Traci Lane battles North American Champion Billy Smith in a non-title match; Mr. America defends his TV Championship against Anthony Hazard; The OWA Tag Team Championship is defended as Rachel Ryan and Wendy Ryker defends against Executioner and Stacks Coltrain
The new OWA Logo comes on screen and then fades to a capacity crowd. Camera pans to Ed Bagel and Shelly Marks at the announcer’s booth]
Ed: Welcome to OWA Championship Wrestling! I’m Ed Bagel. Biff Franklin is still suspended from the broadcast booth until after Crime Spree, so joining me tonight is the OWA’s very own Shelly Marks.
Shelly: Thanks Ed. It’s a pleasure to be here. We have some great matches lined up for the fans tonight, including Traci Lane battling Billy Smith. However, we will also have the complete line up for Crime Spree. Davey Scott is in the building and will be meeting the new OWA Commissioner, Dr. Marvin Yahmal here in front of this capacity crowd to discuss his match at Crime Spree.
Ed: Also on tap tonight, the OWA TV Championship will be decided as champion, Mr. America takes on Anthony Hazard. Hazard could be stepping into the main event at Crime Spree as the TV Champion. We will also have an OWA Tag Team Title defense as the current champions, Rachel Ryan and Wendy Ryker take on Executioner and Stacks Coltrain.
Shelly: It’s going to be a great 2 hours here on OWA Championship Wrestling.
Ed: Let’s go right on down to ringside for our first match.
Lord Wolfgang Von Richter vs. Rainbow Warrior
Announcer: This match is one fall and it is a special challenge match. First, coming down the aisle, weighing in at 354 pounds. Here is “The Baron” Wolfgang Von Richter! And his opponent. Coming down the aisle accompanied to the ring by Pretty Boy Monty, weighing in at 280 pounds. Here is the Rainbow Warrior!
Ed: This match was agreed to some time ago but with the OWA in turmoil, it’s taken this long to actually get it into the ring. I know that Von Richter is looking to get a win here over an established OWA superstar. There’s a bell. Lock up. Warrior pushes Von Richter to the ropes. Von Richter come off with a shoulderblock that knocks Warrior to the mat.
Shelly: Another lock up. Warrior again with a push off and Von Richter goes for another shoulderblock, but Warrior counters it with a belly to belly suplex. Referee counts. one. kickout by Von Richter. Both men to their feet. Warrior with a quick dropkick on the Baron.
Ed: Clothesline by the Warrior. Warrior with another clothesline, but the Baron ducks and nails Warrior with a clothesline of his own. Von Richter with a kick to the midsection and a Russian legsweep. Von Richter goes for a cross face chicken wing submission. Warrior in big trouble here. He’s trying to reach around to grab the ropes. Von Richter trying to hold him back, but Warrior finally makes it to the ropes. Referee calls for the break.
Shelly: Von Richter with a thrust kick to the head and a Gorilla press. cover. one. two. Kickout by Warrior. Richter off the ropes. Warrior nails him with a clothesline. Warrior with a swinging neckbreaker and then an atomic drop. Warrior is on a roll here. Warrior with a cartwheel kick.
Ed: Warrior with a whip. He tries for a hiptoss, but Von Richter counters with a backslide. one. two. Kickout by Warrior. Warrior is up and nails Von Richter with a clothesline. Warrior with a brainbuster on Von Richter! Cover. one. two. three!!!
Announcer: Winner of the match in 15: 45, the Rainbow Warrior!
Ed: Von Richter with a great showing tonight but Rainbow Warrior with the experience prevailed in this encounter. Now let’s go down to ringside…
Shelly: Oh! Can I do this?
Ed: Umm. Okay.
Shelly: Let’s go to the ring, where Elaine Bryant will have a special interview with Davey Scott!
Elaine: Ladies and gentlemen. Please welcome back to the OWA, a man who has down a lot of thinking and he will come down to make the FINAL decision. This is none other than “The Man, The Myth, the Rebel” Davey Scott.
. “Calling for you” begins playing as Davey Scott comes out. He high-fives the fans, and gets into the ring. Wearing a white long-sleeve shirt, black jeans, and black cowboy boots, Davey is also unshaven.]
Davey picks the extra mic from off the ground.]
Davey: I may be the Sexy Boy, I may be the Renegade. Whatever you want to call me, there has always been only ONE Davey Scott.
Davey is dancing around the ring. Finally, he returns to the center of the ring, smiling all the way.]
Elaine: Now Davey, the first question we all want to know. Are you REALLY going to quit?
Davey: Well, let takes one thing at a time. In the past nineteen days, I been doing a LOT of thinking, as you may have already knew. Now, everyone KNOWS I have a problem with authority but needless to say, I had another problem. I felt for the last few months, I wasn’t giving it my all and that I was not being appreciated. Some may call be a cry baby. Go ahead. It takes a real man, to admit that he cries. I had a lot on my mind, and it was interfering with my wrestling, and that made me sad. It made me cry. What made it even worst, was some of my actions. Some people may think I sat home, and sulked against the wall all this time during my suspension. I went back to where it all started. Back to Scottsdale, Arizona. Back to where I learned all my moves, and I just went back. I worked out, and I worked on my wrestling. I also had a talk with my mentor, and believe me, we talked for hours. What did we discuss? As short as I can make it, my future. I didn’t think I had a future, that I was not going anywhere, and that I would be the jockstrap of the federation, used and thrown away. You actually be surprised on what he told me and it really did lift my spirits. You know what he said? This is the most valuable lesson as a wrestler I could learn. There is nothing to fear, but fear itself. Before you control your opponent, you must conquer yourself… and that EXACTLY what I have done.
Davey: A reformed Davey Scott? Maybe just little. I am still, the man, the myth [more crowd pop: and the Rebel but now, I am more FOCUSED, and ready to move on with my life. [Crowd cheers]. You want to know who else helped me. A good friend of mine, who I give the highest respect to. She may be the champion of the OWA, but let me tell you something, she is the champion of the hearts. She knows what I am going through, and she even given me advice on who to conquer what I would phrase as “wrestlers block.” She also encouraged me to move on, and she also tried to convince me not to quit. She said that I have too much to work for in the OWA then to quit. [Small tears are coming to his eyes.] All the fan mail I been getting from all you fans, encouraging me to go on. so one of my final decision is clear. [pulls out a piece of paper.: You see this. this is my letter of resignation, which has a delay mark at the top seeing AS I didn’t give 30 day notice. At a good look at it. [pulls out his lighter, and raises the letter above his head, and away from anybody. he lights the letter on fire, and let the letter lets it burn, then stomps it out before it even could spread.: Let my actions speak for itself. [Crowd are going wild]
Elaine: Whoa. Now Davey, in regards to Billy Smith remarks to taking credit for you quitting the OWA, what is your reply?
Davey: I don’t have one. Let them decide.
Walks over to one side…]
Davey: DID I QUIT??
Crowd yells NO]
Davey: Ok, [walks to the other side]. How about you, do you think I quit?
Crowd SCREAMS NO!]
Davey: Hmm. tough crowd. [Walks to one end of the ring: How about you?
Crowd SCREAMS NO!]
Davey: Hmmm. [Walks to the last end and raise his arms]
Crowd screams NO!!!!!!!]
Davey: We’ll Shelly, as we can see right here. The jury has decided, without one doubt that I officially quitted. I had the thought in my mind but then I realize that it would of been the BIGGEST, the BADDEST, THE UGLIEST mistake I ever would of made. So as far as Billy Smith goes, he is taking credit for something that never happened! [Crowd cheers]
Elaine: Now, on to the last question. The match that hasn’t been announced. Are you going to accept it?
Davey pulls another piece of paper out of his shirt, which surprisingly enough is flat and smooth. He also takes out pen, kneels down to the mat, put the paper on the mat, and signs on it his name. He gets back up, and hands Shelly the contract.]
Davey: Again, let my actions speak for themselves. [Crowd cheers even more]
Elaine: On this, it doesn’t have a match name or any stipulations. How are you going to agree to a match that you don’t even know what it is?
Davey: Which leads me to bring out your NEXT guest.
Elaine: My next guest?
Davey: Your next guest, the Commissioner of the OWA, who decided to put me in this match. These people want it. They don’t know who I am going against, and they don’t know what I am up against as far as stipulations go but as the general rule goes. When Davey says he will give a good match. Davey WILL give a good match. So Mr. Commissioner. BRING ME ALL YOU GOT.
Crowd turns to the aisle and begin to pop as the new OWA Commissioner Marvin Yahmal walks down the aisle. He steps up and into the ring.]
Elaine: Mr. Commissioner?
Yahmal: Elaine. Davey and the fans of the OWA!
Yahmal turns back to Davey and Elaine: Davey, let me tell you something here. First, welcome back to the OWA. Let’s hope your stay this time around will be for good. Now, I’m going to let you know that I almost… almost voided your contract. You see, in the time you’ve been in the OWA, you know what you’ve shown me? A big fat nothing. You’re a guy who gets up here and talks and talks and then does absolutely nothing. I’ve seen it. The other wrestlers see it and these fans, though they may side with you. They see it as well. And recently you’ve come out here and cried and cried about not getting the respect you deserve. Davey, as far as I can see, you’ve earned absolutely NO respect in the OWA. A big fat zero, guy.
The crowd begins to boo. ]
Yahmal: Now, let me tell you something, hold on a second, let me finish. Here’s the thing. I think you got more in you than you’re showing. I think a real wrestler lives inside you but you have to bring it out. It’s time you earned the respect of your peers. Am I right?[Davey nods.]
Yahmal: Fine. I’m heading back to give fill this contract, the one you just signed, completely out with every stipulation in your match. Then, I’m going to photocopy it and gonna fax a copy to Myers back in the OWA studios, where he’s waiting to rundown the entire card for Crime Spree. What I want you to do, is go back to your locker room. And sit. Sit in front of that monitor and when your match is announced, you have 24 hours. 24 hours to verbally accept the stipulations of the match. If you refuse, then you’re outta here. I’ll throw your butt out of here so fast you’ll bounce down the street. You understand?
Davey: First of all, if you thought I should of been CANNED, you should of done it LONG time ago. So if you want to talk about CANNING me, you going to have to take elsewhere. However, you think you can come out here, and intimidate me, because your new, I will let it slide, but you have much to learn about the Renegades style. You think that it will take the toughest, the cruelest, the hideous match known to man or woman to make me leave? Well, to the answer shall it make me leave, the answer is HELL NO! [Crowd cheers: But to the answer to the challenge. Arizona is my home, and will always be home but it isn’t my crying towel. So give me all you got, because I am not only going to SURVIVE this match. I am going to WIN this match. [Crowd cheers again, as Davey Scott leaves the ring and heads towards the back]
Elaine: Mr. Commissioner, how about a hint on that match?
Yahmal: I’ll tell you this. The object won’t be for Davey Scott to win but to survive.
Yahmal turns and heads to the back as well.]
OWA Tag Team Championship: Rachel Ryan/Wendy Ryker vs. Executioner/Stacks Coltrain
Announcer: This match is one fall and it is for the OWA Tag Team Championship. First the challengers, coming down the aisle, accompanied to the ring by Pretty Boy Monty. The Crew presents, weighing in at a total combined weight of 415 pounds. Here are Executioner and Stacks Coltrain! And their opponents are the current reigning OWA Tag Team Champions! Weighing in at a total combined weight of 354 pounds. Accompanied to the ring by the giant, Gustaffson. Here is the team of Rachel Ryan and Wendy Ryker!
Ed: And we’re ready for our OWA Tag Team title matchup. I’m sure the Extremists are watching this one in the back. Referee is figuring out who’ll start this match. Looks like it’ll be Rachel Ryan for her team and the Executioner for his team. There’s the bell and we’re underway.
Shelly: Now Stacks and Executioner haven’t tagged up but a couple of times. Stacks has been using other partners in the past. Freddy Fever early on, then Pretty Boy Monty. I can understand Monty ducking out of this match with his upcoming OWA Title shot coming up.
Ed: We have a lock up. Ryan nails Executioner with a forearm smash and a fist to the midsection. Ryan misses a clothesline when Executioner ducks and comes back with an enzuigiri. Executioner with a tag to Stacks Coltrain this early in the match.
Shelly: Looks like the Crew team is going to try and make quick tags. Stacks nails Ryan with a couple of chops and then whips her into the corner. Stacks charges in but it caught with a knee from Ryan. Stacks staggers back from the corner and Ryan comes out with a devastating clothesline.
Ed: Rachel tags in Wendy who takes Stacks over with a German suplex. Wendy with a whip but Stacks comes off the ropes with a flying clothesline. Wendy ducks a kick to the head and goes for a double underhook piledriver but Stacks counters with a backdrop which Wendy counters with a sunset flip. one. Kickout by Stacks.
Shelly: Ryker nails Stacks with a swinging punch and follows it up with a gutwrench suplex and a spin kick for good measure and Wendy Ryker is pumped this week. Ryker with a whip. Stacks goes for an elbow, but Wendy ducks and Stacks comes off with a shoulderblock.
Ed: Uh oh. The Extremists have stepped into the aisle way and are taking a keen interest in this match. The giant, Gustaffson, who’s at ringside notices and steps in front of the aisleway. In the ring, Stacks has set up Wendy and hits with a Tombstone. cover. one. two. Kickout by Ryker.
Shelly: Stacks tags in Executioner. Executioner nails Ryker with a German suplex. Ryker with a facerake and then a backbreaker. Ryker goes for a flying bulldog, but Executioner side steps and nails her with a dropkick.
Ed: Rachel Ryan from the outside, nails Executioner with a clothesline. He was too close to the ropes and she just leveled him. Stacks coming in, complaining to the referee and Wendy hits a low blow on Executioner! Stacks leaves the ring and Wendy hits the DDT! Cover. one. two. three!!!
Announcer: Winner of the match in 23: 19, and STILL OWA Tag Team Champions. Wendy Ryker and Rachel Ryan!
Ed: Extremists feeling happy that the Femmes kept the tag team championship.
Shelly: Let’s go to the OWA Studios, where Myers Watterson will give us the complete run down for Crime Spree!
Crime Spree Update
Myers: This is your Crime Spree report. Crime Spree comes to you live on PPV, on May 4th. It’ll come to you from the Seattle WA and the arena there has already sold out so the only way to see Crime Spree is on PPV. Now, let’s run down the entire card for you.
First, the main event. It’ll be as wild as last year. It’ll be a Triangle Ladder Match for the OWA Championship. Monica Brant defends against Pretty Boy Monty and former champion Traci Lane. Last year’s triangle ladder match was voted Match of the Year and this one should exceed that one.
The North American title will be on the line at Crime Spree in not one but three matches. Current champion, Billy Smith will take on Tom Tomorrow in the first match and if he’s successful he’ll be going on to meet Consuelo Salyards in the second. And if Billy Smith makes it past Salyards he’ll take on former champion Rainbow Warrior in the last match. The title will be on the line in each of the three matches.
Another match that was signed is a roof match for the OWA TV Championship, pitting Mr. America against Virgo. On top of the arena, a cage will be put up all the way around the building. However, there will be a 6-foot opening along one wall of the cage. The object? To push your opponent through that 6-foot opening out off the roof. Never fear, below an inflatable mattress will be set up, just like they are used in movies to catch the stunt actors.
Inside a local Seattle Bar, there will be no rules as the OWA Tag Team Champions, Wendy Ryker and Rachel Ryan battle the Extremists in the first ever Seattle Bar Room Brawl. There are no rules, and the winning team must knock out both members of the opposing team to be declared the victor.
A Graffiti Match has been signed for Crime Spree, pitting Harvard Earl against Danny Bouchard. The winner is the one who spray paints “LOSER” on the back of his opponent.
In a no hold barred match. No count-out, no DQ and falls count anywhere. Michelle Cox takes on Freddy Fever in a match where the winner will face the OWA Champion at Press Your Luck.
First Blood match between Miguel Thunder and Blackout for Crime Spree.
New OWA Trio Tag Champions, Executioner, Stacks Coltrain and Shogun (who’ll be filling in for Pretty Boy Monty) will be taking on the MP Inc. team of Big Russ Gator, Kodiak and Nazghul.
With the injunction now lifted, new OWA Commissioner, Marvin Yahmal has signed Ricky Hype and Taleis to take on the team of Biff Franklin and Johnny Stallion.
Plus these other matches.
Masked Plague will take on Asian Invasion.
Tara Quinn will take on Diamond Brett Robbins.
Wolfgang Von Richter to face Crimson Scorpion.
Nightmare to face The Mosher.
And Mariko will take on The Shocker!
Myers is handed a piece of paper and he glances at it: I’ve just gotten this fax from the commissioner of the OWA. This match involves Davey Scott and will be part of Crime Spree. The Commissioner is calling it a “Respect Match: Davey Scott vs. the OWA”. Here are the stipulations. Davey Scott will enter the ring first. The other wrestlers in the OWA will have drawn numbers prior to the match. Only the numbers 1-20 will be drawn, the others will be blank. At the bell, the wrestler who drew number one enters the ring. Davey will wrestle that wrestler, until he can pin them or until 2 minutes has elapsed. At that point, that person will leave and the person who drew number 2 will climb into the ring. Davey will fight that person until he pins them or until 2 minutes has expired. This continues until the last person is in the ring. To win the match, Davey has to survive through 20 OWA superstars. The wrestlers on the outside will act like lumberjacks while they are out there. If Davey tries to leave the ring, they can throw him back in. Of course, if Davey Scott is pinned at any time during that match, he loses the bout. If that happens, the wrestlers on the outside will get a $1,000 bonus in their paycheck at the end of the night. If Davey survives, hell hopefully have earned the respect of his peers and hell collect $10,000 for the match. This will be the toughest match in Davey’s career, I have no doubt. The odds of him surviving this encounter is slim to none. Davey Scott vs. the OWA as part of Crime Spree.
That’s the complete line up for Crime Spree. Let’s go back to the arena for our OWA TV Title defense.
Hazard is standing in his locker room wearing a Ricky Hype “The Show” T-shirt, the Extremist can be seen in the background]
Hazard: In a few minutes, I’ll get back the belt I had to give up for the OWA Championship Title. America, don’t get me wrong, you are good at what you do, you are a fine wrestler and have a lot of potential. Hell, I would even go as far as saying I see a little of Traci Lane in ya. But even Traci had respect enough to admit she didn’t have the skill or the talent to defeat me in our first title match encounter. Of course, now look at her, she is one of the finest wrestlers in history and yes, I do claim being the one who helped her to realize what she needed to do to become this great champion she is.
The Extremist are now watching Anthony intently]
Hazard: You will lose no respect from anyone once I reclaim my title from you. Everyone knows and admits I am the best wrestling has to offer. And no matter what we’ve said to or thought about each other these last few weeks, let’s go out there and give our fans the best match they could want. If it’s in the ring, great. If it’s on the floor, then I’ll be gentleman enough to help you out of the ring.
Anthony glares at the camera as he grins]
As the screen chromes out, the Extremist start making faces behind Anthony’s back]
OWA TV Championship: Mr. America vs. Anthony Hazard
Announcer: This match is one fall and it is for the OWA TV Championship. First, the challenger. Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 207 pounds. Here is Anthony Hazard! And his opponent, weighing in at 275 pounds. He’s the current OWA TV Champion! This is Mr. America!
Ed: Anthony Hazard with a series of title shots this month. While he defeated Billy Smith on Friday, it was a countout win and Smith retained the North American Championship. Now, Mr. America and Anthony Hazard have been having words as of late and this match is a result of that. Of course, it looks like Mr. Hazard will have other troubles if Freddy Fever has anything to say about it.
Shelly: Well, Anthony Hazard has been going around calling himself a legend, and Freddy Fever has taken objection to that. While, I’m not going to jump on sides, I think that Hazard may be a little presumptuous when it comes to calling himself a legend.
Ed: There’s a bell and both men circle. And finally lockup. America with a whip. He nails Hazard with a clothesline. Hazard back to his feet. Mr. America tries for an elbow, but Hazard ducks and takes over Mr. America with a backdrop.
Shelly: Hazard off the ropes. Mr. America knocks him down with a shoulderblock. Dragon suplex by Mr. America. America with a whip. He goes for a backdrop but Hazard stops and clamps on a headlock. America counters with a belly to back suplex.
Ed: Hazard rolls away from an elbowdrop by America and nails America with a dropkick and a legdrop. Hazard off the ropes nails America with a flying clothesline. Cover by Hazard. one. t. kickout by America.
Shelly: Hazard off the ropes with a shoulderblock. OH! America counters with a hotshot and Hazard is clutching his throat. We could have an injury here. America is calling for the piledriver! He sets up Hazard and NAILS him. cover. one. two. three. NO!! Hazard at the last possible moment puts a foot on the ropes!
Ed: America beefing with the referee. He turns back to Hazard and calls for another Piledriver. NO! Hazard with a backdrop. America is up and nails Hazard with a DDT. America with a short lariat. He goes for another, but Hazard ducks and rolls him up. one. two. Kickout by America.
Shelly: Hazard nails America with a spin kick and a flying shoulderblock. Cover. one. two. Kickout by America. Hazard calling for the Reverse Powerslam. Hold on. Virgo is coming down the aisle. He climbs up on the apron and Hazard takes a swing at him.
Ed: Hold up! Look on the other side. Shogun has slid into the ring and just clocked Mr. America with a Palm Blow. The referee is calling for the bell. Hazard looks around and goes after Shogun, who’s out of the ring. Hazard looks pretty pissed.
Shelly: Well, you can hardly blame him. He’s been gipped out of two titles just this week. Now what’s this? Shogun and Virgo high fiving each other. This was a set up all along. Apparently they want Mr. America to hold on to that title.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, at 20: 22, the referee has stopped the match due to outside interference. This match has been declared null and void. No contest. Mr. America retains the OWA TV Championship.
Ed: The crowd is irate at this and you can’t blame them. You can expect a rematch in the near future.
Shelly: It was a great match, no doubt about that. The rematch will be just as great.
(Traci Lane is in the frozen meats section of the local Food World, considering the difference between two packs of chicken breasts, when she notices the camera. Raising an eyebrow, she says,
Traci: You could have chosen a time when I was a bit better prepared.
Cameraman: Sorry. We got a memo to try to catch you guys unexpectedly. You know, to make it spontaneous.
Traci: Hmm. I can’t wait to see what it’s like when you surprise one of the guys in the men’s room. Okay, well, let’s see. Oh, yes! Why don’t I comment on the OWA’s favorite “Badass”, Billy Smith? Billy, I really don’t get where all this anger and hostility you radiate comes from, but friend, it won’t do you any good when we tangle. Do you honestly believe I’ve never faced a young Turk like you before? Do you really believe you’re bringing anything to the table that I haven’t seen–and beaten–before? Dream on! After we wrestle, I’ll walk out the winner, and you’ll leave like so much–(she tosses one pack of breasts into her cart)–dead meat.
I’d like an additional stipulation to our match. If you win, Billy, I’ll have no trouble at all acknowledging you as the better wrestler–after all, if you win, you ARE the better wrestler, at least on that night. But if I win. I want you to do the same thing. If I should triumph, I want you, on the house mic, to admit I was the better wrestler. Of course, I’ll be more than willing to do the same if you should emerge victorious. What do you say, Billy? Willing to play for those stakes? I want this to be about more than titles–I want PRIDE on the line as well. What do you say, Mr. Smith?
(Gustaffson walks up to the cart, a box of cereal under each arm, and digging into an open container of Corn Pops. He gulps down a handful, then tosses the empty box into the cart.)
Gustaffson: Traci! You are on da Veaties box! (He holds up a box of Wheaties, showing Traci, wearing the OWA championship belt.)
Traci: Oh! They’ve come out! Is Hazard’s box there?
Gustaffson: Ya. Dey are not selling as ve’ll as yours.
Traci: (Giggles.) I’ll have to rub that in a little…
Gustaffson: Hey! Dere is a special on Pop Tarts on aisle seven!
Traci: Oh! By all means, we’ll have to hit that. Say, do you have anything to offer on. Danny Bouchard?
Gustaffson: Ya! Danny Bouchard–you get LUCKY against me and den you crow about it over and over! Vell, I am almost healed vrom my injury, and I vi’ll CRUSH you like de vorthless loudmouth you are!!!
(Wendy Ryker and Rachel Ryan walk up, carrying 12-packs of Coors Light. They put them on the basket under the cart.)
Wendy: Hey, Trace! What’s the holdup?
Traci: Oh, our friends from the OWA have dropped in for a few spontaneous comments.
Wendy: “Spontaneous”, huh? Fine! Here’s something right off the cuff. Extremists! I don’t know if you goobers understand that you did the WORST possible thing when you jumped us after losing. See, we fight better when we’re PISSED! And we are definitely hopping mad after that. This isn’t about the belts now–it’s about beating you up, and we’re gonna do exactly that!
Rachel: No hell! And as for the J-Crew, they ain’t takin these belts, no way, no how! You think you’re the first group that’s wanted all the straps before? Yeah, right. You’d better keep your feet on the ground, or you’ll lose the belts you DO have!!!
(Mariko enters from off-camera, holding a toothpick with meat on the end of it.)
Mariko: Traci-san, they are providing free samples of spiced sausage. You like this, yes?
(Traci takes the toothpick, and chews the sample.)
Traci: Mmmmm. That’s outstanding. I’ll have to take some home. Say, you’ve had some negative comments from those clowns in MP Inc., right?
Mariko: Hai. These men are gaijin to the OWA, and unworthy of respect. They have no honor. I have already conquered Diamond Brett Robbins. I will destroy any others that dare oppose me. I will show them no mercy, as they have seen.
Traci: None of us will, of course. They act like a bunch of fifteen year-olds. Hey, Consuelo! What are you doing?
(Consuelo wanders up, comparing a bottle of Pantene Pro-V to a container of Vidal Sassoon.)
Consuelo: Can ya believe the price of shampoo these days? What a racket!!!
Traci: Trust me, I know. You’ve got some very interesting men in your life these days.
Consuelo: Oh, I don’t know about interesting. Actually Billy “The Dumb Ass” Smith bores me to tears. Billyboy, what’s that I hear? Is that your knees knocking together? America called it right from the beginning: you’re a sack of [CENSORED] champion, you ducked me like none other, and come Crime Spree, I’m gonna pound you from pillar to post. Come get some! Arriba Consuelo! Arriba las Femmes!!!
Traci: (She turns to the camera.) Well, as you can see, whether it’s at work or elsewhere, we’re always focused on our competition. When you’re talking about the Femmes, you’re talking about the BEST, and as much as I love my good friend Stacks, the Crew won’t have all the belts because I’m going to regain my title at Crime Spree, and Wendy and Rachel have the tag straps. And to anybody out there thinking about getting in the middle of our business, payback isn’t a bitch, it’s a FEMME.
(Gustaffson tugs on Traci’s arm.)
Gustaffson: Traci! Pop Tarts!
Traci: (Smiles at the camera.) Gotta go!
Ed: We’ve been joined by the OWA Commissioner.
Yahmal: Thanks Ed. I have just seen the blatantly obvious interference from Shogun and Virgo. Now, I am sure the wrestlers involved are going to have a lot to say, but I think both Mr. America and Anthony Hazard are pretty pissed at what has taken place tonight. Therefore, this Thursday we’ll be in San Bernadine CA at the Orange County Fairgrounds. The main event for that card will be as follows. Virgo and Shogun will team up to take on the team of Mr. America and Anthony Hazard. Now, before I get flamed by the wrestlers involved I will note that this match is mandatory and will happen. The wrestlers may not like this idea, but I think that in light of what’s happened that this is a good way to settle this. I’m also going to sign a rematch between Mr. America and Anthony Hazard sometime after the PPV. Thanks.
Ed: Big announcement. This Thursday, Mr. America and Anthony Hazard will team up again to face the team of Shogun and Virgo. The last time Hazard and America teamed up was at Endurance’s Evil Challenge back in February. And it didn’t work out that well. We’ll have to see if they can work as a unit this Thursday. Let’s go down to ringside for our main event.
Traci Lane vs. Billy Smith
Announcer: This match is one fall and it is a non-title match! First, coming down the aisle, weighing in at 275 pounds. He’s the current reigning North American Champion. Here is Billy Smith! And his opponent. Being led down the aisle by the giant, Gustaffson, weighing in at 194 pounds. “The Black Widow” Traci Lane!
Ed: Most of the wrestlers in the OWA have very little respect for Billy Smith, but you have to give him credit. He’s racked up a number of impressive wins and he is the North American Champion. But he may be in over his head in this match. Smith is known for his upsets but Traci Lane is the best there is at this time.
Shelly: Billy’s talk as of late has been rather confident. I think maybe he’s a little overconfident and that could surely spill the defeated of Billy Smith. Now, the North American title is not on the line. Only the OWA Championship in this encounter.
Ed: Referee takes the belt, hand the North American belt to the attendant at ringside.
Shelly: There’s the bell. Billy turns to ye’ll at a fan and Traci Lane just nails him with a dropkick and Billy goes out over the top rope to the floor. Lane follows him out and whips him into the guardrailing. She is intense tonight.
Ed: Lane pushes Smith back into the ring and climbs in but Smith nails her with a couple of stomps coming in. Smith with a jumping DDT but Lane counters with a backdrop. Lane off the ropes. Smith ducks a clothesline and nails Lane with a clothesline.
Shelly: Lane gets to her feet and Smith nails her with a dropkick to the knee. DDT by Billy Smith. He goes for the cover. one. Kickout by Lane. Smith pulls her up and nails her with a fisherman suplex. cover. one. Kickout by Lane.
Ed: Smith off the ropes with a dropkick that misses when Lane steps aside. Lane pulls him up and nails him with a short clothesline. Smith rolls out of the ring and Lane follows him out. Smith grabs a ring bell and nails the champion with it!
Shelly: That’s the hardcore in Billy Smith coming out. He runs the head of Lane into the ringpost and now she’s busted open. Smith sets up a table and slams the head of the champion on to it. He rolls her on top and he goes to the apron. He leaps off with an elbowsmash, but Lane rolls off the table and Smith goes through the table.
Ed: Lane is up but bleeding profusely and rolls Smith back into the ring. She hits him with a side suplex and then heaves him up. Gorilla Press Piledriver! But she doesn’t cover him. She’s got him up again and another Gorilla Press Piledriver! The champion is bloody and battered, but not beaten. She puts a foot on his chest. one. two. three!!!
Announcer: At 17: 45, the winner. Traci Lane!
Shelly: Great match by both competitors. Billy made a fatal mistake with that table shot and Traci Lane is victorious this evening.
Ed: We have run out of time for this evening. We’ll be back again next week with another edition of OWA Championship Wrestling. For the whole OWA crew. We’ll see you next week!