The scene opens up outside of a creepy-looking castle surrounded by rain, lightning, and thunder. The door opens with a loud creak, and we enter the castle and follow the hallway down a long dark hallway with torches as the only light source until we get to a large room.
There are boxes everywhere, opened with various items. Still, the thing we notice most here is the flyer on the desk proclaiming that Santa Claus will be in town to meet all the good girls and boys of the city.
Suddenly, a hand reaches out and grabs the flyer, crushing it in a fist.
There’s a cartoon playing in the background as Panda sits in front of a window looking out at the sunshine. Kan Tai is right next to him, and she turns to look at Panda when he sighs overdramatically, “I wish it would snow for Christmas.”
Kan Tai gives him a nudge, “The man on the radio said we will have snow for Christmas! You should have a little faith, Panda.”
Panda points up into the sky, “You see that big ball of fire there? That’s called the sun. It’s like 80 degrees outside right now. There’s no way there will be snow by tomorrow.”
The cartoon is interrupted by a breaking news story.
“This is a Special News Bulletin!” the anchor says, “Just moments ago, during a visit near City Hall, Santa was kidnapped in broad daylight.”
“Oh, dear!” says Kan Tai as they both turn around to watch the news.
“We have this footage,” says the anchor.
As the video begins to play, Santa Claus is handing out candy to all the children near City Hall when suddenly, two strands of rope fall from the sky. Two masked individuals slide down and then hop to the ground. They rush over with a big giant sack in their hand, and they place it over Santa’s head and trap him inside the bag.
One of the kidnappers taps an earpiece, “We got him, haul us up!” she says as they rush over and grab back onto the rope. The other kidnapper yells, “Go! Go! Go!” They are pulled away with Santa trapped inside the large sack.
Panda points to the television, “Someone stole Santa!”
Kan Tai shakes her head, “That’s not stealing, Panda. That’s kidnapping!”
“I hope someone does something to save him!” exclaims Panda.
Kan Tai rushes over and grabs her jacket, “Sounds like a job for Kan Tai and Panda.”
Panda doesn’t seem to certain, “Are you sure it isn’t a job for the police?”
Kan Tai rushes over and grabs Panda by the hand, and they zoom out of the house.
Kan Tai drags Panda down the sidewalk. He seems to be in no hurry to run into what could be a dangerous situation. As they reach City Hall, there are many police cars with lights flashing about as they are questioning witnesses to the kidnapping.
Panda doesn’t seem happy to be drug into the situation as he protests, “I don’t know what you think we can do here, Kan Tai. It’s not like we’re detectives or the police. We should just let them do their job.” Panda literally has both of his feet on Kan Tai’s leg, trying to free himself from her grasp.
“You never know until you try, Panda,” she says as she reaches the scene and lets go of Panda’s hand, and he crashes to the ground onto his face. He sits up and rubs at his nose.
“That hurt, you know?”
“Look,” Kan Tai points to the tall blonde speaking to a police officer. “It’s the former world champion, Stacy Deville!” Which, of course, leads to a graphic on the screen that says as such. Kan Tai rushes over, “Stacy DeVille! What are you doing here?”
The policeman walks away, and Stacy turns to Kan Tai, “I’m here like everyone else. I came down to see Santa Claus, but then I saw what happened. Hey, aren’t you Kan Tai and Panda?”
Panda points to his chest, “And I’m Panda.”
Kan Tai asides to him, “She already said that.”
“Oh,” he says and shrugs, “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you!”
Kan Tai looks up at Stacy, “What did you see, Stacy?”
“It was just like they said in the news. Santa was here giving out candy and talking to children when a helicopter came out of the sky, and a couple of people slid down some cables and sacked Saint Nick and just took off.”
Panda pulls out a magnifying glass and looks around, “You couldn’t identify these Christmas cancellers?”
Stacy taps her chin, deep in thought, “Well, they were wearing masks, but I did recognize one of those Santa-nappers. Those hips were a dead giveaway!
Kan Tai’s eyes go wide, “Who was it?”
“Well, it was…” Stacy starts to speak when a loud squawking sound interrupts.
“Now hear this!” comes the voice.
Every TV and radio broadcast has been interrupted by this particular feed as we see two masks on the television. “We have kidnapped your dear precious Santa Claus. If our demands aren’t met by midnight on Christmas Eve, then we will keep him out hostage until Christmas is over, which means no presents for anyone!”
A second voice is heard, “You hear that? You better do what we say, or we’re gonna make Christmas go away just like that!”
“I got this, but thanks.”
“I just wanted to make sure they knew we meant business!”
“Oh, they gonna know alright.”
Kan Tai turns to Stacy, “Are you sure you know who that is?”
Stacy gives a nod, “I sure do. That’s Jansen Myrrh, which means her partner there would be War Queen Leah.”
Panda snaps his fingers, “That means that Gabriel Ohio must be flying the helicopter.”
“I should have known!” says Kan Tai. “They are all members of that super evil organization known as Coven! They are always causing trouble!”
“That’s right. Whatever it is they have planned, or whatever it is that they want, it’s not going to be easy.”
Jansen Myrrh’s voice comes over the airways again, “I hope you have a pen and paper handy as we are about to list all of our demands! If we don’t get it all, Christmas is done forever!”
There are some blank stares as everyone listens to Coven’s demands, though we aren’t included in that yet.
The show rewinds, but this time we are inside of the Coven castle.
Jansen Myrrh, War Queen Leah, and Gabriel Ohio are standing around an old radio that seems to be emitting some electromagnetic waves through an antenna. Jansen Myrrh has the handset in her hand as she looks at the other two.
“We got them jokers right where we want them. Let’s hit them with our list.”
There are some muffling sounds off in the distance, and the scene pans over to see Santa Claus all tied up and gagged with a Christmas handkerchief. Jansen turns to him, “Be quiet, old man, or we’re having BBQ reindeer for dinner tonight.”
Santa’s eyes go wide at that threat.
War Queen Leah nudges Jansen, “Let’s hit them with our demands now.”
Turning back to the radio, Jansen brings the microphone to her mouth, “We hereby demand the cease in the creation of anything that tastes, smells, or sounds like Pumpkin Spice. This includes pastries, cereal, coffee, tea, air freshener, oatmeal, window cleaner, fabric softener, potato chips, cookie, paint, candy…”
Leah snatches the microphone from Jansen, “Ya’ll have gone too far this time! I accidentally bought some TP that smells like pumpkin spice! Who’s crazy idea was that anyway? You all need to stop this madness. If you don’t, Santa here gets dumped into a vat of pumpkin spice!
Gabriel Ohio grins as he walks over and flips the switch, turning on the heat for a vat of something that is conveniently labeled “Pumpkin Spice.” Underneath that label, there’s a smaller label that warns that “Contents could be Hot. Handle with Care.” With a chuckle, Ohio walks back to the others, giving Santa a wicked grin.
War Queen Leah hits the mic again, “Ohio just turned on the heat to our vat of pumpkin spice. So, if you want Santa to be permanently spiced, then you better get rid of all the pumpkin spice. This is what you call poetic justice, baby.”
Jansen snatches the microphone back, “You’ve only got a few hours left before Christmas. So you want this fat man to squeeze himself down your chimneys tonight and deliver your greedy little gifts, you better meet our demands, pronto. Otherwise, it’ll be Santa Pumpkin Spice soup for Christmas this year! Coven out!”
There’s dead silence outside of City Hall, where Stacy, Kan Tai, and Panda are speechless.
“I know Coven is a little odd, but this is ridiculous, even for them,” Stacy says.
Kan Tai nods, “I mean, I get it, but it’s a little extreme over pumpkin spice. What are we gonna do?”
Panda has pulled out a phone, “City Funeral Home? I’d like to order a casket in double… make that triple XL.”
Kan Tai scowls at him, “Cut that out. We aren’t going to let Santa die. It’s up to us to save him.”
Panda puts away his phone, “We don’t even know where to find him.”
Stacy is looking off into the distance, “I might have an idea of where to start,” she says as she raises a hand to point.
As the scene follows Stacy DeVille’s points’ direction, we see off in the distance a large castle up on a mountain. While the rest of the city is bathed in sunlight, the castle is the only place for miles with rain, lightning, and thunder.
Panda whistles, “Only bad weather can stand to hang out with Coven.” He turns and starts to head off in the opposite direction. Kan Tai reaches out and grabs his tail, but he keeps trying to walk away.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
Panda looks down, realizing he’s not going anywhere, “Back to the apartment. Where it’s safe from things like Coven and large vats of Pumpkin Spice soup.
“Oh no, you’re coming with me to save Santa unless you want Christmas to be ruined this year.” Kan Tai turns to Stacy, “You in?”
“I’m in like a partridge in a pear tree,” she says.
Panda shakes his head, “I’ve a feeling it’s gonna be three geese cooking before all is said and done.”
Stacy thinks about that, “Well, four if you count Santa Claus.”
“Not helpful!” yells Panda.
As the scene fades in, Stacy, Kan Tai, and Panda stand in front of the sizeable gloomy castle. There’s a giant sign above the large door that announces that this is “Coven Castle.” There are also signs that say, “Go Away!” and “No soliciting” the latter has a smaller print underneath that exclaims, “Unless you have Girl Scout Cookies!” Stacy points up at the sign, “Not too subtle, are they?”
Kan Tai shakes her head, “Not at all.”
Panda starts to walk off, “Well, I don’t have any girl scout cookies, so I’m definitely not welcome. I’ll be heading back now.”
“Oh no, you don’t,” says Kan Tai as she spins him around. “We have to save Christmas!”
“I mean, surely there’s someone who can just jump in and take his place, like an assistant Santa, right?”
Stacy and Kan Tai yell, “Panda!”
“Fine. Fine. How do we get inside? Walk through the big front door that’s obviously locked?” asks Panda.
Stacy reaches out and grabs the handle, and pulls on the door. “I mean, work easier, not harder right?”
They all walk into the castle. There is a long corridor ahead and candles that light the way. Suddenly, the door behind them slams shut, causing all of Panda’s fur to stand out straight as he leaps into the air. At the same time, all the candles in the hallway go out.
“I’ma go now!” whimpers Panda as he runs back to the door and tries to pull it open, but it won’t budge. “This is where we die,” whimpers Panda as Kan Tai pulls him off the door.
“It’s a pretty big place. I wonder where they have Santa?” asks Kan Tai.
“All we can do is look,” Stacy says as the two begin to make their way into the interior of the castle. Kan Tai is dragging Panda along the floor as he tries to grab onto the floor, “I don’t wanna go!” he whines.
Inside the castle, Jansen is sitting at a table next to the radio. She’s tapping her fingers along the table impatiently. War Queen Leah is playing a video game. Gabriel Ohio is sitting directly in front of Santa, who seems to be very nervous and sweaty. Every once in a while, Ohio reaches over and touches Santa on the forehead, causing Santa to wince. Then for no reason, Gabriel Ohio laughs out loud. He turns to Jansen, “Can we put him in the vat yet?”
Leah looks up from her game, “They’ve still got time, Ohio. Just calm down. You know, I was thinking, we should have asked for some cash. We could use a few more things around the castle.”
Jansen yawns and shrugs, “Why bother? If we want something, we just take it.”
Leah nods as she returns to her game, “That’s the truth.”
When a gong sounds, Jansen perks up. She turns to Gabriel, “You invite that troll over again?”
Gabriel turns to Jansen, “You mean my mother?”
“Shh,” says Leah as she pauses her game. “I think someone’s inside. Better not be any wrestlers coming to save Santa. I’m almost to the boss level, and I’ll be pissed if I lose my place.”
Jansen shakes her head, “Impossible. We got all the signs out there warning everyone away.”
Gabriel perks up, “Maybe it’s Girl Scout Cookie day?”
Jansen oohs, “I need some Samoa Joes.”
Gabriel arches a brow, “I don’t think they’re called that.”
Jansen shrugs, “You say potato…”
War Queen Leah shakes her head, “I don’t think it’s cookies. That was a couple months ago, and Gabriel ate them all in one weekend. We ain’t doing that again.”
Gabriel looks sad.
Jansen rises from her chair, “We better go check it out.”
Gabriel looks over at Santa, “What about the fat guy?”
Jansen ponders for a moment, “I got an idea, just in case anyone tries anything funny.”
A few moments later, as they all leave to go find out what the noise was all about, we see they’ve hung Santa above the vat by a piece of rope, and Santa doesn’t seem too happy about it. Not at all.
Stacy, Kan Tai, and Panda are moving down a hallway when the bandaged face of Gabriel Ohio appears behind them, right behind Panda. Gabriel says, “Boo!” which causes Panda to leap into the air, fur all sticking out as he gets scared.
Jansen Myrrh points to the trio, “I know them goofballs! It’s Stacy DeVille, Kan Tai, and her annoying little goofball, Panda!”
“I object to being called a goofball!” says Panda.
Gabriel leans down and gets face to face with the stuffed panda, “Do you?”
“Not so much,” squeaks Panda.
“Get them!” shouts Leah as the chase scene begins. They go back and forth across the hallway. Jansen is chasing Kan Tai with a hatchet, Gabriel is chasing Stacy with a chainsaw, and Leah is chasing Panda with a pair of fabric scissors. Finally, the three Coven members are chasing no one. They stop, “Where’d they go?” asks Gabriel.
“We lost them!” shouts Leah.
“C’mon, they’re around here somewhere,” says Jansen as the three run off.
The lids of three large urns in the hallway raise up as our three heroes peek out to make sure the coast is clear. They extract themselves from the vases, and Stacy says, “I think the coast is clear.”
“Let’s go find Santa,” says Kan Tai.
Panda sticks up a finger, “How will we get near him without Coven getting in the way?”
Kan Tai thinks for a moment, and then a light bulb lights up over her head. “I have a plan!” she exclaims.
Stacy, Kan Tai, and Panda are in hiding as Kan Tai finishes explaining her plan.
Stacy looks at Kan Tai and shakes her head, “This can’t possibly work. Where are we going to find…” she starts when Kan Tai begins to pull a string of Christmas lights out of her pocket.
“I don’t even want to know why you have those there.”
Kan Tai looks at her seriously, “Doesn’t everyone carry around emergency Christmas lights during the Christmas season?”
Panda interjects, “Never mind that. What I want to know is why, in this plan, I have to be the bait.”
Kan Tai shakes her head, “You must not watch a lot of cartoons.”
“Actually, I watch a lot of cartoons.”
“Then you should know the cute one is always the bait,” explains Kan Tai.
Panda sighs, “You got a point.”
“I don’t see them anywhere,” shouts Leah as she looks under the trash can, the microwave, and the refrigerator.
Jansen is peeking down the drain of the kitchen sink, “It’s like they vanished into thin air.”
Gabriel Ohio has a box of green Girl Scout cookies and is munching away.
“Um, where did you get those?” asks Leah. “I thought you ate them all.”
Gabriel shrugs, “Except the ones I didn’t eat.”
Jansen stops everyone, “Wait one second.” She makes a motion of counting all three of them and then asks, “So, if we are all here, is anyone watching Fat Santa?”
From outside of the kitchen, they hear Kan Tai yell, “I found Santa!”
War Queen Leah shouts, “Let’s get them!”
The three Coven members slide into the hallway where Stacy and Kan Tai are waiting for them. “There they are!” shouts Jansen as the Coven runs after the duo. Stacy and Kan Tai begin to run off as well. Suddenly flying down from on high comes Panda with a string of Christmas lights. He goes around and around the Coven members, wrapping them up in the Christmas lights.
Stacy and Kan Tai yell out, “We got them!”
As the Coven members try and wiggle out of their trap, Panda shakes his head, “It’s missing something.” He walks over, picks up the plug, and sticks it in the socket as the lights begin to flash around Coven.
Outside the castle, all three Coven members are handcuffed and marched to the back of a police car. Jansen stops and turns to the others, “We would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for Stacy DeVille, Kan Tai, and her stupid panda with all that stupid Christmas cheer! When pumpkin spice takes over the world, you’ll come crawling to Coven to help get rid of it.”
Panda blinks, “I’m of average intelligence, I’ll let you know.”
Kan Tai shrugs, “I kinda like pumpkin spice.”
Leah growls, “Who hangs around with a panda anyway?
Gabriel seems deep in thought, “I wonder what pandas taste like.”
Jansen looks at him, “Stuffing.”
Gabriel seems confused, “Chicken stuffing or turkey stuffing?”
Leah rolls her eyes, “That one tastes like cloth stuffing.”
As the squad car leaves with Coven, Lt. Flannigan walks up to the group, “I can’t believe you saved Santa! We were just about to storm the place, but at least we know he’s safe and sound.” Flannigan looks around, “So, where is the jolly man anyway?”
Stacy, Kan Tai, and Panda all exchange glances, and all three shout, “He’s still inside!”
“Ho! Ho! Ho!” laughs Santa as he walks out of the castle. “I’m right here. No need to worry!”
Panda leaps for joy, “Santa!”
Kan Tai asks, “How did you get free?”
Santa gives them a wink, “I could have gotten free anytime I wanted to. I just thought I’d see if anyone was willing to save Christmas.”
Panda looks dejected, “So we went through all of that for nothing? And there’s still no snow?”
Santa leans over and touches Panda right on the nose, “Thanks to you three, Christmas is saved. I’ll make sure to leave something special for you tonight.”
Stacy shakes her head, “We couldn’t let Christmas get ruined on account of those three scrooges.”
Panda plops down on the steps of the castle when something floats down and lands on his nose. He wiggles it a little, and then he spots another snowflake and then another, and soon the sky is filled with them. He leaps up, “It’s snowing! It’s snowing!” he cries out in glee.
From somewhere off-screen, Santa is heard asking, “Has anyone seen my sleigh?”
The live Kan Tai walks on screen with her stuffed panda, Panda. She gives everyone a wave, “Hello, everyone! Today, you saw that not everyone enjoys the Christmas spirit and can be scrooges if we allow them to be. They’ll even try to ruin Christmas with their bah-humbuggery. But you also saw what happens when you put the Christmas spirit in action as Panda and I, along with Stacy DeVille, did just that. It’s not just important to behave yourself around the holidays, but all through the year as well. Believe it or not, the Christmas spirit doesn’t go away once December 25th rolls around. It’s only amplified then. Take the Christmas spirit with you all year long.”
She reaches down and wiggles Panda’s paw, waving goodbye, “Happy holidays, everyone!”
An enormous warehouse’s doors open up as the lights flicker on in the building back to an animation sequence.
Someone leads in eight reindeer with Santa’s sleigh.
However, someone is watching from off-site on a monitor, as he sees the reindeer being stored into a special made stable just for them. We can’t see the face of the man who’s watching, but he reaches for a picture of Panda and chuckles, “My collection is coming along nicely. Soon, very soon, I’ll add this talking panda to my collection.” The man begins to chuckle, and then it turns into a full-blown evil laugh as the scene fades to black.