Biff Franklin makes his debut as the new color commentator; Shogun tries to gain revenge on his former tag partner Larry Brown; North American Champion Amazon Woman defends her title against The Shocker; Pretty Boy Monty returns to the ring and the battle between the ICWF and OWA takes another turn

Previously on OWA Championship Wrestling

{{Monica looking rather upset, decides she wants no part of this interview and begins to walk off. from behind Stevie clothesline her hard. he picks her up and gives her a piledriver. he stands over her and removes his OWA T-shirt revealing an ICWF T-shirt underneath. he straddles her and sits down on her stomach facing her and leans over giving her a little kiss. }}

Ed: What a disgusting display by my former broadcast partner. we’ll get back to that in a moment. let me introduce you to my new partner here on OWA Championship Wrestling. he is “The Voice” Biff Franklin.

Biff: Why thank you for that wonderful introduction. Hello OWA fans, I’m “The Voice” Biff Franklin and I’ll be bringing you the play by play from now on. You can go now, Ed. I can take it from here.

Ed: Um. excuse me? I’m the host of this show.

Biff: Oh. there must be some mistake. no one told me about a cohost.

Ed: Umm. No. I’m the main host. now. let’s get back to the topic at hand. Crazy Eights it coming up July 14th, only on PPV and for an update on the battle royals, let’s go to Myers Watterson and the Crazy Eights Update.

Biff: Another announcer?? I’m going to have to look at my contract.

Crazy Eights Update

Myers: This is your Crazy Eights Update.

Now. let’s get to the battle royals. First we know that Battle Royal number one will feature these OWA Superstars: Intimidator, Traci Lane, Johnny Stallion, and Johnny Blades, we now know that the ICWF superstars for this match will be. Denise Duncan, Rob Foster, Fenris, and Kelly Kandelski

Battle Royal number two will feature these OWA Superstars: OWA’s North American Champion Amazon Woman, JetStream, Colt, and Monica Brant, plus these four ICWF superstars: Cerebus, Lace, Arlechino and a mystery partner. We now know that the mystery partner for the ICWF team will be none other then former OWA Announcer, Stevie Cheesecake. you saw the footage at the top of the program. let’s go to Monica Brant, who had this to say following that vicious attack.

Monica Brant

(The camera pulls back to reveal a plush penthouse suite, somewhere in the world. The room is huge, complete with it’s own hot tub, Jacuzzi, bar, patio and entertainment center. Most of this wonderful luxury is marred by smashed furniture, broken windows and a few unconscious men who look like waiters. “Misty” Monica Brant is sitting in front of the television, watching a video tape of her interview with Stevie Cheesecake.)

Monica: Hmmm, Stevie, Stevie, have been a bad boy. (Monica looks around the destroyed room.) Sorry about the mess.I was a little upset when I came back this morning, but I’m feeling better now. (Monica picks up a letter this is lying amongst the wreckage.)

This made me feel much better. According to this, Stevie Cheesecake and I are going to be in the same battle royal at Crazy Eights.

(Monica chuckles, laughs, and then bolts up from the couch.)


(Monica pauses taking deep breaths, trying to calm down.)

Running to the ICWF won’t save you, running to the edge of the earth won’t save you. When I’m done with you, you’re gonna be Swiss cheesecake.

(Monica turns back to the television, where the end of the interview is playing, showing Stevie straddling Brant on the floor. Monica looses it, yelling at the top of her lungs. She picks up the chair she was sitting on and smashes it into the television, sending glass everywhere. Then, she takes the remnants of the chair and moves toward the camera. The picture quickly shuts off.)

Myers: Back to the battle royals.

Battle Royal number three, the OWA will be using, Gustaffson, Anthony Hazard, Stacks Coltrain and OWA TV Champion Mike Mustang and representing the ICWF: Kevin Taylor, Jennifer Sanders, Caray Zents, and Spanish Rose.

And for Battle Royal number four, it’ll be Sabin Figaro, Scott Cobalt, Executioner and Stealth V and from the ICWF: Soultaker, Stewart Zents, Python Princess, and Justice.

Now. two more battle royals to announce. Battle Royal number five will have: Pretty Boy Monty, Mariko, Danny Maxx and Masked Mayhem and from the ICWF: Gretchen Gwynne, Taskmaster, Ray Fisher and Randi.

Battle Royal number six will have WildShadow, Prince Frederick, The Shocker and Mr. Excitement. They’ll be joined by Deborah Duncan, Vision in Violet, Leather, and Tanya Mankiller

Battle Royal number seven will feature: Asian Invasion, Davey Scott, Legion, and Miguel Thunder, along with these wrestlers from the ICWF: J.Q. Smooth, Kommando Karla, VIXXEN, and ICWF US Tag Team Champion Brandi

And in the final Battle Royal: OWA Champion Rachel Ryan, Shogun, Sentry, Johnny Fate, along with ICWF Champion Masked Marauder, ICWF North American Champ Jessica Spangles, Angel, and ICWF Tag Team Champion Maria Mankiller

The winner of each battle royal will meet in a final battle royal to determine the Crazy Eights Champion.

Also slated for this card is a singles match between Prince Frederick and Nabiki Yen.

Let’s get back to the arena with Ed and Biff.

Larry Brown vs. Shogun

Ed: Shogun is in the ring. we are waiting for the presence of Larry Brown, “the Blade”.

Biff: “The Blade?” What kind of name is that?

Ed: He’s some kind of former hockey player. I think it’s a hockey term.

Biff: Hockey? What kind of sissy sport is that? Hey. does Larry know he’s wrestling tonight??

Ed: He obviously signed a contract for it. remember, Larry and Shogun used to be tag team partners until Brown turned on Shogun. Hold on. the bell is ringing.

Announcer: The winner of this match, due to forfeit is Shogun.


{Shogun grabs the mic}
I know you’re here Larry Brown.

{Shogun throws down the mic and heads for the locker room.}

Ed: We need some cameras to get back there. oh . we have some? Get us a picture.

{Hand held camera comes on and we follow Shogun to Brown’s locker room. he kicks open the door and we see Brown packing his things.}

Brown: Hey. get away from…

{He’s stopped by a savate kick from Shogun, who then officially attacks Brown with kicks and chops. Shogun runs him head first into the wall. He picks up Larry’s hockey stick and…}

(((Black screen for a few moments}}}

{When we come back on the air we see Ed and Biff. looking in disgust at what they’ve seen}

Ed noticing they’re back on the air: Oh. pardon. we had to cut that as what happened what NOT suitable for public display.

Biff: Is there a proctologist in the house? Larry Brown needs one right now. and I doubt we’ll be seeing much of him around the OWA after tonight.

Ed: I really doubt that. let’s. ugh. let’s go to a commercial and we’ll be right back.

Attention Hotline Fans!

In the upcoming Crazy Eights PPV, the ICWF and the OWA will battle against each other. but this reporter knows that there is an ICWF wrestler and an OWA wrestler who will not be looking to battle one another as they are having a hot and torrid love affair. You want to know who? You want to hear an audio recording of one of their previous “meetings”? You want information where you can purchase exclusive pictures and videos of this event? Call the OWA Information Hotline at 1-900-OWA-LINE. We’ll have this story until midnight tonight, so call now.

Ed: Larry Brown is being wheeled out on a stretcher…

Biff: Face down, I’m sure.

Ed: …but we do have another match waiting in the ring.

Mr. Excitement vs. Davey Scott

Ed: Davey Scott quickly moves in with a punch. he goes for a flying clothesline, but misses as Excitement ducks the move. Excitement with a kick to the head. cradle by Excitement, one two kickout by Scott.

Biff: Scotty is up and quickly gets a body slam on Kirk.

Ed: That’s Scott and Excitement.

Biff: Whatever. Scott with an atomic drop. but Excitement counters with a bulldog headlock. whips into the ropes by Excitement and he nails Scott with an elbow. Excitement misses with a shoulderblock, and Scott catches him with a powerslam. one. two. kickout by Excitement.

Ed: Scott with a…

Biff: …legdrop on Excitement. and piledriver. cover by Scott. one. two. kickout by Excitement. Scott with a whip, reversal by Excitement and nails Scott with a backbreaker off the ropes.

Ed: Excitement off the ropes and…

Biff: …he nails Scott with a bulldog headlock. backspin DDT by Excitement. Scott tries for a suplex, but he can’t hold Excitement up as they fall. one. two. three!!!

Winner of the match is Mr. Excitement. Time of Match: 13: 26.

{Scenes of Mike Mustang’s recent victories.}

Announcer: He’s the OWA TV Champion.

{Scenes of Mariko in action}

Announcer: And she’s looking for her first. Mike Mustang defends the OWA TV Championship against Mariko, next week on OWA Championship Wrestling.

North American Championship: Amazon Woman vs. Shocker

Ed: Joining us at this time is the OWA Commissioner along with the ICWF’s IC Champion Arlechino.

Commissioner: After this match I am going to ringside to demand that Amazon Woman turn over the ICWF’s InterContinental Championship or be suspended from this organization.

Arlechino: You know, the OWA sure is a nice place to visit. But, I wouldn’t want to get jumped from behind here!

Arlechino gets up and heads for ringside.]

Biff: Hey. what’s that goof doing?

Commissioner: I had better do something about this. (he gets up and heads out.)

Ed: Amazon Woman is making her way to ringside, and from behind with a chair it’s Arlechino nailing her. he grabs the InterNet belt and tosses it aside then grabs the IC belt. He picks up Amazon and nails her with the belt and walks back, brushing by the OWA Commissioner. he’s on his way here.

Arlechino: Well, tit for tat, Amazon. Looks like you’re not the only one who can swing a big stick. But, hey, don’t worry, big W. This ain’t gonna be a long-term gig. I just came back to get what was mine (holds up Intercontinental title belt). Next time you decide to use your five-finger discount, don’t do it my back yard. Comprende? Crazy Eights is gonna be a rocking… good time, daddy-o. And, I can’t wait to get this party started!

Arlechino walks out of the broadcast area. the camera goes down to Amazon Woman who is now in the ring.]

Biff: Maybe Amazon Woman should call this one off.

Ed: I think she’d lose the InterNet belt if she did. She has to defend.

Biff: There’s the bell and Shocker is all over her. several kicks to the midsection by the challenger on the Amazon Woman.

Ed: Shocker’s now…

Biff: …going for his finisher. the sleeperhold. and Amazon Woman is going out.

Ed: The ref…

Biff: …is calling for the bell. it’s over. we have a new North American Champion. the Shocker.

Winner of the match and NEW North American Champion, The Shocker. Time of Match: 4: 13

Femme Fatale

(Traci Lane, dressed in a revealing white tennis skirt, serves a vicious overhand smash toward a man with close-cut blonde hair. He dives toward the ball and misses as it bounces once and sails out. As he gets up, we see that it’s Andre Agassi.)

Man: Damn! (Slings his racket down and walks toward the net.)

Traci: (She meets him at the net and hops over.) Sorry, Andre. I’ll slow ‘em down next time.

Andre: Jesus, I didn’t even win a SET.

Traci: So what else is new? Look at it this way, the more you play us Femmes, the better you’ll be when you meet lower quality opposition like Chang and Sampras.

Andre: Yeah, well, I guess. I gotta go, Brooke’s meeting me at Spago’s at three.

Traci: Okay. See you Tuesday!

(Agassi smiles weakly, then walks off, muttering. Traci turns, to see Rachel Ryan on the adjoining court, clad in a similarly scant skirt. She breaks left and right as she exchanges volleys with her opponent, before, with a cry, she blows a shot by.)

Rachel: Yeah!!! (She jumps the net, and helps the man she’s just beaten to stand.) Great game, guy!

(John McEnroe shakes his head, slings his racket flying, then storms off.)

Rachel: What’s with him, I wonder?

Traci: (Shrugs.) Beats me. These tennis guys get all bent out of shape when you sweep them every time.

Rachel: Go figure. (She puts her arm around Traci as they walk.) Great match the other day. If you’d hit with that piledriver.

Traci: Yes, but I didn’t. You won it, and you’re a great champion. I look forward to another chance at you.

Rachel: No kidding. You’ve changed finishers though, right?

Traci: Yes. The Gorilla Press Piledriver gives me a bit more offensive punch, I feel. I modelled it somewhat after your power slam of that nature.

Rachel: I’m flattered.

Traci: You should be. I don’t let just anyone influence me. Say, what do you think of this nonsense with Amazon Woman and Prince Frederick?

Rachel: (Laughs.) Those losers deserve one another. And y’know, I’ve still got a score to settle with her. Anytime she wants a shot at the belt, I’m willing to give it.

Traci: I see. And thank goodness, Monty isn’t gone. I don’t know what we’d’ve done without the Family to kick around. They look so cute when they’re screaming and eating peanut butter sandwiches.

(Both laugh.)

Rachel: That Cheesecake moron is a freak of nature. He’s gonna wish he’d never *seen* Monica when she’s done with him.

Traci: No kidding. I’ve got a feeling that she’s nearly homocidal. I tried to call her, but I got a message about her phone being disconnected. I hope she checks in soon.

Rachel: Oh, well, That’s it for me. Sauna time?

Traci: Capital idea.

(The pair link arms and stroll away.)

Johnny Fate vs. Barry Horoscope

{Johnny Fate walks down to the ringside area and grabs the mic from the ring announcer. Crowd doesn’t know what to expect}

Johnny Fate: Listen up! I’m Johnny Fate, and I’m coming to the OWA! All of you will know my name by the end of tonight, but I’ll get to that in a minute. I came out here because I wanted to talk about some of the wrestlers here in the OWA! For example WildShadow! This guy thinks he’s bad.Ha! My grandmothers badder than him. If he’s soooo bad how come he doesn’t act like it! You want to know F#@&ing bad, I’ll tell you what F*&%ing bad. ME! I don’t give a damn what people think about me! You’ll either love me or hate me, but you will respect me!

(Mixed reaction from the crowd)

Bell Rings]

Ed: Here we have the debut of..

Biff: …Johnny Fate. I’ve heard some good things about this guy. he attacks Barry from behind. he’s all over this guy. spinning power bomb by Fate. and a superkick. cover by Fate. this should be all. one. two. he pulls him up. whip into the corner. and handspring moonsault. then another superkick and a cover. one. two. he pulls him up again.

Ed: Oh. come on now. there’s no reason for this.

Biff: I think Johnny wants to make a lasting impression. here we go. a Rocker Dropper and a cover. one. two. three! He’s finished off Barry. hold on.

Ed: What’s this guy doing now?? He’s pulled something out from under the ring. it’s a steel pipe. what does he think he’s going to do with. NO!

Biff: He parted Barry’s scalp with it. We’re going to need some medical assistance out here. the ref is warning Johnny with a fine or DQ or something. trying to get Johnny away from ringside.

Ed: I think Elaine is down at ringside to get some words with the newcomer.

Elaine Bryant: Ok joining me know is the man who put out Barry Horoscope just moments ago. Johnny Fate. my first question for you, Johnny is why you felt you need to do that to Barry.

Johnny: Well first let me say that you are one fine, fine looking lady! I would love to just grab you and…

Bryant: Excuse me for interrupting you, but this is a family show! I can have you taken off this interview segment like that!

Johnny: Oh Okay! I’m sorry! Go on!

Bryant: Like I asked you before why did you attack Barry like that?

Johnny: You see it’s very simple Elaine. I’m a man that likes to shock people. I’m a man that knows what people like to see! I’m a man that only cares about me, myself, and I attacked Barry because I don’t like the Son Of a $^%$#!

Bryant: Listen I said that this was a family show, and If you’re going to keep using language like that I’m going to have to stop the interview!

Johnny: Ha! Ha! Ha! First of all see if you can stop me! Second I’ll stop swearing when I want to!

Bryant: Well next time you do, I’m stopping this interview.

Johnny: Did you just threaten me?

Elaine: Uh. Uh. Uh. Well.

Johnny: Did you?

Elaine: No. I was just.

Johnny: I think you did! But I’m not here to deal with you! I’m here to talk to you about a man! A man that thinks that he is Bad! A man that thinks he is Wild! The man is WildShadow! This man thinks that he’s just Gods Gift To The World doesn’t he?

Elaine: Well I haven’t had the opportunity to interview him yet.

Johnny: Well.When you do interview him tell him this. Fate will be knocking on his door very soon! Cause you see Johnny’s not in this sport for the Gold! Johnny’s not in this sport for the Glory. Johnny’s not in it for the fans! Johnny’s in the sport for one reason and one reason only, and that for himself! Now if you wouldn’t mind I was wondering if you would like to go out with me later on tonight?

Elaine: I’ve got better things to do!

Johnny: Trust me! You may not want it now, but sooner of later you will!

{Johnny walks away raising his hand up in the air}

Elaine: Back to you Ed and Biff.

Scott Cobalt vs. Miguel Thunder

Ed: This match is underway. Cobalt…

Biff: …attacks Thunder before the bell. Cobalt off the ropes, but Thunder nailed him with a backdrop. elbowsmash by Thunder. Thunder misses a dropkick, Cobalt quickly is up and nails Thunder with a savate kick. gutwrench suplex by Cobalt and pin. one. two. kickout by Thunder.

Ed: Cobalt missed with a clothesline. Thunder comes back with a swinging neckbreaker. cover.

Biff: One. two. kickout by Cobalt who comes up with a belly to belly suplex. superkick by Cobalt. he puts Thunder on the top turnbuckle. Cobalt with belly to back superplex. cover. one. two. three.

Ed: That’s all for Thunder.

Winner is Scott Cobalt. Time of match: 6: 36

Sentry vs. Pretty Boy Monty

Ed: This is Pretty Boy Monty’s first match since his injury at the hands of the Shocker. we’ll see how it goes. Sentry has been on a roll since his debut as well. this should be a great match.

Biff: We have lock up. Monty moves in quickly with a European uppercut. follow up body slam by the Pretty Boy. Monty with a whip. reversal by Sentry and Sentry nails Monty with a savate kick. Sentry with a football tackle. Sentry off the ropes, Monty misses with an elbow, but nails him with a clothesline.

Ed: Sentry falls through the ropes…

Biff: …and to the floor. Monty whips Sentry into the guardrail. Monty rolls back in to the ring. Sentry follows him in. Monty misses an uppercut and Sentry turns it to a backslide. one. two. kickout by Monty. Sentry sets up and nails Monty with a piledriver. one. kickout by Monty.

Ed: Sentry misses a football tackle.

Biff: Monty whips Sentry and powerslam. Monty with a double underhook piledriver. cover. one. two. foot in the ropes. Monty with another whip. he sets up for a backdrop, but Sentry counters with a northern lights suplex. one. two. kickout by Monty.

Ed: Monty is up and quickly…

Biff: …nails Sentry with a elbow. and powerslam by Monty. Monty goes to the top. and Top Rope Splash. one. two. three! Monty wins!

Winner of the match, Pretty Boy Monty. Time of Match 16: 05

Ed: That’s all the time…

Biff: …we have for this week.

Ed: WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT!!! I want to get a word in if you please!!!

Biff: Geez. you don’t have to be so grouchy. for Ed Bagel, and the OWA broadcast team, I’m “The Voice” Biff Franklin. will see you next week on OWA Championship Wrestling.

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