Scene opens up with Kan Tai and Panda WALKING ALONG A
TRAIL. KAN TAI CARRIES A BACK PACK, WHILE PANDA USES A WALKING STICK. The SUN
IS OUT AND THE BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AS THE TWO MAKE THEIR WAY TO THEIR
in the world made you decide that we needed to walk up this mountain today? I
mean, certainly no one hikes for fun.
hikes for fun. Well, perhaps not everyone.
you’re talking about me. Well, you’re right. If I wanted to walk for miles on
end, I would have bought a treadmill.
both know that’s not true.
probably right. Can we turn back yet?
only been walking for five minutes, Panda. We’re going to see what’s at the top
of Cola Mountain!
it were a mountain of colas instead. Grape cola.
have no idea how you can drink that stuff.
didn’t mean it that way.
rustling in the tree startles Panda who climbs the nearest tree followed by
some dramatic music and more rustling of the brush.
PANDA ADVENTURES OPENING
(Theme Song: “GO!” by M83 & Mia Lan)
CLIMBING COLA MOUNTAIN
rustles some more and then bursting out comes…
way! It’s professional wrestling suplex queen, Lena Skye!
Graphic for Lena Skye appears on the screen
momentarily before exploding us back to the previous scene.
are you doing on this mountain?
was such a nice day out, I thought instead of my usual workout routine, I’d
take a hike.
kicked out of the gym?
Is it safe? Did you get eaten, Kan Tai?
did not get eaten, Panda. Get down from there.
Panda yells as he accidently falls to the ground. He
gets back up and rubs his rump.
should be softer. (Noticed Lena) Oh hey it’s…
already did the splash screen. You were busy hiding.
was a pretty sweet splash screen at that.
could have waited for me.
could not have run away squealing.
Well, no one asked you.
be mean. (to Lena) How about if we walk up together?
walking up alone. Let’s have at it.
we really are going to the very top?
just going to roll back down when I get up there.
lots of rocks and sticks to run into on the way down.
I’ll walk then. I don’t suppose anyone saw that sign right there.
Everyone looks to where Panda is pointing and there’s
a sign that clearly states, “Keep Out!” underneath it there’s a smaller sign
that reads, “This means you!”
odd. I’m sure this is public land.
you sure though? Someone doesn’t want us hiking through.
Kan Tai pulls out a pamphlet and looks through it.
says that this is public land. So, we have the right to be here. I’m not sure
who put these signs up, but they can’t keep us from going up the mountain.
let’s keep hiking then!
just gonna head back down the mountain…
PANDA starts walking down, but Kan Tai lifts him and
turns him back upwards and he starts up the mountain instead.
As the scene pans up, watching our trio from the sky,
the image changes to black and white and we see someone is watching them on a
dare they ignore my signs! I didn’t put them up there for amusement! Bah!
The scene finally shows us the speaker and then a
sudden splash screen appears for Tyke Index.
they know I’m the “King of Cola Mountain?” I had a ceremony and everything.
Flashback scene to Tyke Index’s ceremony where a crown
is being placed upon his head. As the scene zooms away, we see it’s Type
putting the crown on his own head.
Red lights start flashing and a loud alarm is heard as
Tyke turns his attention back to the monitor.
know why they’re coming and I won’t let them take it. ROBOTS!
Suddenly a door whooshes open and three robots zoom
towards Tyke. He points.
take care of those trespassers!
The robots zoom away. And the scene changes to our
hiking trio as they climb up the mountain.
the third ‘get lost’ sign I’ve seen on here. Are you sure we aren’t going to
get into trouble?
the fourth time, we’re fine. This is public land and we have every right to
walk this trail.
sure people walk this trail every day. You hear that?
The sound of something getting closer and closer.
All three duck into the bushes as three robots zoom by
that was weird. Why would there be robots climbing this mountain?
They’re coming back this way!
Suddenly little lasers are firing at our trio to begin
to run up the hill and the three robots are right behind them.
told you this was a bad idea.
run! Crazy robots are shooting at us!
jump and try and get into a tree. Maybe we can confuse
them if we just disappear.
Panda has no trouble climbing a tree. Kan Tai and Lena
also scurry up and wait until the robots come through and they stop and begin
to look around. As they look away from the trio, Panda slides down the tree and
then he hurries back up before they turn back.
They turn away and again, Panda slides down and he has to hurry back up
the tree before being seen. The robots appear through a series of beeping
noises to split up and each go separate ways. Once they disappear, our trio
emerge from the trees.
thought pandas were supposed to be great at climbing trees.
know I’m not a real panda, right? I’m just a stuffed panda. Real talking pandas
pandas don’t talk but stuffed talking pandas…
get out of here before they come back.
Meanwhile, high atop Cola Mountain, Tyke Index is
watching everything on the monitor as he slams his fist down on the console.
it! You can’t trust robots to get the jobs done, then let’s send out the
Next to the giant red button on the console is another
giant red button that is labeled “DRONES” and Tyke Index slams his fist down on
that button and a door opens up and three drones fly out of a door and head
outside. On the console, the monitor turns into a video game screen as a
joystick rises from a secret door.
me see you try and steal my property, will you?
As Tyke Index takes control over the drones who are
heading towards our heroes, who just happen to be checking over a map.
according to the map, it says we are about half an hour from the top of the
long is that in Panda time?
They begin to climb upwards towards the top when the
buzzing sound of the drones are heard.
worry. If it is killer bees, I have my bug repellant in my back pack.
doesn’t sound like bees. Look!
Just then the drones begin to swoop down on them as
they begin to run up the mountain, ducking down when the drones begin to fire
shots at the group as they continue up the hill. We check in with Tyke Index
who is pushing and pulling on the joystick as he continues to chase the three.
it. Just a little bit closer.
As our trio run away from the drones on the screen, as
soon as they hit a certain spot, Tyke Index slams his fist down on another
button that catches them in a net.
out of the cabin.) I’ll tell you what. First, you fail in your mission to steal
my prized property.
are you talking about? We weren’t trying to steal anything…
Do you know who you’re talking to?
know who you are! You’re…
said QUIET! I am “The King of Cola Mountain”. I prefer to be addressed as “Your
Highness” or “King”.
I ain’t calling you that.
property are you talking about anyway?
know full well what property you have come to steal from my kingdom.
You have just doomed you and your friends.
don’t need to be groomed.
could probably stand to comb my hair.
TYKE INDEX pulls out a remote control with two buttons
on it and he presses one of the buttons and a door underground opens up and a
very large black kettle rises from the earth. It looks to be very hot from the
steam that comes out of it.
With those ominous words, Tyke Index presses the
second button and a drone comes to life as it secures the net which our heroes
are trapped inside and slowly begins to head towards the scalding pot.
do, of course. Just for emergencies like this. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have
to get back to my relaxing day. My drones will fly you over, drop you in the
vat and that will be the end of you.
Tyke then turns and walks into the cabin while the
drone slowly begins to fly towards the giant black pot and as the trio get
closer, they can finally see the red, glowing liquid inside.
are we going to do? I’m allergic to being dropped into lava!
pretty sure everyone is allergic to being dropped into lava, Panda.
what are we going to do?
does everyone have on them?
have a map and a bottle of water. Panda? What did you bring?
We’re going to be dropped into lava. Are you sure you have nothing.
brought taffy on a hiking trip?
want to eat it, Panda. I want to try and drop the drone!
PANDA hands over the taffy and Lena reaches her arm
through a hole in the net and tosses the taffy up. It catches into the rotors
of the drone and the drone drops the net, then spirals over and crashes into
the hot lava, causing an explosion. Our three heroes climb out of the net, just
as Tyke Index bursts from inside.
was us foiling your attempt to lava-tize us!
is now. Tyke Index, you can’t just go around dropping people into lava!
my kingdom, I can do whatever you want.
The three heroes stand there and then begin to crack
away) Wait a moment. Let’s talk this through.
As he turns to run, Lena picks up Panda and hurls him
towards Tyke, hitting him in the back of the head and sending them both inside
in the cabin. A crashing sound is heard. Kan Tai and Lena Skye enter the cabin
to see Tyke Index knocked loopy as Panda lying on top of him. Over in the
corner is a table that has been set up for something very nice, it seems. A
single plate with utensils and a napkin. Scene fades and later the police are
there ready to haul Tyke Index away who has been handcuffed.
was it you were hiding here, Tyke?
was about to prepare to feast on a very rare bird. One that I had to have
imported in and would have been the meal of my life.
very illegal too.
of this for a meal? You almost dropped us in lava!
would have been worth it. I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t
for you two and that stupid panda too.
I’ve had about enough of these ‘stupid panda’ cracks. I’m a panda of average
intelligence, thank you very much!
only question now is what happened to the bird?
Scene fades out to a live background scene and Kan Tai
and her stuffed Panda come into view.
everyone! Thanks for joining us for episode five of Kan Tai Panda Adventures!
In today’s story, we saw a man who was so gluttonous that he captured a rare
bird and wanted to eat it! There are birds that are okay to eat, but we buy
them in a store. But we can’t eat things that are endangered. If I were you? I’d stick with chicken nuggets! We will see you next week!
waves and holds up Panda and gives him a shake too as the scene goes back to
the animated sequence.
We see a man
sitting at a desk and sets a fork down and then pushes his plate of bones away
was an amazing meal. Give my regards to the chef.
The man begins to laugh evilly as the scene fades out
and ends this episode.
voiced by Cash Mack
SKYE as herself
INDEX as himself