Executioner takes on Consuelo Salyards for a shot at the championship; Donnie Loudmouth, Fantasia, Adam Sanchez and Davey Scott are all in action
Standing in his attire, without crutches but still limps. Looks on, and he doesn’t look happy. ]
Davey: Consuelo, you think you are at the top of the world don’t you? You think you can shove me off like a bad penny? Remember one thing, like a bad penny, I shall always return. You know, people wonder why I become a little sexist, this is the exact reason. I tried to be nice, and I get screwed by female wrestlers. You don’t fight cage matches? I can see why, cause you are nothing but a coward. I accept all matches propose to me, hell I fought the respect match. You want to know why, because between you and I, I am the only one who has the GUTS!
When it comes down to the cage match I propose to you, I guess you’re not even tough enough to even take it. Cause you are a coward. Next week, I am going back to the ring, but you Consuelo, I can see how you built up some fat. You haven’t wrestled in a while, and you gain some fat. You are the paper champion. You are NOTHING compared. Well, guess what folks, cause your “champion” decided not to accept my gracious challenge, I guess it time for me to raise REAL hell. Some REAL horror. Now, it seems obvious that you people like these paper champions, that you don’t know what a true champion is. I guess it will be your privilege to see you’re truly in the Wheel of Torture tournament. Commissioner, I declare myself a candidate for the tournament, cause I will make my reentrance back into the wrestling world, with a vengeance. Don’t think I didn’t warn you all, I will bring the Horror and Terror into the UCP. Consuelo, you want me to win a couple matches? Now may I remind you, before the UCP was formed, you gave me your word, a title match. I guess your word means NOTHING. Talk? HAH! The talking is done, now it time for the world to bow to return of the King! That all the warning you will get! [Walks off the set]
Fades back into the OWA Studios, Elaine Bryant and Shelly Marks sits behind the desk.]
Shelly: Welcome to the Gospel Truth. I’m Shelly Marks, and joining me is Elaine Bryant.
Elaine: Tough words from Davey Scott, still in his battle to gain respect from UCP wrestlers. He wants a shot at Consuelo Salyards and the Internet Title. however, Salyards has other things in mind as she, later on in this broadcast will take on the Executioner, in which if Executioner wins, he’ll get an Internet Title shot at Halloween Horror.
Shelly: Let’s hear from Executioner.
Executioner is seen pimping himself in front of a large full view mirror, slicking back his hair and checking his teeth, he sees the camera men and turns around]
Executioner: Ahhhhh the UCP Camera men, seems as usual your timing SUCKS., But That’s ok I’ll give you what you want, Seems that Consuelo is not only a great wrestler but she also has great taste, though with the competition I was up against there was only one choice to make, and that was yours truly Me….the one and only #1 Bachelor. But all kidding aside Consuelo, I like your style and I like your attitude but once we step in the ring this weekend it will be all out war, there are no friends in the squared circle and only one person can step out of that ring as the winner, and I intend to take full advantage of this opportunity to get a title shot at THOTR. Am I taking you lightly? Not a chance Consuelo we have met before and I know your abilities, but I personally think that with all the extra weight you had to put on to stay with the UCP that you are ripe for an upset, even if it is all added muscle your timing is going to be off and That’s when I will take advantage.
Consuelo this will be a classic matchup with the two best aerial wrestlers the UCP has to offer and I guarantee the Crowd will get more then what they paid for just with our match, Good luck Consuelo and may the best wrestler win.
Shelly: Executioner ready for Consuelo Salyards.
Elaine: Let’s go down to ringside with Biff and Ed and see the in-ring debut of. Fantasia.
Tara Pritchard vs. Fantasia
Ed: Thanks guys. We’re ready for our first match.
Biff: Who do we got in this one?
Ed: It’s a battle of two newcomers-
Biff: We’ll ain’t this a new promotion?
Biff: We’ll then of course they’re both new Eddie, there’s no use in sayin’ what everybody already knows!
Ed: At any rate, let’s head on up to our ring announcer.
Ring Announcer: Introducing first, already in the ring from Knoxville, Tennessee at 164 pounds Doctor Tara Prichard!
The crowd boos.]
Biff: That name sounds familiar.
“Perfect Strangers” by Deep Purple starts to blast.]
Ring Announcer: Her opponent. From Vancouver, British Columbia weighing in at 176 pounds, here comes Fantasia!!
Fantasia comes down to the ring.]
Biff: Now ain’t she a looker?
Ed: I was complimenting her! Meaning doesn’t she look good.
Ed: At any rate, there’s the bell. Doctor Tara Prichard jumps Fantasia with a double axhandle. She whips Fantasia into the ropes, Fantasia reverses is, but Doctor Tara Prichard re-reverses it, no wait! Fantasia re-re-reverses it.
Biff: This is gettin’ crazy, Ed. Fantasia finally decks her with a lariat. Fantasia follows it up with an elbowdrop. Doctor Tara Prichard gets to her feet but Fantasia drops her with a picture perfect dropkick. Hey, do you think Doctor Tara Prichard is a gynecologist?
Ed: BIFF! This is a family show! There might be kids watching!!
Biff: Oh come on, what kid is gonna know what a gynecologist is?
Ed: You got a point there. Doctor Tara Prichard nails Fantasia with an armdrag. Fantasia kip-up and kicks Prichard in the stomach. A powerbomb! Referee Roger DeFurio counts one, two, kickout.
Biff: That ref looks familiar too. Prichard with a rake of the eyes. And with those Lee Press on Nails that’s gotta hurt. Fantasia I believe, yes! She’s been busted open by those fake nails!
Ed: Referee Roger DeFurio checking the cut and I believe he’s asking her out.
Biff: I hope he doesn’t take her to Russ- oh nevermind that’s too old.
Ed: Fantasia wanting the match to continue, and so it does. Doctor Tara Prichard nails her with a Dragon Screw. She’s going to go for the figure four leglock, but no! Fantasia rolls her up. Referee Roger DeFurio counts one, two, thr-kickout. She almost had her.
Biff: Fantasia now bleeding more from above the right eye. She sets Prichard up for a suplex, no a face first suplex! Now she stomps Doctor Tara Prichard’s hand. One of the nails came off!!!
Ed: Fantasia quickly grabs one of Prichard’s Lee Press on Nails and jabs it into Prichard’s forehead! They’re both busted open. This is sick, Biff.
Biff: Referee Roger DeFurio takes the Lee Press on Nail from Fantasia. She gives the signal for the Fan-Plex. She nails Prichard with it! Referee Roger DeFurio counts one, two three!
Ed: Fantasia wins with the Northern Lights Suplex, which she calls the Fan-Plex in a time of 5: 15. Great win for Fantasia and I’m sure we will see more of her in the coming weeks. Let’s go back to the OWA Studios.
Elaine: Incredible debut for Fantasia.
Shelly: Most definitely. We’ve got a quick word from Monica Brant. Let’s hear from her now.
(Monica Brant stands in front of a flash screen, decorated with her logo. She’s dressed in a tight, revealing two piece wrestling outfit that reveals a fair amount of lusciously tanned skin.)
Monica: Hello out there, kiddies. Monica Brant here. I just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking about all of you as I get ready to show the world, especially the Femme Fatales, what it means to REALLY be evil. Keep watching, all you wanna-bes. It’s all going to start with a bang!
Myers: This is your Halloween Horror: The Wheel of Torture’s Revenge Update. This card is coming to you on October 31st, Halloween night.
The Main Event of the evening places the UCP Cruiserweight Championship on the line, as the champion Traci Lane defends against former champion Freddy Fever.
The UCP TV Championship is also going to be on the line as Taleis defends against Virgo.
Also signed last week: Fantasia will go one on one with Loudmouth Donnie
Godiva Rage takes on Stacks Coltrain.
Just signed this week: Asian Invasion takes on Ricky Hype.
And Shiva will tangle with Mariko.
Now also on the card, the Wheel of Torture Tournament. 7 matches, each with a special random gimmick, do be determined by the spin of a wheel. 4 wrestlers have already been entered into the tournament: Anthony Hazard, Mr. America, Asian Invasion, and Shogun. Plus. 2 more wrestlers announced this week: Davey Scott and Pretty Boy Monty. That’s your update for this week. Let’s see Davey Scott in action
Jack Collins vs. Davey Scott
Ed: Next up, Davey Scott will be back in the ring. A change in name for this federation, certainly brought change in attitude among the wrestlers, and one of those changes happen in the once ladies favorites, Davey Scott.
Biff: I have to agree with him though, however, he told me that Consuelo Salyards is scared of him.
Ed: I seriously doubt that is it, however, they do go the distance. However, let see how much distance Jack Collins gets here with him.
Biff: Jack Collins? Geez. Another lamer. When can we get more quality wrestlers?
Ed: However, on with the match.
Walking down to the ring, somewhat tall person. Looks about 6’7”, in regular trunks and gear. As he climbs in the ring, he looks around, looks crazy.]
Ed: “Crazy” Jack Collins, he got the height and power, but will it supply enough to take down Davey Scott, a trained and veteran professional. Davey seems to be here to raise hell.
Suddenly, a man, 6. 1, 250lbs comes walking down the aisle. No special gear, just the jeans and boots. In fact, he is not in wrestling gear at all. He is wearing a T-shirt]
Ed: This is odd, perhaps the injured Davey Scott has been told not to wrestle tonight. Or perhaps, this is part of a deception.
Biff: Nah, he not that great at it.
Davey climbs into the ring, and grabs the microphone, looking at Jack Collins]
Davey: Sir, the doctor has just told me that I am not to wrestle tonight, so I just came out to tell you, however I am sure another wrestler is out to replace me. [extends his hand]
Ed: If Jack shakes his hand, that is like sleeping with a Viper, and that exactly what Davey turned into, a Viper.
Jack shakes his hand, Davey smiles, then suddenly, kicks the midsection with his right leg, a kick so hard that Jack goes down. ]
Davey: BUT I NEVER SAID I LISTEN TO DOCTORS YOU FOOL!
Ed: Man, what deception!
Biff: THIS IS GREAT!
Ed: You seem happy.
Biff: Hey, when you got an injured knee and you’re going against someone taller then you, you got to use deception.
Ed: Davey superkicks him to the corner and what this, Davey goes to the other corner, runs towards Jack.
Biff: Jack tries to move out of the way, but Davey has no intention of running into him. He jumps up and. A FRANKSTEINER!
Ed: Ooooh. Did you hear the sound of that? A pin. It is a cover. 1……2……3. it is over.
Biff: Yes, Davey is back with the most devastating force. You would be amazed what you can do when you lose 50 lbs. That is one tally mark for Davey Scott. I can see why Consuelo is afraid of Davey. Look at him, that was not the same man we saw left.
Ed: I am sure Consuelo was watching this, even though no official match been signed up, due to her refusal to his proposal. His insults to her, and pretty much the Femme, probably cause some kind of provoked action, so you can expect they are watching him, to see if he is going walk the walk as he can talk the talk. From what we see here. I don’t know.
Biff: Hah! You don’t know anything. Back the studio…:
Elaine: Davey Scott taking advantage and getting the win. I think I might like his new style.
Shelly: Oh please. Davey Scott’s just taking the shortcut. No nobility in that, Elaine.
Elaine: You have to do what you have to do to make it in this business.
Shelly: Speaking of that. Let’s hear from someone who always does whatever it takes. Mr. America.
The scene opens to a room. Mr. America has his feet propped up on the table in front of him. A phone sits next to him on the sofa.]
Mr. America: So, where to begin Bob? Who cares, I have a few people to address. First off, Virgo. The man with the identity crisis. So, let’s rebuttal your arguments and then add in my own. The Equalizer serves the purpose of dominating the SWF. Sorry, but you have yet to accomplish that. I’m actually flattered though that you’ve started to call yourself the heat machine over there.
Mr. America smirks.]
Mr. America: No, I’m not returning and I’ll get to why in a moment. While I was there you never tried to lay claim to that title and for a very good reason. You knew you’d fail in trying to get it because you can’t best me no matter how hard you try. As for Micky’s ideas. Funny that you beat up the pathetic manager already once and got rid of him. What’s he doing back? Oh wait, that was Equalizer and not Virgo. My, what’s with the dual identities? Holy Big Al. s, Diamond Brett Robbins! It’s simple really. You can’t dominate there and you sure as hell can’t get rid of me. It’s tearing you apart so much that you don’t know who or what you are anymore, but then again, that seems to be the latest fad with some people and like always. You jump on a bandwagon like a true follower should. Trinity? Too easy to beat verbally. As for the SWF, I was waiting for you to pull that lame squawk about you running me out. Truth is, Virgo. The SWF became lame. I was allied with the only people that mattered. You for example. One of lamest. You were the poet of the SWF and you didn’t quite know it. The Master of Disaster. How many other nicknames are you going to come up with? There were no verbal challenges in the SWF. I was the God of that absolute monarchy and you were merely a pawn of the puppet king. I could spout off the names, but I don’t have time to run through the rest of the SWF minus my friends there. Those three know who they are.
Mr. America takes a handful of peanuts from a bowl on the table.]
Mr. America: To put it in an analogy you’d understand, Virgo.
Mr. America holds up a peanut.]
Mr. America: The visage you see every time you look in the mirror, Virgo. You’re nothing but something to satisfy my hunger for wins and we both know it. You cling to a past win by throwing me off the roof. Wow, I’m impressed. You can do a lot more? I highly doubt that Virgo. You haven’t done anything but move up a whole lot of points on the lame-o-meter chart. You’ve gone down and I’ve gone up. Anyone in their right mind could see that, but then again. You are Virgo and you are the Equalizer. You don’t know which mind is right and I’m just going to laugh when you figure out it’s neither.
Mr. America throws the peanuts back into the bowl.]
Mr. America: Let’s see. Asian Invasion said something to me. Mrs. America? Asian, you’ve lost quite a few steps from what I’ve seen. The last time you wrestled and were a house hold commodity was when I carried the Evil Empire all those months ago. You grabbed a ride on my coat tails. What have you done since then? Nothing and that’s what we’ll continue to get out of you. Fantasia, you just come across as a product from Russ’ backyard. Don’t step where you can’t walk. That’s the easiest way to avoid getting hurt.
Mr. America puts his feet on the ground.]
Mr. America: Anthony Hazard, my how the legend is so easily proven to be something he’s not. What’s the matter? The tights and ropes not easy to kick out of? Nice try with Ricky, but Mr. Hype proved just that. He’s nothing but Hype and I’ve said that since the get go. You two thought you’d get the upper hand, but Taleis and I have played the rule-breaking game much longer than either of you two. Tonight was just experience over hype. Well, then again. I wouldn’t even call your performance hype because it doesn’t match up to the definition. Ah well, just another name to add to people who want my head on a pike.
The phone rings and Mr. America picks it up.]
Mr. America: Yo, what’s up? Who? HEY! Long time no see, what’s been going on? Yeah, I saw it. Cool, yeah sure. No problem. Yeah. You want me to. WHAT!?
Mr. America gets a dumbfounded look on his face.]
Mr. America: You’re serious? Yeah, okay. Yeah. Got you. Sure. How about tomorrow? Okay, I’ll see ya then.
Mr. America hangs up the phone. He picks it back up, still with a look of disbelief on his face. He dials a number.]
Mr. America: Yeah, can I speak to a Miss Tiffany Chandler please? Yeah, thanks.
The camera fades out.]
Shelly: Interesting turn of events from Mr. America as he addresses a few of his critics.
Elaine: Let’s hear from a newcomer to the UCP. This is Loudmouth Donnie.
Scene opens in on the great patio behind the Trump Family Estate overlooking a maze of shrubbery below. A single statue of a man wearing robes and carrying a large tome dominates the center of the maze and is tall enough to be seen at eye-level on the patio above. Up on the patio, closer to the mansion, Loudmouth Donnie sits at a table wearing a white golf shirt and slacks. He has a glass of champagne in his hand, and is talking and laughing with others seated at said table. Various other business-looking types are walking around, some seated at tables talking over various events.]
Donnie: Ahh yes, so Anthony Hazard has attempted to exchange his white wings and cupid’s diaper for a pitchfork and devil’s tail. I know enough about him to know he desired fan support for most of his career. Enough to make one wonder if he had been abused or ignored as a child, but ahh well. Mr. Hazard. Welcome to the club!
Loudmouth Donnie raises his glass in the air, then takes a big swig.]
Donnie: So Maxx and Blades have hit the road along with others. When people hear the Greatness is coming, they usually run for the hills. It’s such a typical response. One would think the “elite” would find a better use for shoe leather, but ahh well.
Loudmouth Donnie takes another big swig. He gazes at his empty glass and begins pounding on the table.]
Donnie: SMITHERS! Get that wrinkled old goat form out here and fill my glass.
Smithers heads out of the mansion with a bottle in his hands. When he reaches the table, Donnie snatches the bottle from him.]
Donnie: 1881. Hmm. Not the best of years for Fahrmans Royal, but ahh well.
Donnie blows dust off the bottle, creating a small cloud. He pops the cork on the bottle and takes a big swig directly from the bottle, instead of filling his glass. Smithers looks at this with wide-eyes.]
Smithers: Indeed sir. Donnie: Now where was I? Ah yes. Now, I see Traci Lane is still the champion in all her regal glory. Looking over this year, one would swear there’s not a drop of competition to be had. I hear that the Culture Kid.
Smithers: Disco Kid.
Donnie: Whatever, is getting a shot at the title. I suppose that’s better than having Neil Diamond as a champion, but the last time I saw such strange gestures, they were speaking in tongues.
Smithers rolls his eyes. Donnie laughs.]
Donnie: But ahh well.
Smithers: You sound like you’re making a challenge of some sort.
Donnie: What? Bah, those two don’t interest me in the least. Fever especially. I remember he took one trip to England and suddenly thought he was some sort of prince, can you imagine Smithers? How ludicrous. Why he was the laughing stock of London.
Donnie takes another long pull off the bottle.]
Donnie: UCP, all of you, listen close. An infusion of fresh blood I am into this dried up husk of a league. A brand new face who dares to insert himself into the mishmash of competition that many of you have been going over for ages on end. An amateur I am not. Crossed this rock of a world many times I have. Seen the many cultures of this world so many times that it is all an old dance to me. I have been called many things, not all of them pleasant of course. I want into this Pay-per-view event, and what I want I usually get.
Loudmouth Donnie raises the bottle in the air as the scene fades.]
Scene fades and fades back again into a new location]
Iron Roy Wolfe vs. Loudmouth Donnie
(The scene opens inside what looks to be a huge gym room. The lack of any windows suggests the gym is deep inside a large building of some sort. A wrestling ring is in the middle of the room, a small table with stereo equipment sits to one side. To the other side, which the camera pans over to, is a larger table which has two people seated at it. One is a woman who wears business clothes, the other is recognized as Smithers, Loudmouth Donnie’s butler. The woman speaks.)
Smith: Welcome to Trump estate everyone, I’m Lora Smith, to my right, we’ll I’m sure everyone knows him by now. Smithers.
Smith: Aw, C’mon Smithers, be a sport.
Smithers: This is utterly ridiculous Ms. Smith. I can’t believe a lady such as yourself and a gentleman such as myself are sitting here, actually partaking in such foolery. May I ask you something Ms. Smith? How much did the master pay you to fly over here from the corporation just to do this?
Smith: Um, well. I don’t know what you’re talking about Smithers and let me ask you something. You haven’t even seen professional wrestling, have you? This could be quite exciting.
Smithers: No, I have never seen a single spot of this “wrestling”, and I could care less about this silly melodrama they try to pass off as a professional sport. (Smithers crosses his arms, his nose slightly in the air.)
Smith: Well, whatever Smithers. You just go ahead and keep an eye on that ceiling, all right? Anyways, this is a match between Loudmouth Donnie, the world renowned athlete. (Smithers rolls his eyes.)
Smith: And a wrestler by the name of Iron Roy Wolfe.
Smithers, muttering to himself: Probably some homeless lout he dragged down here in return for a cup of tea and a crust of bread.
Smith: What was that Smithers?
Smithers: Oh nothing, Ms. Smith, nothing.
(A door opens in the back. A man wearing business clothes, standing by the stereo, pushes a button on the stereo, and recorded crowd boos sound from the speakers.)
Smith: Here comes Iron Roy Wolfe, completely ignorant to the beating he will receive here tonight.
Smithers: This is such nonsense.
Smith: Smithers, please!
(Smithers, with an exasperated look on his face, shrugs and goes silent. Another door opens and Loudmouth Donnie enters, the man standing next to the stereo pushes a button and the boos change to cheers.)
Smith: And there’s the greatest athlete in the world, Loudmouth Donnie!
Smithers: Indeed, probably with the greatest pile of soiled linen on his bedroom floor as well.
Smithers: All right, all right. My goodness. No need to become upset.
Smith: Well, they lock up. Donnie with a hard chop to Wolfe. Wolfe with a look of panic on his face fires back with a roundhouse right! Donnie, um well, slips.
Smithers: Slip? Why, the master just squawked like a chicken and fell flat on his rump, that’s what he did.
Smith: No, no, no. he slipped. Wolfe picks Donnie up now. Bodyslam! Donnie is scuttling backwards. Hmm, Donnie seems to want a break.
Smithers: Why, he’s begging for mercy! My, perhaps I should give this wrestling a second chance.
Smith: Donnie is up like lightning. He quickly picks up Wolfe and.
Smithers: He just planted his knee in the man’s private parts!
Smith: No, no, no Smithers. That’s called an “inverted atomic drop”, it’s an impact move that focuses on the spinal column.
(Smithers raises a skeptical eyebrow.)
Smith: Um, anyways. Donnie takes Wolfe to the mat with a snap mare. He quickly goes behind and locks on an STF.
(Smithers becomes wide-eyed.)
Smithers: Now, you call *that* a wrestling move?
Smith: Well, yes.
Smithers, muttering: Looks to me like he’s trying to make love to the man.
Smithers: All right, all right! Goodness gracious.
Smith: Donnie lets go, Wolfe looks like he doesn’t know what to do. Donnie heads to the top turnbuckle. Now watch this Smithers.
Smithers: If I must.
(Loudmouth Donnie climbs to the top turnbuckle, poses for a short while…)
Smithers: Hmm, same pose he used for the tabloids last year.
Smith: Donnie flies off the turnbuckle with a splash! Whoops!
Smithers: We’ll of course Wolfe is going to roll out of the way, what do you expect the man to do? Ask him for a round of checkers?
Smith: Well, um, he’s supposed to um. Anyways, Donnie in great pain in the ring, Wolfe getting to his feet.
Smithers: GO WOLFE! Nail the blither!
Smithers: Oh, *ahem* excuse me, had to clear my throat.
Smith: Wolfe nailing Donnie with a series of lefts and rights! C’mon Donnie, do something!
Smithers: What’s the matter Ms. Smith? Afraid of your glorious bonus check going up in smoke? (Lora Smith fixes Smithers with a burning glare, who returns the glare with a Cheshire Cat style grin.)
Smith: Well, anyways. Yeah! Donnie.
Smithers: Why, the master just stuck his arm between the man’s legs and grabbed him in his private parts!
Smith: No, no, no Smithers! That’s called a “rolling reverse cradle” Donnie’s got him pinned!
Smithers: Well, it just looked like a position my wife and I used in bed last night.
Smith: Smithers? (Smithers flushes with embarrassment.)
Smithers: Um, anyways, the man wearing the strange zebra shirt just counted three in some strange caveman sign language. What happens now?
Smith: That’s it, Donnie has won!
Smithers: My, how disappointing. It’s over already? Oh well, I just hope he hasn’t soiled yet another undergarment.
(Loudmouth Donnie raises his arms in the air. The man standing next to the stereo pushes a button and recorded crowd cheers sound from the speakers. Donnie walks over to the edge of the ring and calls down to the commentator’s table.)
Donnie: Well, that went rather well.
(Lora Smith gives Donnie a “thumbs up”)
Donnie: Smithers, what did you think of that?
Smithers: Who me sir? Oh, I bored the entire time and didn’t say a word. I can’t believe you had me.
Donnie: Fine, fine Smithers. Anyways, it’s all good people. Let’s get the tape shipped to the UCP offices right away!
(Donnie heads out of the ring to talk to a few people. Lora Smith fixes Smithers with a glare. Smithers responds by giving Lora Smith an insufferable smirk before leaving to return to his duties.)
Smith: Well, guess that’s all from the Trump Estate. Good-bye everyone.
Elaine and Shelly look rather speechless for a moment, before Shelly regains her composure…]
Shelly: I do not believe that match was sanctioned by UCP.
Elaine: I’m sure it wasn’t.
Shelly: Let’s go back to ringside, and hear from The Enforcer, Adam Sanchez.
Adam Sanchez vs. Mysterious Jobber
Ring Announcer: The following match is set for one fall. First, from Phoenix, Arizona. “The Enforcer” Adam Sanchez!
The arena’s speakers blare with “Yellow and Black Attack” by Leaderdogs, and the Enforcer strides from the locker room clad in his new red and black harlequin singlet and the leather duster. After he enters the ring, he removes the coat and hangs it on the ring post opposite the entryway. The Enforcer then perches himself on the turnbuckle in the same corner.]
RA: And his opponent, with origin unknown, The Mysterious Jobber!
the Mysterious Jobber enters the ring wearing a black cover-all bodysuit with a blue J on the chest. His mask reveals only his eyes.]
Biff: I’ve been waiting for this match a while. This is the first ring appearance in the UCP of the real Enforcer.
Ed: Be careful, Biff, there are some here who would contradict your claim.
Ed: There’s the bell, and this match is underway, but the Enforcer is still sitting on the turn buckle opposite the Mysterious Jobber. The Enforcer’s opponent attempts to approach him, but is down as the Enforcer leaps off the turnbuckle with a flying clothesline.
Biff: the Enforcer always has something up his sleeve. He never does anything without a reason.
Ed: Enforcer picks up the Jobber and whips him into the ropes. Jobber ducks a knife-edge chop and comes off the ropes one the other side.
Biff: the Jobber tries for a hurricanrana, but the Enforcer counters with a power bomb.
Ed: Enforcer deals a series of stomps to the Mysterious Jobber as he rises and then twists his opponent’s arm.
Biff: Enforcer steps over the arm and heel flips Jobber.
Ed: Enforcer wastes some time taunting his opponent and allows him time to get up in the corner.
Biff: the Enforcer runs at the corner and tries for a drop kick, but the Mysterious Jobber pushes his legs away causing him to fall in front of Jobber.
Ed: Jobber applies a side head lock, and Enforcer pushes him off into the ropes.
Biff: Jobber halts himself by grabbing the ropes, and Enforcer comes at him with a roundhouse to the gut, but Jobber catches the leg.
Ed: Enforcer hops up and sweeps the Mysterious Jobber with his free leg.
Biff: Both men are on the mat now and the Enforcer spears Jobber’s gut with his heel.
Ed: the Enforcer stands up and drags Jobber to his feet.
Biff: Enforcer delivers a sharp kick to the stomach and then runs at the ropes to the side.
Ed: What? I’ve never seen this before.
Biff: the Enforcer runs at Jobber form the side, rolls over him, back to back, hooks his arm in the process, and throws him over into a faceslam!
Ed: That was impressive! It looked like a variation hiptoss into a faceslam.
Biff: I told you he always has something planned.
Ed: Enforcer goes from the pin and gets an easy 3 count.
RA: the winner of this match by way of a pin fall, The Enforcer Adam Sanchez.
Ed: some impressive new techniques displayed by Adam Sanchez today. Apparently he has been practicing during the break.
Biff: I’m gonna try and talk to him
The Enforcer leaps out of the ring and walks towards the locker rooms.]
Biff walk up to The Enforcer and beckons over everyone’s favorite cameraman]
Biff: Enforcer, what are you going to do about Consuelo Salyards. Response to your challenge?
grabs the mic from Biff]
Enforcer: Consuelo! What the hell do you think your doin? I’ll call you out whenever I [CENSORED] want! You can’t run away from me! Just remember who beat who. I beat your sorry [CENSORED] last time, so now your just scared. The only thing worse than a sorry champion is a scared champion! I’ll have my match, Salyards. If you won’t give it to me then I’ll go to the Commish. Your [CENSORED] and your title is mine.
Biff, visibly annoyed, takes back the mic]
Biff: We’ve established your views on Salyards, but what about the other wrestlers? You haven’t said a word to anyone, but Salyards since you resigned.
Enforcer: Ryan! We never even got started. Watch your back every minute of the day, cause you never know when I’ll be behind you.
Biff: So the Real Enforcer has rekindled some classic rivalries. Anything else to say Enforcer?
Enforcer: Yeah. What’s with all the red and black here in the UCP? I’m the original red and black. There are only two people that should be able to wear the colors of Damage Control. One is me and the other is Devastator, but since he retired a few years back I’m the only one worthy of the red and black. Anyone who’s been here since the beginning knows that that Damage Control was the greatest tag team of the OWA. I’m not pickin’ fights on this just yet, but I am protecting a legacy of excellence that the losers wearing our colors can’t live up to.
The Enforcer turns and heads towards the locker room, as Biff reclaims his seat at the announcer’s booth]
Ed: Back to the studios.
Elaine: Adam Sanchez looking for Consuelo Salyards. As we’ll as Rachel Ryan.
Shelly: Another newcomer ready for UCP and Halloween Horror is Shiva, who’ll be facing Mariko at that event. Let’s hear from Shiva.
Scene opens at “Darkmoon”, a smoky nightclub. A UCP camera crew is wandering around, weaving amongst everyone looking for someone. They approach a woman with white and blue tinted hair, leather jacket and black jeans sitting in a chair in the corner of the joint, doing her nails. She looks over the rim of her sunglasses at the crew as they walk towards her.]
Woman, with considerable disdain for being interrupted. A very heavy British accent: Can I help you?
Reporter: Are you named Shiva by chance?
Woman: That’s the rumor. What do you want?
Reporter: We’ve come to get a few words about your entrance into the UCP.
Shiva: Well, sure, whatever. Basically, this place is going under fast and well, my services are not gonna be required soon enough. So someone said.
Shiva is interrupted by a shrieking on a radio.]
Voice on radio: Shiva, we need you up front. Code green, group of 3. Harassing the patrons.
Shiva, picking up the radio: Yea, on it.
(She gets up and walks through the crowd nonchalantly, and the crew follows them to the front, where three large men have circled one patron, laughing. They see Shiva approaching and nudge one another, chuckling. Shiva walks right up to the largest one and backhands him across the jaw, knocking him back a little. He turns again with a bloody lip and reaches for her. She pushes him back into a corner and starts beating on him with her fist until he’s slumped into the corner all bloodied up. She then turns to the other two, who stand their shocked. One rushes up and flails out, and she ducks coolly and plants her forearm square in the guy’s lower back, sending him down screaming. She gives him a swift kick while he’s on the ground for good measure. The last one backs up a bit towards the exit, and she rushes up and drives her fish into his solar plexus, hunching him forward. She locks her arms around his shoulders and drops him on the base of his neck in from of the entrance, knocking him cold.)
Shiva, radioing back: Situation cleared. Get a cleanup crew over here.
(She walks back to her chair in the back, giving the second guy a kick in the ribs on the way back. She sits back down and turns to the reporter again.
Shiva: Basically, I won’t be able to do that anymore to stupid chaps like this. And one day this guy gets the crap kicked outta him up front, I’m called in to save his scrawny hide and he tells me about this UCP thing where I can make more than enough money doing this. So hell I couldn’t resist, signed my life away to them I don’t know what’s on those contracts and now I’m just waiting for this joint to close in the next few weeks than I start there. Anything else?
Reporter, a little shocked at what he’s seen: Umm. Yeah. What about those guys up front?
Shiva: Shouldn’t have been standing there. They’ll get dumped in some alley so it looks like they got beat up for their money or something; I dunno I leave that to them. (Gets a comb out and works on her hair.) And unless there’s anything else, I have to get back to work. (With that reclines in her chair, pulls her sunglasses back up and goes back to her nails.)
Reporter: Well uhh.
Shiva: Interview over. Okay no more camera else I’ll call my sister on you. She’d like that. Hey Cooklie-baby! Code Thr..
With that comment the camera shuts off and scene closes.]
Shelly: Shiva making an impressive statement. She should be an incredible force here in UCP.
Elaine: We’re ready to go down to ringside for our feature matchup, for us here at the studios, we’ll see you next week.
Ed: Thanks ladies.
Biff: What ladies??
Ed: Don’t start with that.
Biff: Have you seen them before they get their makeup on? Woof!
Ed: You need to stop. Let’s go down to ringside.
Non-Title: Consuelo Salyards vs. Executioner
Ring Announcer: This match is one fall, and is a non-title matchup. However, there is a stipulation that if Executioner wins the match, he’ll get an Internet Title Shot at Halloween Horror. Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 230 pounds. Here is Executioner! And his opponent, weighing in at 150 pounds. She is the current North American Champion. This is “The Latin Lover” Consuelo Salyards!!
Ed: Ring introductions out of the way and there’s the bell. We have a lock up. Salyards with a dropkick and a hotshot. Quick pin attempt, but she doesn’t even get a one count. Both competitors to their feet.
Biff: Salyards handling that weight gain nicely. Doesn’t seem to have affected her mobility much. She goes off the ropes and nails Executioner with a flying shoulderblock. She tries for a figure four, but Executioner rolls her up. one. Kickout by Salyards.
Ed: Executioner with a kick to the midsection and a jack-knife powerbomb. one. two. Kickout by Salyards. Executioner trying for the cross face chicken wing but Salyards in the ropes before he can actually apply it. She’s been studying up on Executioner.
Biff: Executioner with a whip and he nails her coming off with a kick. Another whip by Executioner. Salyards ducking a clothesline and coming off with a flying spinning leg lariat.
Ed: Enzuigiri by Salyards and a cover. one. two. Kickout by Executioner. Salyards off the ropes and nails Executioner with a flying forearm. Another cover. one. two. Kick out by Executioner.
Biff: Salyards with a whip and she goes for a Frankensteiner but NO! Executioner with a power bomb. Executioner with a whip. Salyards tries for a flying somersault bodyblock but Executioner ducks and Salyards nails the referee!!
Ed: Executioner clamps on the Cross Face Chicken Wing!! He’s got this match but there’s no referee. Hold on! Monica Brant sliding into the ring and nailing Executioner with that loaded purse.
Biff: Here we go!! Someone’s gonna get a fashion statement. She have a beef with Executioner? NO! She puts on the cobra sleeper on Consuelo Salyards!!!
Ed: Salyards going out. Now what?
Biff: Ohohoho! Monica thinks Consuelo needs a makeover. Applying some lipstick and some rouge. Consuelo might want to stay away from some of the seedier parts of the City with that makeover.
Ed: Disgusting. Monica pulling Executioner over on top of Consuelo and trying to revive the ref. she slides out of the ring and heads back to the locker room.
Biff: Referee seeing the pin. one. two. three!! It’s over. Executioner gets the title shot at Halloween Horror but Monica Brant totally interjecting herself into match.
Ed: We’re completely out of time. For everyone at the studio and for Biff Franklin, we’ll see you next week for more UCP action!