Promos from The New Browne Girls, Burning Rain, Chelsea Vandervilt and more.

(The scene is the Oakland Coliseum Arena in Oakland, California. The camera view starts with a distance view of the ring, showing three people sitting behind a desk, a wall of monitors behind them. Then the camera angle starts circling and moving inward as Atomic Dog by Parliament, the GDWA theme music begins the play. Finally the camera stops, showing two women and one man. The woman in the middle has cafe au lait skin and blond hair, wearing a blue blazer with the GDWA logo on the right side. The man wears wire rim glasses and a matching blazer. The other woman is Asian, her hair dyed ice blue, wearing street style leathers in black and ice blue.)

Nina: Hello and welcome again to the MVP! I’m Nina LeRoux and joining me is Rod Harrison and the globetrotting Razor Tsuruta. We had a white hot show this past week, culminating in Officer Order winning the World’s Championship! Wow! Dementia Praecox has even fallen from the top five after her loss. Despite holding the title for several months, she’s never seemed to have gotten any respect, ideas why?

Rod: Pure jealousy. Dementia, someone not a member of the rulebreaking gangs, won the worlds title. The Syndicate was tricked and embarrassed and the Age of Rage just picked up on that. Dementia did what none of them could do, except for Andrea Chandler, and it pissed them off. You notice, Syndicate and the Age of Rage were the people slamming Dementia most viciously.

Razor: And Rod might even be right for once. Otherwise I can’t explain it. Dementia won the title by cheating, but she won. She defended the title by cheating, and against some of the best in the GDWA. Since neither the Age of Rage or Syndicate have ever had a trouble with cheating to win before, I can’t explain it. Yes, most of Dementia’s matches ended less then conclusively, but so did the Misfits and no one ever dogged them.

Nina: Well, whatever the reason, we still have an action packed show tonight, with comments from some of the best in the GDWA! So let’s start with the African Dawgs themselves, the GDWA World Tag Champs, the Hyena Queens!

The Hyena Queens

(The scene is a penthouse in Pine Bluff, Arkansas. The Hyena Queens are studying their opponents for the World Title match at the Fall Moonsault. Angela Bassett pumps iron, laid out on the bench press, as Terry McMillen sits in front of a monitor….)

‘Technician’ Terry McMillen: We’ve broken down the strengths and weaknesses of all the tag teams at the GDWA Fall Moonsault pay per view. Now, after much deliberation, Angela is going to give her final synopsis made public for the first time.

‘Powerbomb’ Angela Bassett: Let me warn you that this will be rather explicit, and isn’t meant for the lighthearted. No offense ladies, but business never personal.

‘Technician’ Terry McMillen: Let’s begin with the first team we face that night. The Burning Rain.

‘Powerbomb’ Angela Bassett: You said Burning Rain? How lucky can 2 women get?! The only team in Grand Dragon history that receive title shots for LOSING a match! What the hell is that? Burning Rain, I don’t care who’s big toe you are sucking on…you may have gotten to the head of the line, but on September first we gonna show you why the Hyena Queens rule the world!

‘Technician’ Terry McMillen: How about their arch rivals the Suicide Blondes…oops! I’m sorry, they already received a title shot, and couldn’t get the job done.

‘Powerbomb’ Angela Bassett: You damn right they couldn’t get the job done. Blondes, you blew it! Now you wanna talk all big and bad after the fact, talking about how you coulda, shoulda, woulda! You wanna wage war with the African Dawgs, but come up with excuses when you could render the belts from our hands. You either get the job done, or you *do* the jobbin! And you can take THAT to the bank!!

(Angela looks about quizzically, as she glares into the camera.)

‘Powerbomb’ Angela Bassett: As a matter of fact, there are a lot of hypocrites out there who *suddenly* want a crack at our titles. Listen up ladies. The Hyena Queens never measured success by the wins and losses we received throughout our career. Success is about money in the bank and gold around our waist…AND WE’VE GOT *ALL* Of IT!

‘Technician’ Terry McMillen: Translation: Take on the best and get jobbed like the rest…and to the new MISFITS who just got done downsizing their team…if you feel like you’re all that NEW and IMPROVED Lauryn and Godiva, bring yourselves to the Moonsault. And if you get lucky, we might defend the belts 3 times that night.

(She hits pause, and sets the remote control down upon a stack of Essence and Jet magazines. A smirk wiggles its way across the Technician’s face.)

‘Technician’ Terry McMillen: And speaking of stables….Syndicate, I don’t think you wanna be running your mouth about ‘the Queens of the Ring’ the Hyena Queens. We ran Andrea Chandler and Micki Duran out of the tag ranks, and we ran YOUR OTHER tag team *CLEAR OUT* of the GDWA. Do you really wanna go there? You better caution some of your junior members TO SHUT THEIR TRAP! Because they sure as hell don’t know what they are getting into…they will STRIKE out just like all the others.

(Angela sits up from the bench press and grins into the camera.)

‘Powerbomb’ Angela Bassett: Kingpin, bring them 2 Syndicate rejects Sally “I’m too sexy for CCW” McClane and Tiffany “I wanna be just like Andrea when I grow up” Chandler to the ring next week on the Catfight, and we’ll show them why we are the best thing happening today!

‘Technician’ Terry McMillen: Hmm, the tag card is getting kind of sparse now. We got Ren and Stimpy against the Brown Girls. The winner faces us later in the night for the STRAPS!

(Angela Bassett is actually awestruck, and takes a swig of mineral water as she glances over at Terry.)

‘Powerbomb’ Angela Bassett: The _new_ Brown Girls? You mean the bargain basement tag team of the GDWA?

‘Technician’ Terry McMillen: The ONE and ONLY!

(Angela hops up from the bench press and walks over to Terry McMillen’s trophy case. Her part of the WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES is encased, shining obtusely for the camera.)

‘Powerbomb’ Angela Bassett: The damn Brown Girls….Girls, you use that word BROWN lightly, don’t you? Marissa, if you even GET to us at the end of the night, we’re gonna show and prove to you what it means to be a PROFESSIONAL wrestler!

‘Technician’ Terry McMillen: And Idaho Browne….

‘Powerbomb’ Angela Bassett: She really *is* a ho, Terry.

‘Technician’ Terry McMillen: I know, you know, and most of all Mike Whalen the GDWA gigolo knows most of all. But Browne, YOU don’t seem to realize that Sally McClane is enough harlot for a respectable women’s fed to bear responsibility for. Girrrrl, don’t make me get up and get my belt! Cause I’ll get to whoopin’ your sorry black behind for makin’ the race look bad.

‘Powerbomb’ Angela Bassett: Brown Girls, you 2 cowards haven’t asked for a title shot since we whooped the hell out of old Dalbello “I think I’ll collect my retirement check” Rage and Godiva! And they had TWICE the guts that ya’ll got! How much nerve does it take to face us after we wrestle the Burning Rain in a grueling 5 minute match up!? So as far as we are concerned, you Girls are just as white as Ma Porter’s big ass!!

(Terry prints out an e-mail, and walks about her apartment, reading and shaking her head in disbelief.)

‘Technician’ Terry McMillen: Now, rumor has it that the hot heads in the GDWA administration are creating a second tag belt. What better way to avoid the Hyena Queens then to play second fiddle to us!

‘Powerbomb’ Angela Bassett: The Ladies Extreme belt…that’s what they call it! Well as far as we’re concerned, you can enact all your little childhood dreams in that little playground called the LEWA tournament! But when you sorry ass High Flying Jobbers and Idol TKO Otanashi tag teams of the GDWA want to step up to the WORLD TITLE competition, come knockin’ on OUR door. Because the African Dawgs plan on wearing these straps for an awful long time!

(Angela settles back under the rack, and hoists the bar up, and brings it back down to her chest as she Terry returns to her PC.)

‘Powerbomb’ Angela Bassett: Ladies of the GDWA, we’re the Queens of the ring. And when it’s all said and done, remember what we told ya: Take on the best and get jobbed like the rest!

‘Technician’ Terry McMillen: “All Hail the Queens!”

(Scene fades to black as the Hyena Queens chuckle in the background.)

Rod: Hyena Queens with words with all the teams in the GDWA. At least they are not afraid of anyone.

Razor: But Fall Moonsault might be overdoing it. They apparently defend their titles twice there. And THAT is a rough task for anyone.

Nina: One team the Queens claim to have ‘downsized’ is the Misfits. Let’s hear from the NEW Misfits.

The New Misfits

[Fade in:

The scene is an interview set, a raised level draped over with a purple velvet drop cloth. Godiva Rage lounges on the ground, wearing a satiny white slip dress that clings to her muscular physique. Her beige skin seems all the paler by the combination of the dress, her blonde hair and the darkness surrounding her. Lauryn is dressed all in black, shrouded in the shadow behind her on the podium, braiding Godiva’s hair. Her slim, dark hands work the braid around and around Godiva’s head in a thick plait. Her own hair is left in a loose natural. She hides her eyes behind black sunglasses with translucent green lenses. It gives her a mysterious air. A tougher look than the bigger, though more delicate seeming, Godiva.]

Godiva: Suicide is painless. That’s wot the song says. I ruddy well agree. Suicide Blondes, we ‘ave a bit of unfinished business with you. You ‘aven’t been popular around this league since forever. Remember the clashes we ‘ad on television, over the airwaves. Remember your cute little Poppy Rage shtick. Oi, we do. Remember shovin’, Lauryn about the place at Madison square Gardens? We do. You know, this Association needs another knock down drag out little tiff to get its juices going again. That’s right what it needs. But you lot want to fool around with Burning Rain? Oh, please. Let’s visit a bit of sense on the world. Let’s get it right, you know? Blondes, I recall neither of us really ever did get the chance to prove which of us was the better team. And now, let’s see, we’ve got that challenge on the table. And you’ve got no date for the prom. Suicide Blondes, let’s settle the question once and for all, eh? Let’s be sports about this.

Lauryn: (weaving through another section of Godiva’s hair. She smiles, her dark, brown-black painted lips forming a grimace.) Baby Jane, Taylor, you can’t just push us around and then flee the scene. I don’t think y’all understand what it means to interfere with the Misfits. We’ve got this stuff sewn up. No doubt. This is our game. And y’all make the, uhm, mistake of taking me light, but you shouldn’t ever make that mistake. We’re two dangerous women. This is our business. And we don’t like nobody messin’ with our business. You two got the biggest name in the game right now. You know, you have the spotlight. But we can’t let you just have the spotlight like that and do nothing else about it. We the assassins of this game, right here. And don’t think we won’t assassinate you. Organized Crime? Don’t y’all know the Italians done got run out of the game a long time ago by the possees and the Columbians. We got this on lock. Tight. Come with your game, girls. Cause we want to see what you have to show us.

Godiva: (purring) Once you put two Rages together on a team that brashness and that swagger can’t ‘elp but come out. Know why, ducks? Cause we’re infinitely superior to you lot. You cheap trash knock-offs better join Shattered Dreams productions, because if you think you’re staying in that number one contenders spot for long, you’re quite mistaken. The favors are done. It isn’t your time any more. No, can’t say that it is. All it is, is time for you to disappear into your celluloid dreams.

Lauryn: We gonna rock your heads to bed. We’ll bake this cake and serve it up to you proper right. And, um, I don’t know who you gonna be cryin’ to when we bust your stuff up. I promise you. No one comes off like us. No one.

Godiva: Say it, dear. Tell them the magic words.

Lauryn: Repeat after me, Blondes. The Misfits are it!

[Fade out]

Rod: ‘We’re going to bake this cake and serve it up to you proper right’? Well, Lauryn’s young, I’m sure she’ll get the hang of the Misfits trash talking, that has been their strongest feature of late.

Razor: Dalbello might be gone as a wrestler, but Godiva’s still there. The New Misfits might have some rocky matches until they hit their groove, but they’ll get there.

Nina: We don’t have word from the Suicide Blondes this week, but their names seem to be on a lot of lips. Let’s hear from Burning Rain!

Burning Rain

[Scene fades in at a Gym, showing a young pretty Hispanic girl slamming away on a heavy bag as a large, heavy set Japanese women holds the bag, egging her on. Both are wearing black sweater suits with a logo on the back, little bits of fire falling onto letters that spell ‘Burning Rain.’]

Gojira: Keep going! You need to work on your punching for this match. If you think facing the Misfits was a brawl, just wait on what the Hyena Queens are like.

Maria: The Misfits we had beat. I wonder if WE can get a cage match to face the Queens. I’ve been missing out on party time training for this match and I have to take that out on someone.

[Both turn to the camera.]

Gojira: Sorry we’ve been so quiet of late. We’ve been in training. Not just for the world title match we have coming up, but also for a match with the Suicide Blondes.

Maria: I can’t BELIEVE the record books show we lost that match! We were not even in the building!

Gojira: Well, it will be the REAL Burning Rain next time, Suicide Blondes. No easy pins. You remember what happened the first time we met. Don’t be surprised when it is Deja vu all over again.

Maria: But The Hyena Queens are our big target. We’ve had one title shot. We’ve been so close to the gold we could taste it. This time there is no turning back.

Gojira: And Idol Team Otanashi. We had a couple of great matches, girls. But that was back when you at least pretended to have some integrity. You’ve found the easy way to several wins now, but you’ve never been able to beat us. Maybe it’s time we showed you that teams can win without cheating like there is no tomorrow.

Maria: Burning Rain is back, babes, and we have an open contract and scores to settle. So if you have the guts, step on up!

[Both take on a fighting stance, fists raised as the scene fades.]

Rod: Nice to have one of the very few true fan favorite teams starting to make ripples again.

Razor: After that embarrassing loss to the Suicide Blondes, I’m amazed they will even show their faces!

Rod: That was not them! It’s perfectly obvious from the tapes. Even the announcers picked up the team looked a little different.

Razor: A little extra padding under the costumes takes care of that. They knew they didn’t have a chance and came up with a cute trick to try to get out of it.

Nina: Ahem! Moving on along, Sierra Browne had thoughts on the recent match with Dementia and Officer Order.

Sierra Browne

[Fade in: “Brown Girl in the Ring” trills over the screen as Sierra Browne, with both championship belts, dances to the beat, both title belts over her shoulders. She’s decked out in a gold sequined minidress and her big gold-framed sunglasses.]

Sierra: I know what you’re thinking out there in TV land. How greedy can this girl get? She has the Great Western Heritage belt, she has the Cruiserweight belt and she risks everything to jump into a triangle match with Officer Order and Dementia Praecox no less. What is she thinking? All that on a sprained ankle. How much gold does this woman need? Doux-doux darlins’ I’ll tell you exactly how much I need. As much as you’ve got. I’m not the type to cry because I didn’t win. If anything I’m overjoyed that Dementia Praecox isn’t walking around as champion right now. And I am. Little Dementia, seems you got busted up but good, girl. That’s a bit of too bad, isn’t it? Well, you know what they say in this biz. “Break a leg, sweetie.” I want you to do that literally. I haven’t finished with you yet. And I haven’t finished my quest yet to unseat the champions of the GDWA. Micki Duran, you know what, in life as in everything else, there’s politics and then there’s real life. Hmmm, it seems our deal fell through. Well, you know what that means. You’ve got to face me at that last card or breach your contract! Now you wouldn’t want to do that, would you? No, I didn’t think you would. You’re a special sort of competitor. And it takes a special sort of competitor to get the job done around here. You took out Bloody Mary pretty easily, but she had a concussion. The End was made for that. You think you can keep up with a greyhound, though? I don’t know. I doubt it. Hmmm, a third shiny belt around my waist? I like the sound of that. We’re coming to the last days of the summer and the summer is where I shine. You’re going to be seeing a Sierra Browne takeover. See, there’s no more trees overshadowing me. No Medusa holding me down. I’ve got the greatest manager in the world. I’ve got two titles because no matter what anybody says I’m just that good. And I’ve got my name and face all over the world regardless of what the Japanese and the rest of the committee for the Transnational Cruiserweight championship want. Don’t think I don’t know you were pulling for little Ms. “wounded knee” Mita. That’s fine with me. You’ve got the hardest hitting little cruiserweight in the biz. Who else has out-brawled Ma Porter? Hmmm? You know, they’ve been saying that I’m the second coming of Sachie Yokoyama. Well, I intend to live fast. But die young? I don’t think so.

Forget Sachie, forget Radhi. I’m the most dominant Great Western Heritage champion of all time at what four months and counting? Five? Who cares because I’m going to keep dominating. I’ve got the highest quality of opposition rating of any champion. I’ve got probably the best recent winning record since I entered the Cruiserweight championship hunt. You can give all your little awards to somebody else. That’s fine with me. I don’t care. I really, really don’t. Because what I’m going to do is come in and make a mockery of you later on. Remember, this is my time. And Officer Order, you still haven’t put me on lock up yet. Think you can? Walk around with your big prize. Just know that I will have my turn at your title eventually and your reign is all but over then. Whoosh, straight to the top, baby. That’s my word.

[Fade out]

Razor: Bold words from the hottest of the Age of Rage. I know it’s just a media tag for that group, but it’s a VERY cool name.

Rod: Get serious. Sierra just rewriting history again. She had her chance at the world title. She came up short. It think it’s ironic Sierra has never won a title without someone there to help.

Nina: The other hot group in the GDWA has been the Syndicate and the most vocal member of that group of late has been ‘The Legend’ Micki Duran. Let’s hear from the Internet Champ!

Micki Duran

(Camera opens on Micki Duran.)

[Micki] Ah, ha, ha…I fooled you. Officer Order is the champ. What do you know about that? I punked that sorry ass fat bloated piece of *censored* Dementia, left her laying on a stretcher, and she’s out for two months. Isn’t that too bad? Well, congratulations, Officer Order. Finally a champ I can respect.

(She smiles.)

In fact, I respect you so much, I’m not even going to ask for a title shot yet. I want you to be able to enjoy your reign for a while. Besides, I’m having way more fun defending the Internet belt. Mary, honey, you put up a good fight, but in the end…well, after THE END…you’re still nothing more than an also-ran. Now it’s Daisy’s turn. Daisy, my friend, I bet you’re expecting me to come out and say a whole bunch of rotten things about you. Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I actually have a lot of respect for you. I’m looking forward to mixing it up with you again. So you should get used to disappointment.

(She puts the Internet belt over her shoulder.)

Now, it seems that I’m under contract to defend at the Moonsault, even though I’m defending every week until then. Doesn’t make sense to me, but then again, nothing this damned league does makes sense to me. Oh, well. No matter. I just seem to be short one opponent. Everyone in the top ten already has a match, and no one below that deserves a title shot. But still the league INSISTS I defend at the Moonsault. I even said I’d participate in the Texas Tornado match if I didn’t have to defend. They’re still insisting I defend. We petitioned the championship committee to suggest an opponent who doesn’t have a match that is worthy of a shot. They couldn’t do it, but insist I defend.

(She shrugs.)

So what’s a girl to do? I guess I’ll just wait it out. Someone want to challenge me here?

(She holds up a picture of Daisy Butterfly.)

If you’re still available, looks like my dance card has opened up.

(She laughs as Daisy’s picture floats out of her hand to the ground.)


Rod: Now that should be a great match! Duran and Daisy have had some classics in the past.

Razor: The PAST being the key word. Daisy has been fading fast of late. I don’t see her having a chance against ‘The Legend’.

Nina: The Syndicate has been on everyone’s lips of late. Don’t believe me, just ask ‘Burning Cherry Blossom’ Rekka Sakura.

Rekka Sakura

[Open camera on Rekka Sakura backstage in the locker room. She is here with Spud McKenzie who stands eagerly by with a microphone]

Spud: Well folks what a tangled twisted web the Syndicate is weaving and they seem to have entangled one GDWA and one GDWA veteran…

Rekka Sakura: [standing impatiently, looking down at the floor]

Spud: Rekka Sakura, Radhi Ananda went to the ring and accepted your challenge of teaming with her to face the Syndicate… You and Radhi have a past together Rekka, can this partnership work?

Rekka Sakura: So now the Samurai and Savage, who before tried to destroy each other, are now allies… I care not which members of the Syndicate step through the ropes to meet us at Moonsault. I, like a samurai riding off to battle, do not consider defeat an option…

Spud: Rekka the match isn’t signed but everyone is positive that you and Radhi don’t have a chance in this match because of what happened back in February, I mean the anger you to share towards each other…

Rekka Sakura: February was a long time ago… I was a young foolish child not thinking of what I was getting myself into… I paid for my actions by getting legdropped through a table by Radhi, but looking back they play no part in our proposed teaming… For we are individuals with a purpose, we are the warriors who fight a fight of purity and justice…

Spud: well a lot of people are saying it’s just a fight of stupidity, I mean 2 women v. the entire syndicate? Your odds aren’t too good Rekka…

Rekka Sakura: The odds have been worse… I am tired of these gang beatings by the Syndicate. I grow weary of taunts of the Chandler sisters and their obnoxious tag-alongs Sally McClane and Micki Duran… I HAVE SOUGHT JUSTICE ON MY OWN AND WAS BEATEN LIKE A DOG!! [Her eyes narrow and voice drop] As a child my father taught me that when one wrongs you in the wrestling ring honor for those who wish to have a career with no future. My father was a wise man for now I know that there is strength in numbers… THAT TO TOPPLE AN ARMY ONE MUST FIRST FORM ONE’S OWN BATTALION!! [Her manner switched to calm and relax] Well the first rank of the Battalion is formed and Rekka Sakura and Radhi Ananda march forth to meet the opposing force without fear or regret…

Spud: So you and Rekka will team for Moonsault? But what if the Syndicate refuses your challenge?

Rekka Sakura: Then they are EXACTLY the cowards I know and the fans know them to be!! Texas Tornado rules means that like the power of a typhoon Rekka and Radhi will strike the ring and then and only then will the Syndicate know the wrath they have incurred from!! RADHI TAKE MY HAND SO I MAY CALL YOU… partner…

Spud: Well there it is folks, Rekka Sakura WILL Team with “Jungle” Radhi Ananda at the Moonsault but will the Syndicate accept the challenge? We’ll know soon…

[Fade out]

Razor: Now THAT is a weird team. I can’t even imagine the wild Radhi tag teaming with anyone, let alone Rekka Sakura.

Rod: And will the Syndicate accept the challenge? Andrea and Micki are both busy, but maybe Tiffany Chandler and Sexy Sally…now THAT would be a weird team also, since they fought in the ring not so long ago.

Nina: Another woman who has the Syndicate, and much more on her mind is evidently “Golden Eagle” Chelsea Vanderbilt, or so her manager seems to suggest.

Chelsea Vandervilt

[Q.Q. Ellis sits at his desk.]

ELLIS: Howdy, sports fans! Q.Q. Ellis here. It appears that we are now in like Flynn; Chelsea is 1 and 0 and counting upward. You gotta love it.

And I must say that my first GDWA experience was a hell of an experience as well. Coming out and getting booed mercilessly by the Dawg Pound…you gotta love the GDWA purists. I respect that. And the solid pop that I heard after Chelsea got the 3-count made me think that we are fairly well-respected now as well.

First, I come in trying to piss off the Syndicate. Now I’ve got Organized Crime on my back as well. But that’s OK. I’m not going anywhere. And to Nikita Marx, if you thought that whacking Chelsea and me with a chain was going to make things even, then you’re sadly mistaken. The official score sheet still sees Chelsea with a ‘W’. And the rest of it comes down to something I have said many times in the ESWP:

I don’t get mad, and I don’t have to get even, because I am already WAY ahead of you!

Once you understand that, you’ll have a better shot at Chelsea. Or if you’re smart, you’ll cut your losses and get out of the way while the proverbial “unstoppable force” passes through. But you’re always welcome to try again…if you like.

With that said, we’ll see y’all at the Moonsault…if not sooner!

[Fade out.]

Razor: Heh, that’s a manager all right. ‘We’ have OC after us. Reminds me of that old time boxing promoter who used to say ‘We’ won that match, but when his guy lost it was HE lost.

Rod: I think the Golden Eagle showed a lot in her one match. Hopefully we can see more of her soon.

Nina: And in other big news. There has been a lot of controversy brewing in the GDWA. So a couple top GDWA officials held a press conference to dispel the rumors.

Press Conference

(Camera opens up to a live feed at the grand auditorium of the Holiday Inn deluxe in Berkley, California. A broad oak table with a several microphones and an elaborate decor of green, reds and blacks decorate the conference. Flash bulbs fire off constantly as an African American man and a Filipino woman sit side between a podium. A Caucasian male stands firmly, checking the microphone, and small talking with several sheet writers and journalists. )

Whalen: Are we ready Mr. President, Madame Vice?

De La Cruz: Oh come on Mike! What’s up with the formalities?

Vessey: Go on Mr. Whalen.

Whalen: Okay, let’s get started. To all of the fans of the sports world and in particular, those of the Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance. I’m Mike Whalen, your moderator for this press conference just a month prior to our Fall Moonsault ’97 pay per view. Here to address your questions and concerns are Alison De La Cruz and Denmark Vessey…

(Whalen is jerking with his collar as he gestures toward his left.)

Whalen: Ms. De La Cruz is our GDWA Vice President as well as our International Relations Coordinator.

(Alison waves at a few in the audience while Mike gestures to his left.)

Whalen: And of course, this prestigious gentleman to my right is none other than THE BOSS…

(Laughter echoes through the audience as Vessey cracks a smile.)

Whalen: This is our President of the GDWA, Mr. Denmark Vessey. First, before you pose any Q&A, Alison and Denmark wanted to address some issues.

(Alison stands, dressed in her red and black skirt, heels and blouse. The GDWA logo stands prominently behind her voluptuous 6 foot frame.)

De La Cruz: Okay, first I wish to set aside all of the rumors regarding the GDWA Transnational Cruiserweight Championship. After last Tuesday Night’s championship bout, Vessey, myself and several prominent promoters met and spoke late into the night. The Japanese contingent of the championship committee had great concerns regarding our Transnational Cruiserweight Championship….

(Several in the press box shift as Alison looks about the room.)

De La Cruz: One of the referees for that Triple Threat bout for the Cruiserweight Title and the World title as you know was assigned by this Japanese contingent to assure an ATHLETIC and COMPETITIVE competition. At one point in the bout, he was incapacitated and one of our ref’s on duty took over the bout…a discrepancy came about at the end of the match. The presiding referee ruled that Sierra Browne submitted to the Figure Four Leg Lock, and was set to award Officer May Order the Cruiserweight Championship….the first referee believed Sierra Browne to be disqualified earlier in the bout for unruly and unsportsmanlike conduct….as a result, Sierra Browne retains the Cruiserweight title though she lost the bout by disqualification.

(Alison takes a deep breath and looks over at Denmark Vessey.)

De La Cruz: I left for Tokyo on Wednesday morning and negotiated with the Japanese contingent regarding Sierra Browne. They find her unfitting to represent the Cruiserweight Championship; a belt that was to signify all that was most athletic in the GDWA. We held that, although she isn’t exactly a sterling role model, she has been a fighting champion and won that title enduring a grueling tournament. Needless to say, the art of politics is compromise. So….

(She looks at Vessey once again, then solemnly speaks out into the audience.)

De La Cruz: All Cruiserweight match ups will be ruled under a 20 count out rule….title may switch hands on disqualification now, and outside interference is eligible for a rematch.

(Mixed response from the crowd as Alison speaks calmly.)

De La Cruz: My apologies to Sierra Browne for this rather crude and impersonal manner of notification. Now, and ques…

(Dozens of hands shoot up as President Denmark Vessey gets to his feet.)

Whalen: Okay, one at a time….Mr. Madden?

Madden: Is it true that the damn Asian contingent wishes to break off from the GDWA?

Vessey: Relations have been strained, but Alison has done a fine job of quashing any friction….yes sir?

De La Cruz: Hi, I’m Marcie De La Cruz with the Pomona 4 Corners. Is it true that the All Japan title will be the equal to the GDWA Internet title?

De La Cruz: I’ll answer this one…and how ya doing sis?!…Anyway, the GDWA is the MOTHER fed of Women’s wrestling. The All Japan title of Cherry Bomb Pro Wrestling isn’t even the EQUAL of the GDWA Internet title as far as the front offices are concerned. As a matter of fact, we would love for Micki Duran and Officer Order to make some promotional and exhibitionary appearances to Cherry Bomb…next?

Whalen: Er, sir, what is your name?

Man: Al, just call me Al.

Whale: You’re the man they call Al?

Man: Yeah, and I have the SCOOPS…anyway, what of the GDWA Ironwoman Square Dance tournament. With Officer Order as the new champion, how does this affect the World Title situation? It would seem problematic unless she goes undefeated throughout the tournament.

Vessey: As stipulated in her contract, Double O must grant a title shot to ANY GDWA Superstar that defeats her in a non-title bout. She has been well informed of this and is preparing accordingly.

De La Cruz: At this moment, I would like to extend a congratulatory hug to Double O from a few miles away. San Francisco is about 30 minutes from here, and Double O, I hope your listening because I love and admire your charm, sportsmanship and work ethic…you go girl! Wooohoo!!

Al: And what of this relationship with the ESWP?

Vessey: We are pleased to have some of their combatants in Grand Dragon. As we expand and evolve as an organization, cross promotional efforts are inevitable. Already, Ma Porter and Sally McClane have been promised title shots at the ESWP’s Women’s television title. We welcome them and the quality of athlete to contribute to our ranks.

Whalen: Last question!

Blade: Yes, I have a question. Sonya Blade as you all know from the GDWA hotline news! Denmark, Alison, I’m one of those dissenters who frowned upon the Cruiserweight titles relationship to those hard line, conservative members of the Eastern Championship committee. My question is, what happens if the relationship worsens? What happens if they disapprove of our Cruiserweight Champion again? Who is muscling whom?

Vessey: Many on the Cherry Bomb Pro Wrestling executive board have influenced and political clout on the GDWA championship committee. They bring an….appreciation to American wrestling that has been viewed as arrogant and self-serving. Our misunderstanding will be smoothed over in the coming weeks, and the consequences of your speculations won’t ever have to be addressed….that’s all!

(Reporters shoot up from their seats as Mike Whalen attempts to quell their calls. Alison looks out at Vessey, concernedly, as he and other GDWA top brass leave the press conference.)

Rod: some very interesting comments. Quite honestly, it makes the situation with the Japanese promoters seem worse than was thought. Hopefully we’re not seeing the beginning of some type of hostile takeover.

Razor: Being involved with both organizations, I can say the upcoming weeks should be very interesting indeed. And, for the record, the Cherry Bomb title is ‘Super-Japan’.

Rod: It’s nice to see things with ESWA are still going smoothly at least. I’m sure we’ll hear soon how Ma Porter and Sally do.

Razor: As for the cruiser champ, don’t let them dog you, Sierra. They are just talk, you are doing great!

Rod: So much for impartiality…

Nina: Moving along…next up we have..a very weird tag team, coming to the GDWA. Let’s see what the Chinese Government has to say about the..Battling Beauties from Beijing.

The following is the first of two video tapes shipped to the GDWA main offices in a package postmarked “People’s Sports Ministry—Department of Public Education, Beijing, People’s Republic of China.”

Battling Beauties from Beijing

(Scene: A brightly light gymnasium. A western male reporter is in the foreground; in the background two women wearing practice uniforms of red satin short-shorts and tank tops are sparring and practicing jumps within a ring.)

Reporter: This is Chad Bostwick, on location in Beijing, China. The GDWA is taking the world by storm and I’m here to report on the latest typhoon to blow in from the Far East—The Battling Beauties from Beijing.

You’ve heard of ping-pong diplomacy? Well this is body-slam diplomacy–the bamboo curtain has come down on Red China baby, and the Battling Beauties from Beijing are ready to ruuuuuuumble!

Folks, their names are Chen Wu and Xing Ma. And don’t mistake these two comely communistic cuties for any Japanese women wrestlers you’ve seen. The B.B.F.B.ers have been strictly trained by their government through the Sports Ministry and the People Liberation Army with a single goal: winning the World Tag Team Championship within a year. No ifs, ands, or buts!

(Camera pulls back to show a Chinese women in her mid-twenties standing beside the reporter.)

Reporter: With me is Commander Li Duc Pang, a lieutenant in the P.L.A. Commander Pang acts as the girls’ trainer, interpreter, mentor, and party-approved chaperone.

(Camera slowly zooms in on Pang. She is wearing the Red Chinese People’s Liberation Army female summer uniform—a green military shirt with a red collar and red epaulets on the shoulders, an elastic belt around her thin waist with a small brass buckle and several small canvas pouches on her hips, a pair of quite snug-fitting, khaki cuffed short-shorts with a single snapping pocket, and a pair of highly polished jet black jackboots that come nearly to her knee. She has long jet black hair, but it is pulled back in a severe ponytail, she wears no makeup, and her heart-shaped face looks a bit stern.)

Reporter: I understand the Battling Beauties from Beijing will be traveling the USA in just a week.

Commander Pang: Yes. This is exciting news! We are very happy to enter this international sporting event—our first ‘tune up’ fight will soon be with two American girls, Wran and Frenk.

Reporter: That would be ‘Wren and Frank.’

Commander Pang (eyes narrowing, but a small knowing smile on her face): Ah, whichever. Is of no concern to us.

Reporter (turning to the camera): Let me give our audience a quick run-down on the Battling Beauties from Beijing, so our audience can tell who’s who on this up and coming Red Chinese team. Chen Wu is 20 years old… 5′ 4″ 108 lbs.… wears her hair in a single ponytail. Not as experienced a fighter as her older partner, Xing Ma–but extremely smart, dedicated, lightning fast on her feet, outstanding athletic abilities, an accomplished nearly Olympic-caliber gymnast and diver.

Commander Pang: Yes. If she not compete in GDWA she would training for Olympics right now.

Reporter: I understand that she was instructed by the party officials to make the switch.

Commander Pang: No. It was her choice. Everyone has complete freedom.

Reporter: I see. In any case… Western audiences will have a real treat watching this Red Chinese girl apply those high-flying gymnastic skills in the ring! Under Pang’s tutelage Chen Wu has studied martial arts for two years. And I’m sure the male fans of the GWDA will love her model-like, exotic good looks! Slender build, slightly swaybacked, on the league’s “babe-o-meter, okay if you like girls with big chests she won’t be your type—but I gotta tell ya, this Chen Wu is blessed with a the cutest butt in the GWDA!

Commander Pang (frowning): I think your description is most unusual! Comrade Wu will fight and defeat her opponents with no problem! She knows what she must do! Her looks had nothing to do with her selection on Team china!

Reporter: Ah ha. As for the second half of the tag team… If “Comrade Wu” is the “sweet” in this duo, Xing Ma is the “sour”!! Xing Ma is 26, about two inches shorter and 15 pounds stockier, with a shorter “rice bowl” haircut. She’s the nasty, puggish, tough one of this duo–and has been instructed to make sure Wu doesn’t get in over her head in their first few matches.

Commander Pang (icy cold): Who gave you such information? Comrade Wu can defend herself! Why you so negative about her skills?

Reporter (continuing over Pang’s protest): But there’s little doubt that Xing Ma is one tough fortune cookie who can dish it out with the best of the GWDA! I’ve found out that she’s a former prison gulag guard, a former PLA boxing champ for both men AND women, skilled in wrestling and all martial arts from judo to kung fu. This stocky little Chinese dynamo can deliver knock-em-cold blows with both fists… both feet, elbows, head butts, you name it! Plus I understand that both her and Chen Wu have some tricks up their sleeves—or the pockets of their shorts—thanks to Commander Pang! I understand that Xing Ma is also expert in the art of pressure points—her monkey claw grip can….

Commander Pang (her face brimming with anger): That is state classified secret! No videotaping! Interview is over!

(The camera starts to jostle a bit—a hand with long fingernails covers the lens partially. There is excited talking in Chinese—the two Chinese girls in the ring look on, then come obediently running over toward the camera to see what is happening.)

Reporter: Hey! Watch it. Ever hear about the First Amendment honey? I want to ask you more about allegations of cheating. That Xing Ma has been using political prisoners as sparring partners. About…

Commander Pang: Lies! Lies from the western press! We do not need to cheat to defeat fat, slow, unskilled Americans…

(Commander Pang turns tail, and the camera shows the Red Chinese woman as she strides out of the room.)

Reporter: Assuming I don’t get arrested, in part two we’ll interview the Battling Beauties from Beijing with our OWN interpreter and take a look at the controversial training practices of the Red Chinese squad ……. Hey, get away from my power plug!

(Screen goes black)

Rod: That was..a very weird interview. I can’t imagine the GDWA allowing in a team from a nation with such an awful human rights record. I can’t imagine what they will be like in the ring.

Razor: I’m not sure about them. It’s just me, but I can’t imagine the Chinese government, notorious for the boring names they assign to everything, coming up with a team named ‘The Battling Beauties from Beijing.’

Nina: Well, picking up with a classic in the GDWA. Medusa Rage has been one of the most outspoken figures in wrestling for some time. Let’s see what she has to say!

Medusa Rage

[Fade in: Toronto, Canada. The streets are jammed with people, an overwhelming majority of them Black of Caribbean descent. It’s Caribana, the Canadian Carnival. Shiny rented Benzes, Lexus and Beamers crawl down the knotted streets at two miles an hour so everyone can see the shine and the men and women inside, dressed in their finest. Everyone looks their best, freshly barbered, new clothes, cars washed and polished. Everybody’s shoes shine. Beats pump through the air. The cameras find their way through the mass of people into the City TV “environment” on Queen Street West. Medusa Rage sits outside the station in the sun with her brother Shadoe and a City TV interviewer. Medusa sits in blood red hip huggers, tight around the thighs and seat, but flaring slightly at the feet. Her matching platform mules gleam with polish. Her locks are tied back and hidden under a blood red gele wrap. She wears oval jet black sunglasses. A crosstie royal blue blouse exposes some hint of cleavage and the muscular planes of her chest as well as her flat, rippling abdomen. She attracts no small number of stares as people spot her. They wave and jump in the camera shot. Medusa responds to each of them with a hiss and a kiss. Her mocha-colored skin just shines with good health. Shadoe Rage sprawls next to her. He attracts even more looks, more frantic waves and shouts from the passersby in their cars. One woman screams “Shadoe, I love you.” Kids flock around the duo and stare, whispering and shyly asking for autographs. Medusa and Shadoe oblige them all. Shadoe is decked out in a purple fishnet tank top and wide-legged black pants that swirl around his shining black boots. He has his hair tied back in a matching purple scarf which falls down his shoulder like a scarf. He wears flamboyantly purple sunglasses too shaped like hexagons. And he tops the outfit in a cream silk duster jacket. He is quite a sight to behold. The City TV reporter, a picture perfect bottle blonde with intense and patently fake green eyes takes in the crowd reaction before signaling to the TV cameras to start rolling.]

Reporter: I’m Christine Grice coming to you live, Toronto, from City TV. It’s my pleasure today to bring you what may be two of Canada’s hottest athletic products, Shadoe and Medusa Rage, who I think are to the East Coast what the Harts are to Calgary and the Vachons are to Quebec.

Shadoe: Institutions, baby. Institutions.

Christine: So what brings you to Toronto? Is there some secret training going on for that upcoming Fall Moonsault pay-per-view?

Medusa: (shrugging) No secret training. I’ve got my schedule down. Three hours a day in the gym and another three in the ring. That’s it. I do my strength work and my cardio training. I’m ready to go now. It’s the mental game that’s been where I’ve had to do the most work.

Christine: You mean like Hulking up?

Medusa: (rolling her eyes and sucking her teeth) No, I mean like getting ready to compete again after three weeks off and getting my head prepared to compete in Canada. I’ve never wrestled before an audience in Canada. This’ll be a pretty tough test.

Christine: For those of you who don’t know, Medusa Rage is currently one of the top contenders for the GDWA, an American-based women’s wrestling promotion. What’s it like south of the border?

Medusa: (shrugging) All right. It’s not like Canada. The people aren’t as polite, but I haven’t felt the need to go on any anti-American rants. At least not until it comes time for me to pay my taxes. I’ve got to pay them in both countries. It isn’t pretty. There isn’t much left over for me.

Shadoe: Not if you insist on buying two pairs of shoes every day.

Medusa: Look who’s talking, Mr. “I need more fuchsia.”

Shadoe: I make more than you.

[Both laugh jovially as Medusa tries to put Shadoe in a headlock and grind his ears.]

Christine: You two seem to share a great relationship. There’s a real family thing among the Rages, isn’t there? How do you describe how it works? There are what nine of you, all in the business, too, right?

Medusa: (nodding) Yeah, it’s a big family. It’s only Mantha that doesn’t actually get in the ring. She works behind the scenes in promotions. She also watches the money for us.

Christine: Really? How does that work?

Shadoe: We all put back some of our income into the family pot. Startup trust funds, retirement plans, investment portfolios and such for the people. That’s what we’ve got to do if we ever intend to get ahead in this business. It doesn’t matter how many millions you earn as an athlete, the boss man is earning fifty times more than he’s willing to pay you. Figure, you got an organization spending 11 million in salary, right. You think he’s breaking even? Hell no. If he’s smart he’s earning somewhere like a hundred million from the business. If he stupid then maybe, but there ain’t any stupid promoters in wrestling. Inept, maybe. But they always gonna get the percentage of the gate. Always.

Medusa: That’s what killed our father. He couldn’t work anymore. There’s no wrestlers’ pension fund or anything like that. What you don’t have you don’t have when it’s all done. We decided a long time ago not to go that route.

Christine: So who’s the most successful of you all?

Shadoe and Medusa: (Together) Dalbello. She’s been at it longest. She’s won the most titles.

Christine: But you’re the most famous, aren’t you, Shadoe? It seems everybody’s buzzing on the streets about you.

Shadoe: They’re probably wondering where Derek is and Pizzazz. I may be the most flamboyant one in the family — Well, except when ‘diva gets into one of her ‘I don’t want to wear clothes in public’ phases — but I’m part of a team and I never forget that part of the concept. Derek’s a 7’2, 325lber.  The ladies just love him. I won’t lie. He’s got some suits that are just spectacular. He’s got to be the smoothest.

Medusa: But the Prophets of Rage as a team have the highest profile in the world today. They’re known wrestling commodities and they put bodies in the seats.

Christine: So this really is a business? I look at some of the matches I see you guys in and I think, this can’t be really happening. These guys must be play acting. They’re killing each other!

Medusa: Sometimes we’re really trying, believe me. Usually, though, the bumps and bruises are delivered in good spirit. Usually.

Christine: You’re suspended now. You come back to the ring for a … Survivors Series … match or something? What is that?

Medusa: It’s five women on one team another five women on the other. We fight each other one-on-one until all five members of one side get pinned.

Christine: And which side are you on?

Medusa: (dead serious) The winning side.

Christine: (chuckling) They told me you were confident. So then it’s here to Toronto for the Fall Moonsault. You’re in some other kind of tournament, right? What’s it ‘Ironwoman’?

Medusa: That’s it exactly. I face off against three top Grand Dragon competitors in one night. You get points for beating your opponents. Whoever has the most points at the end of the night wins.

Christine: And will you win this one, too?

Medusa: Most definitely. I’m in my country now. I’m competing in front of Canadians. How can I lose? I need as many people out there as possible to come out and support me.

Shadoe: Shameless plug number one. Yeah, call the hotline and buy your tickets. This is the liveliest event of the year. I promise you. Cross my heart and hope to die.

Christine: So who are your opponents?

Medusa: The current World Champion, Officer May Order, the former World Champion, Andrea Chandler and Lady Tiger.

Christine: Sounds like a tough field. You said champion quite a bit. You’ve never won a title yourself, have you?

Medusa: I’ve never won a singles title, no. I’ve had tag-team success. But this time I’m going for that individual glory.

Christine: So give us casual fans out there a little hint as to what we might see. I can’t picture it myself.

Medusa: You’re going to see me, Medusa Rage, compete hard and do whatever it takes to win within the rules. You’re going to see action non-stop from the opening match to the final card. There’s going to be surprises, there’s going to be shocks. Wrestling is an up and down business. You’ll never know what you’re going to get. So come on down and enjoy the experience this September. And if you can’t get down there watch it on pay-per-view.

 It won’t be as exciting as seeing me live, but it will be just as much fun. I promise you that. You’ll probably see a couple new champions. You’ll probably see a lot of betrayals. And you’ll definitely see me waving the flag at the end of the night.

Christine: That’s great. That really sounds like fun. Well, Medusa, I wish you all the success in the world and I guess you’re off to your workout now?

Medusa: Naw, it’s Caribana! I’m off to party now! Cause it’s the last chance. I have to be good after this. So I want to pack in as much pleasure as I can get. Hugs and hisses, Chrissie. C’mon, Shadoe, let’s see turn this city out.

[Fade out]

Rod: Medusa Rage, claiming she’s now going to win within the rules. Let’s see who is fooled by her this time. No matter how much the Age of Rage protests otherwise, they have been the main group using outside interference in matches.

Razor: But how many of Medusa’s matches have had that? She wrestled clean against Order. She deserves some credit here, give her a chance.

Nina: Well, one newcomer with Medusa and others on her mind is ‘Jumping’ Jennifer Grier.

Jennifer Grier

[The scene: Beautiful Geneseo, Illinois. Kids are playing, birds are chirping, and there is a group of people around a bench. They are reporters, speaking to the “talk of the town” Jennifer Grier. Jennifer is in a pair of sweats, and her favorite GDWA tank top, covering her white sports bra. She seems to have just got finished with her daily run. She doesn’t seem thrilled to talk to the reporters, but manages to force a smile.]

Reporter: ..about your 2 and 4 record?

Grier: I’ve told you. I work as hard as I can. I don’t really think my record reflects my effort.

Reporter2: What about your upcoming match?

Grier: Which match?

Reporter2: You haven’t heard? You’re up against Sierra Browne at the Moonsault. For the Cruiserweight Belt.

Grier: Wow. I got the match. I gotta go..

[Jennifer gets up to leave]

Reporter: Wait! Wait! One more question before you leave.

Grier: What?

Reporter: There are reports that Dalbello Rage offered you assistance almost a month ago. What are your comments on the Rage family, or your status with the Rages?

[Jennifer sits back down, and sighs]

Grier: Listen. She offered her services as a manager. That’s something I have to think long and hard about. But I already have a manager. Rob Tucker has done just fine with me, turning me into a winner in the GDWA.

Reporter3: But you stand at 2-4. How can you call yourself a winner?

Grier: I’m doing what I wanted to do every time I get in that ring. I walk in, I fight my heart out, and no matter what the results are, I’ve NEVER backed down in my life.. now, if you’ll excuse me….

[Jennifer sits up, and walks away from the reporters. As she gets out of their view, she turns around.]

Grier: So, Browne. I get the honor of wrestling the first two-title holder in the GDWA. Good. Now, let me tell you something. I’m not a slacker like you think. I’m giving you good advice, just this one time. Don’t look at my record, and think you are keeping your title. I’ve waited all my life to see this happen, my first title shot. No one, not Bloody Mary, not anyone, is going to keep my from my dream. I’ll do anything to get that gold.. anything. You better keep your head up, because there’s no telling what is going to happen between now and the time the Moonsault arrives.. but you better be there, cause I’ll be waiting for you.

Razor: And the kid bites off more than she can chew once again. She’ll have no chance against Sierra.

Rod: Jennifer has been working hard to turn things around in the GDWA. I think she’ll surprise a few people before this is over. And I’m glad she turned down Medusa. The fans can always use women they can respect.

Nina: Jennifer is thinking of Sierra, but what’s on the mind of the first two title holder in the history of the GDWA? Let’s take a peek…

Sierra Browne

[Fade in: The Southern Cross fills the screen. The bright orange of the “Stars and Bars” glows hotly on the screen as the flag dances slightly. Suddenly the flag gets crumpled into a ball. Sierra Browne twists and wrings it and throws it to the ground, stomping it and spitting on it.]

Sierra: (looking up and smiling wickedly) Savannah Charles, that’s to you and your southern pride. You don’t think I know what that means? You don’t think I know everything this flag stands for? Maybe you should learn a lesson about the atrocities visited by this flag. Who knows, maybe you’d like to wear swastikas to the ring, too. (Thinking about it) Naw, that probably isn’t you, is it, corn pone? No, you’re too stupid to make such a political statement. I watched you work that Hooters restaurant spot and girl, I was embarrassed for you. What’s next? Trailer parks? Oh, did I mean to go there. Yes, I did. Yes, we all know what being raised in the South means, Savannah. And we all know the myths about its gentility and we all the truth about how it was built. On the backs of Indians and slaves.

 You know, some of Indigo must be rubbing off on me, because up until now, I really didn’t give two good damns about you, Charles. Or that pathetic flag you respect. But then I watched and I looked at that Hooters spot and I wondered. That’s what you enslaved people for? That’s the legacy of the great south? Cheap trash? And you know something, Savannah. That’s exactly what you are. Bring your thick country body into the ring with me. Let’s see what it is you can do. I know you’re strong, but you can’t even think your way through a match with Jennifer Grier. I mean, damn, Jennifer Grier. Charles, I’m giving you a chance of a lifetime. I’m coming to elevate your game. Look, you’ve been recognized by a real competitor. You’re going to get beaten by a real competitor. You’re gonna run home to your mammy and say “Mammy, I got beaten up today.” And you know what she’ll say. She’ll “Chile, you done been learned a lesson by the best wrassler out there t’day I reckon. Weren’t nuthin’ that could save yo ass from a tannin’, yessiree.” Then she’ll spit out her last tooth. When I think of all the decent things that come out of the South I’m appalled that you made it out here, Charles. I guess busty blondes just do get recognized in this business. Well, I’ll give you recognition. I’ll recognize your throat with my elbow. Get in the ring, Savannah, and I’ll make all 194lbs of you ache. I promise.

[Fade out]

Rod: That’s a surprise. Sierra is challenging Savannah Charles?!

Razor: I don’t think it’s surprising. Savannah wears the confederate flag into the ring. She talked about that in her first interview, but I knew there was going to be trouble. But Savannah’s a BIG woman. You can’t take her lightly, trust me, I know.

Nina: And that’s as much as I need to know. The GDWA wrestler of the month recently had surgery done on her knee, after months of wrestling injured. Let’s hear from the Kyoto Crippler, Keiko Mita!

Keiko Mita

[Scene fades in showing a medical looking room. Keiko Mita is on one of those benches doctors use for examinations. She’s wears shorts and a t-shirt, her knee is wrapped up.]

Keiko: Well, THAT was fun. But at least it’s over. They’ve done the work my knee needed and I’m told I’ll be one hundred percent for the Fall Moonsault. I’ll still be wearing a knee brace just to be safe…kinda ironic in this sport. Very little is safe about it. Gang attacks…foreign objects. And speaking of that….Bloody Mary….

[Keiko’s voice drops to an icy whisper as she glares at the camera.]

Keiko: So, you figured you would try to help Sierra win that match. How…nice of you. Some grudges just never go away, hm? Well, THIS one will. I’m sick of all the outside interference. It’s cost me all three of my losses. The NEW Dragon Trio is going to be covering my back..have no doubts on that, but I still want my own shot at you girl.

Keiko: I challenged you to a hair v. hair match at Moonsault. Do you know why? It’s nothing about vanity. It’s about honor. When a samurai retires, her head is shaved. When a sumo wrestler retires, the top knot he wears is cut off. This is not a retirement match, but I want you to know, every time you look in the mirror, that I BEAT you. No excuses…no whining.

[Keiko takes a deep breath, calming, but only a little.]

Keiko: As for the Syndicate, I have no clue why they popped out. Anyone who thinks I would join them has been watching the Monday Night Wars too long. Why would I join a group that has cost me matches and attacked me from surprise? No..the only group I’m in is the Dragon Trio, so I’ll just assume they had their own agenda. Tiffany Chandler says I’m on her list. Well, ‘Brilliant’, you are on my HIT list. I had you down and out in our first match, next time it will just be you and me. No one to help.

[Keiko leans back on the bench a little.]

Keiko: Don’t think I’ve forgotten you..or those titles Sierra Browne. We finally met in the ring. The match lived up to the Hype. And for all your talk, when it came down to it, you needed Bloody Mary there for a distraction and Dalbello there to win. You talk about being a fighting champion, so I’m sure getting a rematch will be no trouble, right? Just you and me, truly one on one. Oh, don’t expect me to take your word on that. I can take my own measures to make sure you don’t get help. I trusted you once, that’s all you get.

Keiko: Finally, thanks to all my fans for the get well cards. It’s been a very pleasant surprise the way the fans have been reacting to my quest for honor. Just hang on, because once I’m back the ride gets even wilder.

[Keiko grins at the camera as the scene fades.]

Rod: Bad blood still brewing there between the intense Mita and Bloody Mary. Let alone Tiffany and Sierra.

Razor: I’ve heard rumors a match has been signed between Mita and Bloody Mary at Fall Moonsault. We’ll have to wait on details about stipulations though. Sooner or later there will be a decisive winner between those two.

Nina: Our last tag team of the night has been having a rough time since they became the NEW Browne Girls. Let’s from Indigo and Marissa!

The New Browne Girls

[Fade in:

The Brown Girls stare into the camera very intensely. Marissa looms over Indigo. Neither one of them looks remotely happy at the turn of events of their last match.]

Marissa: That was just a fiasco in every sense of the word. Double Otonashis, I don’t know what happened out there, but that match was a travesty. You got a lucky one in against us. But I promise you, Kasumi and Kurumi, you won’t get that lucky again. I don’t know what’s been going on around the GDWA lately, but they’re thinking that the Brown Girls must be everybody’s little kick toy or something. I mean what was Medusa doing there when she was on suspension? We didn’t know she was going to be out there.  She didn’t want to go out, but some promoter forces her through the curtains. We got totally thrown off our game plan. Listen, you don’t do this to a team before they gear up to go into the biggest set of matches of their careers. I guess you must figure we’re still rookies or something. But we’re not and we’re just not having it.

Indigo: You know, the GDWA spends its time musing about why it doesn’t have any honorable competitors any more. You wondered why the Browne Girls were still the most popular tag-team even after they broke up. It’s because you don’t foster an environment for wrestlers to want to stick to the rules. You screw over the people who want to toe the line and do it right, rewarding folks like the Otonashis, the Hyena Queens and the Suicide Blondes. You think we’re just going to take that lying down? No. You think we’re going to start picking up bats and swinging them to take the easy way out? No, we’re not going to do that, either. What we are going to do is continue to show you exactly what quality tag-team competition is. We know that there are only a handful of teams out there on our level. The rest are still learning. This loss against the Otonashis? A minor setback. We’ll get it back at the next card.

Marissa: You better believe we’ll get it back. See, I’ve been wrestling too “small” these weeks and days. I’m 6’5, 175lbs, the tallest woman in the GDWA. Indigo and I have been teleconferencing with Medusa and she’s been chastising me about it. I’ve got it in my head now. You’re going to have to deal with a focused Marissa now. I don’t know if you really can do that. It’s like basketball, I’ve got my confidence up. Indigo has always had hers and we’re prepared to rock heads now.

Indigo: Otonashis, we’re coming back to settle the score and put everything to rights again. Then it’s off to Fall Moonsault and Allison Wren and Monica Frank. Girls, you seem new to the GDWA. And even though you say you’ve been competing in other places together this is a special atmosphere. I hope you can go because we want to show the world something spectacular. Tag-teaming is our art and our specialty. And it’s time we took our respect in the ring. I know the new thing in wrestling now is to be loud, rude and crude. It’s to flip people off, curse at them and back jump everybody. That’s all that seems to be appreciated. Even Sierra lost her head to it. You won’t see the Brown Girls stumble like that.

Marissa: Hell no. We came here to be role models. We came to show the world what true competition is like. So, we’re going to show it to you again. We’re going to send a message out to the world.

Indigo: And we’re going to definitely go after the Hyena Queens. Those African Dawgs have been hogging the spotlight too much and doing nothing with it. The GDWA needs class in its champions. It needs dignity to be brought back to the belts. It needs respect. And respect is exactly what we have. Respect is the only thing we want.

Marissa: Next Catfight, you’ll see exactly what respect is all about. We got next.

Indigo: And Kasumi, you’ll see exactly what we mean. And I hope you understand what you left behind when you turned your back on wrestling right. Maybe you’ll go back to it when you see us show that through hard work and sacrifice, not only will you win, but you’ll enjoy it for a long time.

[Fade out]

Rod: I was as surprised as anyone that Idol Team Otanashi won. They have really turned around their record since going bad.

Razor: Expect a rough, brutal match. And expect the Browne Girls to win the rematch, if there is one. They know who they are facing now, not the old Double Otanashi, but the new, nasty Idol Team.

Nina: Well, that’s it for tonight. Have a great night everyone and see you after the matches!


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