Big Ma Porter is in the featured match of this edition of Saturday Nite Special as she takes on a GDWA Legend in Lanny Manson.
The OWA Network shows this program as completely as possible. Due to technical difficulties, some portions of this broadcast may not be available.
(The scene is one of Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance studios located in Tacoma, Washington. Two men are sitting behind a desk with a monitor in the back. The lights start to come up, and “Atomic Dog” by Parliament–the GDWA theme music–begins to play.)
Bishop: Hi fans, we’re bringing you a special edition of the Saturday Nite Special! Wow, can you believe we’ve had our one year anniversary already?
Mutt: As far as I’m concerned time has flown by. We’ve had 3 World’s Champs, 4 Internet Champions, and 3 Western Heritage Champions. Man, that’s saying something!
Bishop: The competition has been hot since day one. Fans, we realize that Founder’s Day Tradition is a little more than 2 weeks away. Emanating from the Municipal Stadium in Cleveland, Ohio we have the greatest pay per view in the history of the sport! Everyone will be there: Chandler, Daisy, Praecox, Duran, Order, Ananda, Misfits and many others!
Mutt: Hold it! You are forgetting that for the first time in GDWA history, the starting 4 won’t be at the pay per view. Ma Porter, ‘Luscious’ Lisa Thomas, Sonya Blade and ‘Fear Factory’ Lanny Manson WILL NOT be competing. Hell, the complexion of this fed has surely changed in one year’s time.
Bishop: So tonight, at the suggestion of Sonya Blade who is now a commentator in Grand Dragon, we bring you the first matches in GDWA history. ‘Fear Factory’ Lanny Manson against Big Ma Porter! ‘Luscious’ Lisa Thomas against Sonya Blade….
Mutt: And not to be historical, but these folks greatly improved over time! Hell, you wouldn’t have ever thought…
Bishop: Anyway, we also have our first tag match in GRAND DRAGON history. Fans, it’s gonna be a great night. Sam, let’s role the tape. First, we’ll begin with the tag contest between STRIKE and the Browne Girls in our inaugural tag division match up.
FLASHBACK: THE BROWNE GIRLS VS. STRIKE (June 19, 1996)
Bishop: Starting off tonight, we have the debut of Championship Tag Team action in the GDWA and…Sam, where are you going?!
Mutt: Did you even bother to read your press release? Tag team matches aren’t in my contract. I’m gonna go get a cold one while you get to know your tag team broadcast buddy. Here he comes now, see you later.
(Crowd boos as “Congo” Paul Roberts walks down the aisle to the broadcast table)
Bishop: “CONGO” PAUL ROBERTS?!! I thought that you would be long gone by now, seeing what Radhi Ananda did to you!
Congo: Go ahead and laugh, cur. All that ungrateful piece of trash did was help me renegotiate my contract with the GDWA. President Vessey felt I would help enhance the reputation that you and your colleagues have. A man of my bearing will do wonders for this federation!
Bishop: Of course. Fans, Spud McKenzie is in the middle of the ring now. We’re ready for action. Here we go….
Spud: Wrestling fans…Let’s Get Rrrrrrready to Rrrrrrrumble!!!!!
(Fans cheer as horns go off & Spud McKenzie stands poised in the ring.)
Spud: Our first contest is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit and is also THE FIRST GRAND DRAGON TAG TEAM BOUT!!!
(Crowd roars!! The PA crackles and “Brown Girl in the Ring” blasts through the arena)
Spud: Team number one, accompanied to the ring by Medusa Rage. At a combined weight of 280lbs. Sierra Browne and her sister, Indigo Browne; both ladies stand 5’10” and weigh 140lbs. They are THE BROWNE GIRLS!!
(The Browne Girls rush down the aisle to a chorus of cheers, slapping hands with the fans along the aisle and around the ring. Medusa Rage walks to ringside behind her team, completely focused)
Bishop: We saw Sierra Browne wrestle in single’s competition a few shows back. She is a very exciting athlete and really gets the crowd behind her. Look at the way she’s playing with the crowd while she and her sister bounce around the ring!
Congo: Mr. Bishop, we both know that professional wrestling is not a popularity contest. And if my memory serves me correctly, Ms. Browne lost that match against a lady who may just show up here at ringside tonight.
Bishop: Meaning Andrea Chandler of the Syndicate?
Congo: Yes, yes you dolt! The Syndicate is here simply to dominate, by force and by mind games. Chandler represents defeat to Sierra Browne. By having her out here, the Kingpin will demonstrate to the Browne girls that he has, and will, defeat them.
Spud: And, their opponents, accompanied to the ring by the Syndicate; the Kingpin, “The Legend” Micki Duran and Andrea Chandler…
(Mixed response from the crowd as Public Enemy’s “Welcome to the Terrordome” floods the speakers)
Spud: First, standing 5’4″ and weighing in at 122 lbs.; from Denver, Colorado; “Lethal” Liz Sinclair. Her partner, at 5’5″ and 117lbs; from Quebec City, Quebec; Heidi Noelle Lenhart. Together, they are STRIKE!!
(The Syndicate move together in a mob down the aisle, alternately ignoring and smirking at the fans)
Bishop: Look at this. This is starting to become a problem, all these wrestlers showing up at matches that do not involve them. The GDWA officials need to do something about this!
Congo: Oh yeah, it’s all fine when someone like Daisy Butterfly hides behind a gang of thugs, but when stablemates take an interest in a match and wish to cheer on their friends, it becomes a problem. Bishop, they should have sent you to the back and left Mr. Mutt out here!!
Bishop: Ummm, right. Anyhow, look at how these competitors stack up. On one hand we have the Browne sisters. They’re practically identical at 5’10”, these are two big girls. We know Sierra Browne is light on her feet, but supposedly, Indigo is the more agile of the two.
Congo: Their speed comes from their Caribbean training that they are so proud of. Over there, they wrestle a much faster game than you’re used to seeing in the States. And their near-identical likeness will undoubtedly come into play as they will probably try to pull a switcheroo without a legal tag. Combine that with their big brute of a manager, the aptly named Medusa Rage, and you have the potential for some real rulebreaking.
Bishop: I don’t think that their minds are quite as devious as yours. On the devious side of things, we have their opponents, Strike. They are the smaller team in the ring, but from what I’ve seen of them, they are quite the powerhouses!!
Congo: Correct. Some may say that the Browne Girls have a tactical advantage by being sisters, but I’d give that to Strike. These ladies, both former Olympic-caliber gymnasts, have performed alongside of and against each other, they know exactly what the other is capable of. They have formed a bond extending that of tag team partners. Couple that with an arsenal nearly as vicious as they are and you have the team to beat. These ladies are smaller, but definitely the stronger team. Much like another gymnastics champion, our wonderful champion Zaranna, they are total packages.
Bishop: Anyway, the ring is vacant except for the two teams, debating amongst each other who’s starting things off. Congo, did you notice any tension between Sierra Browne and Andrea Chandler?
Congo: Looks were exchanged, but if Sierra’s lucky, Ms. Chandler will find another outlet for her aggression tonight.
Bishop: Meaning? Never mind, the teams are ready to go and it looks as if it will be Sierra Browne and Liz Sinclair starting things off. The two measuring each other…
Bishop: Neither ladies quick to lock-up. Sierra is backing up away from Sinclair as Sinclair stands ready against…DROPKICK TO THE KNEE BY SIERRA!! THAT JUST CAME FROM NOWHERE!! Sinclair bent over as Sierra rushes back and connects with a Bulldog!!
Bishop: Sierra takes Sinclair down and immediately begins working on that leg she dropkicked with a Spinning Leglock! Liz Sinclair tries to get the ropes…and does. Browne breaks the hold, well into the ref’s count, and backs up as Sinclair pulls herself back up. Sinclair and Browne lock-up in a collar-and-elbow tie up and Sierra is backed into the ropes. The ref calling for a break and Sinclair sinks into Browne with a savage European Uppercut! Another one and Sierra is reeling!!
Congo: Those uppercuts deliver a greater impact over a greater surface area, using the forearm oh-so-wonderfully to dislodge Sierra Browne’s jaw!
Bishop: A wristlock by Sinclair and an Irish whip–reversal by Browne–and Sierra Browne catches Liz Sinclair on her return with a Drop Toehold. Sierra Browne, again on that knee! Medusa taught her girls well!
Congo: Any idiot knows that mobility is the key to wrestling. Let’s not give that woman more credit than she deserves. Look! Indigo Browne is climbing the turnbuckle in her corner! What is that idiot doing? She can’t be up there!!
(Crowd begins to cheer on the Browne Girls)
Bishop: As you can hear, she’s leading the fans in cheering on her sister! Sierra Browne, flashing a smile to her fans as she grinds in that leglock. Sinclair trying to get to the ropes again…
Congo: INDIGO BROWNE WITH A LEGDROP OFF THE TOP ROPE!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! SHE’S NOT THE LEGAL PERSON!!
(Big Crowd pop!)
Bishop: The ref runs over to her but she’s out of the ring before he can begin the count. The ref chastising Indigo and Medusa as Sierra picks up Sinclair. Lenhart over in the corner, debating whether or not to rush in while the ref is distracted. Sierra with an Irish Whip and a FRANKENSTEINER–NO!–SINCLAIR REVERSES IT INTO A TIGER BOMB!!
(Dawg Pound goes crazy!!)
Bishop: Both wrestlers hurting after that one. “Lethal” Liz Sinclair crawls over and drapes her arm! 1….2….kickout by Browne. Medusa Rage grabs a hold of Sierra and pulls her out of the ring!!
Congo: Indigo Browne jumps off the apron and the three of them are having a little pow-wow. The ref is counting as Liz Sinclair tags in Lenhart. The Kingpin is yelling at the ref and Duran and Chandler make a move towards the trio. These Browne Girls are cowards, I think they’re about to leave!
Bishop: Sierra crawls back into the ring. She still looks a bit dazed from that Tiger Bomb. Lenhart underhooks the arms and a Butterfly Suplex—Sierra counterbalances AND LANDS ON HER FEET!!!
(Crowd pops in amazement!)
Congo: Wait a minute; that’s INDIGO BROWNE!! SHE’S NOT LEGAL!! THERE WAS NO TAG!! EVER!! GET HER OUT OF THERE!!
Bishop: Hahaha! “Sierra” catches Heidi Lenhart with a Spinwheel Kick as she gets back to her feet! A cover! 1…kickout by Lenhart. She’s fuming right now, as she realizes the switch!!
Congo: Liz Sinclair is yelling to the ref, trying to alert him to the switch and INDIGO BROWNE BOUNCES SINCLAIR OFF THE APRON!! Heidi Lenhart catches Browne on her return with a running clothesline! Strike is angry with the way that the Browne Girls have been playing with them!! Lenhart with a pick-up and a Belly-to-Belly Suplex!!
Bishop: The entire Syndicate on the outside is screaming!! This match has barely started and I think we’re on the verge of a full-scale riot!!
Congo: Heidi with a pick-up and she BEELS INDIGO OVER THE TOP ROPE BY HER HAIR!! Right at the feet of the Syndicate. Pretty convenient, wouldn’t you say?
Bishop: The ref having words with Lenhart as INDIGO BROWNE IS BEING STOMPED BY SINCLAIR!! Rage runs over to help but is screened by Duran and Chandler! Turn around, ref!!
Congo: Sinclair rolls Browne back into the ring and Heidi Noelle Lenhart with a Dragon Suplex!!
Spud: 5 minutes have passed in the 15 minute time limit. 10 minutes remain.
Bishop: Sinclair tagged in. Lenhart whips Browne into the Strike corner and connects with a Handspring Elbow Smash!! Sinclair runs in and CONNECTS WITH ANOTHER HANDSPRING ELBOW SMASH!!
(Dawg Pound erupts, as do some impressed fans!!)
Congo: Brilliant display of ferocity by the gymnasts. Indigo is sagging in the corner as Sinclair climbs the turnbuckles and Bulldogs the Browne girl to the mat!
Bishop: Look at the smile on the Kingpin’s face. A cover by Sinclair; 1…..2…….thr…SAVE BY SIERRA BROWNE!! The ref pushing Browne back to her corner as Andrea Chandler yells at her from the outside. Now Medusa Rage and Andrea Chandler having a verbal exchange!!
Congo: A pick-up and a Gorilla Press by the shorter Sinclair!! Wait, she’s twisting Indigo around….FLYING SHOULDERBLOCK TO LIZ SINCLAIR’S LEGS BY SIERRA BROWNE!! GODDAMNIT!! KEEP THAT DAMN GIRL OUT OF THE RING!!
Bishop: The ref again having words with Browne and Rage. Both women in the ring are on the mat, it looks as if Liz Sinclair’s already weakened knee may have hyperextended.
Congo: I DON’T LIKE THIS!! The Browne Girls should be disqualified for their actions! Sinclair could have suffered a serious injury with that constant focus on her knee!
Bishop: Sierra Browne is outstretched, trying to get the tag!! Indigo is working her way over to her corner and Liz Sinclair is trying to cope with her knee! The fans are all screaming as Indigo reaches out to Sierra!!
Congo: BUT SINCLAIR IS UP FIRST!! SHE DROPS A KNEE TO INDIGO BROWNE’S BACK!! She should have gone back to her corner and tagged Lenhart in!! That knee is really hurting her still! Both ladies on the mat and Liz Sinclair with a desperation headlock, trying to keep Indigo from tagging her sister!!
Bishop: But she can’t keep her from the rope!! Indigo on the rope and Liz Sinclair will not break the hold!!
Bishop: A break and she tries to cinch it back on but Indigo pops up and tags Sierra Browne!!
(Huge crowd pop!!)
Bishop: SINCLAIR SHUFFLES BACK UP TO HER FEET AND GETS CAUGHT BY SIERRA BROWNE’S SLINGSHOT CLOTHESLINE!! HEIDI NOELLE LENHART RUSHES IN AND GETS FLIPPED OUT OF THE RING BY BROWNE!!
Bishop: Sierra stands Sinclair back up and delivers a standing dropkick square to her chest!!
Congo: That’s not where the action is!! Look at what’s going on outside between Micki Duran and Medusa Rage!! Duran has backed the big lady into the gates as Lenhart pulls Indigo Browne off of the apron! A pick-up, POWERBOMB BY LENHART!! RIGHT ON THE HARD ARENA FLOOR!! MEDUSA RAGE IS FLYING INTO A FRENZY AS SHE STARTS SLUGGING IT OUT WITH BOTH THE LEGEND AND LENHART!!
(The arena goes crazy!!!!)
Bishop: In the ring, Sierra Browne catches Liz Sinclair with a Flying Body Block!! Sierra Browne climbs the ropes…..
Congo: AND ANDREA CHANDLER IS UP ON THE APRON!! SHE’S YELLING OVER THE RING TO LENHART!! SINCLAIR STUMBLES BACK UP TO HER FEET!!
Bishop: AND SIERRA BROWNE *COLLAPSES* “LETHAL” LIZ SINCLAIR WITH A FLYING DOUBLE AXEHANDLE TO THE BACK OF HER HEAD!!! A COVER!!
SIERRA BROWNE GETS THE PIN ON LIZ SINCLAIR!! THE BROWNE GIRLS DEFEAT STRIKE ON OUR INITIAL TAG TEAM MATCH!!
Congo: But at what cost?! Look at Indigo, she’s not moving out there!! And Medusa Rage, the big lady, is getting the beating of a lifetime at the hands of Micki Duran and Heidi Noelle Lenhart!!
Bishop: Sierra all smiles as she gets the pin. She looks outside and sees what’s happening to her manager and sister–RUNNING CLOTHESLINE FROM BEHIND BY ANDREA CHANDLER!!! CHANDLER ROLLS SIERRA OUT TO THE REST OF THE SYNDICATE!!
Congo: Lenhart has just picked up Rage and slammed her down, back first on the metal guard rail here at ringside. Duran now stomping away on Sierra Browne as Chandler rolls Rage into the ring. Lenhart and Chandler get into the ring. Lenhart climbs the turnbuckle….
Bishop: A pick-up by Chandler–POWERBOMB!! LENHART WITH A TUMBLEWEED SPLASH FROM THE TURNBUCKLE ON THE DOWNED RAGE!!
(Hardcores pop massive as the rest of the arena gasps!!)
Congo: That’s a take on the Strike finisher, the “Lethal Strike.”
Bishop: Wait, Lenhart is going back up!! Chandler with another pick-up, ANOTHER LETHAL STRIKE!!!
(Hardcores go absolutely wild!!!)
Bishop: The Syndicate is going crazy!! Look, now the Kingpin is in the ring! Chandler and Lenhart pick up Rage and hold her as the Kingpin slaps her!!
(Crowd begins to cheer as Daisy Butterfly and Charlotte La Mancha run down to ringside)
Congo: Well, if it isn’t the Wonder Twins…
Bishop: Butterfly and La Mancha run into the ring! The Syndicate drop Rage and both parties exchange words. Look at the gazes between Butterfly and Chandler….
Congo: CHANDLER WITH A CLOSED FIST STRAIGHT TO BUTTERFLY’S FACE!! The cockroach is stunned as the Syndicate holds Chandler back!! Charlotte pulling Daisy back, she’s smart enough not to get her friend involved in a war with the Syndicate.
Bishop: Kingpin finally gathering his troops and leaving ringside. But the damage has been done. Sierra and Indigo Browne are shaking off the cobwebs on the outside as Charlotte is seeing if Medusa Rage is alright. Daisy Butterfly is cupping her nose, it looks as if she’s bleeding.
Congo: You get your nose busted when you jam it into someone else’s business. Look at Charlotte, trying to assist all four crash test dummies back to their dressing rooms!
(Fans cheer as the five leave ringside)
Bishop: This isn’t good. I guarantee you, the Syndicate will not get away with this. They’ve made quite a few enemies in the short time that they’ve been here, and it’ll all snowball and get them later.
Congo: Maybe, Bishop. But did you see what they did here tonight? They had the Browne family defeated, but instead of getting the win, they went with torture.
Bishop: Right. Anyway, we’ve been waiting for the official word…
Spud: The winners of this contest, at 9 minutes 37 seconds; THE BROWNE GIRLS!!
Mutt: Strike has had problems since then. I mean, where is the respect? The Suicide Blondes getting a title shot BEFORE Strike gets one?
Bishop: It is a sign of the times. How often do you ever hear from STRIKE? And when’s the last time you recall them getting in the ring? No, MISFITS did the right thing in my opinion.
Mutt: And what about this Charlotte and Daisy scenario. The Syndicate and the former Dragon Trio leader have had bad blood since they entered the fed. And did you notice it was Andrea Chandler who smacked that cockroach in the mouth?
Bishop: Andrea has always had a certain flair about her I’ll say. And Daisy not one to back down. Whew! That almost got ugly in that ring, I remember.
Mutt: So what now, we gonna show some of the old matches now?
Bishop: Not just yet! We’ve got Mike Whalen with a GDWA Flashback…
Mutt: Who produces this show? They’re idiots! This entire program is a Flashback! What’s the purpose of this match? We’ve got our inaugural matches from Dawg Pound Wrestling’s inaugural card, and that makes sense. Then we cut and paste and add our inaugural tag division match up. Okay, that’s nice. (Yelling) WHAT THE HELL IS THE PURPOSE OF THE GDWA FLASHBACK THIS WEEK? IS WHALEN GETTING A LITTLE CLOUT AROUND HERE NOWADAYS BECAUSE HE’S BANGIN’ THE WORLD’S CHAMPION!?!?!?
Bishop: (sheepish) Sam, I just follow orders. Mike…help. Please!
FLASHBACK: SONYA BLADE VS. LISA THOMAS
Bishop: Now, Blade trying to get through the ropes and a BIG CLOTHESLINE BY LISA THOMAS. Blade was nailed, and was sent hurling over the top rope.
Mutt: Hah! Look at this. Thomas is distracting the ref and Blade is all by herself with good old Slick. And he takes advantage of the situation and chairshots Blade. And another Chairshot to the back of the knee. That idiot Blade tried to get up and he gave her a good one. Wow, what a team.
Bishop: This is not tag team competition! Anyway, Sonya Blade courageously has re-entered the ring. She’s hobbling a bit. Her left leg has been dubiously maimed. Thomas now, with a shot to the midsection. Now a beautiful Armbar by Thomas and…oh no! A vicious kick to her left leg. And she’s still got that Armbar applied. Now she’s dragging her over to the corner.
Mutt: Here comes the coup de gras! Thomas drapes Blades’ injured left leg over the bottom rope. Here comes a big elbow drop…and missed. Damn it! Blade rolled out of the way.
Bishop: Blade picks up Thomas and delivers a stunning right hand! Thomas is frazzled again. Blade sets her up and a nice Russian Leg Sweep!
(Crowd is on their feet cheering as Sonya Blade plays to them.)
Bishop: Sonya with another pick up and a Swinging Neckbreaker! The cover…1………………….2…………………3!!! No, no, no! The referee is waiving it off. Thomas had her foot on the rope! Blade needs to take this to the middle of the ring.
Mutt: Another pick up by Blade. She’s got her in a Front Face Lock. She’s pointing to the crowd. Wait, Thomas with a surge of strength. Gourdbuster by Lisa Thomas. Yeah, that’ll get Sonya Blade out of the corner.
Bishop: Quickly, Thomas now with a pickup and a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! The cover….1……2….and Blade kicked out before referee Scott Hall could complete the count.
Mutt: Thomas needs to go back to the leg! Well, she picks up Blade and gives her a good shot to the head for trying to upstage her on tight. Thomas, whips her into the ropes AND LOCKS HER INTO A BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! The ref’s out of position. The idiot was off talkin’ to Slick. The cover…….1……….and a kickout damn it!
Spud: 17 minutes have gone by. 3 minutes remaining. Three minutes.
Mutt: I can’t believe this! Thomas had the pin! Damn it! Anyway she’s back up to her feet and is heading for the top rope. She’s going for a Moonsault!
Bishop: Nobody’s home! Sonya Blade rolled out of the way. Blade picks her up connects with a DDT! The cover……1…….2…..kick out! Blade now, with another pick up and…And INVERTED Atomic Drop! Wow! Now she bounces off the ropes and connects with another Dropkick! The cover……1………2……..Thr…no! Thomas pushed off! Just too strong for Sonya Blade!
Spud: 1 minute 30 seconds remaining!
Mutt: Thomas looks totally out of it! And Sonya is taking advantage of the situation. She delivers a left! Another left! She’s pummeling Thomas with shots to the head. Now she whips her into the ropes, no, reversal by Thomas. FRANKENSTEINER!!! Cover her! Cover her!
Bishop: She’s still dazed from those shots she took. Both women are down and we’re just under a minute left. Thomas rolls over on top of her. The cover…1 and a kickout by Blade! Wow, she kicked out at the 1 count!
Mutt: OF course she did. She’s been laying on her back after that Frankensteiner for nearly 10 minutes.
Bishop: Stop exaggerating. Both combatants slow to get up. AND SONYA BLADE DUCKS THE CLOTHESLINE AND DELIVERS A NASTY STANDING DROPKICK! You could hear the snap of Thomas’ neck on that one. Blade picks up Thomas now, and delivers a Backbreaker!
Spud: 15 seconds left. 15 seconds remaining.
Mutt: Oh no! She’s heading for the top rope! Sonya Blade is setting up for her patented Moonsault!
(The crowd is all standing on their feet as she points to them all and leaps.)
Bishop: She connects!!! Textbook Moonsault. The cover. Hey, where’s the referee? Slick has him distracted! He sees the cover! He runs and slides into position! The count! 1…………….2………….
Bishop: IT’s over! It’s Over! Sonya Blade has won it.
Spud: Ladies and Gentlemen, the time has expired. This match has been ruled a draw.
(Chorus of boos from all in attendance.)
Mutt: What a croc of shit! I can’t believe it! ‘Luscious’ Lisa Thomas had this match won!
Bishop: What are you talking about? Blade had the cover! The ref could have counted to 30.
Mutt: That’s what you think. We might be seeing them wrestle again during the big tournament for the Women’s World Heavyweight Championship. And I got my money on ‘Luscious’ Lisa Thomas.
Bishop: Well, that was a hell of a match up, you must admit. Well, anyway fans you’ll be hearing more about the tourney in weeks to come.
Bishop: My, how time flies!
Mutt: Notice how corny you sounded Allen? I’ve toughened you up in the last few months.
Bishop: Well anyway, amazing that neither Sonya Blade nor Lisa Thomas gained championship gold in our fed when they competed. As we saw, they had all of the ABILITY to take them to the mountain.
Mutt: Oh definitely! Lisa Thomas was the precursor to Sachie Yokoyama and Demonica. She wound up getting extreme on everyone! Hell, she laid out Zaranna AND Lanny Manson after a Steel Cage World title defense. She was the ORIGINAL Loose Cannon.
Bishop: Another thing that crossed my mind. The World’s title tournament at that time gave us incredible match ups. Sonya Blade was in the Quarterfinals of the second bracket against ‘Fear Factory’ Lanny Manson. ‘Luscious’ Lisa Thomas was in the Semifinals of the first bracket to face Ma Porter.
Mutt: And no one would have ever guessed Lanny Manson would force Ma Porter to submit to the Trash Zone Octopus Hold to attain the Championship! That was a CLASSIC matchup.
Bishop: Speaking of Ma Porter, neither she nor Lanny Manson will be at FOUNDER’S DAY TRADITION! Incredible.
Mutt: Well, we’ve got them up next in our Main Event. The FIRST EVER singles contest in Grand Dragon history.
Bishop: Fans, don’t sleep on this one. Let’s take a look…
[Municipal Stadium, Cleveland, Ohio] Friday, February 24, 1996
Bishop: Well, before we go to our first Women’s match of the night, let’s hear a taped comments from one of the competitors.
(Fade in on a group of 4 people playing cards in what looks to be a dingy club. One is an obvious Mafioso, one is a matronly (yet intimidating) woman, one is obviously not a wrestler, and one is wearing a mask. The camera focusses on the non-wrestler…
“Greetings form the Organized Crime Camp. My name is Tony DeSoto and I have collected the most awesome stable of wrestlers in the sport today. Even more, we look out for each other, and I look after them. My men (matronly Woman coughs loudly) AND woman will snatch up every belt in the Dawg Pound. And there ain’t a freakin’ thing any of you can do about it. I’ve said my piece, now I give you…Ma Porter!”
(Camera turns to a heavy set graying woman, who looks intimidating and gnaws on a chicken between sentences. She has a heavy Brooklyn accent.)
“Hey! All youse ‘lady’ wrestlers in the Dawg Pound, look out. Ma Porter is comin right at ya, and I ain’t no lady. I’m gonna maul every last one of youse here in the Dawg Pound, and you’ll be beggin’ me to take mercy upon your wretched carcass. I’ll take every one of youse on, and win! And I’m gonna make Tony here proud of me.
(She pauses to take a card from Tony Desoto, who is dealing. She shows it to the camera. It is the Queen of Spades) Hey! What could be better? The Queen of the Dawg Pound, that’s what I am, and that’s what I’ll always be. Trust me, you ain’t heard the last of Ma Porter.
(Ma Porter gnaws on her bone as the camera fades to black.)
MA PORTER VS. LANNY MANSON
Mutt: My kind of woman!
Bishop: Aren’t yours usually on street corners?
Spud: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit.
(Crowd boos as Ma Porter comes walking down the aisle swiping away at the outreaching fans.)
Spud: Coming down the aisle, hailing from Queens, New York. She is 6 feet tall, weighing in at 215 pounds, she is Ma Porter!
(Ma Porter is a wrestler older and larger than most. She wears traditional wrestling gear and walks in a confident stride.)
Bishop: This is our 1st women’s match here at Dawg Pound Wrestling. It pits ‘Fear Factory’ Lanny Manson against Big Ma Porter. And if I may add, Manson better be on the ball, because Porter doesn’t seem like the friendly type! She’s not even acknowledging the fans.
Mutt: Why should she?! She’s focusing on her match up and that’s what all wrestlers should do. Why should she try to appease these morons?
Bishop: Because the fans are the life blood of professional wrestling. Without their appreciation…
Mutt: All they can do is pay my bills!
(‘Replica’ by Fear Factory blares out through the speakers as the crowd pops!)
Spud: And her opponent, from the Streets and Beaches of Los Angeles! She is 5 feet 5 inches, 131 pounds…..this is ‘Fear Factory’ Lanny Manson!
(Lanny Manson is wearing a short ripped off jeans and a heavy metal shirt with the bottom ripped as you can see her stomach.)
Mutt: I hate her already.
Bishop: How can you hate her? Manson was slapping hands with the fans on her way to the ring. She’s even taking time out to play a guitar solo for crying out loud. She’s entertaining the fans!
Mutt: Yeah, sure. But I can’t wait till Ma Porter destroys her for delaying this match up!
Bishop: Well, this match is underway. Porter and Manson stand at opposing sides of the ring, each sizing the other up. Manson seems a little hesitant to lock up at this moment, and I don’t blame her.
Mutt: She’d be a fool to charge at Porter. Porter is over 200 pounds and is 5 inches taller than her! Oh, I’m gonna enjoy this!
Bishop: They finally lock up and Porter forces her into a corner. The ref is trying to break it up…and a cheap shot by Ma Porter! She punches Manson several times right in the jaw! Porter grabs Manson by the back of her head and delivers a head butt.
Mutt: Yeah, that Heavy Metal head is getting it now! Two more headbutts by Porter! Manson is slumped in the corner…what? The ref is trying to back Porter away. This is totally partial if you ask me!
Bishop: But nobody did. Porter drives her into the corner but she slams into the turnbuckle! Manson dove out of the corner at the last second! Now she’s tagging Porter right back with the punches. Porter is stunned.
Mutt: Ref get in there! What the hell is this?!
Bishop: Porter’s head is bouncing back into the turnbuckle. Those must be strong hands. Ma Porter outweighs her by at least 70 pounds. Another left….another right! Porter is slumped over as Manson applies a Side Headlock. What’s this….MANSON WITH A RUNNING BULLDOG!
(Large crowd pop as Lanny Manson bounces back up to her feet.)
Mutt: So what? Ma isn’t staying down. She struggling, but she’s getting to her feet. This is a tough lady!
Bishop: Manson is electric though. Another big right hand to the haw of Porter. Porter is trying to fire back, but the Fear Factory is much too quick. Manson now, pointing to the crowd. Whips Ma Porter into the ropes and nails her with a Dropkick!
Mutt: Hah, you call that a Dropkick? No affect. Porter shrugs it off and with an Elbowdrop…
Bishop: …and MISSES! She’s cringing in pain. Manson runs into the ropes and drops a shin right over the forehead of Porter. Porter tries to reach the ropes but Manson has her up. Kick to the midsection and she applies the TRASH ZONE Octopus Hold!!! That’s Lanny Manson’s premier move.
Mutt: No! No! No! Do something, Ma!
Bishop: The ref is checking for a submission but nothing doing! Ma Porter is trying to reach around, and yes, she reaches the ropes. Poor ring positioning by Lanny Manson.
Mutt: Oh boo hoo! If she had Porter in the middle of the ring it wouldn’t have made any differences! Porter is tough! She wouldn’t have given up.
Bishop: Manson now, picking up Ma Porter. She’s losing ground quickly to the bigger woman and she’s bullied into the turnbuckle. Porter snatches the back of her head and smashes it into the turnbuckle! Manson is a little shaken up. She tries walking it off along the ropes but Porter drives into her with a Double Axe Handle. Right in the kidneys! Manson is laid out on the canvas.
Bishop: Now Porter back in control. She picks up Manson from the mat and delivers a big Head Butt! She’s still got her in her clutches, and she delivers another one! Manson is wobbly. She’s walking feebly around the ring as Ma Porter backs into the ropes and…Manson ducks the Clothesline!
Mutt: Porter is bouncing off the opposite ropes and gets caught with a Thrust Kick! That must have been luck! Manson now, delivering another punch to her jaw! Where’s the man in stripes when you need him? Ma Porter is back peddling towards the ropes while Manson is punching away.
Bishop: Manson with another kick to the stomach. Lanny Manson must have some kind of upstairs downstairs strategy. Whatever her strategy is, it’s keeping Ma unbalanced. Manson now, pulls her into the middle of the ring and HITS a DDT. Porter is down.
(Big Crowd pop!)
Bishop: She’s jumping up and down now, waving her arms. She’s signaling for something.
Mutt: I can’t believe this! Manson to the top rope now, facing the crowd.
Bishop: Moonsault! The cover…..1…….2……and a kick out! Manson picks her up, and another kick to the midsection.
Mutt: This is stupid! Lanny Manson must have brain damage from all that head banging. If she was smart she would have left Porter on the mat.
Bishop: Lanny Manson with another kick to the midsection, and Porter bends over in pain! Manson winds up and nails her with a big Tornado Punch! Porter drops like a sack of potatoes as Manson makes the Lateral Press…1…..2….and a half! Porter’s foot on the rope!
Mutt: What an idiot! Manson picks her up again. Irish Whip into the ropes and Manson goes for a flying Forearm…but Porter diving away from her! Porter now, snatching her up from the mat and connects with a head butt. YES! Wasting no time now, Ma Porter scoops her up again and slams Manson hard to the canvas. Porter with a standing elbow drop! Right on the ribs! Two successive elbows and all the life is outta that wimp Manson!
Bishop: Porter is using the ring like a battle field. She’s bending over using the ropes to drive her knee into Manson’s ribs! The leverage digs those knees into her ribs that much more! Now Big Ma Porter is dragging Manson to the middle of the ring. Bouncing off the near ropes, she drops a big elbow!
Mutt: Yeah, you thought she was so smart! Let’s see Manson do some running now. Porter’s strategy is a simple as it gets! Keep her one the mat and mash her ribs into the ground.
Bishop: Blatant choke by Ma Porter. The ref is making the mandatory count to break but Porter releasing at 4! The ref’s had enough as he backs her away. Porter’s arguing and the ref is threatening her.
Mutt: How biased can this guy get? This is the second time now that the ref’s broken up the match and allowed Manson some time to rest.
Bishop: Lanny Manson is on her feet, bent over trying to get some air. Ma Porter charging now. She drives a shoulder into her back…Manson’s hurt…She’s’ stumbling away from Porter trying to regroup. Manson stumbles into the ropes and comes bouncing off with a big right hand!
Mutt: I don’t think this is the kinda match Manson can win! Brawling seems right up Ma’s alley! So let Manson take the pot shots at the jaw.
Bishop: Manson runs to the other end of the ring…bouncing off the ropes and…executes a numbing Dropkick! Now a standing Dropkick and Porter goes down!
Mutt: But Manson is grabbing those ribs. They’re real tender. That Dropkick wasn’t too kind to her when she hit the mat. And look how smart Ma is. She’s immediately heading toward the corner slowing down the match.
Bishop: Manson measuring Porter up, and charges in with a Big Clothesline. She’s climbing the second rope now! Manson is clubberin’ Ma Porter!
(Crowd chanting: 1…..2…3….4…5….6…..7…8…….9……10.)
Bishop: Woah! Wait a minute! Ma Porter with a Waistlock! It looks like a bear hug, folks! She’s walking out of the corner as Manson is still delivering shots to her head. Oh no!
(Crowd suddenly groans.)
Mutt: Smart move! Ma fell backward into the corner driving Lanny Manson’s face into the top turnbuckle. Look at this now, Porter’s ramming Manson’s kidneys with Headbutts! She’s still draped over the top rope! I love it! Bishop, I like this Ma Porter she’s smart. She’s sticking with that back and ribs she worked on earlier.
Bishop: Ma Porter now, climbing to the second rope…Belly to Belly Suplex off the top rope!
Mutt: Yes! I love it! This thing has got to be over!
Bishop: Manson’s in trouble! Porter’s not even going for the cover. Ma Porter picks her up from the mat and tosses her into the turnbuckle. More punches to the rib and kidney area. She doesn’t do a lot of wrestling but I must admit, it is impressive. Porter now pulls her out of the corner and delivers a…short arm Clothesline! Manson is flat on her back! The cover….1….2….kick out!
Mutt: Porter now, stomping away on the ribs! She must wear about a size 18 boot! Backing up into the ropes, Porter drops a BIG HEADBUTT INTO THE RIBS. Manson is screeching out in pain. Maybe one of her ribs is busted up? The ref is trying to break it up but Ma Porter tosses him aside! Porter’s had enough of him.
Bishop: Disqualify her ref!
Mutt: Ma Porter, backing into the ropes now and drops a Giant Splash on Manson!
Bishop: The cover……1………………….2……………3!
Mutt: It’s over!
Spud: At 18 minutes 23 seconds, the winner of this match via pinfall….Big Ma Porter!!!
Mutt: Oh, how sweet it is!
Bishop: Wait a minute! Porter isn’t done. She backs into the ropes and lands another Giant Splash. The ref needs to regain control. Oh no! Another Giant Splash and they’re getting out the stretchers.
Mutt: Turn out the lights! The parties over!
Bishop: The ref has finally regained control and forced Porter out of the ring. I can’t believe this! The first women’s match in federation history and it ends THIS way. Fans we’ll keep you posted on any further developments.
Mutt: Good ol’ Ma Porter! Hey, I miss the good old days when the good guys would get stretchered out!!! Now all my favorites are beating each other up.
Bishop: Fans, that’s it for this week. The next time you hear from us it’ll be the prematch show for FOUNDER’S DAY TRADITION!!! The big one on the way. See ya at ringside, and don’t forget to check out THE LAST flash show prior to the pay per view….the MVP!