Words from Andrea Chandler, Ma Porter, Medusa Rage, Daisy Butterfly and more.
(The scene is one of Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance studios located in Tacoma, Washington. Two men are sitting behind a desk. They are wearing a blue blazer with the GDWA logo on the right side. A woman sits between them with a red and brown suit jacket and skirt. The lights start to come up, and “Atomic Dog” by Parliament–the GDWA theme music–begins to play.)
Dunbar: Wrestling fans, I’m Paul Laurence Dunbar with Allen Bishop and Sonya Blade bringing you the Friday Night Tease. Happy Valentine’s Day on the eve of a less than hospitable card.
Blade: That’s right fans. The Age of Rage has begun…The Browne Girls, Medusa Rage, and THE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS the Misfits will all be on the card this week.
Bishop: Tonight, we start off as always with the World Heavyweight Championship situation! We’ve got Medusa Rage challenging Andrea Chandler tomorrow, and things are starting to heat up.
Dunbar: The war has begun! A battle long and coming…let’s hear words from the Heavyweight Champion of the World, Andrea Chandler….
(Andrea Chandler is lying at poolside, her bronzed skin oiled and glistening, wearing a pink bikini that leaves little of her hard, curvy body to the imagination. The midday sun highlights the contours of her physique with a soft radiance. Noticing the camera, she rolls onto her side, propping her head up on a hand. Beside her lies the World Heavyweight Championship belt.)[Andrea] Why, hello, there, I’ve been waiting. Some of you have been asking me to comment on the situation regarding Medusa Rage, and the remarks she’s made about me recently. (Sighs.) Well, I must admit that if sheer noise were sufficient to make one champion, she’d’ve captured the belt LONG ago. Medusa’s always been prone to saying exactly what’s on her mind, whether founded or otherwise. First, she insists that she’s the (bellows Medusa-style) QUEEN BITCH OF GRAND DRAGON, in a pathetic attempt at one-upsmanship. (Giggles) Like I care. Being the Rich Bitch didn’t make me the champion of the world, ‘dusa. Being the BEST did. So play with words all you like, it’s WINNING that people remember.
Second, you like making frequent reference to the match we had before, and to the encounter I had with Sierra Browne, which are the only blemishes on my otherwise perfect record. You insist that you’re the only one who knows how to beat me. Well, in the former case, I can’t deny that we had a delightful contest, but…you didn’t defeat me. You COULDN’T defeat me. And bear in mind that I’m FAR better now than I was then. As for the latter match…let’s just say that I’m by no means surprised at how easily you accept as legitimate a win gained through the chicanery of your clan. After all, YOU certainly don’t leave home without them. Had someone told me I’d be wrestling a handicap match, I’d’ve planned a trifle differently. In any event, the only thing you’ve established is that you will do anything and everything necessary to claim victory–everything, that is, except abide by the rules. When you prove capable of that, I–and others– MIGHT respect you.
Personally, I think the “Age of Rage” could be cured if you’d all just take a laxative, but far be it from me to intrude on your delusions of importance. Because no matter how much you rant, or how many tainted victories you claim, you’ll always be just another bourgeois little bug on my path to glory, to be crushed and flushed. So let me see if I can adequately describe the differences between me and you…(she points at herself)…stylish…(she points at the camera)…childish…(she points at herself)…glamorous…(she points at the camera)…clueless…(she points at herself)… beautiful…(she points at the camera)…beastly…(she points at herself)…continental…(she points at the camera)…incontinent… (She points at herself)…champ… (She points at the camera, and laughs)…CHUMP!
(Andrea exhales, grinning.)
So it’s once more unto the breach, dear friend. And this time, ‘dusa…let’s just say that what comes around, goes around. You’ve been dishing it out lately. Now it’s time to take it.
(She smiles, running her free hand sensuously along her body.)[Andrea] And to all my fans in Grand Dragon…have a VERY happy Valentine’s Day. Ta-ta! (Blows a kiss, and the scene fades….)
Bishop: Wow! Sonya, did you hear that? Andrea is READY for Medusa.
Blade: I know she is…and so is Medusa. This should be a slugfest between these two. I hope we get a QUALITY match though…
Dunbar: What do you mean?
Blade: Both women have it out for each other. They are playing for keeps, and that could be dangerous…these could be the beginnings of a nasty feud.
Dunbar: In a moment we will turn our attention to Founder’s Day Tradition. For now, let’s hear from the challenger to Andrea Chandler’s World Title! The Matriarch of the Rage family…Medusa Rage!
MEDUSA RAGE[Fade in:
Medusa sits on a golden throne on blood red velvet cushions, a python wrapped around her powerful forearms and shoulders. The snake nuzzles at Medusa’s lips, the tip of its tongue flicking out. Medusa gazes into the camera with heavy-lidded reptilian eyes. Her dreadlocks are sculpted up into a sort of crown. Her lips part slightly and gold fangs are visible in her mouth.]
Medusa: Andrea. Andrea, do you know how many sleepless nights I’ve had just imagining what it would be like to be the World champion of the GDWA? I don’t know if you can appreciate that. It’s been such a dream for so long that now that my chance is here I can taste it.[The python writhes around her shoulders, curling around her neck. She catches its head in her hand and brings it to her lips to kiss.]
Medusa: My sweet Serpentine has been the one to guide me, you know. She’s been the one to show me the way. People say I’ve changed. They say that I’ve gone way over the top. They don’t understand that there is no top for me. I’ve got my army, I’ve got my friends, I’ve got my family. I’ve got the Serpentine, ssssweet Sssserpentine. She guides me. She understands. Andrea, you’ll never understand me. You can’t. You call yourself the Rich Bitch, born with a silver spoon in your mouth. Serpentine tells me not to be so crude anymore. Not to be so rough. Sssssmooth. Ha hahahaha. Snakes, they’re so simple. Serpentine hunts so easily. Drop on your prey and crush them. Andrea, maybe that’s what I’ll do to you. Maybe, just maybe you’ll feel the Serpentine’s crush. It’s very interesting. It’s very interesting indeed.[Medusa pauses. Serpentine slides off her, slithering down one leg.]
Medusa: They say all I care about is hurting people now. You should think about that Andrea. They say that I’m not in my right mind any more. They say I’ve become a killer. I say I’ve found myself.[Medusa begins to sway like a charmed snake.]
Medusa: I say I’ve been liberated. Andrea, meet the serpent of the GDWA this Saturday. You’ll be surprised at what you see. I’m not the same woman that you met before. And I promise you I won’t be the same woman when I leave the RING. This Saturday I will be the GDWA Heavyweight Champion of the World — even if it kills you.[Fade out]
Bishop: Those matches against Dementia Praecox perhaps have really affected her. She seems…spooky.
Dunbar: Those are some of the most profound statements I’ve ever heard. Medusa Rage is SERIOUS!
Blade: There’s going to be a great conflict. You just may want to stay home and watch that one on TV.
Dunbar: Fans, the World Title situation gets even more complicated. Earlier this week, Denmark Vessey e-mailed a memo to both Medusa Rage and Andrea Chandler…Tonya Angelo has made it known that Ma Porter has challenged for the World Title at %%%FOUNDER’S DAY TRADITION%%% Here is a copy of that e-mail sent to us from GDWA President, Denmark Vessey….
Date: Wed, 12 Feb 1997 17:08:07 -0500 (EST) From: Vessey <firstname.lastname@example.org>
To: Andrea Chandler <email@example.com>
Cc: Tony Angelo <firstname.lastname@example.org>, Medusa Rage <email@example.com>
Subject: Founder’s Day Champion
Andrea and Medusa,
One of you will be the HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD after Saturday Night. The GDWA Championship committee has been petitioned by Tony Angelo, manager of Ma Porter, for a World Title shot at %%%FOUNDER’S DAY TRADITION%%%
A loooooooooooooooooooong time ago, Ma Porter earned a title shot at the championship by defeating Officer Order at the Summer Supercard pay per view. Because her ally was the champion at that time, she decided to postpone that shot.
You will receive a flash on the FRIDAY NIGHT TEASE on behalf of Ma Porter, Tony Angelo and Organized Crime regarding this point. The challenge has been made, and despite her ranking in the Top 10, not the Big 5th, she has found a loop hole in the rules.
The only other challenger, I’d assume, would be Andrea Chandler were she to lose the title, and Medusa Rage who’s challenge is still on record.
Thank you for your time, and on behalf of the GDWA Championship Committee, good luck to both of you combatants.
Blade: This is serious. Leave it to Tony Angelo to find a loop hole in the rules.
Bishop: Well, the question isn’t whether she’s qualified to challenge anymore. The question is, will either Andrea or Medusa accept the challenge. And what happens to the loser of the World Title bout on Saturday? I’m sure they’ll want a return match at Founder’s Day Tradition!
Dunbar: Fans, let’s hear from Big Ma Porter and Tony Angelo….
<fade in on interior shout of smoky club, with neon “Organized Crime” sign above some empty pool tables. Ma Porter and Tony Angelo are seated at opposite ends of a rectangular table. Tony is dressed in an expensive looking Armani suit and talking on a cell phone. Ma is picking her fingernails with a table knife>
Tony: (still on phone) …great, I’m glad to hear you’re with us on this. We’ll work out some details later. (Folds phone and puts it in inside pocket). Ahh, the GDWA camera crew! Have a drink boys! (Tony offers bottle to the camera, nobody takes it) Well, suit yourself. (He pours himself a drink) I’m glad you came down here, I’ve just recently wrapped up negotiations with GDWA prez Denmark Vessey, but I’m sure you know that by now. At the Founder’s day PPV, who better than the GDWA’s original badass founder, Ma Porter to be in the main event? Just goes ta show you how important having connections are. Ma, why don’t you tell the world about our little problem. (Drinks)
Ma Porter: Sure thing, Tony. The GDWA, everything that it is right now, was built on the backs of its founders, its old-schoolers. In other words, me. And Lisa Thomas. And even Manson and Blade. And, a little later, the copper, and Zaranna, who I should’ve faced for the title but never did. We built the GDWA, and it just sickens us to see it being overrun by a bunch of upstart, talentless pieces of trash like the so-called Syndicate. Or the Age of Rage. I been around long enough to know that youse have achieved success by the how many people youse can bring to ringside. That aint wrestling, that’s gang warfare. And that’s Porter territory. My only problem is, I been around for so long, there aint a wrestler around who wouldn’t love the opportunity to kick my teeth in. The same goes for all the other old-schoolers, they’ve feuded with everyone. No alliances. No stable made of inbred family members. If you wanna turf war, either of youse, I’ll take you on. The last stable to get in my way, the Dragon Trio, well, I don’t need to go into the details. Point is, I took ’em apart myself. And that’s what I’m gonna do to whichever of you two has the title when the PPV comes along. I’m gonna take that title shot that I deferred when Zaranna was champ and cleanse the GDWA of its infestation.
I don’t wanna play favorites, but I’ll be rootin’ for youse, Chandler. You’re the worst champ wrestling has ever seen; I’d rather have freakin’ Lanny Manson wearing the belt than youse. But I’m not just gonna beat ya. I’m not jsut gonna take your belt. Ma Porter is the woman who’s ended the most careers here at the GDWA. Don’t believe me, ask La Mancha. Or that slob Bertha. Or that coward that was so afraid of me she never even showed up for our match. Your career, much like your worthless stable and even more worthless manager, the Pinhead, will lie in the gutter with the rest of the slime. Assuming you can even get by Wheezy at the next card, which I doubt.
Tony: Make no mistake. GDWA is Porter territory, and she’s taken the title, not for the redneck fans, not even for me, but for herself, and for the old-schoolers of the GDWA who are also nauseated by empty success of the Syndicate and the Age of Rage. We’re about to turn back the clock. (Drains his drink, and Ma Porter flexes her muscles)
Dunbar: There is tension in the GDWA!
Bishop: No doubt! You can’t have Ma Porter blasting Medusa Rage AND Andrea Chandler…my goodness. Does it get any more interesting?
Blade: Ma Porter does have a point. Us old-schoolers kept this fed afloat, gave it the revenue to get our first pay per view so we could get global recognition.
Bishop: I agree, but without the new blood like the Syndicate, Bloody Mary, the Age of Rage and Wendy Marshall, you don’t have the stiff competition TO MAINTAIN that excellence you guys started.
Blade: Allen! What are you, a revisionist historian?! Lanny Manson vs. Zaranna was not only a classic feud, but they were classic matches!!! Ma Porter vs. Officer Order was another set of 5*****star match ups that was feud based. Lanny vs Ma Porter and we can go on and on! These newbies and new schoolers can’t TOUCH the old school GDWA.
Bishop: Hold on a minute! What about Andrea Chandler vs. Lanny Manson in what just may be the greatest match in GDWA history? What about the late ‘Dangerous Queen’ Sachie Yokoyama against Officer Order? What about Zaranna against Daisy Butterfly in Madison Square Garden for the World’s title? Demonica and Dementia Praecox’s feud against ‘Jungle’ Radhi Ananda?
Blade: All of those matches involved old schoolers…
Bishop: But some would argue that the new schoolers carried them.
Dunbar: Fans, we’ll continue this discussion later! (Glaring at the two of them.) Let’s look at the card for tomorrow night’s Saturday Nite Special…
1) Medusa Rage vs. Andrea Chandler (World Heavyweight Championship!)
2) ‘Burning Cherry Blossom’ Rekka Sakura vs. ‘Jungle’ Radhi Ananda (Western Heritage Championship!)
3) GDWA INTERNET Heavyweight Championship Royal Rumble!
4) The Misfits vs High-Flying Dolls (non-title!)
5) The Browne Girls vs. the Suicide Blondes
Dunbar: Fans, we have Founder’s Day Tradition right around the corner. And as we head into Saturday Nite to crown a NEW Internet Heavyweight Champion, let’s hear from one of the participants in that title contender match up at %%%Founder’s Day Tradition%%% I speak of none other than ‘the Franchise’ Daisy Butterfly….
(SCENE: DAISY BUTTERFLY, dressed in a tight-fitting GDWA t-shirt and red tracksuit pants. Her black hair is up in two buns on the top of her head)
Daisy: Internet title, Internet title shot; that’s not at all where my head is at right now. Right now, I’m focusing straight on you, Micki Duran. I’m focusing on what you can do and what I can do to you. Not looking for a title shot; I’ve been down that road twice before and every time gold gets in my eyes it becomes all I see. That’s not the case now. Right now, Internet title aside, we’re gonna go out there and prove who’s the best in the world. We’re going in there to put ourselves over and settle an unspoken, unacted feud that’s been sitting dormant since you arrived. I could care less about the Syndicate, about Chandler and her World belt. I could really care less about the I-Title. The only thing I’m about now is perfection. Being on top. And that, girlfriend, is where I’m staying. Sayonara, “Legend”…
Bishop: Wow! Daisy is SERIOUS!!! Micki Duran better watch out.
Blade: You know, if Duran wins the Internet title, and Strike gets a shot at the Tag Team belts that the MISFITS own, the Syndicate could hold *all* of the GDWA’s gold.
Bishop: The tag team belts…wow! I wonder who gets THAT title shot?!
Dunbar: We’ll focus on that in a minute. Fans, turning our attention now to other matters, we have WHO’s HOT and WHO’s NOT with Medusa Rage this week. Go ahead Ms. Rage…
MEDUSA RAGE[Fade in: Medusa spins around to face the camera in her studio chair. She has a mean and hard look on her face.]
Medusa: Who’s Hot/Who’s Not? You want me to tell you. Here, let me tell you the real deal. I’m gonna start it off like this. Hot. Andrea Chandler’s burning about as bright as a supernova right now. None of the so-called fan favorites around here want to face her. Why? Cause they all got beat by her. That’s why. But every supernova burns out. And Andrea, Saturday, is where you run out of fuel.
Medusa: Hot. Daisy Butterfly. She beat Nikita Marx in what turned out to be a best of four match, surprise, surprise. That Iron Butterfly nearly ripped Nikita’s arm out and finished a feud that Butterfly started. Girl, enjoy it, because there will soon come a time when I have to clip your wings.
Medusa: Hot. Dementia Praecox. Bloody Mary. Radhi Ananda. Why? Dementia’s the number one contender to two titles. Bloody Mary is really coming on and Radhi Ananda still hasn’t lost that Great Western Heritage title. All three are hot.[Medusa beats the desk before her.]
Medusa: Hot. Me. I’m hot under the collar. “Tour of the Apocalypse”, “Annihilation of the Worthless” call it whatever. I really don’t give a damn. This is just getting stupid. You suspend Dalbello? You disqualify me in a no-holds barred match? You see Nikita in the hospital and Dementia all busted up. That’s what I can do Denmark Vessey. You think you can control me? You think you can run me? Nobody controls Medusa. NOBODY![Medusa half-spins away from the camera, making ready to leave. She stops, shouts something at the producer and spins back.]
Medusa: Yeah. Who’s not. Sonya Blade, you old has been, why the hell did you lace up the boots to be embarrassed so badly. I hope I never run into you because you wasted my shot at it all. You wasted everybody’s time and you just fed Chandler’s ego. You’re lucky she took pity on your pathetic ass because if that were me I’d smash you right into the ground.[Medusa smiles wickedly. She’s wearing gold serpent’s fangs.]
Medusa: Another not. Charlotte LaMancha. Glass Joe is out and done. Thank God. Somebody take Lady Tiger out too and I’ll be happy. Not. The High-Flying Dolls. Did they even bother to prepare in their match against the Suicide Blondes? The whole thing looked like crap. Girls, my Misfits will eat you alive.[Medusa smiles villainously again. She can’t help but laugh.]
Medusa: Not. Nikita Marx. She’s lost to Wendy Marshall, Daisy Butterfly, and I finally put her out of her misery. Nikita. You’ve never been anything and you will never be anything.
Medusa: And Staci-X. You’re nothing, girl. Again, another person gets a shot at Andrea Chandler and hasn’t got two clues what to do with it. You disgust me. You’re definitely not.[Medusa turns and shouts to offstage.]
Medusa: Right, that’s it! Shut these damn cameras off! I’m out of here![Medusa storms off the set.]
Bishop: Wow! Sonya Blade made the not list.
Dunbar: Sonya has just left to prepare for GDWA hotline news. For now, let’s hear from GDWA Tag Team champions, the MISFITS….
THE MISFITS[Fade in: Dalbello Rage stares into the camera from a tight head and shoulders shot. She is visibly angry, her angular features twisted.]
Dalbello: Suspended, eh? You think you can suspend me? I’m one half of the damn tag team champions. I’m Medusa’s manager. You want to suspend me? Go ahead and try. I tell you this I’m going to make you all pay for this. And it isn’t going to be pretty. You really don’t have a clue what suspension means to me, do you? It means I have time to kick back, let my body relax and heal and put my head to work. You don’t want to see me when I have time alone to think. President Vessey, you can fine me all you want. You can suspend me for eleven weeks if you want. Hell, I DARE you to strip the Misfits of the titles! Come on. You think I give a damn about whacking some striped shirt in the head with a briefcase? I don’t! See, the more you try to take away from me is the meaner I get. Boy, you better reinforce the line-up in the tag-team division because I’m gonna be hurting some people. I tell you that. I’m really gonna Perfect Punch someone’s teeth down their throat. I promise you that.[As proof Dalbello punches the screen and it goes black.]
Bishop: Dalbello Rage not liking her situation one bit. But she shouldn’t have nailed the referee like that. You shouldn’t hit a referee period!
Dunbar: Fans, we will have further words from BOTH of the Misfits on the Saturday Night Special. For now, let’s hear from the Suicide Blonds who consider themselves the number 1 contenders to the Tag Belts…
(SCENE: The SUICIDE BLONDES, lounging in the back of a limousine as it weaves through the night. Both ladies are wearing dark sunglasses and black fur coats.)
Baby Jane Ross: So it seems that a couple of stray cats that call themselves the “Misfits” want to get into our limelight a bit, huh?
Taylor Monroe: For real, sweetie. I guess holding the GDWA gold isn’t enough for them. They want to be STARS. Well girls, we’ll make you famous all right…
Baby Jane Ross: And then they go and insult our skill? As if! Honey, please. A star is only as bright as her supporting cast. Look at our opponents for our first night out! What more did we need to do to put away those baby Dolls?
Taylor Monroe: You go! And Misfits…you better check yourselves! You want to talk about skills? Oh yeah, you must have them. I’ve seen NOTHING but mindless brute brawling from everyone in your petite little clan. Jealousy is very, very ugly. Wouldn’t you agree, dear?
Baby Jane Ross: Most certainly. As are those two aptly-titled Misfits. Dalbello, sweetie; I’m sure you were an absolute HIT at the ball back in the day, but a woman your age should really conceal…not reveal. Those bags under your eyes. That turkey-waddle you call a tricep. Please mom, back off a little. I suppose it’s awful hard for one to grow old with grace when she’s lacked it her whole life. Dear, do try to use caution in the ring and remember–calcium is very, very necessary when the years begin to wear at you…
Taylor Monroe: And how about that blonde gorilla Godiva! I swear, Poppa must have been a REAL rolling stone. Let’s see…two in Canada, one in England; he sure seemed to enjoy the fruits of the monarchy. Godiva, baby doll; drop the accent. I’m sure the boys love it but you see, now you’re talking with LIVE INTELLIGENT WOMEN. We do appreciate any attempt you’d be willing to make to learn and speak English the way we understand it. And while you’re at it, add fries and a Cherry Coke to my order. And keep the change–who knows when Daddy’s going to be in town…
Baby Jane Ross: Dear, you are so cruel sometimes…
Taylor Monroe: I try, sweetie.
Baby Jane Ross: It seems as if the Rage family really does want a piece of us. Look at this; how cute! They even sent the Browne Girls over for a dance!
Taylor Monroe: Browne Girls? Plural? I was under the impression that Indigo was deported…
Baby Jane Ross: Goodness no, honey! She’s just been in and out of the hospital SO many times…that leg of hers is really acting up, y’know.
Taylor Monroe: For real, she’s busted it how many times? I swear, any other sport and she’d be GLUE by now. It’s sick the lows that a woman has to sink to make a living.
Baby Jane Ross: Indigo, hon. Show up on Saturday and we’ll give you ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for the effort. That should let you live like royalty back in Bermuda…
Taylor Monroe: Sorry to interrupt, but the Brownes are from Trinidad. They made a point to mention that before.
Baby Jane Ross: Whatever. Just another bottom-feeder country. Take the money and go off skipping the light fantastic. Whatever you wish, sweetie. But stick around and we’ll make Jerk Chicken out of the two of you.
Taylor Monroe: Do they eat Jerk Chicken in Trinidad? I thought that was Jamaica.
Baby Jane Ross: Bottom-feeders, girlfriend. It doesn’t matter…
Bishop: As much as I DON’T like them, the Suicide Blondes sound serious. They want a shot at those tag belts, and their match against the Browne Girls Saturday will be an important one.
Dunbar: True Indeed. And after all of the high and mighty comments the Suicide Blondes have been making, the Browne Girls who face them tomorrow night had to say a thing or two. Let’s hear from them…
BROWNE GIRLS[Fade in: A shower of gold cascades down the screen. The picture bleeds into Sierra and Indigo Browne, posed side-by-side, smiling warmly into the camera.]
Sierra: Suicide Blondes, girls, we’ve been watching you and we don’t like what we see.
Indigo: You’re all cheap shots and distraction tactics and those outfits are just a disgrace.
Sierra: So, we’re going to do something about it tomorrow. We’re going to save you from yourselves.
Indigo: All your underhanded tactics are meaningless in the GDWA. We’re going to show you exactly what *TALENT* is all about. It’s been a long time since we got to have fun in the ring. Well, we’re going to start it up again. The Browne Girls are back and better than ever!
Sierra: Don’t blink or you’ll miss us rocket right past you.
Together: Whoosh!!!![Fade out]
Dunbar: That should be a GREAT match up. For once, a traditional match up between a fan favorite and a rule breaker. Fans, Sonya Blade is ready to give us the GDWA Hotline News. Go ahead Sonya….
Blade: Thanks Paul! Fans, we are now just 24 hours away from crowning a NEW Internet Heavyweight champion. The winner of the I-Title will face Dementia Praecox a week from tomorrow. So now, in alphabetical order, are the 10 participants….
- Bloody Mary
- ‘Supermodel’ Eleanor Royal
- ‘The Kyoto Crippler’ Keiko Mita
- Medusa Rage
- ‘Burning Cherry Blossom’ Rekka Sakura
- Sierra Browne
- Staci X
- ‘Brilliant’ Tiffany Chandler
- ‘Wildchild’ Wendy Marshall
Blade: One of these 10 wrestlers will become the NEW GDWA INTERNET HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! I can’t wait…oh, my pick is Staci X!
(Sonya Blade checks her hair as a guitar riff of ‘Raising Hell’ by Run DMC is cued up….)
Blade: Bigger than Superbrawl and grander than Wrestlemania….Now, the Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance is proud to present out next ppv!
(The lights dim and a banner pops up behind Sonya Blade.)
Blade: …FOUNDER’S DAY TRADITION! This pay per view will commemorate the opening of the GDWA, back when we were the DPW’s Women’s Division. Here is an update:
1) Vonya has signed to face the newcomer Lady Tiger. “The Battle of the Japanese Superstars” 2) “Burning Cherry Blossom” Rekka Sakura vs ‘Kyoto Crippler’ Keiko Mita!
Vonya, former member of the Evil Empire, has been out of action since our past pay per view. Lady Tiger as well has been out of action. She just returned from France visiting Charlotte La Mancha. That should be great. And the Battle of the Japanese Superstars promises to be a show stopper. As Allen Bishop would say….Wow!
The pay per view event of the year, FOUNDER’S DAY TRADITION will take place on March 10th. Misfits, Andrea, Medusa, get those matches signed!
(Flips through some more papers.)
Blade: Rumor has it that a former GDWA competitor is negotiating a return to Grand Dragon. More when there is more….also, doctors are concerned about the condition of Medusa Rage and Radhi Ananda. The WESTERN HERITAGE CHAMPION ‘Jungle’ Radhi Ananda takes on Rekka Sakura this weekend. She could walk out with BOTH the Western Heritage Championship *AND* the Internet Heavyweight Championship before it is all said and done.
Medusa Rage is defying doctor’s orders to not only involve herself in that grueling 10 woman Battle Royal, but she takes on WORLD’S HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION Andrea Chandler!
(Sonya stares at a notice dumfounded as she looks back up at the screen.)
Blade: Now this is news. Mike Whalen has overheard rumors of a possible NEW division opening up in Grand Dragon. No word on what it is, but YOU KNOW I’ll get the word on this.
(Smiles as the music comes up.)
Blade: That’s all this week for HOTLINE NEWS. Next week, we will have the complete line up on FOUNDER’S DAY TRADITION. Guys, back to you!
Bishop: Andrea Chandler with a BIG title defense on Saturday Nite. She and Medusa’s feud has been a long time coming…and Medusa is in the Internet title Royal Rumble as well?
Dunbar: This has been coined the ‘Rookie Rumble’ from some insiders. They say, amazingly, that the odds are in favor of a rookie taking the INTERNET title.
Bishop: And just as Sonya Blade stated, Rekka Sakura could walk away as our FIRST bi-titled champion. NO ONE has EVER done that in our sports history.
Dunbar: Let’s hear from ‘Burning Cherry Blossom’ Rekka Sakura…
REKKA SAKURA[Open camera on a sparse gym. Actually it is more like a basement that has been outfitted with a ring, punching bag and weight bench. This is the new training facility of Rekka Sakura, who is currently less than talkative]
Yukio: [angrily] YOU CALL THAT EFFORT? 245 POUNDS IS ALL YOU CAN BENCH? AND YOU THINK THAT YOU STAND AGAINST A MONSTER LIKE RADHI ANANDA? [Throws the towel on her shoulder to the ground] WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER TO TRAIN YOU REKKA? [Kicks the wall in frustration]
Rekka Sakura: [straining to get one more clear press for an even 50] UUUHHHNNN!!! [Rekka clears the last press and then lets the dumbbell come crashing down on the floor] YOU WANT MORE YUKIO? FINE!! [Sprints off the bench and goes to the punching bag] YOU DOUBT MY COURAGE OR CAPABILITY YUKIO? YOU DARE TO QUESTION MY RESOLVE? [Takes a step back and then lets loose with a savage superkick. The chain on the bag breaks from the impact] DO YOU STILL DOUBT ME YUKIO? YOU DOUBT THE RAGING INFERNO THAT BURNS IN THE BREAST OF THIS “BURNING CHERRY BLOSSOM”?
Yukio: [UPSET] SCREW THE “BURNING CHERRY BLOSSOM” GARBAGE!! WORRY MORE ABOUT YOUR OPPONENT!! TO HELL WITH ALL OF IT!! WHAT GOOD IS THAT “RAGING INFERNO” INSIDE OF YOU IF YOU CAN’T CHANNEL IT INTO ANGER? UNLEAS THE AGGRESSION WITHIN YOU REKKA!! LET THE ANGER SET “THE BURNING CHERRY BLOSSOM” ABLAZE AND TURN INTO AN INFERNO!!
Rekka Sakura: [angry yet confused] WHAT? YOU DON’T MEAN…
Yukio: [triumphantly] YES!! LET THE FIRE CONSUME YOU SO THE SPIRIT AND FIRE ARE ONE!! ONLY BY LETTING GO AND ABANDONING YOUR DISCIPLINE CAN YOU HOPE TO BEAT RADHI!! [Her eyes narrow and she looks at Rekka scrutinizing] fail to do this and not only will Radhi beat you… SHE’LL CRIPPLE YOU!!
Rekka Sakura: [the shock of what Yukio has said mixes with the anger already burning within. Rekka goes NUTS and suddenly starts to violently punch the wall repeatedly] AAAAGGGHHHHH!!!! [Each punch leaves a trickle of blood as Rekka’s knuckles pop after each blow. regardless Rekka ignores the pain and continues to punch the wall, even after leaving large dents in it]
Yukio: [quietly] Good, now you more than stand a chance… now you can win…[Fade out over the violent screams and continuous pounding on the wall generating from Rekka Sakura]
Bishop: Was she serious, or was she simply mocking Radhi Ananda, the WESTERN HERITAGE CHAMPION?
(Allen Bishop pauses as Sonya Blade returns to the set.)
Bishop: Glad to have you back.
Blade: Hey, don’t mention it. You know, this Rekka Sakura reminds me of Daisy Butterfly in her younger years. Sort of a silly side to a serious competitor. I can’t wait till that match up.
Dunbar: Well fans, we’ve got comments from the champion. The challenger has spoken, now let’s hear from ‘Jungle’ Radhi Ananda…
(SCENE: A near pitch dark room. Wisps of smoke from burning incense create a frame for a center screen sitting “JUNGLE” RADHI ANANDA; her eyes burning with her trademark ferocity…)
Radhi: See this, Rekka Sakura. This one is always the hunter. You question why I have challenged you; why I have put my kingdom on the line? Because, in your ignorance, you seem to believe that you are able to attain this “small” belt. Listen to the passion in my voice as I tell you about my title.
Listen to May Order as she explains her hunt. This belt that I wear, more so than any other in the Grand Dragon, symbolizes greatness. Every other week I must channel my energies into reconquering my domain. This belt has been to the peak of the mountain and to the bottom of the sea. It survives through a tumultuous history of bloody battles between the greatest warriors in the world. More so than any other title, as Order herself states, this one proves SKILL. One thing that you question of me. Believe that you are superior to me in skill, Cherry Blossom. Believe that you have me beat in heart as well. Believe these things, and you shall sink faster than a stone in a pond. The Black Mother’s kingdom does not suffer foolishness. Bring your fire, Cherry Blossom.
Bloody Mary, you spoke of me in respectful tones before. You are a fierce warrior but twice you have fallen to the jungle. Yet you scream for a third shot, believing that this time it will be different. Certain men will rush to call me a coward for ignoring your latest challenge, but they are just as ignorant as the Cherry Blossom that sees this belt as an easy prize. Mary, we shall see what happens after Founder’s Day. If I retain my title, you shall have another shot. But be warned–if you win the Internet title my shot will not be denied by the promoters. I have earned that shot by being the greatest Western Heritage champion in the history of the Grand Dragon. I exist for these bloody encounters…
Dunbar: Allen, Sonya, let’s look at the possibilities. Rekka Sakura takes the belt, and must defend it against Officer Order and must wrestle the ‘Kyoto Crippler’ Keiko Mita the same night at Founder’s Day Tradition!
Blade: That would be incredible!
Bishop: Well, Paul Laurence. You also have the possibility that Bloody takes the belt, or even Dementia Praecox, and we have a feud brewing! We all know that there is no love lost between Bloody Mary and Radhi Ananda…but that is nothing to the way Jungle hated Praecox early in her GDWA career!
Dunbar: Speaking of Bloody Mary, she has an old gripe with Keiko Mita the ‘Kyoto Crippler’. They both will be involved in that 10 woman Battle Royal this Saturday. Let’s hear from Keiko Mita….
KEIKO MITA[Scene fades in. It’s a grey, dreary day and Keiko Mita is walking through a graveyard. She’s dressed all in black, her hands shoved in the pockets of her black jacket. Passing a gravestone, she picks up a rose and studies it for a moment before speaking in a soft, calm voice.]
I come here sometimes to think. That might sound strange to you, but as Yamamoto Tsunenori wrote in ‘Hidden Leaves’ the way of the warrior is death. Through the resolute acceptance of death, a warrior is freed of all fear. A good thing when your debut match in the GDWA is in a royal rumble for the Internet title!
Looking over the roster, it looks almost like a rookie rumble though. Aside from Medusa Rage there are not a lot of the ‘heavy’ hitters of the GDWA. That surprised me, but it just gives us newcomers a better chance to make our name.
Tiffany Chandler! We’ll be in the ring together at last. You were challenged previously and my name was involved in that challenge. You chose to ignore it. ‘Brilliant’ move on your part. The Kyoto Crippler can be turned down or agreed with, but in the Rumble you’ll find out what happens to people that ignore me! You are warned.[Keiko looks down at the rose she holds, letting it drop from her fingers quietly.]
Bloody Mary…..Mary. I know you are tough. I know you will get other chances at titles. Think this over, girl. Going into the Rumble with the Crippler is not a good idea if you are not 100%. I’m totally focused for this. I’m not going to hold back, no matter how much you bleed, no matter how hurt you are. I’m not Andrea Chandler, I have no mercy for my opponents! When the time comes, when your name gets called to go into the ring, think it over Mary. If I’m in the ring, do the smart thing. Turn around and leave. I have no desire to hurt further someone already injured, but I’ll do so if I need to.[Keiko turns to leave, the rose crushed under her boot as she walks off.]
Bishop: Sonya, this is the match I’ve wanted to see for a while. Bloody Mary and Mita have it out for one another.
Blade: (Smiling) You know guys, I miss the old days when…!
Bishop: Here we go with this again.
Dunbar: Fans, let’s hear from Lady Tiger before this thing gets out of hand…
(Scene opens up outside a girl’s locker room. The camera is a fair way away. The door opens, and a trim, blonde haired girl steps out, carrying a duffel bag and wearing a purple scarf, facing away from the camera. She half turns her head and, spying the camera, lets out a shout and turns away. The camera only manages to catch a few wisps of hair. She puts her hands over her face, quickly rummages through her bag and slips on a mask)
Tiger: Will you guys stop sneaking up on me??? I wear this for a reason you know!!
(The camera man, taken aback by the curt response, backs of for a second)
Tiger: Oh, no, sorry! I didn’t mean to be cruel! You just surprised me, that’s all! Thanks for coming, really! Just, let me know in advance next time, ok?
(She takes a second to get herself organized)
Tiger: Well, Founder’s Day tradition is quickly approaching! Miko Azai chose not to accept my challenge, maybe she was not ready for singles after all. I guess it is now me and Vonya scheduled for Founder’s Day.
(Grabs her duffel bag, slings it over her shoulder and heads for the exit)
Tiger: Well Vonya, I suppose I am going into this match as somewhat of an underdog. Little experience here in Grand Dragon, taking on a member of the Evil Empire. Then again, I went into Dog Pound Nights as an underdog as well, did I not? And we all know what happened there.
(Pauses at the gym’s exit to talk to the camera)
Tiger: I like to make a good impression for my fans here in GDWA. They are, and always will be, my reason for wrestling. So Vonya, when we meet each other in front of thousands and thousands of Grand Dragon fans, I want to make another good impression. And I am going to try to do this at your expense. I know you are among the best here in GDWA, but I hope I can prove myself one better.
(Whistles down a cab. The driver opens a door to let her in and sees her wearing a mask. Just as she’s about to get in, he floors the gas pedal and takes off down the street, leaving a stunned Lady Tiger behind)
Tiger: Hmm. Guess I will be walking. (Turns to the camera a final time) Do not expect to meet a lady in the ring at Founder’s Day Tradition, Vonya. Or the Tiger will tear you apart!! Expect a few surprises when we meet, Vonya. That, I can guarantee!!
Blade: Wouldn’t surprise me at all if that were Mike Whalen. He’s always slipping into the female locker room for a ‘GDWA flashback’…yeah right!
Bishop: (Laughing) Well, despite some other distractions, Lady Tiger sounds ready for Vonya coming Founder’s Day.
Dunbar: Fans, let’s hear from a new Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance tag team. They call themselves Burning Rain…..
<Scene opens showing a large, heavy set Japanese woman dressed in a black tank top and baggy military camo pants. She is looking into a mirror putting on green face paint as a pretty, young Hispanic girl in a crop top and cutoff jeans enters. Both move to face the camera.>
Heavy set woman: Hello to the
Younger girl: GDWA, we’re
Both: BURNING RAIN!
Heavy woman: I’m Gojira Takeshima
Younger girl: I’m ‘Fire Angel’ Maria Urquidez
Both: We’re here to restore some order to the GDWA.
Gojira: The federation is going to the dawgs!
Maria: Have you seen the top girls?
Gojira: Chandler. Rage.
Maria: Duran. Dementia.
Gojira: No respect for the fans or each other.
Maria: Ringside brawls. Chairs and steel briefcases flying!
Gojira: Looks more like the ECW than the GDWA.
Maria: Yo, Chicas! The name of the game is -wrestling-.
Gojira: The Tag team champs, the most violent team in wrestling.
Maria: The Misfits.
Gojira: STRIKE and Suicide Blonds almost as bad.
Maria: Blonds look like something out of Rocky Horror
Gojira: We’re here to set things right!
Maria: We’re here to give the fans someone to cheer for!
Gojira: We’re here to restore order!
Maria: Here to be the sexiest girl alive!
<Gojira stares at Maria>
<Maria, blushing> Sorry got carried away.
Gojira: We’re send out an open challenge to any team.
Maria: We’ll face anyone. Anywhere. Anytime!
Gojira: But especially, Suicide Blonds…
Maria: We challenge you!
Gojira: You think you can look down on us.
Maria: On the fans!
Gojira: Accept the challenge.
Maria: And learn a lesson you’ll never forget!
<Both pose for the camera, holding up their fists in a fighting pose.>
Blade: I wish them well in the GDWA. They sound like they have a positive attitude.
Bishop: That is definitely important in this sport.
Dunbar: Definitely. Fans, we’ve got comments from one of the heavy hitters of the GDWA who WILL NOT be in the Royal Rumble. Nomad has been basking in the glow of her victory over Eleanor Royal as of late. Let’s here from the Iraqi, Nomad…
NOMAD[Nomad and Princess Nelli are in front of a TV watching the highlights of her match with Eleanor Royal last week. Both girls burst out laughing as they watch Nomad clobber Eleanor Royal and pin her. Nelli freezes the picture and turns toward the GDWA cameraman.]
Nelli: “Eleanor Royal, that’s just your first encounter with. If you think that’s bad, just wait until Founder Day. You might not be able to make it out of the ring.”[Nelli holds up a thick folder.}
Nelli: “Wendy and Eleanor, do you see this? This is a listing of all the wrestlers that want to be partners with Nomad at Founders Day. In the next three weeks, I’ll be choosing from among the best wrestlers in the world to walk into the ring with us. And they be even meaner than Nomad.”[Nomad steps forward.]
Nomad: “Wendy and Eleanor, you had better watch you backs. You never know what can happen.”[The scene fades with both women laughing as the TV shows Nomad attack Eleanor Royal after the pin.]
Blade: The nerve of those two. Eleanor Royal ‘The Supermodel’ had to have an oral examination after that match. Nomad will get hers at Founder’s Day Tradition when they meet in that tag match.
Bishop: But who is Nomad’s partner? I’m wondering about this. It could make all the difference in the world.
Dunbar: Fans, with comments, let’s hear from ‘Supermodel’ Eleanor Royal and ‘Wildchild’ Wendy Marshall…
ELEANOR ROYAL[The scene opens up with Eleanor Royal furiously stalking back and forth across the room. Standing in the background is Wendy Marshall.]
Eleanor: “Life gets complicated when you’re rising to the top.”[Eleanor stops pacing, stands next to Wendy, and turns toward the camera.]
Eleanor: “Tiffany, I don’t know where you’re getting this preposterous information that you claim you have. I must have hit you a little too hard in our match and you’re stating to develop hallucinations. If you want a rematch with me, fine. Let me know when and where.”[Eleanor pauses to catch her breath then starts up again. It’s clear that she’s angry.]
Eleanor: “Nomad, I don’t know what you hit me with but you’ll pay for that. You bring your mystery partner to Founders Day and Wendy Marshall and I will end your tenure in the GDWA once and for all. And Princess Nelli, interfere again and this time you won’t walk away.”
Wendy: “Nomad, you made a big mistake by challenging us. Individually, we’re awesome but together, we’re unbeatable. I saw your match against Eleanor and you would have lost if it weren’t for the foreign object.”
Eleanor: “Until our match at Founders Day, Wendy and I have vowed to watch each other’s back. Any time one of us has a match, the other will be at ring side.”
Wendy: “And don’t think that we’ve forgotten about the Internet Title Royal Rumble. As luck would have it, both of us will be competing in this tournament and I can guarantee all of you that one of us will walk out of the ring with the title.”
Blade: Now THAT is the spirit of Grand Dragon. 2 fan favorites restoring order to the GDWA!!! Wendy Marshall and Eleanor Royal are NOT to be messed with.
Dunbar: Fans, that’s it for the Friday Night Tease. Next week we have results from the Royal Rumble concerning our NEXT Internet Champion and of course a host of comments from GDWA superstars.
Bishop: The fun never ends I suppose. I swear, this weekend will be something…different.
Dunbar: Okay fans, until the MVP, for all of us here tonight I’m Paul Laurence Dunbar saying see ya at ringside!