ICWF Intercontinental Tag Team Championship is defended as Fury takes on Wildside.

<Jessie, Bob, and Chad sit at ringside, with an excited crowd waving and screaming all around. Colored lights flash over the arena as the latest show begins.>

Jessie: Good evening, everybody! Live from our beautiful studios here in Richter City, Florida, we bring you the ICWF Saturday Showdown! With me tonight are my esteemed colleagues, Chad “Romeo” Romero, Bob Brodsky, and “Luscious” Lisa Madison! We’ve got some big developments on tap for you tonight, right, Bob?

Bob: Absolutely, Jess! In addition to seeing promos from some exciting new wrestlers, we’ve also got some fantastic matches, including a title defense for our Intercontinental champions, Fury!

Chad: And that ain’t all! Comin’ up is a segment that’s got me itchin’ with anticipation! It’s Rob Foster’s “Twilight Zone”, which gives him a chance to interview some of the yokels here in the ICWF! His first guest’ll be none other than the world’s champion himself, double M, the Masked Marauder!

Lisa: Right on, Chad! And let’s not forget our matches with Bambi, Jeri, Karla, and so many more!

Jessie: So right, Lisa! Now for our first match! Let’s go to Mike Duffer with the announcements.

Mike Duffer: Ladies and gentlemen. This next match is one fall, 20 minute time limit. Stepping into the ring, with Johanna his valet, from Scandinavia, at 264 lbs., the great Viking Warrior, Erik the Awful.

(Fans boo and jeer and make faces at Johanna, a tall Nordic busty blond. She reaches for a few fans to slap them, but misses and gets more jeers. Erik wears black tights, fake animal furs, and a horned helmet, carrying a spear. He has long, red scraggily hair and a large red beard. Johanna wears a chain mail crop-top and bikini bottom, with chic knee-high fur boots. She’s well-muscled, large-breasted, and blonde.)

(“I Want It All” plays loudly as Cheerleader Bambi runs down the aisle with Kelli, her mother and manager. The cheers get louder as she runs down to the ring.)

Now entering the ring, from Huntington Beach, CA, accompanied by her manager, Kelli, at 138 lbs., Cheerleader Bambi. (She wears a UCLA cheerleader outfit which she pulls off, revealing a red thong bikini, short red boots, and red kneepads.) The referee is former NCAA Wrestling Champion Donna Quinn.

Jessie: Bambi’s said she wants Erik because she sees him as another up and coming newcomer, and wants to move out ahead of him. Bambi’s made great progress since she came to the ICWF.

Chad: Baloney! She’s fought has-beens and bozo jobbers. Even Mr. Buc can beat a couple of them.

Bob: That’s right, but she is very good and could easily win here. Hey, was that a cheap shot?

Jessie: I’ll tell you guys, Bambi looks ready for bear. Erik may be in for a rough outing, Viking or not. Here’s the bell. They lockup and he quickly pushes her into the ropes. Ooooh, a hard forearm into her chest, and another. Bambi’s down and Erik’s moving in and kicking her belly and chest. She’s trying to cover-up, but Erik’s just too much. Donna’s trying to push him back. But Erik moves in and pulls her up by her hair. A hard chop to her throat and he tosses her into a corner.

Chad: That’ll help her back. I suppose she still looks ready for bear. Bear meat, you mean.

Jessie: Erik grabs her hair and throws her over the top rope. She lands hard on the floor and Erik climbs to the apron and knee drops her back. WOW! She’s hurt and Donna’s counting them both. He climbs back in and Bambi is trying to climb back up. She’s staggering around, very wobbly and hurt. She’s climbed onto the apron, but Erik kicks her down again. Not smart, Donna is starting the count again. Kelli helps her daughter, but she looks really bad. Bambi climbs up and is back in at 18, but she’s trying to stay away from Erik.

Chad: That’s the smartest thing she’s done yet. Some tough broad, uh Jessie?

Bob: Chad, shut up!

Jessie: Chad, you’re a real sensitive guy. Now just shut up or get lost! Erik pushes Bambi into a corner and knees her belly. Donna moves in fast to stop him. He’s getting a lecture from her, but he comes back in and grabs Bambi’s hair. Oh my, a hard jab into his belly, another, and a third and Erik backs off, complaining to Donna.

Donna: Just shut up and wrestle!

Jessie: Well, I guess that settles the issue. Erik goes after her, but Bambi backs up, still hurting and groggy from his vicious attack. She finally locks up and clamps on a side headlock. She’s grinding his head and neck, really making life miserable. But Erik moves to the ropes and she has to release the hold. Hey, look at that. Bambi drove a short jab into his face as she let go. He’s stunned and yelling at Donna for a disqualification. That’s probably the only way he’ll win.

Chad: This is another two-against-one match. Shaw and Perry should stop this and fire Quinn. She stinks and is clearly for Boobi.

Bob: Bambi, you putz!

Jessie: Take it easy. Bob. Don’t anger the putz. Bambi grabs his hair and clamps another headlock. She flips him to the mat and pulls hard on his neck, twisting at the same time. Chad, call a chiropractor. Erik pulls her over and has her down for a two count, but she rolls back. Wow, that was close. Bambi punches his face with another short jab while Donna is looking elsewhere. There’s another jab and Erik looks more calm now. Bambi hits him again, but Donna saw it and is counting. A fourth jab and Bambi lets go. Erik’s a little slow getting up, so Bambi helps him up by his left arm and twists it, putting on an armbar. She steps over it, trapping it between her legs. Here it comes, YES, she sits down hard on that arm and shoulder, driving Erik into the mat, face-first. Bambi’s having fun now, pulling back and up on that arm.

Bambi: Come on Viking clown, give up or I’ll break it! Give up stupid!

Chad: This is uncalled for. She should be thrown out of the ICWF.

Jessie: Shut up! It’s okay when your precious Rose does it, but not if Bambi does it. She’s really hurting that arm and shoulder. But Erik’s almost got a rope. Yes, he grabbed it, and not too soon. He’s really hurt. Bambi lets go, but stomps on the shoulder as she stands. Donna pushes her back, but Bambi moves around her and stomps on the arm and shoulder. She’s standing on his left hand and knee drops the upper arm. Donna counts, but Bambi gets in another kick before she backs off. You don’t want to cross this girl! Erik slowly gets up and is greeted with a flying dropkick right in the face, sending him into a corner. Bambi comes back with another. God, that almost took his head off. Wait, here comes Johanna. She’s got Bambi and Erik slugs her hard in her belly and chest. Johanna runs back out as Erik takes over.

Chad: Real teamwork is great.

Bob: Get lost!

Jessie: Erik has her in a front headlock. Looks like a suplex coming up. NO! Bambi grabs that hurt arm and twists it. He has no strength left in it. She has a hammerlock, really pushing up. She grabs his hair and pulls him to the mat. God, his head bounced off the mat. She’s punishing that shoulder. There’s a handstand on his back and she drops both knees into his arm and shoulder.

Bambi: Dearie, you should give up. This arm is dead and you will be soon.

Jessie: Well, you can’t say she didn’t warn him. Bambi releases the hammerlock and stands. She’s motioning for him to come get her. He tries to get up, but that arm can barely support his weight. She kicks it and Erik lands flat on his face. A kneedrop on the shoulder and she backs off, waiting for him to wrestle. Erik finally gets up, but Bambi grabs his hair, pulling him into a standing headscissors. She grabs his tights and up he goes. HOLY *bleep*! She jumped back and sat down hard and he bounced straight up and fell over. Johanna’s yelling at him, but he can’t hear anything. Bambi has him up again, another piledriver, and he’s just about out cold. She’ll cover him for the, no; Bambi stands him up by his beard, lifts him with a belly-to-back suplex and slams his head and neck into the mat. She slowly gets up, grinning at her work. He’s laying like a pile of old clothes.

Bambi: Hey, get up. We aren’t done yet.

Jessie: She pulls him up by his beard and throws him into a corner. Erik bounces off the turnbuckle and lands on his back. She pulls him up again and throws him across the ring into a corner. He slams into the corner and Bambi follows with a forearm smash into his chest and he drops like a rock. This really should end. It’s gone too far. Bambi pulls him to the center, climbs to the top rope and flies off, driving an elbow into his belly. She really flies off that rope. Erik’s just rolling around hurt, unable to defend himself. But still Bambi stands him up and lifts him onto her shoulders in a backbreaker. She did that with such ease. She’s pulling down on his chin and leg. He’s waving his submission. Donna’s telling her to drop him, but Bambi won’t. She’s really bending him backwards, teaching him a lesson. Donna starts a count and Bambi drops him from her shoulders. WOW! What a match. Or should I say mismatch? Johanna comes running in, and gets between Erik and Bambi. They’re staring one another down!

Chad: This could be good! Maybe Johanna’s the one who shoulda been in there!

Jessie: Bambi shrugs, then waves to the crowd as she exits the ring. Here’s Mike Duffer with the wrap-up.

Mike Duffer: The winner, in 15:47, Cheerleader Bambi.

Jessie: Danny Lopez is with our winner.

Danny: Congratulations on another impressive win. You’ve got a good string of victories here.

Bambi: Thank you, but I’m really, like tired of wrestling these, you know, has beens and second-rate wrestlers. I came here for real competition and a belt. I need better wrestlers to show just how good I am. Hey, Rob Foster or Gwynne. Either of you, like want to try some real competition? Or will you, like come up with a lame excuse?

Danny: WOW! I guess you are very serious about this. Do you feel ready for one of them?

Bambi: Danny. Like how many times have I come here saying the same thing? Yes I’m ready, but, you know, are they?

Kelli: The ICWF should have given my girl a real shot at some of the prime competition here instead of these jobbers. You saw what she did to this awful guy. She should have kept on going against him.

Danny: How much more could she do without killing him? Well, I hope Shaw or Perry are listening. Maybe you’ll get a better match soon. About this match; do you think all that punishment was needed, considering he had no fight left for the last 10 minutes?

Bambi: Yes, he deserved everything he got. He started the rough stuff and, like, I just finished it. I want the ICWF to, you know, see that I can more than match anything these wrestlers do. As for someone like watching this and giving me a real opponent, I hope so. I’m like losing my skills against these people. I WANT A REAL MATCH!

Danny: Thank you Bambi and Kelli. Maybe she will face a ranked opponent soon. Back to you Jessie.

Jessie: Thanks Danny. Now we’re going to see a segment featuring a new competitor here in the ICWF, who will be wrestling later in the show. Her name is Yoshiko Kage, better known by some as “The Shadow”. Let’s go to that now!

(The scene is at an airport. The sun is shining and an airplane has just landed and is coming to a halt. Susan James is standing in front of the camera, looking at the airplane. She is a beautiful brunette wearing a black T-shirt, a pair of blue jeans, white sneakers and an ICWF cap. She turns to the camera and smiles.)

Susan: Hi there. I bet you’re all wondering just what I’m doing here at the airport. Well, I’m going to tell you. I’m here waiting for one of my best friends, who should be arriving with that plane over there.

She smiles and points at the plane, which has now come to a halt and is opening the doors, letting the passengers disembark.

Susan: Now, I guess you might be asking what this has to do with the ICWF. Well, it just so happens that my friend is a wrestler I managed while I was in Japan a while back. After my wrestlers and I came here to the ICWF I decided that this was just the place for her as well, so I picked up the phone and here she is, just itching to get her hands on the competition here in the ICWF. Now, let’s see if we can spot her….A lot of passengers on this plane….Hmmm…..AAH! There she is! YOSHIKO! OVER HERE!

(Susan waves energetically at a young, Japanese woman emerging from the plane. She is somewhat small compared to many wrestlers, no more than 5’7″ tall, and with a slender build, probably weighing no more than around 135 lbs. She is VERY beautiful, with long, gleaming black hair reaching down below her shoulders and wearing a white blouse and black pants. She smiles and waves at Susan and the camera crew who are walking over to the stairs, then turns to the crew of the plane who are standing at the doorway and bows to them.)

Yoshiko: Thank you for allowing me to fly with your aircraft.

Stewardess #1: Well, you did pay the ticket you know….

Yoshiko: Nevertheless it has been my honor to be allowed to utilize your services. Thank you very much.

(She smiles and turns around, walking down the steps.)

Captain: Uhm. Thank you, ma’am.

Stewardess #2: What a _nice_, young woman.

Stewardess #1: Yeah. If every passenger was like her this job would be a lot easier.

(Yoshiko gets down the stairs and runs over to Susan. The two friends give each other a hug.)

Susan: Heya, Yoshiko! Have a good flight?

Yoshiko: Hai, Susan-chan. It was very good. The crew were ever so helpful and kind.

(Susan chuckles slightly.)

Susan: Yeah, well, you’ve got this talent for making the most obnoxious boor behave nicely just by being there. Heh…..Who knows, you might even make Chad Romero act somewhat like a human being….although that _is_ a bit of a stretch.

(Susan grins widely as the two turn to walk to Susan’s car.)

Yoshiko: Now, now Susan. I am sure this Mr. Romero is a perfectly nice person. He is probably just being misunderstood.

(Susan laughs loudly while Yoshiko just smiles sweetly. They finally get to the car and turns to the camera.)

Susan: Well, people. This is my new addition to the ranks of the ICWF wrestlers. “The Shadow” Yoshiko Kage! Now, she might look a bit small and seem a bit too nice for this business….

Yoshiko: There is nothing wrong with being a nice person, Susan-chan. I am certain we would all be much happier if we just treated those around us with respect and kindness.

(Susan smiles at Yoshiko.)

Susan: Like I was saying. She might sound a bit too nice, but trust me when I say she’s got what it takes to be a major nightmare for whoever she faces in the ring.

(Yoshiko giggles and smiles at the camera.)

Yoshiko: You are making me sound like a Jekyll and Hyde, Susan-chan. It is not like that at all. I do believe that if you are nice to people they will most often be nice to you……However, inside the wrestling ring I have a job to do, and I will do that job to the best of my ability.

(Suddenly she gets a dangerous look in her eyes.)

Yoshiko: And don’t think that I cannot become angry. I am quite capable of that. I will treat a person with respect, but if they show themselves not to deserve that respect then, as you Americans put it, “All bets are off!”

(Yoshiko smiles sweetly at the camera again as the screen cuts back to the broadcast table.)

<Commercial Break>

Jessie: He’s a wrestler, he’s a manager…and now, he has his own interview segment! Fans, get ready for the debut of The Twilight Zone, hosted by the man himself, Rob Foster!

Bob: I can’t believe the producer is allowing this trash on the program!

Chad: Hey, they let you be on the program! Foster is definitely a major improvement over your babbling! Besides, he’s got the ICWF World Champion, the Masked Marauder, as his first guest!

Bob: What a surprise, his own man is on the first show!

Jessie: Nevertheless, this should be interesting. Now, let’s step into the Zone!

View shifts to a dimly-let stage. As Golden Earring’s “Twilight Zone” begins to play, the stage is let up with a mini-laser show. Eventually, the lights come up a little and a spotlight centers on a lone figure on the stage. The figure is revealed to be Rob Foster, dressed in his usual wrestling attire and ring jacket.

Foster: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, morons of all ages, welcome to the debut of The Twilight Zone! Here and here alone will you hear the REAL truth about what is going on here in the ICWF, not the lies and the tall tales that our esteemed commissioner and the board of imbeciles would have you believe. And who better to bring all of this to you than me, Rob Foster, the man himself! (Loud chorus of boos from the fans.] Now, my first guest in the Twilight Zone is a man who needs no introduction. He is a man who has single-handedly taken over the ICWF in recent weeks. A man who beat nineteen other ICWF wrestlers to qualify for a match against the FORMER world champion, the Blurred Vision herself, Nancy James. A man who destroyed James, and has destroyed every other competitor who has dared to step into the ring with him! He is the ICWF World Champion, the one, the only, the Masked Marauder!!

“Hell Bent for Leather” by Judas Priest heralds the entrance of the Marauder, who is wearing the championship belt. He is accompanied by the Body Girls, one on each arm, and they are wearing the ICWF U.S. Tag Title belts.

Foster: Champ, you’re looking good tonight! And ladies, what can I say? As usual, you put these fat, homely, buck-toothed women in the audience to shame! (More booing)

Brandi: Robbie, the ICWF World Champion deserves the very best! And when you’ve got the Bodies at your side, you’ve got the best!

Foster: Double M, you’ve got to be on top of the world right now! You’ve got a Body Girl on each arm, you’ve got the World Tag Champs, the Snake Sisters in your corner, you’ve got the world’s greatest manager, and you’ve got the one thing that every wrestler in this sport covets the most…the ICWF World Championship!

Crowd is steadily booing. Marauder pauses, basking in the hatred of the fans:

Marauder: Rob, you’ve known me a long time. You and I came up through the ranks of this sport together, doing whatever we had to do to be successful in the ring. If we had to cheat, we did it. If we had to break bones, we did it. If we had to end someone’s career, we did it. And this (he motions towards the championship belt), THIS is what it was all about. This belt says that I am the BEST wrestler in the world today, bar none! I earned this belt by beating a wrestler at the top of her career! And I’ll defend against ANYONE who has the guts to step in the ring against me!

Foster: One person who I know YOU would like to step in the ring against is the current ICWF Television Champion, Kassandra Helman!

Marauder: Helman, you are the only spot on an otherwise perfect record. I can accept the fact that you beat me, you are definitely a great wrestler. What I can’t accept is that you and that group of cowards that you hang around thought you could beat us at our own game. I still owe you for that one, and I intend to pay you back in full!

Foster: Champ, you know that every has-been and wanna-be in this fed wants a shot at your belt. Any comments on the list of contenders?

Marauder: Just line ’em all up, and I’ll knock ’em all down! It doesn’t matter if it’s the former champ Vision in Violet, if it’s one of the Kingpin’s flunkies, or even that fool Arlechino. You all know where to find me, right here on the top of the heap of the ICWF!

Crowd suddenly erupts in applause as Bulk Hogan makes his way from the locker room to the Twilight Zone set. On his way, he high fives some guy with a ring side seat who is dressed up to resemble Hogan.

Foster: Listen Pukester, nobody invited you to be on MY show!

Hogan: Well you know something, brother, I don’t care whose show this WAS, but it’s the Bulkster’s show NOW, dude! (Foster steps forward to challenge Hogan, but Randi calmly takes his arm and pulls him back) And as for you, Marauder, you may think you’re own on top of the world now, man! But you haven’t faced the power of Bulkamania, brother! My Bulkamaniacs saw the path of destruction that you and your dirty, nasty snake friends carved through the ICWF, man, and they knew that there was only one force in the universe strong enough to stop it, dude! With the four demandments of the prayers, the training, the vitamins, and the believing in yourself, me and all my little Bulkamaniacs will take the ICWF title from the side of evil and bring it back to the side of good, brother! What you gonna, Masked Marauder, when the largest arms in the world DESTROY YOOOOUUUUUU!!!

Hogan is shaking and sweating heavily, and he turns to the camera to pose. Marauder smiles and nails Hogan from behind. After a few boots to the head, the Marauder pulls Hogan to his feet and drags him down to the ring. He slams the Bulkster into the ringpost, and then rolls him under the bottom rope. Hogan tries to stagger to his feet, but the Marauder nearly takes his head off with a clothesline. Marauder picks Hogan up, climbs to the top turnbuckle, and executes the Super Slam on him. Marauder covers Hogan, and Foster rolls into the ring to count Hogan out. As they leave the ring, they are met by the Body Girls, and Marauder grabs the mike from the ring announcer.

Marauder: So much for the power of Bulkamania! (He throws the mike down, and shoves the Hogan look-a-like at ringside back into his seat. They exit to the locker room to a chorus of boos.

<Commercial Break>

Jessie: This next match will be a real tough test for both wrestlers. The Assassin comes to the ICWF with a great record in other federations, and is a rough and feared wrestler. He has a strong desire to win titles and rule the ICWF. Jeri Taylor won her first ICWF match with ease and has a fantastic future. Jeri’s a highflyer who can brawl and use the power moves with the best of them. She and another new woman, Cheerleader Bambi train and may team up together. The fans will enjoy this match.

Chad: My money’s on the Assassin. He’ll have Mr. X in his corner and he’s another tough wrestler. This will put Taylor in her place, back in an igloo in Minnesota. How can you say she has a fantastic future when she’s only fought one stiff?

Bob: Thank you for that totally inane statement. She has a great future; just look at her abilities.

Chad: What did you say? Inane. What’s that? Jessie, is he swearing at me?

Jessie: Bob, that’s right on the mark. Yes, Chad, he called you a very nasty name. Now, let’s go to the ring for the announcements.

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen. This next match is one fall with a 20 minute time limit.

(The Assassin enters wearing his white mask and a leather jacket which he removes revealing black tights with “KILL” written down the sides, and matching boots. As he climbs into the ring he yells out.)

Assassin: Hey, Marauder, Arlechino, and Helman, watch this. This will happen to you, only a lot more.

Ring Announcer: Accompanied by Mr. X, from parts unknown, at 243 lbs. the Assassin.

(Jeri Taylor runs down the aisle, high-fiving fans and kissing kids as she runs by.)

Now entering the ring, accompanied by her manager, the great Antonio Pampa, from St Paul, MN, at 146 lbs., Jeri Taylor.

(She enters wearing a gold cape which she slowly removes, revealing a tiger-striped, high cut leotard with matching boots. She slowly struts around, waving to her admirers.)

Assassin: Hey, bimbo. You’re going back to the frozen north with some broken bones. You won’t last five minutes. Look at these muscles. (He flexes his arms, chest, and back; a well-built wrestler)

Jeri: Put your fists where your mouth is because I’m putting my fists where your mouth is.

Jessie: Wow! This is starting off like a firecracker. The referee is Donna Quinn. She’s becoming quite a good ref here in the ICWF.

Chad: Yeah, right. She’s a doofus who can’t control the action. She also plays favorites with her pals.

Bob: Chad, that’s baloney. She’s very good and a fair referee. Look at those two, Donna and Jeri. They’re beautiful and very talented. Isn’t Jeri a doll with that long, blond hair and blue eyes?

Chad: Hey, Bob, you need some relief? You’re getting a little hot.

Jessie: Okay boys, take it easy. Bob, you’re right. There’s the bell. They both come out fast and lockup. Assassin pushes Jeri into the ropes and hammers her with a forearm smash across the chest. Donna with a warning. Lockup and another forearm smash to Jeri chest as Assassin is pushing her around. He’s got that “you’re finished” smirk on his face.

Assassin: Come on little girl, show me what you have.

Chad: Too bad Jeri doesn’t have anything to show.

Jessie: The two lockup and Assassin puts on a wristlock, pushing back on that wrist. He’s putting on the pressure, but Jeri’s standing her ground. Wait a minute! He takes her down with a hair pull. Donna didn’t see it as she was distracted by Mr. X who was making noise outside the ring. Assassin’s still working on that wrist and arm. He learned this from Mr. X, who loves to weaken an opponent, then pummel him or her. Jeri will soon have some serious problems with that arm, if she doesn’t get away.

Chad: Maybe if she asks politely, he’ll will release her.

Jessie: Gee, what a great idea. He pulls her up by that hurt arm and twists it into an armbar. Ooooohh, a hard kick to her chest, and another. That arm will be useless very soon.

Chad: Go to it Assassin. This guy’s got a real future. Why don’t you talk about that?

Jessie: He’s still got the armbar. A takedown and he pulls hard on that arm. His foot pushes against her head as he pulls. She’s trying to get up, but Assassin has the leverage and pulls her back down. Jeri’s trying to move to the ropes by kicking and bucking her body. Assassin can’t stop her and she reaches the ropes.

Bob: Shows good tactics and abilities.

Jessie: Donna breaks it up and pushes Assassin away.

Chad: Oh great! Once again we have two-on one. Where’s Shaw or Perry to see this?

Jessie: Assassin moves in, but Jeri takes him down with a leg sweep. She quickly clamps on a step-over-toehold, twisting the leg with a vengeance. He’s in some pain and she’s out to make up for the punishment he put her through. Jeri’s a strong woman and will really put the hurt on that leg. Assassin tries to kick her, but she hangs on. Jeri’s really working that leg and now lays it down and stomps on it. She knee drops that knee and thigh. Jeri holds it down and knee drops it again. Assassin is in serious trouble here and she knows it. She goes up while holding the leg and slams her knees into that leg. But Assassin reaches the ropes and Jeri releases the hold.

Chad: He’s really mad and will get her now. She’s had her fun, and now it’s time to pay the price.

Jessie: He’s getting up, but very gingerly, favoring that leg. Jeri moves in and kicks the knee, dropping him in his tracks. She jumps him and pulls both legs back in a reverse leglock. She’s pulling back hard, extending that knee, perhaps even trying to dislocate it.

Jeri: Come on Assassin, give or I’ll tear it off!

Jessie: Well, that shows how serious she is about punishing her opponents; not only winning, but really hurting them. This is really very unusual for a scientific wrestler.

Chad: You know, if she were more like Rose or Maria, she’d be a great contender. Maybe I’ll talk to her about that.

Jessie: As though she’d talk to you at all. Jeri has that leg in a torturous hold, just pouring on the pressure. He’s screaming, but won’t submit. The Assassin is slowly moving toward the ropes. Jeri isn’t able to hold him, his strength is too much for her. He got to them and Jeri releases the hold. She gets back to the center, waiting for Assassin. He’s up, but not moving easily at all. They lockup and Jeri pushes him into the ropes. Donna trying to break it up, but Jeri drives a knee into his belly twice before she backs off.

Chad: Some scientific wrestler; why does she get away with that?

Bob: Chad, shut up; Assassin got away with it, too.

Jessie: Yes he did. Jeri moves back in and clamps a side headlock and flip onto the mat. She’s got a strong hold and pulling on the neck, while squeezing hard on his head. He’s trying to rise, but Jeri hangs on, smashing a fist into his forehead. That will keep him down.

Chad: Hey, Quinn. That was a closed fist.

Jessie: Donna didn’t see it, so Jeri drives another fist, jarring his brain. Assassin tries to roll around, pulling Jeri up and over him, onto her shoulders, but she reverses it by kicking her legs. But he pulls her back over and gets a count, 1……….2…., her shoulder come up and she releases the headlock. Good move by Assassin. Jeri’s quickly up and grabs an arm, whipping Assassin into the ropes and nails him with a flying elbow. God, he went down hard. She pulls him up again, whips him into the ropes and catches him with a powerslam as he comes off. Jeri’s on a roll and she pulls him up for a backbreaker. Up and down hard across her left knee. Assassin screams in pain as she pushes him off.

Chad: This is all because the ref helped her. This stinks.

Bob: Yes, you do stink.

Jessie: Jeri is still not ready to end this. She stands him up and chops his throat. But she holds his tights and drives a knee into his belly, and another. Assassin is really dazed and wobbly. He tries to take a swing at Jeri, but she backs up and laughs, then dropkicks him into the ropes. He bounces off and falls on his back.

Bob: This should be ended. It’s gone on too long.

Jessie: Jeri moves in and pulls him up by an arm, whipping him into the ropes. She catches him with a perfect backflip, then sitting hard on his chest. She still won’t cover him. Jeri runs into the ropes and flies off, landing with a kneedrop across his belly. He’s really hurt, all doubled up. Jeri looks to the crowd and they want the figure-four leglock. She stomps on that bad leg, then twists it in a step-over-toehold. Assassin’s leg may require hospital care to heal it. She’s now going to the figure-four leglock. Jeri slowly puts in on, letting Assassin see what is going to happen.

Chad: Come on, hurry up end this so we can go to the next match. This is old.

Jessie: She’s got it on and Assassin doesn’t waste any time screaming his submission. This is real big win for her and an equally big loss for Assassin. Here’s the announcement. Wait, first she’s pulling his hair and sitting him up, then trying to pull off his mask. He’s fighting her, but she has the mask twisted so he can’t see anything. A chop to his throat and a knee into his back calms him down. She gives it one last yank and it’s off. She stuffs it down her leotard and struts off.

Jeri: You look better with it on.

Ring Announcer: The winner, in 13:47, Jeri Taylor.

Jessie: Let’s go to Danny with Jeri.

Danny: Good win Jeri. Do you feel it’s necessary to inflict so much punishment on your opponents? Some fans have written to me about this.

Jeri: Thanks. Yes, it is necessary because I want to show the ICWF I can wrestle with the best of them. So many of the wrestlers here resort to rough and dirty tactics, that I must do the same to make an impression. That’s the only way I’ll get better and tougher opponents. And that’s’ the only way I’ll get to a title match.

Danny: Will you keep doing this as you climb the ranks?

Jeri: Yes, unless I face a scientific opponent. Then I won’t have to resort to those tactics. But as long as these people are here, then they’ll face the full fury of my wrath. And that means serious punishment for my opponents.

Danny: That’s certainly a serious challenge. You don’t seem to be apprehensive about facing the best of the ICWF.

Jeri: No I don’t. I came here to be the best of the best. And I will do that, no matter who I face. Now, Danny, I must go clean up and get home to rest.

Danny: Thank you, Jeri, and congratulations again for a great win. Back to you, Jessie.

Jessie: Thank you Danny. She certainly has a focus on the future and knows what she wants. Fans, it’s time for another promotional spot for a team that’s really set some other feds on fire. I’m talking about Andrew Stevens and Ron Young, and let’s see that footage!

As the camera fades in, we see various rural settings. A small pool hall with a handful of men wearing cowboy hats sitting on the front porch, the camera continues on, and we see several small children being led by the hand to a small church, and finally, the camera settles on a bus station with a wooden sign that reads, “WELCOME TO FAIR OAKS, OKLAHMONA”. As the bus pulls in, 3 people climb out. One the driver, and finally, two other wide-eyed individuals.

Ron Young: <taking deep breath> Sure is good to be back home in Oklahoma! Ah, the air smells great here!

Andrew Stevens: <also takes deep breath> Sure is! Almost as sweet as back home!

Ron Young: You sayin’ it smells even cleaner in those backwoods of Canada you come from??

Andrew Stevens: Sure do! It’s great here though. Great idea of yours to take some time off before joining the ICWF. I’m lookin’ forward to it though. Momma says there’s some terrific competition there.

Ron Young: Sure is. My dad’s a big fan, and he said there’s some terrific teams around. Teams like Jennifer Sanders & Princess Python.

Andrew Stevens: Ooh! Momma says they’re real good. She says for women, they don’t wrestle too badly. Not sure if I agree with momma though. From the time we spent in the UWF & DWA, those were some awfully tough women. I used to think it was a bad thing to get beat by women, but they certainly changed my opinion.

Ron Young: My dad’s favorite is Rob Foster & the Masker Marauder, but he likes Fury too.

Andrew Stevens: Momma says there’s some teams we gotta watch out for though. She says the Body Girls, as well as Leather & Lace are plain indecent. She says we’re not allowed to go near them. Immoral she called them. Where’s your dad anyways?? <A car pulls into the bus stop>

Ron Young: There he is now. He says we’re supposed to get a few days rest, then he’ll drive us to Florida himself.

Andrew Stevens: He is?? That’s awfully decent of him.

Ron Young: Sure is!

<Fade out>

<Commercial Break>

Duffer: Ladieeeeees and gentlemen! The following bout is a one-fall match, with a fifteen minute time limit! Introducing first, from Frankfurt, Germany, “The Wonder Kid” Alex Reich!

Reich’s music is of a generic techno-style. He is wearing standard wrestling gear and a black ring jacket. Upon entering the ring, he treats the fans to a sample of his dancing ability.

Chad: What is he doing, having a seizure?

Jessie: I believe that he is trying to dance, Chad.

Bob: THAT’s dancing?!? What is it with these kids today?

Chad: Yea, things were so much simpler back in the Stone Age when you were a kid, right Brodsky?

Duffer: His opponent, accompanied to the ring by the ICWF World Champion, the Masked Marauder, and hailing from Pensacola, Florida, Rob Foster!!!!

Foster slowly makes his way to the ring, as his theme “Twilight Zone” blares over the loudspeakers. He is followed by the Marauder, who is wearing the title belt. Foster exchanges a few “kind” words with some ringside fans. He enters the ring, looks at Reich disdainfully, and grabs the mike from Duffer.

Foster: THIS?!? THIS IS THE BEST YOU COULD FIND?? I don’t want some third-rate punk who isn’t even old enough to shave yet! I WANT THE VISION! I WANT SPANGLES! AND I….WANT….KANDELSKI! And until I get them, I refuse to waste my time with someone who should be flipping burgers at Mickey Dee’s!

Foster throws the mike down and turns to leave the ring, but Reich attacks him from behind. Foster is temporarily stunned, but gains the advantage with a thumb to the eye. He whips Reich into the ropes and executes a spinebuster slam. He covers Reich for a two-count, but pulls him back up before three. After a few well-placed knee drops, Foster climbs to the top turnbuckle, and drops an elbow on the prone Reich.

Jessie: Apparently Mr. Foster is trying to make a point here.

Chad: Yea, he’s telling the ICWF to give him some real competition, not ham-and-eggers like the Disco Punk!

Bob: He better be careful, or he just may get what he wants. Calling out all three members of Femme Force was not a good move in my book!

Jessie: Foster sets Reich up for the DDT, and smashes the youngster’s head into the canvas! This one is over, Foster with the cover…one….two…NO! He pulls Reich up again!

Bob: Disqualify him right now, ref!! How much longer is that piece of garbage going to get away with this!

Jessie: Foster back to his feet, he looks over at the Marauder. The champ gives him a thumbs up, and Foster slaps on the figure four! Reich tries to hang on, but the pain is too much for him! He submits, and the referee calls for the bell!

Bob: C’mon ref, make him release the hold! The match is over!!

Chad: I don’t think the Disco Punk is going to be dancing any time soon!

Jessie: Reich has passed out from the pain!

Bob: And NOW Foster releases the hold! Somebody needs to clean his clock!

Duffer: The winner of the bout….Rob Foster!!

Foster grabs the mike from Duffer, who tries to protest but thinks again when the Marauder steps into the ring.

Foster: Fem Force, I hope you were watching, because this is what’s in store for each and every one of you! And Kandelski, when I lock the figure four on you, I just might NEVER let go!

<Commercial Break>

Jessie: It’s time now for the debut of Susan James’ latest addition to the ICWF. Lisa, anything you can tell us about “The Shadow”?

Lisa: Actually, yes. I’ve seen Yoshiko in action when she wrestled in Japan, and I’ve got to say that anyone judging her by her less than imposing size is making a very big mistake. She is very quick and agile, and she’s a lot stronger than she looks. Of course, she won’t be able to match power with the _real_ powerhouses, but this is where her technical skill at both conventional wrestling and martial arts comes into play.

Bob: I’m sure this young woman will be a tremendous addition to the ICWF. And she’s such a _NICE_ person too…..

Chad: I think I’m gonna go throw up now. Listen, Brodsky! _Nice_ gets you nowhere! It takes a killer instinct and a mean streak to make it in this business! I predict this little girl Susan James has dragged all the way from Japan will be going back there VERY quickly!

Bob: Romero, you make me sick!

Chad: Thank you.

Jessie: Enough, guys! It’s time for the fight. Let’s go down to Michael Duffer.

Michael Duffer: Ladies and gentlemen. This match is scheduled for one fall. Already in the ring, weighing in at 260 lbs…..Misterrrrrr……C!

(Mr. C is a 5’8″ tall white man with more fat than muscle. He is wearing a pair of boxing shorts and has a Mr. T haircut. He looks decidedly unimpressive, as the crowd mostly ignores him.)

Bob: Uhm…Mr. C seems to be a little out of shape.

Chad: Yeah. He looks sorta like you when you played for the Bucs, Bob.

Bob: Yeah. I….HEY!!!

Lisa: You guys are SO funny! I’m so happy to be working with such professional team.

Bob: …….

Chad: …….

Jessie: And while Bob and Chad drool all over the broadcast table, let’s get back to Michael.

Michael: Thank you, Jessie….Now then, his opponent! Hailing from Tokyo, Japan! Weighing in at 135 lbs…Being led down the aisle by her manager, Susan James…..”THE SHADOW”…..YOSHIKOOOOOO….KAAAAAAGEEEEEE!

(Bachman Turner Overdrive’s “You ain’t seen nothing yet!” starts up as Susan leads a 5’7″ tall, athletic, beautiful, young Japanese woman down the aisle. Susan is wearing a black blouse and a pair of black pants. Yoshiko is wearing a tightfitting, black two piece costume with bare midriff and legs. The top is sleeveless with KAGE embroidered in silver on the chest and the bottom is a solid black. Her black boots have KAGE written in silver letters on the sides. She wears her long, black hair loose, and she smiles and waves to the audience as she walks to the ring.)

Bob: The crowd is already taking a liking to this beautiful, young woman, cheering her all the way to the ring.

Chad: The crowd has about as much sense as a headless chicken! Who cares what they think?

Bob: You should. They pay your salary.

Chad: Uh..Like I said, the wonderful fans of the ICWF are amongst the most intelligent in the world, and if they like someone then they probably have a good reason for it.

Jessie: Yoshiko in the ring now, and she bows to Mr. C, who just glares at her and then spits on the mat.

Lisa: Now, that’s not very nice at all.

Bob: Should I go down there and make him clean it up, Lisa? Huh? Huh?

Chad: Sit down, Brodsky! You couldn’t make a five year old clean his room. If you want I can go down and force him to clean up, Lisa.

Lisa: That’s very nice of you, guys, but it’s not necessary. I’m sure someone will take care of it if it’s necessary. Aren’t they sweet, Jessie?

Jessie: Riiiiiiight…Sweet. Just the word I was looking for to describe them. Getting back to the match at hand, here’s the bell, and Mr. C immediately attacking with a forearm….Ducked by Kage….Another forearm ducked, and Mr. C looks a little irritated. He throws a punch at her, and she dodges it and spins in behind Mr. C, putting an elbow into his spine! Yoshiko on the offense now. She chops at Mr. C…And another…and another…and yet another chop! Those chops seem to have more effect than you’d expect looking at Yoshiko’s size.

Chad: Well, Mr. C isn’t exactly rock-hard muscle ya know!

Jessie: True, but just the same, Yoshiko’s small size seem to be hiding quite a respectable amount of power. Mr. C trying to get back on the offense now, and a kick actually connects with Kage, staggering her for a second…. Mr. C with an Irish whip to the ropes, and here comes Yoshiko…NICELY executed lariat takes down Mr. C the hard way! The Shadow practically bounces back to her feet immediately, while Mr. C is quite a bit slower getting up.

Bob: Well, he has more weight to get off the ground, and judging by the looks of him probably less muscle to do it with.

Chad: BIG swinging punch by Mr. C…Ducked by Kage. The man might not have a lot of muscle, but he can put a lot of weight behind those punches, so Kage better keep dodging!

Jessie: And she does just that! Here’s another swinging punch…And she BACKFLIPS away from it landing right on her feet and ready for more!

Lisa: There’s that training she’s had as a gymnast coming into play. Yoshiko has in addition to her wrestling practiced both gymnastics and martial arts for many years.

Jessie: Yes, she’s quite a proficient athlete it would seem. Yoshiko off the ropes and a flying clothesline takes Mr. C right down to the mat. Kage turning up the pace of the match now. She picks Mr. C up….SWINGING NECKBREAKER!

Bob: OUCH! That reminds me of a neck injury I got once while playing for the Bucs….

Chad: To bad it wasn’t a more serious one, then I might not have had to listen to you every show. The Shadow picks Letter Man up from the floor…Suplex! How did that little slip of a girl get that big man up and over like that?

Bob: Looks like she _IS_ a lot stronger than you’d first think.

Jessie: And Yoshiko bounces right back up again immediately. She is obviously very agile and quick, as we have been seeing here today. Mr. C gets back on his feet and the two of them lock up….Mr. C BITES Yoshiko!!!

Lisa: Uh oh.

Jessie, Bob & Chad: Uh oh?

Lisa: Uh oh! Normally Yoshiko is a very nice and happy person, but she can get angry…and I think Mr. C accomplished just that.

Chad: So? What can someone that small do anyway…..OUCH!!

Jessie: Ouch indeed! Yoshiko just ripped herself loose from Mr. C and delivered a blindingly fast spinning kick to his head. Now she follows that up with a thrust kick to the face…..Enzuigiri, and Mr. C is staggering from the relentless attacks…HEADBUTT to the bridge of Mr. C’s nose! That looks REALLY painful!

Lisa: Yup…He made her angry.

Bob: Yoshiko off the ropes while Mr. C is just standing there dazed…Flying headscissors and she brings him down to the mat.

Jessie: Kage back on her feet and off the ropes again…Handspring moonsault, and Mr. C is in pain! She’s back up and running off the ropes once more while Mr. C gets back to his feet…..And he is slammed right back down by a flying shoulderblock! Yoshiko back up, and she’s picking up Mr. C and now she’s running off the ropes again! OH MY!

Chad: Jumping side kick which almost took Mr. C’s head off! He staggers back to his feet and is met by a dropkick which sends him into the corner!

Jessie: Yoshiko right on top of him, and a monkey flip brings Mr. C right back out of the corner the hard way….Yoshiko climbing to the to the top turnbuckle….And she MOONSAULTS onto the prone Mr. C! She could finish this one anytime now!

Lisa: And that’s just what she’s setting up for now. Mr. C is completely dazed and unable to defend against what’s coming next….Watch this guys!

Bob: What’s she doing…She’s pulling Mr. C to his feet….

Chad: I don’t know, but it doesn’t look good for Letter Man…Kage off the ropes, and….OOOOWWWW!!!

Jessie: Oh my goodness! Yoshiko just came off the ropes with what I can only describe as some sort of flying spinning kick to Mr. C’s head! He is out cold!

Lisa: That’s the Shadow Tornado! Her finisher. She developed that while wrestling in Japan as Shadow before she hooked up there with Susan James and Susan’s sister, Janet.

Chad: Stick a fork in him. He’s not getting up again.

Bob: 1…2…3, and this one’s over. Impressive showing by the newcomer.

Michael Duffer: The winner of this match…..”THE SHADOW”…YOSHIKOOOOO…KAAAAGEEEEEE!

Jessie: She bows to the unconscious Mr. C and leaves the ring with Susan James. Let’s go to Danny who will try to get an interview.

(The camera cuts to the interview platform where Danny Lopez is standing with Yoshiko and Susan)

Danny: Congratulations on your victory, Miss Kage.

Yoshiko: Thank you very much.

Danny: Susan, it looks like you have another fine addition to the ICWF. Where do you find all of them?

Susan: Well, Danny, I come from a wrestling family, and I have been managing for several years, so naturally I have made some contacts and friends in the business. I met Yoshiko in Japan while I was managing my sister, Janet James, who wrestles in another federation, over there. I actually ended up managing both Janet and Yoshiko when they tagged up together, and we quickly became very good friends, so when I saw the opportunity to bring her into the ICWF I leapt at the phone and…Well, as they say the rest is history.

Danny: Miss Kage, some people have commented on your lack of size compared to many other competitors.

Yoshiko: Yes, I am used to that, Danny-sama. Actually, people underestimating me like that is just to my advantage. Anyone who judges me by my size is in for a nasty surprise.

(Yoshiko smiles and waves at the spectators who erupt into loud cheering and whistling)

Danny: So you feel confident you can compete in the ICWF then?

Yoshiko: Most certainly. Like I have said before, size does not matter as much as skill.

(She smiles at Danny)

Danny: Ah…Heh…Yes, indeed. I guess Mr. C can testify to that. You seemed to lose your temper there in the end. We all thought you were such a nice and calm person.

(Yoshiko giggles and grins at Danny)

Yoshiko: It’s true that I try to be nice to people, but sometimes only one thing will help improve their manners. Mr. C-san was insulting me all through the match, and when he finally decided to bite me I had had enough. I may try to be a nice person, but he just went too far, and I had to teach him a lesson about the value of good manners.

Danny: Heh…Indeed. Well, I think this is all we have time for, so thank you both, and let’s go back to the gang at the broadcast table.

Yoshiko: Thank YOU, Danny-sama. It has been an honor being interviewed by such a professional broadcast journalist.

(Yoshiko bows to Danny and then she and Susan leave)

Danny: What a _NICE_, young woman. We could use more like her around here. Back to you guys, Jessie.

Jessie: Well, by contrast to Yoshika’s courtesy and respect, here comes someone with none of those traits. Nabiki Yen is slated to appear, and her style and attitude differ drastically.

Chad: Yeah–and I *like* her style and attitude. It’s a refreshing change from all this goody-good crap we’ve had shoved down our throats.

Bob: Chad, you make me sick! We see some wrestlers who have decency and honor, and you call them “goody-goods”? They’re exactly the kind of competitors the ICWF needs!

Chad: *Yawn* Did you say somethin’, Dopesky?

Jessie: Our competitors are in the ring, and here we go! Nabiki with a quick kick to the midsection of Joan Gless, she immediately nails her with a piledriver. Nabiki whips her into the ropes and STICKS her with her superkick. She looks like she wants to go for a cover…she’s leaving the ring!

Bob: What in the world is she doing?

Chad: She probably got bored with her worthless opponent.

Jessie: Nabiki Yen is walking around ringside… she’s talking to a fan and giving him money… the fan climbs over the railing and goes in to the ring and lies on to of Gless.. The ref is totally confused…Nabiki enters the ring and tells the ref to count Gless out. The ref refuses, and the fan stands up. Nabiki grabs the fan and tosses him over the top rope and then pulls up Gless by the hair… Nabiki stands back and superkicks her again! Yen for the cover… 1… 2… 3!!!!

Bob: Dis-GRACE-ful!

Chad: (Laughing) That’s a woman after my own heart! If my stable didn’t have it already, that is….

Jessie: Danny’s down there with the post-match interview. Danny?

Danny: Thanks, Jess. Nabiki Yen, what was the meaning of that?

Yen: <chuckling> You don’t think I wanted to actually touch that person too much, did you? So I didn’t think it would be a problem to buy someone to do it. Not that it matters anymore, because I have found the most perfect bodyguard–Mister Andrews. Come on out, hon.

(Out walks a tall blond, very muscular guy, wearing a gray tank top and shades. He stops beside her and crosses his arms.)

Yen: Mister Andrews, say hello to all the wonderful fans out there on TV.

(Andy nods)

Yen: <smiles> I’ve shown what I can do in and out of the ring. I have one more thing to impress upon you. I will show you that soon enough. Let’s go.

(They walk away.)

<Commercial Break>

Jessie: Next up, we’ve got Taskmaster, back from some sort of spiritual sabbatical, taking on one of our…odder wrestlers, the Gravedigger. Let’s go to Lisa with an interview.

(Shot of Lisa, standing next to a tall man, with his hat pulled down low, and a short, pudgy man who’s clothes don’t seem to fit. The small man clutches a large, metallic container to his chest. Both men wear black.)

Lisa: Thanks, honey…I mean Jessie. …umm, I’m here with the Gravedigger and his manager the Mortician. Now, Mortician, I understand you’ve got a very special surprise lined up for Taskmaster tonight. Would you care to elaborate a little?

Mort: Ohhhhhhhhh, yesssss. I do have a very special surprise for you! Taskmaster, you should never have turned away from the darkside, and the power in my urn! The URN! OHHHHHHH, yes! My Urn, my Gravedigger, my URN! OHHHHHHH, no, Taskmaster! OHHHHHHHHHHH, yes!

Lisa: Thank you…Gravedigger, how do you plan to counter Taskmaster’s well- known aerial excellence?

Grave: Mutter, mutter…grumble, mutter. Pause, mutter, mutter, more mutter. …Rest…in…peaceeeeeee.

Mort: (squealing so loud the windows are shaking)OHHHHHHHH, yes! My Gravedigger can feel the power of my URN!!!!! The URN!! THE URN!!! OOHHHHHHHH, yes!

Lisa: And…back to you, Jessie.

Chad: Well, that was informative. You know, normally I’d cheer for whoever was facing Taskmaster, but that guy’s gimmick is just way too much!

Bob: Yeah, and did you ever notice how that urn gets bigger every week?

Chad: Yeah, and did you ever walk by one of the hot dog stands and see TWO gravediggers standing there?

Bob: And, did you ever notice…

Jessie: ALL RIGHT! Let’s go to Mike Duffer…

MD: Ladies and Gentlemen…Let’s get ready to RUMBLE! This bout is scheduled for one fall. To my left, accompanied to the ring by his manager, the Mortician.

(A funeral dirge plays as the lights go dim). From Death Valley, Arizona, and weighing in at 342 lbs. Here is the Gravedigger!

(The crowd is silent as the gruesome twosome make their way to the ring area. Some are frightened by the Gravedigger’s presence, some by his apparent supernatural powers, but most are just stunned by his stupid- looking skull mask.)

MD: And, his opponent…from Salem, Massachusetts, and weighing in at 134 lbs., here is Taskmaster!

Chad: Hey, where’s Taskmaster? (Chad’s answer comes walking down to ringside. She comes to ringside dressed in a revealing leather outfit, which she sheds as soon as she hits the ring to show an even more revealing leather bikini.)

Jessie: I guess, folks, this is what Taskmaster calls her new look.

Chad: Nummy!

Jessie: Romero, I would expect such a sexist remark from you. Bob, do you want to start the commentary? Bob…Bob?

Bob: (Whispers) Leather…hmmm, leather.

Jessie: And the Gravedigger starting out the match by charging Taskmaster before the bell. And we see a flurry of fists from the man from the dark side. The leather warrior doesn’t seem to putting up much of a fight.

Chad: Well, at least her strategy hasn’t changed.

Jessie: And a whip to the ropes by the Gravedigger. Taskmaster off…Gravedigger with a flying clothesline…no! A duck under by Taskmaster! Gravedigger getting back to his feet, and a dropkick from Taskie! Gravedigger out to the ringside area!

Chad: And now the big man seems to be discussing something with his manager. They don’t seem to seem his opponent off the opposite ropes…baseball slide! The Gravedigger got that one right in the mush!

{Bob: I guess we know why he wears the mask. Taskmaster comes out of the ring to continue the fight…leather…smooth leather.

Chad: So, tell me, Bob. What’s it like to be a rocket scientist?

Bob: Huh…what? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.

Jessie: While my dimwitted colleges have been working through their IQ crises, Gravedigger has gotten the upper hand on the Taskmaster. He’s tossed her back into the ring and is now working her over with a one handed choke in the corner. The ref’s warning him…he breaks the hold…only to put it back on again!

Bob: And we’re getting a good look at that arm of his. Chad, what is that tattoo he’s got there? It looks like some kind of ugly, ichor dripping monster from hell!

Chad: Well, my sources tell me it’s a picture of his mother-in-law…

Bob: Taskmaster in a lot of trouble here, and I don’t think it’s helping that the fans don’t seem to know if they should cheer for her or not.

Chad: Yeah, like the fans do anyone in the ring any good anyway. Get real, Brodsky.

Jessie: Taskmaster continuing to be worked over in the corner as…the fans seem to be starting to come alive here…hey! Isn’t that Arlechino coming from the locker room?

Chad: Great! That’ll make four losers at ringside! Funny how the only woman down there is wearing the least amount of makeup!

Jessie: Anyway! The ref forces the Gravedigger back, he gets past the ref and charges…and meets a boot by Taskmaster. She’s climbing up to the top rope…flying clothesline! She picks him back up…a whip to the ropes…Back body drop!

Bob: And now we see Taskie on the offense…and Arlechino seems to be pumping up the crowd on Taskmaster’s behalf! She seems surprised by his presence…

Jessie: …but confident as well as she grabs the Gravedigger by the hair and pulls him to his feet…now, she’s got him over her shoulder…it looks like…Tombstone Piledriver! Using his own finisher against him, that’s cruel!

Chad: Oh well, at least now he knows what it feels like to be an inch shorter.

Jessie: An academic cover and a 1…2…3!

MD: Your winner, Taskmaster!

TM: (Looking into the nearest camera) Can you guess who’s next?

Chad: Arlechino better hope it’s not him! After all, Taskmaster is pretty unpredictable…you never know when she’ll turn on you! Maybe, one day Arlechino will wake up with a horse head in his bed!

Bob: What?

Chad: Hey, I can dream, can’t I?

Jessie: Let’s go down to Lisa for an interview.

Lisa: Hello, Jessie, and I’m here with Taskmaster and Arlechino. First question, Taskmaster, you’ve put away an opponent tonight who bears more than a passing resemblance to your former partner, Soultaker. Is your battle with him really over?

Task: My battle with Soultaker is my battle with my own dark side…that battle will never be truly over.

Lisa: What did you think tonight of Arlechino coming down to ringside?

Task: Well, I’m not sure… I told him I was willing to help against the Dark Pact, but I didn’t expect… I’m just not sure.

Lisa: Arlechino?

Ar: Well, Lisa, I thought my friend, Taskmaster (puts his arm around Taskmaster’s shoulders) needed some support tonight. I know she’s not used to having people be there for her, so I thought I’d come on down. Hey, you know me! It’s not a party unless you crash!

Lisa: Taskmaster, now that you and Arlechino seemed to have formed an alliance, will you be going after any tag-team belts?

Task: Well…(Taskmaster seems nervous about Arlechino being so close. Arlechino, seeing her discomfort, withdraws his arm and gives his trademark cocky smile. Taskie hesitates for a moment, then takes her whip from her belt. In one fluid motion, she wraps it around Arlechino and pulls him close for a passionate kiss. Arlechino, stunned at first, soon responds in kind.)

Lisa: Umm, guys? Hello, cameras are rolling. yoohoo? Kids are watching? Umm, let’s go to commercial.

<Commercial Break>

Jessie: This next match is an exhibition between two really good wrestlers. Both Karla and the Black Mamba are tough, relentless fighters, and Mamba is quite a high-flyer.

Chad: Wait ’til you see what Karla does to this Black Mama!

Jessie: That’s Mamba, not mama! It is a very dangerous snake, most deadly in the world.

Bob: Yeah, Chad, you should know what a snake is. You’re quite a well-known snake-in-the-grass.

Chad: Shut up, cockroach. Here’s Duffer with the announcements.

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen. This next match is an exhibition match, one fall with a 20 minute time limit, specially arranged for the visiting European Women’s’ Champion. Entering the ring, led by her manager, Marie LaFite, at 169 lbs., from Zaire, Africa, the European Women’s’ Champion, The Black Mamba. (A beautiful black woman enters with her manager, wearing a dashiki and head piece. She removes them, revealing a leopard skin two-piece thong bikini, and matching boots. She ignores the crowd, who knows nothing about her.)

(“Hit Me With Your Best Shot” by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts plays loudly. The crowd starts booing and jeering as Karla starts down toward the ring. She wears a camouflage jacket, which she removes to reveal camouflage thong bikini bottom, matching crop-top, and black boots.)

Now entering the ring, at 179 lbs., from New York City, here’s Kommando Karla. The referee is Donna Quinn.

Jessie: This should be a great matchup. Mamba is taking on wrestlers all across the country on this trip. She’s scheduled to wrestle Hogan and Savant on her return through Florida. She’s working on a match with ICWF champions, but nothing has resulted so far. From all I’ve read, she’s a high-flyer who can mix it up with the best of them. We’ll see how she does against a rough customer like Karla.

Chad: Karla will show her the door real quick. Probably kick her butt out the door. But, ya know, if she comes to the ICWF, I could manage her and add her name to that great stable of champions I have, or will have soon.

Bob: Nice try Chad. Why would a European Champ want to come here and deal with you? You don’t add much more than a big mouth. She could find one of those in Europe.

Jessie: Okay you two. Lighten up; kiss and make up and no more fighting. Here’s the bell. Mamba comes out fast. WOW! A spin kick to Karla’s head, a second from the opposite side, sending Karla down hard. Mamba’s laughing as she pulls Karla up by her hair. A hard chop across the throat and Karla’s gagging, holding her throat. Mamba holds her up and knees her groin. Quinn’s having a hard time controlling this match. She warns Mamba, but the Champ just goes around her and grabs Karla’s arm, twisting it into a hammerlock. Now a hair pull takedown and she’s got Karla really hurting.

Chad: This champ is really something. She would fit in with Rose, Maria, and Elena just right.

Jessie: Karla’s trying to get to the ropes and the crowd is behind her, cheering her on. This is the only time you’ll ever hear them cheer her on. Karla’s got the ropes and Donna’s pulling Mamba off.

Bob: Start the 5-count and disqualify her.

Chad: You dummy! And miss the best wrestling this side of Rose and Elena?

Jessie: Karla’s getting up, but she’s hurt and dazed. Mamba moves in and throws Karla across the ring. She dropkicks Karla as she came off the ropes, sending her crashing to the mat. Mamba climbs to the top rope and flies into Karla as she rises. Both go down in a heap, but Mamba gets up, leaning against the ropes to rest. It looks like she might have hurt herself with the landing. Karla tries to get up, but Mamba nails her with a boot to her chest. Karla clutches her chest, hurt, and Mamba drops an elbow on her neck, sending her to the mat.

Chad: Maybe Karla should end this now and save the pain.

Bob: No, she’s a fighter and will see this to the end, good or bad.

Jessie: Karla hasn’t done a thing yet. A stomp to her back and Donna pushes Mamba back. But here she comes again. She pulls Karla’s hair and lifts her for a bodyslam. But Karla’s kicking her legs, trying to get Mamba off balance. Mamba’s trying to slam her, but she’s falling back, into the ropes. Karla falls over the ropes and lands on her feet on the floor. Mamba fell over the top rope and fell to the floor. Karla now puts the boots to her, kicking and stomping her back and neck. She drops a knee into her head. This looks like the Karla we know.

Chad: Way to go, Karla, baby. I knew you could do it.

Bob: Oh sure, now you know she could do it. What baloney!

Jessie: Karla pulls her up and throws Mamba into the guard rails. Now she climbs back into the ring. She looks more ready now, but that beating must have taken a toll on her. Mamba gets back in, but Karla kicks her belly, then drives a kneelift into her face. God, that sent her back across the ring. Mamba tries to get up, but Karla has her head and slams a knee into that face. She’s got her up, running her head into the turnbuckle. No, Mamba reversed it and threw Karla into the corner and followed her with a knee to the back. She’s got Karla trapped and keeps ramming her face into the turnbuckle. She’s opened up a bad cut over Karla’s left eye. The blood is running down her face.

Bob: This is really looking bad now. I thought Karla was coming back, but this could have finished her off.

Jessie: Maybe so, Bob. Mamba runs across the ring and hits her with a perfect flying dropkick. Karla falls back into the corner, looking dazed and hurt. She’s definitely giving a clinic on dishing out punishment. Mamba’s strutting around the ring, flexing her arms, chest and back muscles. She looks good, but Karla is much better built, though she’s in no shape to show us. There’s a flying dropkick into Karla’s chest sending her back into the corner. She loves dropkicks and flying into opponents. Mamba gets up and laughs at Karla. She’s taunting her.

Mamba: Why you no come out and fight? You supposed to be so great, but you nothing. I can kill you when I want. You nothing but baby.

Chad: Mamba better take this seriously. Karla doesn’t play when she’s angry. She hurts people.

Jessie: You’re right, but Mamba believes she’s won this. She finally walks over to Karla and slaps her several times, laughing at her. She pulls Karla out and lifts her; no, Karla slammed a fist into her belly, and again, and a third time. Mamba backs off, but Karla connects with a hard left, right combo to her head, stunning Mamba. Donna warns her, but Karla ignores her and grabs Mamba’s hair, putting her in a front headlock. There’s that kneelift to her face and Mamba is sent backward, almost falling on her back.

Chad: I hope this comeback lasts.

Bob: Look at Karla. She’s really angry and ready to kill.

Jessie: Karla has her up in a gorilla press and slams her back into the corner. She’s never done that, and Mamba will feel that for a while. Mamba’s pleading for mercy and Karla gives it to her, with a kneedrop to her head. Karla has her up, oh my, she’s got her up for a suplex. Look at that! She’s holding Mamba up and now falls back, dropping the European Champion on her back and neck. God, did she bounce! Now it’s Karla’s turn to tease.

Karla: Hey, Champ, how are ya doin’? Come on, we’re goin’ for another ride.

Jessie: Karla’s really jazzed now. Look at her go to town. She’s got Mamba up for another suplex. There she goes. Mamba lands with a thud, bouncing and not rising. Karla up very quickly, pulling Mamba up by her hair, putting her in a standing headscissors, Guys, we know what’s next, don’t we?

Bob: Here comes the piledriver. Whoa, Nellie! What a landing, bouncing Mamba around the ring.

Chad: I’ll bet she’s two inches shorter now.

Jessie: Karla’s not stopping. She has Mamba in a headlock, twisting the neck and squeezing her head. With those arms, she’ll give Mamba a severe headache. Switches to a front headlock, maybe a chokehold, but Donna can’t tell. Karla’s hiding her hold from Donna, and Donna just starts counting. Karla releases at 4, then clamps it on again. This time she drives a knee into Mamba’s face. Oh God, she’s opened a cut on Mamba’s mouth; a split lip. The Champion is really dazed and can’t focus on the match. She’s just staggering around the ring. This is becoming a massacre.

Chad: Now Karla should finish her. Yup, here it is, another piledriver. And who cares if it’s a massacre? Karla’s doing a complete job.

Jessie: She’s got Mamba up and in a standing headscissors, ready for a piledriver, but dances around, twisting her neck between her knees. Now Karla has her up and a bad landing for Mamba, sending her sprawling across the ring. Donna’s looking at her, but Mamba’s still moving.

Karla: Hey, Champ. Watch me fly, just like you.

Jessie: Karla flies off the top rope, landing across Mamba’s chest with a knee. Karla goes up again and drops with an elbow right on Mamba’s throat. Donna warns her and pushes her away, but Karla goes around her and somersaults on Mamba, landing on her back, across Mamba’s chest.

Karla: Come on Quinn, count her out.

Jessie: Donna’s counting, 1……….2……., Karla lifts her up

Karla: Ref, you’re too damn slow. Now try again.

Jessie: Karla slams a fist into Mamba’s chest, then pins her again. There it is, 1……….2……….3, and it’s finally over. Karla rises and kicks Mamba in the back as she leaves the ring.

Ring Announcer: The winner in a time of 16:47, the ICWF’s own Kommando Karla.

Jessie: What a win. That was one of the most brutal matches we’ve had on ICWF TV. Let’s go to Danny Lopez with the winner.

Danny: Karla, what a win! You really showed a lot of heart and ability in coming back and beating the European Champion. Even the crowd was behind you.

Karla: Thanks, Danny. She’s a good fighter, but not as good as me. I showed her what a real wrestler can do to her. The crowd was behind me, but I don’t care about them. They’ll hate me again next week. So scr*w the crowd! And another thing, that Quinn better not get in my way again or she’s dead meat! I’m tired of her interference! Whose side is she on?

Danny: Donna Quinn is the best ref in the ICWF and is very impartial. Now Karla, does this win put you in contention for an ICWF belt?

Karla: Hell yes, I’ll take on any of those Champions and win their belt. This should prove my greatness, once and for all. I’m the best and you all saw it tonight! And Quinn stinks as a ref. Just plain stinks.

Danny: Well, that’s your opinion. Thank you and good luck in your very bright future.

Karla: Thanks, Danny. I will say that I want the World belt first. Then I’ll think about winning the others.

Danny: That’s it from here! We’ll go to commercial and be back after these messages.

<Commercial Break>

Jessie: This next match will be a real barnburner. That’s a little cowboy humor, guys.

Chad: Forget it, Jessie. Stick to announcing.

Bob: It was very funny. You should joke more often.

Jessie: Anyway, this match pits two teams that hate each other. The Apache Warriors are always out for blood and the Texas Rangers love to destroy opponents. Here’s Mike Duffer with the announcements.

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen. This next match is one fall with a 60 minute time limit. Entering the ring, from the back country of West Texas, at a combined weight of 503 lbs., Cowboy Bob Ellis and Ranger Roddy Rogers, the Texas Rangers. (“Deep In the Heart of Texas”, plays loudly. Two western-dressed wrestlers walk down the aisle, slapping hands and growling at the fans as they come down. The fans boo and yell at them, a few crumpled peanut bags fly toward them. They wear large, black ten-gallon hats, western fringed vests and chaps, which they remove to show blue trunks with a sunset on the butt.)

Now entering the arena, from Bisbee, Arizona, at a combined weight of 355 lbs., Tanya and Maria Mankiller, the Apache Warriors. (The crowd boos and yells, but the girls strut down the aisle; the Queens “Another One Bites the Dust” plays loudly. They wear fringed leather jackets, which they remove to show black bikini bottoms, leather fringed crop tops, and leather knee-high moccasin-boots. The crowd boos, but there are some cheers. They shout back at the crowd and make a few faces at them.)

The referee is the great Donna Quinn.

Jessie: These two really hate each other, especially Maria, who loves to fight these cowboys. What do you guys think about this? Wait, the Cowboys want to say something.

Ranger Rogers: Hey fans, how ’bout them Cowboys! Those Steelers weren’t nothin’. Dallas turned ’em inside out! (More boos from the fans.)

Jessie: Really a very humble team. No ego problem here.

Bob: I think the Cowboys will pull this out. It will be a long match, but the ‘boys will win because of their strength.

Chad: God what a moron. The Apache Warriors will win in about 5 or 6 minutes. End of discussion. These guys are bozos and the class and abilities of the Apaches will show.

Jessie: It’s always a pleasure to analyze these matches with you two experts. Here’s the bell. Maria and Ellis start. They lockup and a big forearm by Ellis stuns Maria. Look at her glare. Another clinch and he pushes her into the ropes. A knee to her belly, another and a chop to her throat. Donna’s trying to break it up, but he brushes her aside and sends a knee deep into her belly. He grabs her hair and pulls her to the corner, trapping her as he knees her gut. Donna counting and he steps back at the 4 count. Ellis charges back at her and grabs her hair, ramming the back of her head into the turnbuckle. Donna pushes him off and Maria sinks to the mat.

Bob: This doesn’t look good for the Apaches. She hasn’t even had a chance to get in this match. I’ve never seen Maria take this kind of punishment.

Chad: She’ll win. Look at her. She’s a power machine.

Jessie: Well, this machine looks likes she needs an overhaul. Ellis clamps on a front headlock, looks like a choke, but Donna can’t tell from her angle. She’s trying to check, but Ellis keeps moving away. Now she’s counting and he releases at 4. Another warning, but he just smiles and goes back to work. Maria is staggering around, trying to get to Tanya, but Ellis grabs an arm and pulls her into his corner. He’s got her up and a big bodyslam bounces her off the mat. There’s the tag and Rogers flies off the top rope into her belly with an elbow drop. She’s really hurt.

Chad: If only she can get to Tanya!

Bob: Yeah, and if only you would shut up.

Jessie: Rogers throws her into the ropes, but she grabs them and hangs on. He struts to her and drives a shoulder into belly. Again, but they both fall through the ropes and onto the floor. They’re right here next to us and Rogers landed on top of Maria. This is all she needed on top of the beating she got. But here comes Tanya, stomping on Rogers’ back and head. She has him up and a kneelift sends him crashing into the guardrail. Ellis runs over and dives into Tanya, driving a forearm into her throat. She falls back hurt, clutching her throat. Ellis pulls her up and nails her with a forearm smash to her face. He’s going after the wrong wrestler.

Chad: What a jerk. He should go after Maria. She’s the legal wrestler. The Cowboy hauls up Rogers and rolls him back into the ring before the 20 count, but Maria is also up and getting back in. WOW! Tanya just levelled Ellis from behind with a tremendous double-ax handle chop to his left kidney; then another. He’s down and rolling around in pain. Serves him right.

Jessie: Rogers tried to stop Maria from coming back in, but she grab his hair and headbutted him. He’s backing up and she grabs him again and another headbutt. He looks dazed so to help him out, she puts on a side headlock, twisting and grinding, really pouring on the pressure and pain. She turns away from Donna and pounds his face with a couple of fast jabs. She calls that rocking and rolling; she’s definitely throwing the rocks and his head is rolling in pain.

Bob: Looks like the Warriors are now in control. They never give up control when they take over. Aren’t you going to say “stick a fork in this one, he’s done”?

Jessie: It may be a little early for that. Donna finally breaks it up and Maria just returns with another headlock. She takes off running into her corner and smashes his head into Tanya’s boot. She tags and Tanya comes in. She pulls up Rogers into a bodyslam and runs him into the mat with a powerslam. He’ll need traction after that. She’s got him up again and drops his back against the turnbuckle, then knees his head while he’s hanging upside down. These women are really strong! Rogers goes up again and she slams him into the mat with another powerslam. She has him up by the hair and throws him into the ropes, clotheslining him as he comes off. Wow, he won’t get up for a while. Tanya sits him up and drops an elbow square on his forehead. He’s in a daze, but I don’t think the women are ready to end this. Another elbow drop and even we can see the stars from here. Rogers is really out of it. She pulls him up and throws him into her corner, where Maria greets him with an elbow to his head, sending him down hard. Here comes Ellis, but Donna stops him and pushes him back. But while she’s busy with Ellis, both Warriors stomp and kick Rogers. Maria jumps out of the ring before Donna sees her

Bob: Here comes Ellis and Donna’s distracted again. The women are going to town on Rogers, Maria with a big elbow drop into his belly and Tanya a kneedrop across the chest.

Jessie: The Apaches are talking and maybe this is it. Tanya picks up Rogers in a bearhug and throws him up on the top rope in her corner. This could be the “Little Big Horn” as she calls it. Tanya climbs to the second rope, hauls Rogers up in a high bearhug and jumps backward, spinning in mid-air. Oh my God! What a horrible landing, smashing Rogers’ head and back into the mat, and Tanya landing with full force on top. This should be it. No, she picks him up and tags Maria. He can barely stand. He’s groggy and wobbly. Maria enters over the top rope with a flying elbow into his head. How much more can he take?

Chad: She’s here to add the dessert to the main course.

Jessie: She places him on the top rope, too, and this time Maria also grabs him in a bearhug and jumps backward, but HOLY ****! She drops to one knee and smashes his groin into the upright knee, just like a backbreaker, but she calls this the “Nutcracker Sweet” Look at Rogers rolling in anguish, and look at the satisfaction on her face. She stands on his upperarms, pinning him.

Maria: Hey, Cowboy, is this how you won the West? Huh, tell me, say something. What’s a matter, you hurt?

Jessie: There’s the count, 1……….2……….3, and thank God, it’s over.

Ring Announcer: The winners, in 17:47, the Apache Warriors.

(A chorus of boos mixed with some cheers rain down on them)

Jessie: Let’s go to, no wait, the Warriors have Ellis trapped in a corner, kicking and kneeing him. Donna’s trying to break it up, but they pushed her aside and are punching and kicking Ellis. Rogers is trying to get up, but Tanya elbow drops his head, then pulls him up and throws him into Ellis. Now the Warriors are leaving the ring.

Danny: We’re here with the winners, the Apache Warriors. That was a good tough win, girls.

Tanya: Girls? You see any girls here? We’re women and we proved how good we are. Look at those two “tough” bums. We women, W-O-M-E-N, are here to kick butt. Girls play with dolls, we wrestle with bums.

Maria: Yeah, and we’re tired of that. We want real competition, someone like the Body Girls, the Snakes, the Zents, or Amazons. We’ll take ’em in tag or singles matches. We don’t want any more bums. We came to the ICWF to prove our abilities, but you guys keep shoving clowns in front of us. In both singles and tag matches, we want real opponents, not these cowboys who ride wooden horses.

Danny: Well, who……

Tanya: We want Foster and Moron, or whatever his name is. You know, the guy who beat that skinny champ, the Vision in Violet. You guys are so tough, prove it. Come on, enter the ring against the best, if you dare. And in singles we want the top contenders if we can’t get a champ to wrestle one of us.

Danny: One more thing. About that Nutcracker……

Maria: Hey, you got a problem? The ref didn’t say anything so why should you? Ask Perry or Shaw, see if they say it’s illegal. We’re going and don’t ever call us girls again. We’re WOMEN APACHE WARRIORS! And Foster and Moron, we’re waiting.

Danny: Boy, good thing Sam didn’t handle that interview! Back to you, Jess!

Jessie: Coming up next here, you’re not going to believe this…”The Hunter” Kassandra Helman puts her ICWF TV title on the line against…”Gorgeous” Gretchen Gwynne? What’s the Kingpin trying to do here? Chad: I think he’s cleaning house, personally. I know his stable is just huge, and it’s got to be a strain. I think he wants to keep the winner, and dump the loser. Bob: Sounds like the Kingpin… Jessie: Well, let’s go to the ring, I guess, for the introductions… (At this point, Kassandra is introduced as the champion, and Gretchen is introduced as the challenger. The Kingpin is introduced by himself. The bell rings, and Kassandra immediately lays down, Gretchen covers her with one finger, and the match is over.) Jessie: What the hell is he trying to pull here?! Bob: That’s the second time we’ve seen that already this year! Chad: First the Body Girls, and now Gretchen Gwynne! I love it! Solidifying from within! Jessie: Well, it appears we have a new TV champion, and…whoa! (Gretchen suddenly catches Helman with a superkick to the throat. She drops to the ground hard, and Gwynne is all over her. The Kingpin nonchalantly gets into the ring, and picks up the TV belt. Gretchen sets Helman up in the patented position, and drops her with a piledriver. She picks Helman up and delivers a second, third, fourth, and fifth piledriver. Kassandra is out cold.) Chad: FIVE-DRIVER! FIVE-DRIVER! Gwynne just put Helman out of action for good! Bob: I can’t possibly imagine what this is all about… Jessie: Kass is hurt badly…we gotta get some help in there.

(The Kingpin secures the belt around Gwynne’s waist, and raises her hand in victory. The crowd voices its disapproval.

Bob: This is disgusting! Helman may not have played by the rules, but she was a great TV champion and deserves better than this! The fans telling him what they think, and…wait a minute, who’s that running down to the ring??

Chip: Wait a minute, that’s the Marauder! He wanted a shot at Helman, maybe he’s here to congratulate Gwynne for putting her out!

Jessie: Kingpin and Gwynne turn around, and the Marauder nails them both with a double clothesline, sending them over the top rope and down to the floor!

Bob: The Marauder HELPING Kassandra Helman? What’s going on around here?

Jessie: Fury now making their way down to the ring! The odds are against the World Champion!

Kingpin’s forces start to enter the ring, but back off when Rob Foster joins his partner in the ring with a chair. The Body Girls join them shortly afterward, and the two sides exchange words. Eventually the usual pack of officials and jobbers come out to separate the two camps.

Jessie: Obviously the war is not over yet between these two groups! But the Marauder’s interference is not enough to save Kassandra Helman, who may have fought her last bout here in the ICWF.

Chip: Why do they have to fight each other? Why can’t they all gang up on Arlechino or Femme Force, people who REALLY need to be beaten to a pulp!

Jessie: Marauder’s got Helman in his arms, and is carrying her back to the dressing area. Let’s head to commercial!

<Commercial Break>

Jessie: Folks, we’re back, and in the aftermath of that surprise run-in from the Masked Marauder, the Kingpin has skipped out on his interview. Let’s go to the ring for the introductions of the *next* bout, with newcomer Bobbie Bathgate.

Michael Duffer: Ladies and gentlemen…this contest is one fall with a ten minute time limit. Introducing first, already in the ring…from Detroit, Michigan…weighing in at 302 lbs….Big Daddy Cold…EDSEL!!!

(The crowd kind of cheers, but mostly laughs.)

And his opponent…from Brooklyn, New York…weighing 134 lbs….”Bouncing” Bobbie Bathgate.

(The dressing room curtain opens, and out steps the Kingpin, who walks down to ringside. The crowd ERUPTS into boos. He takes the microphone from Duffer.)

Kingpin: Listen up, people. There *is* no Bobbie Bathgate. Bobbie Bathgate was just a disguise so we could get our hands on that rotten Arlechino. (The crowd boos.) I’d like to introduce to you… (The opening chords of “Sweetest Perfection” by Depeche Mode begin to play.) From Lake Charles, Louisiana…weighing in at 134 lbs….the next United States champion…this is VIXXXEN!!!

(Vixxxen steps out of the curtains, and the crowd is in shock. She is a tall red-head, with an incredible sculpted body. She is wearing…well…pretty close to nothing, and carries a towel around her neck.)

Chad: WOW! Now there’s a change!

Jessie: Vixxxen is…well….I don’t know *what* to say about her!

Bob: Uh….ummm……..uh……

Chad: Exactly, Bobby. Wow! Now *that’s* a woman…

(Vixxxen steps into the ring, and the bell rings. Edsel doesn’t know what to make of her. She circles him, then locks up. He fires her across the ring into the ropes, she leapfrogs the big 7 footer, then catches him with a PERFECT dropkick. He hits the deck hard, and from there, she drops a series of legdrops across the bridge of his nose. Edsel is in trouble as she repeatedly punches him in the nose, then grabs it and yanks it from side to side. Edsel is simply screaming in pain as Vixxxen refuses to let him get to his feet. She climbs to the top rope, leaps off, and jams a fist right into the bridge of his nose. There is blood everywhere, and the referee seems to be on the brink of calling the match. Suddenly, Vixxxen drops down, locks a scissors grip around the head of Edsel, and uses her incredibly powerful legs to grind down on Edsel’s nose. The referee checks for submission, and in no time flat, Edsel gives it up.)

Jessie: Vixxxen the big winner here, with the most interesting attack I’ve seen in years.

Chad: The nose is the softest part of the body, and she just went right after it. Look at all of that blood in there!

Bob: The sicko Kingpin’s got to be loving this…he’s got Vixxxen up on one shoulder, and they’re up the aisle.

Jessie: Let’s go down to Kris Erickson, who is standing by to interview the Kingpin.

Kris: Down here with the Kingpin and…Vixxxen. Kingpin, what’s the latest?

Kingpin: Well, Krissy, it’s like this: Kassandra Helman couldn’t hack it, so she’s on a vacation…forever. (He laughs.) And don’t think for a minute that we’re letting the Marauder’s bunch off the hook for putting their hands on me. Lindy Early’s off making movies, so she’s out of the fed as well. My wife, Monica Bogert, is taking a haitus from the sport to handle our son, Ian. So that leaves the World TV champ, Gretchen Gwynne, the I-C Tag champs, Fury, and the next US champion, Vixxxen. That’s the latest.

Kris: Vixxxen looked impressive tonight…

Vixxxen: Bullsh%#! I don’t want some hackneyed carbon copy sack of sh$@#! I want the *REAL* thing. Megadiesel, next week, right here, you and me are gonna dance. If you’ve got the….guts. (She licks her lips and smiles at the camera.) Oh, and Arlechino baby, don’t think we’ve forgotten about you. I’m taking over Gretchen’s non-title match contract, so you and I have a date. It’ll be so eXXXciting. I know you want me. Come get me, hot stuff.

Kris: Wow…this is a FAMILY show! Control yourself! That’s it from down here. Back to you, Jessie! Jessie: Okay, coming up now we have a non-title matchup involving the United States Tag Team champions, the Body Girls. And they’re taking on Born To Be Wild.

Bob: Should be a great match. Carrie and Samantha might very well pull off an upset here.

Chad: Not a chance, Brodsky! The Body Girls are simply far too GOOD to be beaten by those two losers. This one will be Randi and Brandi all the way!

Lisa: Well, it should be a great matchup whatever happens. You both make some really good observations there, guys. I’m so happy to be working with such pros.

Bob: We…we did?

Chad: You are? REALLY?

Bob & Chad: WOW!

Jessie: Oh boy……Guys? Hello? GUYS! Just great. Bob and Chad both have that faraway look in their eyes again. Guess we’ll have to do this ourselves until they recover, Lisa.

Lisa: Okay…<giggle> Aren’t they sweet though?

Bob & Chad: ……..

Jessie: This is gonna be one of THOSE nights I see. Let’s go to Michael Duffer down at ringside.

Michael Duffer: This is a non-title matchup for one fall. Being led to the ring by their manager, Susan James….From Los Angeles, California and Dallas, Texas respectively….Weighing in at a combined total of 315 pounds….

‘Born to be wild’ by Steppenwolf BLARES from the PA system, and the fans cheer bigtime:

Michael Duffer: Here are Samantha…WIIILD ONE…Starr and Carrie…WIIILD THING…Westfield… BOOOORN TO BE WIIIIIILD!!

Samantha and Carrie make their way to the ring with Susan James, slapping the hands of the fans and giving high fives all the way. Samantha is wearing a pair of loose-fitting, ripped and faded jeans, a black T-shirt with WILD ONE on the front in white letters, black wrestling boots, black leather jacket with WILD ONE on the back in white letters and a pair of black shades. Carrie is wearing blue jeans, a black sleeveless T-shirt with the words WILD THING in white on the chest, dark brown boots and a black Stetson cowboy hat. Samantha’s jacket and shades as well as Carrie’s hat are removed once they get in the ring.

Jessie: The fans seem to have taken a genuine liking to these two women. They’re really getting some support here tonight.

Chad: What do the fans know anyway? The hayseed and her loser partner are gonna get their clocks cleaned by a pair of REAL women here tonight!

Lisa: Samantha and Carrie are actually both quite capable wrestlers with solid amateur backgrounds, Chad. Carrie used to compete in professional female boxing as well, and Samantha is from a wrestling family. Her brother, Sid Starr, has held several titles, and Samantha was trained by the same people as him.

Michael Duffer: And their opponents….Weighing in at 335 pounds! From Los Angeles, California.

‘Shake Your Foundations’ by AC/DC begins to play:


The wolf-whistles start immediately as Randi and Brandi step onto the aisle and strut their way to the ring, posing and looking as confident and arrogant as ever. Once they get in the ring they continue their posing and showboating.


Jessie: It looks like it’s Samantha and Brandi starting off…..Samantha is moving straight at Brandi…No…Wait…Brandi is waving her off, and Samantha is looking puzzled. It looks like Brandi isn’t done posing for the crowd yet.

Lisa: This might cost her. If she doesn’t keep her mind on the match then Born To Be Wild are certain to take advantage of it.

Jessie: Samantha is rolling her eyes at Brandi, and here she comes again to lock up with the Body Girl…..No…Brandi waving her off again…evidently she’s not satisfied yet as she starts posing again. And Samantha is looking annoyed as she shakes her head in disgust.

Chad: She’s just jealous. She knows she doesn’t look as good as Brandi and she is jealous.

Bob: Samantha Starr is a beautiful, young woman, Romero! I’m sure she’s not at all jealous at Brandi. She is simply annoyed at Brandi’s attempt to turn a wrestling match into a pose down.

Chad: That’s because she would lose.

Bob: Romero, you make me SICK!

Chad: Thank you.

Lisa: Apparently Samantha has grown tired of Brandi’s antics now and she pushes her to get her attention…and now they lock up.

Jessie: Brandi getting the upper hand there…and going for a powerbomb! BLOCKED by Samantha! Samantha lifts Brandi into the air and places her on the turnbuckle! And she climbs up after her….What’s this? OH MY! That had to hurt!

Bob: Samantha locked a double underhook superplex on Brandi! And I could hear the air being knocked out of the Body Girl all the way up here! Early pin attempt! One! Two!…No, Brandi kicks out. It’ll take more than that to pin her.

Chad: Watch this! Brandi is up and going for a Bulldog headlock! Now these newcomers are gonna learn what it means to mess with the Body Girls!

Jessie: I see. Well, apparently Samantha isn’t impressed as she just blocked that attempt as well…She turns it around and straight into a gutwrench suplex which brings Brandi right down to the mat again.

Bob: Look at Samantha now! She’s mocking the Body Girls by posing like Brandi did at the start of the match! And the crowd is LOVING it! She’s not only talented! She’s got a sense of humor as well!

Chad: Oh, I see! When Brandi poses it’s got nothing to do with wrestling, but when Starr makes a poor attempt at it then it’s okay? You’re SUCH a hypocrite, Brodsky!

Jessie: Well, the fans certainly appreciates Samantha’s humor as they laugh it up. Brandi back on her feet now and she looks angry as she goes straight at Samantha…Not a good idea! Samantha locks her up and….OUCH! Swinging neckbreaker gives Brandi an attitude adjustment! Brandi back up and walking right into an elbowsmash by Starr! So far it’s been all Samantha here!

Chad: Oh yeah? Look at this! Brandi pushes Starr back to the turnbuckles…Facesmash! YEAH! Smear that face all over the mat, Brandi!

Bob: You are disgusting!

Chad: Like I care what YOU think.

Lisa: Brandi with the advantage here, but Samantha reverses with an armdrag takedown. That’s the problem with fighting Samantha. She’s very technically skilled and can reverse a situation out of nowhere.

Jessie: Belly-to-back suplex by Starr, and followed up with a forearm smash which stuns Brandi as the Body Girl stands up….Samantha lifting Brandi up in the air and places her on the turnbuckle again, climbing up after her!

Chad: No! NONONONO! DO something, Brandi! ANYTHING!…OW! <sigh>

Jessie: Samantha nails Brandi with a belly to belly superplex! Cover! One! Two! Thr….No. Brandi kicks out, but these moves are taking their toll. Both women to their feet now, and Brandi right back down courtesy of a dropkick by the “Wild One”.

Chad: Starr with a double underhook suplex. I have to say I’m surprised at how well she is doing against Brandi….but just wait, the Body Girls will tear these two girls’ heads off. They just need to get warmed up!

Lisa: Samantha tries to place Brandi on the turnbuckle again, but Brandi blocks it! She doesn’t manage to block the belly to belly suplex Samantha follows up with though!

Bob: One…two…Kickout!

Chad: Brandi has it all under control…Trust me!

Bob: Oh yeah. She really looks like she’s in control there, flat on her back. Starr picks her up and goes for the swinging neckbreaker, but Brandi counters it by lifting Samantha up and into a side suplex!

Chad: I hate to say I told you so but……I TOLD YOU SO! HAH! Brandi with a forearm smash now, and there she tags out to Randi! Now Starr is REALLY gonna get it! The Body Girls are gonna make those two little girlies REALLY feel the burn!

Jessie: Randi and Brandi grabbing Samantha by the hair…Double faceslam and Starr looks dazed! Brandi leaving the ring now, and Randi trying to pick Samantha up for a Gorilla Press…Blocked by Starr! Starr tries to pick up Randi and place her on the turnbuckle! Blocked by Randi!

Bob: Samantha keeping the pressure up now though! DOUBLE UNDERHOOK PILEDRIVER, and Randi didn’t manage to block THAT one! She’s in pain! And this time Randi is in no condition to stop Starr from placing her on the turnbuckle!

Chad: Geez! She really likes those turnbuckles, don’t she? FIGHT IT RANDI! FIGHT…. Oh crap!

Lisa: Big superplex by Samantha! Both women down now and the referee laying down the count.

Jessie: Both women get back in their feet, and Randi surprises Samantha with a short clothesline out of nowhere which takes the Wild One down! She bounces right back onto her feet though! Randi with another short clothesline but this time Starr is ready and ducks!

Chad: Sloppy dropkick by Starr. Easily sidestepped by Randi. A true champion!

Bob: Sloppy? There was nothing SLOPPY about it! You should show a little more respect, Romero! Samantha Starr is a FINE athlete!

Chad: You wouldn’t know a fine athlete if one came up and bit you, Brodsky!

Bob: Why, you no good….. if it wasn’t for my old knee-injury….

Jessie: Guys! The Match, please. Randi in control now with a camel clutch, and you can see on Samantha’s face that this is a painful move!

Chad: Yes! She’s gonna submit! She’s gonna submit! She’s gonna…Oh come on already! Will you just GIVE UP?

Lisa: I don’t think Samantha has any intentions of giving up. She manages to power her way over to the ropes, and Randi looks really angry as the ref orders her to break the hold, which she does with a kick to Samantha’s back. Samantha has been in there alone so far, I think she needs to get to her partner for that tag now.

Chad: No way is she gonna do that! Randi is gonna…NO! Do something! Someone do SOMETHING!

Bob: OOOH YEAH! Looks like that kick didn’t have the desired effect! She’s just mad now! Ya know, this reminds me of when I played for the ‘Bucs. That diehard attitude!

Jessie: Samantha locks up Randi and places her on the turnbuckle…BELLY TO BACK SUPERPLEX! Samantha really knows her stuff on the turnbuckles! She’s used them regularly throughout the match. Vertical suplex by Samantha and she finally tags in Carrie Westfield who runs right into a dropkick by Randi who recovered a lot quicker than I think Carrie expected.

Bob: You have to give the Body Girls credit. They are tough, and it’s gonna take quite a bit to take them down.

Lisa: Randi picks Carrie up…Tilt-a-whirl suplex knocks the air out of Carrie! Randi going for an inverted powerbomb now….

Chad: YES! This is it! This is the end of Born To Be Wild! Come on Randi! NAIL HER!



Jessie: Brandi looks like she can’t believe it either as the situation is reversed just like that and now it’s Randi in trouble! Carrie leaves the ring as Samantha walks over to Randi…What’s this she’s doing?…DOUBLE CHICKENWING, and Randi is SCREAMING in pain! She’s submitted almost immediately!


Michael Duffer: Here are your winners….after 4 minutes 29 seconds…Samantha “Wild One” Starr and Carrie “Wild Thing” Westfield……BOOOOORN TO BE WIIIIIIILD!!

The crowd goes nuts as Carrie and Samantha leave the ring with Susan James:

Chad: NO! NOOOO! It’s not FAIR! How could these….ROOKIES beat the Body Girls?

Jessie: Brandi looks as stunned as Chad on the outside while Randi is still writhing in pain from that double chickenwing. Let’s see if Sam can get a word with the winners.

The camera changes to the interview platform where Sam is standing with Born To Be Wild:

Sam: YEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT A MATCH LADIES! Congratulations on that victory!

Carrie: YEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAH! Yerself, Sammy-boy! Thanks! I hope y’all was cheerin’ fer us!

Sam: Sure was, Carrie. Sure was. Now, it seems as if someone is missin’ here. Where’d y’all hide yer manager?

Samantha: Well, Sam. Susan is really very busy today, what with Jake and Johnny having a title match later today and all that, so you’re gonna have to make do with us for this interview.

Carrie: Yep. Tha’s how it is. We get to have ya all ta ourselves here, Sammy.

Carrie winks mischievously at Sam who blushes slightly while Samantha just chuckles:

Sam: Well, let’s get on with it, shall we? Y’all just beat the Body Girls, earning a shot at the titles I dare say. How do y’all feel right now?

Carrie: How do we feel, Sam? HOW DO WE FEEL? I only have ONE word ta describe how I feel right now….YEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAH! Silicone Chicks! Y’all thought ya couldn’t lose! Y’all came out thinking Born To Be Wild would be an easy match! Well, we just proved y’all wrong!

Samantha: Now don’t get me wrong. Randi and Brandi are good wrestlers, but their attitude stinks. It’s an attitude which leads to laziness and stagnation. And once you get stuck in a spot like that, well…You saw the result tonight! Barbie Dolls! We’re coming for those belts! Shine ’em up!

Carrie: We beat y’all fair and square! Next time we meet we want y’all to put yer belts where yer mouths are!

Samantha and Carrie raise their hands in the air and make their way back to the locker area to the cheering of the crowd:

Sam: Born To Be Wild, ladies and gentlemen. Back to y’all, Jessie. YEEEEEE-HAAAAAAH!

Jessie: Thanks, Sam! Coming up next we have a title match. Fury defending their IC tag belts against Susan James’ team of “Jumping” Johnny Richards and Jake Sanders, also known as Wildside.

Chad: Will someone explain to me again why a pair of complete losers and newcomers like Wildside are getting a title shot?

Bob: They’re not losers, Romero! Richards and Sanders are quality athletes and a fine tag team! You saw what they did to FutureShock in their debut!

Chad: Oh, PLEASE Brodsky! Don’t remind me of those two silver clad morons! I just ate! And you can’t compare the REAL teams here in the ICWF to a couple Joe Schmoes grabbed off the street and dressed up in costumes from a gimmick rejected by the WWF and WCW because it was so stupid.

Bob: I’m sure FutureShock have SOME redeeming qualities….well…maybe not, but…

Jessie: Well, the fact remains that tonight Wildside get a shot at the belts held by Fury. Let’s head down to Michael Duffer who is ready in the ring.

Michael Duffer: Thank you, Jessie. Ladies and Gentlemen! This matchup will be for the Intercontinental Tag Team Title. Introducing first, the challengers being led down the aisle by their manager, Susan James….Hailing from Chicago, Illinois…Weighing in at a total combined weight of 543 pounds….

‘Make It’ by Aerosmith starts up and the crowd goes wild as Johnny, Jake and Susan step out onto the aisle:

Michael Duffer: WIIIILDSIIIDE!

The trio make their way to ringside slapping hands with the fans on the way. Wildside are wearing black leather jackets with WILDSIDE on the back in white letters, black boots and black tights with their first names down one leg and their surnames down the other in white letters. As they get in the ring they remove their jackets and give them to Susan.

Michael Duffer: AAAAAAND THE ICWF INTERCONTINENTAL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! Making their way down the aisle accompanied by Lindy Early….From parts unknown…. (Michael Duffer: FUUUUUURY!

Fury and Early walk to the aisle to the booing of the fans as “Welcome to the Terrordome” by Public Enemy assaults the senses….

Chad: Oh, this is gonna be good. Caray and Stewart are gonna SLAUGHTER these two idiots!

Bob: That’s what you said about Born To Be Wild before their match against the Body Girls too.

Chad: Uhm…Dumb luck, that’s all. It was just dumb luck that those two beat the Body Girls.

Jessie: I’m not so sure about that, Chad. Nevertheless, Fury are not facing Born To Be Wild. They’re facing Wildside, and even though the two teams belong to the same stable they are not exactly the same.

Lisa: Sanders and Richards have their work cut out for them here tonight. The Zents brothers are a pair of REALLY tough customers, and I would have to give the experience edge to Fury.

Jessie: Indeed. Well, here’s the bell and this one is off to a flying start so to speak as Caray Zents nails Johnny Richards with a series of forearm smashes which stagger the challenger. And Caray’s experience showing here as he immediately follows up with a DDT, not giving Johnny a second to get his bearings.

Chad: Watch Fury tear these chumps apart! Caray picks Richards back up and whips him to the ropes. Johnny comes back off the ropes with a clothesline! Ducked by Caray! Caray with a clothesline! Ducked by Johnny! They’re crisscrossing the ring…And there’s Caray’s experience edge showing itself again as Richards gets nailed with a clothesline!

Lisa: Johnny is down, and Caray has positioned himself for his next move as Richards gets back to his feet…..SUPERKICK BY ZENTS DUCKED BY JOHNNY!

Bob: This youngster is as quick as lightning! Johnny is running off the ropes……Nails Caray with a high cross body! One…Two…Kickout. You won’t beat Caray Zents THAT easily.

Jessie: Definitely. Johnny dragging Caray to his feet now…DDT! Guess that was payback for the DDT Caray laid on Richards earlier. Both men back on their feet now, and Caray a little dazed…Beautiful dropkick by “Jumping” Johnny takes Zents off his feet again, and Richards immediately grabs Caray’s legs…turns him over into a scorpion deathlock and Caray grimaces in pain!

Chad: Not for long though! Caray powers his way over to the ropes and the ref makes Richards release the hold. Richards tagging in Jake Sanders now, and Lindy Early not liking what she is seeing.

Bob: Neither is Stewart who is yelling for his brother to tag him in. Caray in no position to tag in ANYONE though as Jake grabs him and executes a gutwrench suplex! Man that looked painful!

Jessie: Both men back up now, and Jake goes for another gutwrench suplex but is blocked by Caray! Caray trying to nail Jake with an atomic drop, but gets a mouthful of mat for his trouble as Jake grabs him in a bulldog headlock and DRIVES his face into the canvas! The advantage seems to have shifted completely in favor of Wildside now.

Lisa: Jake is both a powerful man as well as a technically skilled wrestlers. You do not want to let him get the upper hand like this or you will be in trouble.

Chad: Just wait! Fury will pull through! I KNOW they will!

Jessie: Both men to their feet and Caray goes right back down courtesy of a Japanese armdrag takedown from Jake. He drags Caray back up…Vertical suplex!….Jake pulls Caray up again and hammers him with forearms! Sanders is on fire here!

Chad: Caray will get through this. He’s just giving Sanders a false sense of security. When the time comes he will crush the punk.

Bob: Jake puts Caray over his shoulder now and starts running…OH MY GOODNESS! That running powerslam almost put Caray THROUGH the mat!

Chad: Just wait. Any time now Caray will take the initiative and kill Sanders. Trust me.

Jessie: Well, if he is going to do something he better do it quickly, because Jake just placed Caray on the top turnbuckle and climbed up after him! Stewart is positively livid and runs along the apron trying to get to Jake to help out his brother….But here comes Johnny Richards, and a shoulderblock sends Stewart flying off the apron and into the security railing!


Bob: Jake has Caray locked up securely now….HERE WE GO….BOOOOM! TOUCHDOWN!


Jessie: Jake REALLY nailed Caray with that superplex, and he goes for the pin with Stewart still down on the outside and in no condition to make the save! Here’s the count…ONE!

Lisa: TWO!



Michael Duffer: The winners of this match at two minutes and ten seconds, and NEW ICWF INTERCONTINENTAL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS….”JUMPING” JOHNNY RICHARDS! JAKE SANDERS!……They are….WIIIIIILDSIIIIDE!!

Chad: It’s just not FAIR! <sigh>

Jake and Johnny are handed the belts by the referee. They help Susan James into the ring and then gives her the belts before hoisting her up on their shoulders where she holds the gold high for all the fans to see. The crowd goes NUTS as the three are joined by Samantha Starr, Carrie Westfield, Ray Radford and Yoshiko Kage who come out to congratulate them.

Bob: I’m gonna try to get some words from the new champs!

Bob removes his headset and heads to the ring. In the background we hear Chad muttering “It’s NOT fair!”. The camera switches to inside the ring as Bob enters and makes his way over to the happy group celebrating the victory.

Bob: Jake! Johnny! Tremendous victory! Just like the ‘bucs when I played with them you never gave up! Any words for the fans?


Jake: Oh man, this is UNBELIEVABLE! Fury, you were good, but not good enough! Wildside, ICWF Intercontinental Tag Team Champions. Sounds good, doesn’t it, Bob?

Jake and Johnny grins as the other wrestlers in the stable slap them on their backs cheer in agreement:

Susan: I have a feeling you took my boys a little lightly, Fury. Well, I guess you learned what happens when you do that. I told everyone that Jake and Johnny were an accomplished tag team, capable of taking on anyone, so don’t say you weren’t warned.

Samantha: Way ta go, guys!

Carrie: YEEEEE-HAAAAAH! Now THAT’S how ta take care o’ business!

Ray: WHOOAAAA BABY! Tag gold to the wild boys! Live with it, Fury!

Yoshiko: Congratulations, Jake-san. Johnny-san. I am very pleased to see your efforts rewarded in such a way.

Bob: It seems your friends are just as happy as you two, if not happier, Jake.

Jake: What can I say, Bob? It’s that team spirit. I’m sure you know a lot about that being a former football player. We’re all a team…Hell, I LOVE these people!

Johnny: This gold is as much theirs as it is ours! They’ve backed us up. Helped us out with training. Given us advice. In short, they’ve been good friends. Like Jake said, it’s a team victory! And the support of the fans didn’t hurt either.

Jake and Johnny turn and look out at the crowd, then shout into the microphone:


The crowd goes ballistic as the group make their way to the locker area.

Jessie: Wow, what a program we’ve had! Join us next time, fans, as we hear from the ICWF commissioner regarding some of these recent, highly questionable title changes. Also, the federation’s owner and president himself, Mike Shoemaker, will be on hand for the action!

Bob: It’s so great of the president to take time out from his busy schedule to see how things are progressing here in the ICWF!

Lisa: I know, Bob! What with all the other enterprises he’s got–owning and coaching the Miami Mercs of the Internet Indoor Football League, another team in the Internet Remote Football League, a baseball team in the Network Baseball League–how does he have time for it all?

Chad: It’s simple, Lisa! His teams suck! Since he missed the playoffs in IIFL, he now deigns to visit the only good thing he’s got goin’ on!

Bob: Hey, now, Chad! He signs your paycheck, y’know!

Chad: Guess I should be thankful for small favors. I mean, REALLY small favors.

Lisa: (Laughing.) You two are so funny! I love working with you guys!

Bob: Um….

Chad: Um….

Jessie: Oh, boy, they’re gone again.

Lisa: I meant you too, Jess!

Jessie: Well…anyway, thanks everybody, and we’ll see you all again next time!

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