The 1996 Awards Ceremony

(fancy Logo’s and cool animation open up the show, before dissolving to show a live audience. Ed Bagel and Biff Franklin, walk on from opposite sides of the stage and meet in the middle, behind a podium)

Ed: Thank you. thank you for joining us tonight for this special occasion. I’m Ed Bagel and this is.

Biff: “The Voice” Biff Franklin.

Ed: I was going to tell them that.

Biff: You always make me sound so ordinary. and I’m far from ordinary, my friend!

Ed: *ahems* Well, tonight, the Online Wrestling Alliance is proud to bring you the 1996 OWA Achievement Awards. Each category is voted on by the members of the wrestling federation. Tonight, the awards will go to the winner. Plus, a special MVP awards will be given out by the Commissioner of the OWA.

Biff: Of course, I know who’s going to win that one. it can only be one person.

Ed: And who might that be?

Biff: ME! Who else. hahahaha. you’ll see. and I can’t wait!

Ed: Oooookay. whatever. To present out first award tonight, please welcome two newcomers to the OWA. Here are Sabin Figaro and MegaDiesel. collectively known as Brawlers, Inc!

Stable of the Year

{Sabin and Mega walk up to the podium, Sabin removes reading glasses from his pocket, and reads a card.}

Figaro: Through wrestling, the group of wrestlers, the Stable, has been a backbone. Great stables such as the IV Horsemen have defined wrestling, making it what it is today. This award celebrates the best Stable in the OWA.

MegaDiesel: And the Nominees are. The Family. The Femme Fatale. The Elite. and The Plague!

{Sabin opens up his envelope, he shows it to Mega and they grin}

Sabin: And the winner is.

Both: The Femme Fatale!

(Traci Lane’s music is played by the orchestra, as the Femme’s approach the stage, and walk over to the podium. They accept the trophy, which they pass amongst themselves, and then Traci steps up to the mic.)

Traci: I’ll be brief, something some of you don’t think is possible. We’ve worked hard to be recognized as the best, and I’m glad we’ve made that impression on you. There was tough competition in this category… the Elite, the Family, both of whom feature great competitors. Thank you, and Here’s hoping we can do it again next year!

Ed: Congratulations to the Femme Fatales.

Biff: Yeah yeah. when’s… Best Announcer… anyways?

Ed: There isn’t a… Best Announcer… award.

Biff: What? Fine. ignore my obvious talents!

Ed: Presenting the next award, please welcome, Asian Invasion and Chaos!

Tag Team of the Year

(Music is played and the two walks out and approach the podium)

Asian Invasion: Hello out there to all you damn morons. We’re here right now to give the award for best Tag Team.

Chaos: The tag teams in the OWA are some of the best in the world, tonight we would like to honor them with a.

Asian Invasion: (interrupting) Yeah, yeah, I got more important stuff to do up here, alright, now at the Wheel of Tortures Revenge, I will take on all comers, and I will make it all the way to the TOP, of Halloween Horror.

Chaos: I will be there in the Wheel of Torture, don’t think it’s going to be an easy road to the top. But, when there’s only one more match left, I will be there And I will win.

Asian Invasion: Your full of it ain’t ya.

Chaos: Your nominees for Best Tag Team are. Monica Brant & Mariko, Stacks Coltrain & Executioner, The Extremists, Amazon Woman and Prince Frederick, Brawlers, Inc, and The Chiefs.

(TV Shows nominees)

Asian Invasion: And the winner is, not that it makes a helluva difference with these friggin… tag teams, is.

(Invasion rips open the envelope and glances.)

The Extremists!

(Extremists comes up and accepts the awards)

Blades: [Thank you. We would like to thank the academy, and all the people who voted correctly.

Maxx: Yeah. Ding Dong!

Blades: We would like to thank the greatest stable in the OWA, The Elite.

Maxx: Yeah.

Blades: Thanks to Sir Goodwin


Blades: to our good friends, The Femmes.

Maxx: Yeah.

{Extremists walk off stage. Danny Maxx, as he walks off, yells “Ding Dong!”}

Ed: The next award is for… Best Face….

Biff: With a face like yours, you won’t even be in the running.

Ed: Not that kind of face.

Biff: I know. I know. sheesh.

Ed: Presenting this award, please welcome, Miguel Thunder and Sentry!

Babyface of the Year

(Both walk on to the stage and take their place behind the podium)

Thunder: There’s a ton of faces in this place, weird, serious, and umm…me!

Sentry: I do not think that is the kind of face they are talking about. Face in this case refers to someone who relishes the cheers of the fans.

Thunder: OK, yeah yeah. I wasn’t nominated, blah blah *wink*, OK, like, Here’s the nominees for the best face. Umm, Sentry, just role it.

Sentry: The nominees for Best Face are. Pretty Boy Monty. Anthony Hazard. Amazon Woman. and Anthony Hazard.

(Thunder takes the envelope and rips it open. he shows it to Sentry)

Thunder: And the winner is.

Sentry: Anthony Hazard!

Hazard: Thank you. And thank you Sir Goodwin, for without your superior guidance, I would have never been able to hold any of the OWA Titles I have.

Anthony pauses for a second]

Hazard: You know, a lot of wrestlers win in the OWA and a lot of wrestlers lose, but I think through it all, those who accept the challange night after night, without a hint of deception and strive to better the league and protect its honor, are those who truly deserve to be called Champion. I thank not only those who voted for me, but all of you.

Anthony waves to the crowd and walks off]

Ed: Congratulations to Anthony Hazard on that one.

Biff: Just goes to show, that being a goody goody will bring you awards. but not the OWA Title.

Ed: You hush. Presenting the award for “Best Heel” please welcome to the stage, the winner of Best Face, Anthony Hazard, along with The Shocker and their manager, Sir Goodwin.

Heel of the Year

Anthony: Now the award for “Best Heel”

Shocker: Are you sure it’s not “Best Loser”

Anthony: I don t think so. That s later. Anyway. The nominees are Pretty Boy Monty. Johnny Fate. Freddy Fever.

The Shocker: And the winner is

Anthony and Shocker open the envelope. They see the winner, look at each other and drop it on the podium, and walk off stage. Sir Goodwin sees this and reads the winner]

Sir Goodwin: The winner is

Freddy Fever

(Fever’s disco style music is played by the orchestra as he approaches the podium. Sir Goodwin hands Fever the award, then joins his men off stage]

Fever: Oh boy. this is a groove, man. I never never thought that all my hard work would pay off with this award for Best Heel. I have many people to thank for this award, including those I walked all over to get to the top. Amazon Woman, Monica Brant, Anthony Hazard, Extremists and Brawlers. thank you for being such saps that I could do what I’ve done and get away with it! Hahahahahaha! And I’d like to thank Mama Fever for never giving me the whooping that I always deserved so that I can be the man I am today! Kiss for ya, mama! *smooch* Thanks!

Ed: The next award is for “Best Match”. to present the award, here are “Tag Team of the Year” winners, Danny Maxx and Johnny Blades. The Extremists.

Match of the Year

Blades: Danny do you want to take this one? Since you usually just stand there.

Maxx: Yeah! Shut up.

They both laugh]

Blades: The nominees for “Best Match” are Traci Lane vs. Anthony Hazard, Amazon Woman vs. Ricky Blood, Rachel Ryan vs. Gustaffson, Ladder Match from Hardcore Heaven, and the Press Your Luck Finals

Maxx: and the winner is

The Ladder Match!

Blades: We’ve been asked to accept this award which will be kept on display at the OWA Headquarters.

Ed: The next award will be presented by.

Biff: Am I ever going to get to say anything??

Ed: Sure. go right ahead.

Biff: Great! Umm. hey. what’s next?

Ed: To present the award for most improved, here are Rachel Ryan and Traci Lane!

Most Improved Wrestler

(Rachel and Traci stand on-stage, holding an envelope.)

Traci: Now the award for the most improved wrestler in the OWA. Rachel, do you think we should be nominated here?

Rachel: Nah. We do so well, there’s no ROOM to improve.

Traci: Good point.

Rachel: The nominees are: Mariko, Stacks Coltrain, Johnny Fate, Jetstream, and Mike Mustang.

Traci: And the winner is.

Stacks Coltrain

(Stacks approaches the stage and takes the award. giving Traci a hug.)

Stacks: Wow. I never expected this. I want to thank all the Family members who’ve stood by me throughout all of this, especially Monty. Without him, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Thanks.

Ed: The Rookie of the Year is probably one of the biggest awards. Sometimes, it can help a person’s career, while other times, it tends to be a curse.

Biff: Presenting this award, please welcome Monica Brant and Gustaffson

Rookie of the Year

(Monica and Gustaffson walk to the podium together, arm in arm. Monica wears a stunning and surprisingly modest dark blue dress, while Gus is decked on in a gold colored tuxedo.)

Gustaffson: Ve are here tonight to announce the “Rookie of the Year” avard. This avard is given to un wrestler who displays an impressive amount of talent in a short time.

Monica: Personally, I think they should have added at least one more name to that list.

Gus: Please, Monica, you promised ve vould not make a scene.

Monica: (Pouts slightly) Alright, Gus. The “Rookie of the Year” was chosen because they have stood out from their fellow wrestlers. The winner will have an edge that the others lack.

Gus: (Smiling broadly) Und da nominees are Johnny Fate, Asian Invasion, Stacks Coltrain, Shogun, and Masked Mayhem.

Monica: (Imitating Gus… accent) Und za vinner ish.

Gus: (imitating Monica’s accent) Stacks Coltrain!

(Stacks again comes up to the stage.}

Stacks: I can’t believe this. Again, thanks to each of the Family members and Monty. Thanks to Rachel and Anthony for putting up one hell of a fight at Hardcore. If you think I’m done as world champion, think again. I’ll be back. Thanks.

Ed: To present the award for Best Card, here are Family members, Stacks Coltrain and Pretty Boy Monty!

Card of the Year

Stacks: Thank you. thank you and to the Rest of The Family. (camera focuses on Jetstream, Rainbow and Shogun.) Me and Monty are here to present the Awards for the OWA’s best card. Monty.

Monty: The nominees are: Endurance’s Evil Challenge, Press Your Luck, Crazy Eights, and Hardcore Heaven.

Stacks: and the Winner is…

Monty: (while attempting to open the envelope Monty rips the card in half…)
.Aw shi.

Stacks: (laughing with everyone else) This is a family show.

Monty: The winner is. is. is. oh there. Hardcore Heaven.

{The OWA Commissioner comes to podium}

Commish: This award goes not only to the OWA but to all the wrestlers that made it the best card of 1996. From the Ladder Match, to the Falls Count Anywhere match, to the Parking Lot Strap match. none of this would be possible without you, the wrestlers. Let’s hope for more to come in 1997!

{Pretty Boy Monty and Stacks Coltrain leave, but the Commish stays at the podium)

Commish: It’s my honor to present a special award for the Most Valuable Player in the OWA. When making this selection, I took several things into consideration. First, this person is one who always responds when things are needed. This person probably gives the best flash in the business today. This person is one to always be willing to work an angle if needed. Her ideas and suggestions are always first rate and whenever I needed help, this person was always there with an answer or an opinion. Ladies and Gentlemen. the 1997 MVP Award goes to. (presented to the character of the player). Traci Lane!

(Since there is no flash for this due to the fact that I wanted to keep it a secret until presentation, I’ll allow Traci’s player to send an acceptance speech as a flash if she so chooses)

Ed: A couple of awards were announced prior to going live.

Biff: The winner for Upset of the Year was Masked Mayhem defeats Mariko for the OWA TV Title, and the winner for Interview of the Year goes to Stevie Cheesecake Interviews Monica Brant.

Wrestler of the Year

Ed: For our final award tonight. for Wrestler of the Year. here are two up and coming rookies in the OWA. please welcome John Justice and Consuelo Salyards!
Wrestler of the Year

John Justice: This suit is real tight! The award for Wrestler of the Year is presented to the best. um. Wrestler of the Year.

(Consuelo just smiles)

Justice: Here are your nominees. Rachel Ryan. Traci Lane. Amazon Woman. Anthony Hazard. Pretty Boy Monty. And the winner is.

{Justice looks at Consuelo who looks back at him. he points to the envelope in her hands and she giggles and opens it up. }

Consuelo: (Holding up two fingers) Rachel Ryan and Amazon Woman

{Rachel makes her way to the stage, however, there is no sign of Amazon Woman. Rachel gets to the podium and looks around, and shrugs)

Rachel: Must have had to refill her Prozac. (She looks at her award) This means a lot. I’m glad you guys think I deserve it. I’ve gotta thank my Femmes–Gus, ‘Riko, Monica–for helping me win this. I especially want to thank Traci. She thought I could do it, and trained me and brought me in. It wouldn’ta happened if it hadn’t been for her, and I owe her for everything. (She looks at Traci, and smiles.) This is for you, babe. (Traci smiles and nods.) Thanks. See ya.

Ed: Still no sign of Amazon Woman. That’s all we have for tonight. We’ll see you soon for Halloween Horror 1996: The Wheel of Torture’s Revenge. For Biff Franklin and the rest of the OWA, I’m Ed Bagel and we’ll see you at ringside.

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