Shiva battles Stacks Coltrain in the main event; Virgo, Monica Brant and Rachel Ryan are also in action; This week’s episode is hosted by Davey Scott

Starts as black screen]

V.O: First there was darkness.

Starts to lighten up]

V.O: Then there was light.

Then a violent explosion and then a black screen with Gospel Truth printed with flashes coming out. The picture is soon faded to Davey who is sitting on a couch in a studio and he is alone. Davey is wearing the traditional black jeans and white shirt.]

Davey: Alright, cut the music, and let get down to business. First question on your mind is probably, where is Shelly and Elaine. frankly, I told them to have the day off. don’t need two bimbos doing my job. Next order of business is my opening thoughts. Virgo, answer me one question, what the hell is a Face Plant? Come on, I been growing a garden for years, and never in my life heard of a Face Plant. no wonder you have such an obsession for the TV Title. your brain is too small to comprehend that it is only third best title in this stinking federation. And the Equalizer? Grow up you overgrown kid. You said you would take your belt back, yea but realize one thing, it isn’t your belt. It never was. unless you wish to shell out thousands of dollars for it and that AMERICAN dollars, not some moldy Canadian Dollars. As far as dominating a fed? Pbbbt. I dominated the PWC with my eyes closed and from the wires I keep getting, the fed your referring to. [lets out a large cackle…]

If I wasn’t bound by contract here, I would come over, and take the reigns from your stinking hands. Throwing Mr. America off the roof? Are you a broken record or something? You got to do better then that boy. perhaps, beat me, or perhaps, beat Mr. America again but get over it. Throwing Mr. America over the roof was like five minutes ago. Canadian Education and Health Care? Yea, part of your country teachers went on strike, and people are bitching about the hospitals. What does America has to offer? Well. if Mr. America seminars are all we offered, then I think the White House should file bankruptcy. The Crew probably haven’t said a word to you peabrain because they are on the verge of stable’s collapse. they have no time for crap like you. Geez, where do we get wrestler like Virgo. I think I should go on the next Scouting party. Virgo, the only way you can prove you are the MAN is to put the title on the line for a match between you, and I. got it?

Furthermore, yes, I went in with an injury, so what? It isn’t the first dumb thing I done. Sanchez, if you are going to talk about pretending to be a pro-wrestler, I would take a look in the mirror pal, cause the only person pretending, would be you. We all know Monica needs counseling. tells us something we don’t know. When you look in the mirror, you also find your true being. a Thief, that all you are is a thief Sanchez. stealing a woman purse? Distraction? HAH! Never say never again, cause it will happen again turn on the jukebox daddy-o, let gets some fresh vibes into the broadcast. give me a break Sanchez, you are SO obsessed with the “Enforcer” bit, that your career is going only one way. DOWN!

Executioner, I am so touch that someone would be so heartbound to their man they are willing to stick up to them. (imitates vomiting) What is this, the Gospel Truth or the Love Show? Consuelo? Great Competitor? greatest IC Champ? In the same sentence? [pauses for a moment, then bursts out laughing: You kidding me man, right? You just kidding me. You could work hard and study Sun Tzo for all I care, that doesn’t always make you the best wrestler. I am not going to give away the secret either. Are you calling out a challenge? You know, you don’t know what your asking for man, either you are crazy or just plain stupid. when I piece together my itinerary, I will call you out BOY! Gus? Great wrestler? HAH! The only chance that man had over me was the element of surprise, and that doesn’t happen too often. Get over it Exe. Exe. give me a break, take it like a man, or leave. if you can’t stand people trashing you, you know where the door is.

Mr America, you not doing what I am thinking you are doing? You are not turning that two bit [censor: into a wrestler are you? Man, I thought you were dumb before, now I think you are completely retarded! Learning Curve? Is that what you call it? I think the appropriate word is. Dead Man Drop. Give me a break, that [censor: has as much potential to become a pro-wrestler as monkey boy Virgo has at dominating this fed. Intelligence? Is that what you call that person who has a mouth who gets her in trouble. If she was intelligent. she wouldn’t shoot her mouth so often, which would get her in less trouble! What this woman really needs is a Class A Ass whipping and you know where you could find a qualified instructor! Listen, you little tramp, Beer is about as poisonous as candy. It is only the amounts of beer you drink which is poisonous. damn girl, I thought you were intelligent. Hey, Jen! There is nothing wrong with being a little sexist. sometimes, it is that saves you ! Anyway folks, that all for opening thoughts, I will now bring you. great. terrific. wonderful. none other then a wasteful “Way it is”.

Asian Invasion

(The scene opens to show Asian Invasion lounging poolside in a plush mountain resort. The camera goes through several screens of him playing golf, working out, and dancing with the Spice Girls on top of his “The Way It Is” bus. It then cuts to Asian, inside the bus.)

Asian Invasion: We’ll hello out there UCP, and welcome to The Way It Is. This week, we will address the problem that is Davey Scott. Davey, you can walk around this federation as long as you like, but you know what, you can’t walk forever. You say I never thought too BIG, we’ll you know what Davey, That’s incredible coming from a man that never thinks at ALL. I was totally unprepared for that ladder match, TOTALLY, I didn’t even think it was on the wheel. Yeah, to your credit, you fought hard, but That’s not the point. How’s that leg Davey??? If that ever heals up, it’s gonna be you and me again’ No faulty ladder either, I’ll teach you what it’s like to fight a real match. I’m gonna teach you two things Davey!!! Number one, don’t pick a fight that you can’t win, and number two, That’s The Way
It Is.

Davey can’t help but stop laughing. as he gain some control, he gets back to couch and sits up straight to restrain from laughing too hard.]

Davey: Asian, spoken like a true idiot! I can walk around the fed, I been walking around the wrestling world for 8 years, so don’t even try to top it. Walking forever? Nah, might eventually retire one of these days, but did you get that line from “Interview for Dummies”? Oh by the way, the leg is fine. how is your face? The last time I saw it. you were in need of major reconstructive surgery! Anyways. Whoa whoa, man. from someone who never thinks? This is coming from the man who is OBSESSED with the TV Title. come on folks, tell me this guy thinks. Please someone tells me this guy thinks. ahh man, no one says you think, Asian. Oh, by the way, do you want to know how I got through Billy Smith and you. I expected the unexpected. That what puts the fine line from pro, which I am, with wannabes, which you are completely. You know, that is two times I totally walloped your ass, and the first time, I didn’t even NEED a ladder! When you going to learn. You are not me! You are defiantly not as GOOD as me, and you will never be as good as me! Face it bucko! Third time would only be a charm for me, you are a waste of my ring time! Don’t pick a fight you can’t win? Again, did you get that out of “Interview for Dummies” Chapter 2, something that will scare a punk kid? Really and the last line about “The Way it is”? I don’t know about you, but I am number 2 on the list and you are way lower? If that is the way it is, then you need a priority check, or you will never get above the TV title obsession syndrome. Oh by the way, those spice girls, are they real or are they just moving robots? With your pay, I would be sure you could afford the robots. Where do we hire these people. next up, Fantasia.


Fade in’ We see Fantasia sitting in her living room watching the UCP channel with the remote in one hand and a bag of Oreos in the other.]

Fantasia: Oh goodie, Davey Scott. They should run a contest to see how many times he gets bleeped in a minute.

As Davey Scott talks, Fantasia tries to count the bleeps, but finally gives up in frustration.]

Fantasia: Oh That’s insane. Someone with no life should count it.

Davey finishes and Mr. America comes on the screen.]

Fantasia: And speaking of someone with no life.

Mr. America starts talking, causing Fantasia to hit the mute button.]

Fantasia: ol’ blabbermouth himself. Gee I need some milk to go along with these Oreos.

She gets up and goes to the kitchen as Mr. America’s talking head goes on and on and on silently. After a few minutes Fantasia returns.]

Fantasia: Geez, he’s still going?!?! Maybe I’ll check the mail.

Fantasia goes out and get’s her mail.]

Fantasia: Bills, my Observer, what’s this? A letter from Bi’ll Dundee?!?! Oh please.

She junks the letter from Bi’ll Dundee and opens her Observer, which she starts to read while Mr. America keeps on babbling.]

Fantasia: Oh good, Dave liked the PPV.

She looks over to the camera people.]

Fantasia: I *was* going to wait until blabber-butt finished, but I don’t think we can wait any longer. Loudmouth Donnie, we battled to a draw. A DRAW?!? That’s as bad as kissing your cousin, which I understand is common practice in Mr. America’s family. If you want to do it again Donnie, anytime-anyplace I’ll be there and this time I’ll pin you 1-2-3. Now as for the blowhard (she says while nodding her head to the TV). Here’s a little tip from me to you- people’s attention span isn’t as long as it used to be. When ya go on endlessly like you usually do, we tune you out and nobody pays attention to you. It takes you five minutes to say something that anyone else can say in 30 seconds. I’ve heard you wonder aloud why Diamond Brett Robbins isn’t here. That he’s over in someplace called the UEA and this & that. Why isn’t he here? I don’t know, nor do I really care. And if I were you, I wouldn’t care either. You’ve got enough to worry about right here in the UCP. A lot of people would love to shut that big mouth of yours, and I sure as heck am one of them.

Davey: What in the [censor: are you talking about, woman? Now there is a good example of slandering. How could you compare me with the “Pride of Trash River”? Just cause I say something’s offensive to some, doesn’t making me the biggest cursing fool on the block. Get your facts straight you [censor]. Who gives a [censor: about Brett Robbins? That good sleaze bag got what he deserves, a boot out of the fed! You know, if anyone should worry about you, it should be Jennifer, but she is not in this federation, thank god. Other then that, you probably just all out suck! Anyways, here is an update from Myers down in the basement.

Deck the Halls Report

Myers: This is Myers Watterson for your. Deck the Halls. Update.

We already know that Mr. America earned a shot at the UCP Cruiserweight Championship at Halloween Horror and hell be facing Traci Lane for that title at “Deck The Halls”

The following matches have been signed for this event just this week:

Executioner will be defending the Internet Title against Monica Brant.

And Virgo will defend the UCP TV Championship against Asian Invasion.

“The Enforcer” Adam Sanchez will be taking on “The Enforcer” Rachel Ryan. Stipulations for this match are still being considered.

Other matches will be signed as the weeks go by so stay tuned and I’ll give you the information as I get it.

We’ll see you next week.

Davey: Oh great, I can predict how that night going to be. perhaps I should just either stay home, or just do guest commentary, or something cause I smell lameness all over. We all know Traci Lane and Mr. America locking up, but sometimes I wonder if it just the ring. The emotionally flooded against PMS. Executioner will probably wondering how Freddy’s family will be doing on Christmas eve without Freddy’s income. Monica will probably come in red and green lace attire. Remember, Monica, this is a family show. The Battle of the Enforcers? Give me a break! Why they don’t they just stick these kids in the corner until they can come out with a reasonable offer. a tag team? “The Enforcers”? Wait, can’t reveal that information. That too much imagination for them kids we call wrestlers out there. Oh cool, I can do a beer run. Virgo against Asian Invasion. These two [censor]will probably wrestle to a draw, cause they both suck so much that they probably run out of time before one gets one hand on them. Come on boys, give me a break! Halloween Horror had good ratings for some odd reason, do you have to mess it up by putting these two bozos who could wrestle next week? The UCP always complaining about money, so here is an idea to create some income. update the TV title match to. a triangle match! Asian Invasion vs. Virgo vs. who else? ME! Asian, you are concerned about showing me a real match? Here is your chance boy! Virgo? You think your are big and bad, here is your chance to prove it! Accept the challenge and I will show you who the MASTER and who are APPRENTICE. Unlike you two [censor][censor], I am not obsessed with the title. I am just trying to prove a point! NEXT!

Ed: We’re back folks. Next up we’ve got “Mistress” Monica Brant trying to recover after her loss at Halloween

Biff: Hey, that was a loss to Traci Lane, one of the best in the business. And only after one hell of a match. Brant’s got nothing to be ashamed of.

Ed: Regardless, let’s go to ringside.

Skipper Mavis vs. Monica Brant

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, our next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, to my left. She hails from Los Angeles, California, and weighs in at 135 lbs. Here is “Barbie Girl” Skipper Mavis!

(“Barbie Girl” plays for a few seconds, and the crowd does absolutely nothing.)

Biff: (Unintelligible grumblings.)

Ed: Well, Skipper seems. ready to face her first match here in the UCP. I guess.

Announcer: And her opponent. She hails from Toronto, Ontario, and weighs in at 151 lbs. Here is “Mistress” Monica Brant!

(Lukewarm reaction from the crowd as Monica heads to the ring. The fans just don’t seem to be interested.)

Ed: And Brant seems a little distracted tonight as she gets ready to lock up with the Barbie Girl.

Biff: She’s probably just wondering what she did to deserve wrestling someone named Skipper. Lock up, and Barbie with a headlock. A Toss to the ropes, Monica downed with a dropkick.

Ed: Skipper with a quick offense here in this match and Brant seeming unable to compensate. Brant back up after that dropkick and an arm drag into an armbar by Skipper. Monica on the mat and Barbie Girl looking rather pleased with herself.

Biff: She should be. So far, Skipper’s been brave and sure in this match, and I can’t believe I just said that.

Ed: Neither can I, Biff. BG pulling Monica to her feet, leg drop on the arm. you know, we might see the debut of a new superstar here in the UCP.

Biff: I hope not. That would mean we’d have to listen to her theme song again’ Skipper again hauling Monica to her feet, and a toss to the ropes and a crossbody NO! Monica catches her in mid-air!

Ed: The smaller Skipper being lugged into position by Monica. Running powerslam! That had to hurt and Monica’s on top of the game once again’ A pick up by the former fashion model. piledriver! Skipper not moving much on the mat now.

Biff: Monica rolling her over for a cover, ref’s there. 1. 2. 3.

Announcer: The winner of the match, “Mistress” Monica Brant!

(The crowd boos as Monica’s hand is raised in victory.)

Ed: Well, it looked interesting for awhile there, but that piledriver sealed the match for Barbie Girl.

Biff: Thank goodness. Now she can go back to the dream home and live with Ken for awhile.

Davey looking a little disgusted]

Davey: Oh my god. Skipper? Monica, you sure do know how to pick em. next!


Executioner is seen walking through the Crew’s jungle Mansion, the place looks like it has seen better days…?, there is a layer of dust over everything and it all seems very deserted]

Executioner: Monty…., Stacks’ ‘Shogun……?? Anyone. ? where have you guys disappeared too…??, Look guys I won the Intercontinental Belt, we should be throwing a party or something…?

suddenly a loud creak is heard from behind, executioner jumps., startled and turns around to see the UCP camera crew heading his way]

Executioner: Hey guys have any of you seen Monty?? I haven’t heard from him or anyone else from the Crew since the UCP was reinstated??

camera crew all shake their heads no]

Executioner: Damn. I know Monty had to drop some serious weight to stay in the UCP, I hope he’s alright, but that shouldn’t have been a problem for either Shogun or $tacks?? What is going on here…? Guys I haven’t heard from any of you lately what’s up, someone call me., If I don’t here from you guys soon I’m going to go to the police. Hmmmm Virgo has been talking about paying Monty back for the longest time, maybe he has done something to him……or maybe Mr. America, or maybe Ricky Hype…? they all had beefs with the Crew. man I’m getting paranoid. what could have happened to all of them. ????

scene fades as executioner is heard yelling out the names of Monty stacks and shogun??]

Davey: Am I suppose to cry or something? You see Virgo, like I said, the Crew is on the verge of collapse and their the living proof. Let see, Pretty Boy got his pretty face bashed up at Halloween Horror. Shogun was shown why Japan’s feudal age ended. Stacks? The [censor: who dresses is probably made of dollar bills, hoping one day one guy would take it off and see her inside? HAH! That a laugh. Exe, we all know why the Crew has virtually fallen off the face of the earth. they didn’t build the foundation right. once one wrestler started suffering, then everything fell. By the time you got the title, it was too late. From the beginning, the crew had nothing but an empty foundation and they still continue to build themselves up and the crew pretty much like the house, fell! I think I sent a couple of practical jokes, but I didn’t think it would scare them off. [mockingly: oops. Next up, a non-title match with Virgo. first here is interview we caught on tape.


Virgo is standing just inside the arena doors, talking with a sound technician. He is dressed in black wrestling tights, and a tight fitting black shirt. he holds in his hand a CD, which he is handing to the sound tech, and explaining some stuff.]

Virgo: “See this CD? This here is my entrance music for tonight. You better use it instead of the usual stuff, or else I will be very upset, and I will come hunting for you. You got that?”

Tech: “Ye. yes sir, Mr Virgo.”

Virgo: “Mr Virgo? Just call me Virgo.”

Tech: “Yes sir.”

{The tech runs off with the CD. Virgo notices the camera and motions it closer.}

Virgo: “Well, hello there. As you know, I have a match coming up in about half an hour. Just waiting for a delivery to arrive. I think you will like it. It will accent my TV Title nicely, I think. Right along with my International Title from my other place of employment. But enough about that. Tonight, you are going to see a whole different side to your TV Champion. I am not the simple little rookie pushover I once was. I have been a champion on numerous occasions since I signed here. This was my first fed, and I owe it a lot for letting me taste championship status. But its like a drug. I cant get enough. And now I have it. Two of them actually. And tonight, you will see the other side that keeps Virgo together.”

Virgo turns, looking out the door as a black stretch limo pulls up to the doors, with the licensee plate reading. TRINITY. He smiles, and walks out to the door, talking to the driver. A few moments later, he returns, and the limo pulls off.]

Virgo: “Just some business I needed to handle. Christmas is coming to the UCP early this year. Mr America, I have a special gift, just for you. But for now, I
have a match to get ready for.”

Virgo walks off, whistling to himself.}

cut to ringside]

“Elaine Bryant here, and what a night it has been so far. Next up we have our two time UCP Television Champion Virgo, taking o……wait a minute….who is this coming to the ring?”

A figure in a black cloak walks to the ring from the locker room area. Some fans cheer, while most have no idea what is going on. The figure stops outside the ring, then turns, and walks to the announcers booth.]

Elaine: “It seems we have a visitor.”

the figure sits down beside Elaine, and puts on a headset.]

Figure: “Good evening, Ms Bryant. Is this seat taken?”

Elaine: “I would assume it is now. Who, may I ask, are you?”

Figure: “No one that you need to concern yourself with.”

Elaine: “There have been rumors of a new member to the UCP. Are you him?”

Figure: “I am not affiliated with the UCP, except through a colleague. I am here to do commentary for the next match.”

Elaine: “Yes. well. maybe security will have something to discuss with you when its over.”

Figure: “Security knows to stay away from the Sandman.”

Elaine: “Sandman?”

Sandman: “Yes.”

Elaine: “I HAVE heard of you, haven’t I?”

Sandman: “We shall see. But for now, let us commentate.”

Elaine: “Yes, well. About to come down the aisle, from Brighton Ontario, Canada, here is. Sleeper. Stevens!”

Sandman: “Who?”

Elaine: “. Sleeper. Stevens. He is the dominator of the Ontario Wrestling Federation in Canada.”

Sandman: “Welcome to the big leagues, Mr Stevens.”

Elaine: “And about to come down the aisle….from Kingston, Ontario, Canada. “

Sandman: “Miss Bryant?”

Elaine: “Yes?”

Sandman: “Shut up and let me introduce him, will you?”

Elaine: “Uhm. err…ok. “

Suddenly,. The Phantom’s Overture. by Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Phantom of the Opera” bellows out of the PA speakers. A figure steps out from behind the curtain, dressed all in black. On his face is a grotesque mask of a rotting skull. On each shoulder, sits a gold championship belt.]

Sandman: “Making his way to the ring, hailing from Parts Irrelevant, the Two Time UCP Television Champion, and the only man to hold the SWF International Title….you know him as Virgo but I know him as. The Equalizer!”

Virgo walks to the announcers table. He hands the belts to Sandman to look after, and exchanges a few words briefly before entering the ring.]

Elaine: “What is with all this? Who are you? And what does the SWF have to do with this?”

Sandman: “I told you. I am Sandman. And that, is the SWF’s International Champion The Equalizer.”

Elaine: “That’s Virgo.”

Sandman: “Same thing. He is here to wrestle for you tonight, and as soon as this match is over, he has to be at the SWF studios for a live show.”

Elaine: “Oh, so that explains the get up. No time to change.”

Sandman: “Yes. And there is the bell.”

They lock up.. Sleeper. Stevens executes a kick to the thigh. Virgo executes the Running Forearm Smash. Referee counts: One, two, shoulder up. Virgo executes a Russian legsweep. Virgo goes for an atomic drop, but. Sleeper. Stevens counters it with a bulldog headlock.

Sandman: “Virgo making his presence known early in this match.”

. Sleeper. Stevens takes him down with a cobra clutch. Virgo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 17 seconds. “Sleeper. Stevens executes an abdominal stretch. Virgo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.. Sleeper. Stevens goes for a jumping side kick, but Virgo counters it with a duck-down move. Virgo executes an enzuigiri to the face. Virgo takes him down with a flying axehandle.

Elaine: “Our TV Champion is hot! Look at him go.”

Sandman: “Not surprising.”

Virgo nails him with a Frankensteiner. Referee counts: One, two, shoulder up. Virgo takes him down with the Running Forearm Smash. Referee counts: One, kickout. Virgo executes a double underhook piledriver. Virgo whips. Sleeper. Stevens into the ropes. Virgo takes him down with a Russian legsweep.

Sandman: “Virgo taking care of business as usual.”

Virgo goes for an atomic drop, but. Sleeper. Stevens blocks it.. Sleeper. Stevens executes a forearm to the back. “Sleeper. Stevens executes a kneelift.. Sleeper. Stevens runs into the ropes.. Sleeper. Stevens takes him down with an abdominal stretch. Virgo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.. Sleeper. Stevens takes him down with a front facelock. Virgo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.

Elaine: “Virgo losing steam now, and Sleeper taking over.”

Sandman: “You speak premature.”

. Sleeper. Stevens goes for a savate kick, but Virgo counters it with a duck-down move. Virgo nails him with a choke slam. Virgo whips. Sleeper. Stevens into the ropes.. Sleeper. Stevens executes the Bed Bug. Virgo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 15 seconds.. Sleeper. Stevens goes for a dropkick to the knee, but Virgo counters it with a side step. Virgo takes him down with an enzuigiri. Virgo executes a Russian legsweep. Virgo goes for the Running Forearm Smash, but. Sleeper. Stevens counters it with a duck-down move.

Sandman: “That Stevens is getting a lucky break there.”

Elaine: “We gotta wonder why this is taking place.”

. Sleeper. Stevens executes a kick to the thigh.. Sleeper. Stevens nails him with a short lariat. Referee counts: One, shoulder up.. Sleeper. Stevens executes a figure-four sleeper. Virgo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.. Sleeper. Stevens nails him with a half Boston. Virgo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.. Sleeper. Stevens runs into the ropes. Virgo hits. Sleeper. Stevens with a backdrop.. Sleeper. Stevens falls out of the ring.

Sandman: “Virgo taking it outside, where he excels.”

Referee counts: one, two, three,. Sleeper. Stevens reenters the ring.

Virgo nails him with a figure-four sleeper.. Sleeper. Stevens reaches the ropes after being trapped for 21 seconds. Virgo executes a headscissors submission.. Sleeper. Stevens reaches the ropes after being trapped for 8 seconds. Virgo nails him with a crucifix.

Referee counts: One, two, shoulder up.

Elaine: “The Champion unable to get the pin.”

Virgo goes for a backbreaker, but. Sleeper. Stevens blocks it.. Sleeper. Stevens nails him with an ipponzei. Referee counts: One, two, kickout.. Sleeper. Stevens runs into the ropes.. Sleeper. Stevens goes for an ipponzei, but Virgo counters it with a lariat. Virgo executes a bodyslam. Virgo whips. Sleeper. Stevens into the turnbuckle, but. Sleeper. Stevens reverses it.. Sleeper. Stevens charges into the corner.. Sleeper. Stevens runs into the ropes. Virgo executes a bodyslam. Virgo takes him down with a full nelson.

Sandman: “Virgo is also a master of submission.”

Elaine: “We shall see if he can win with it.”

. Sleeper. Stevens reaches the ropes after being trapped for 15 seconds. Virgo whips. Sleeper. Stevens into the ropes. Virgo hits. Sleeper. Stevens with a clothesline.. Sleeper. Stevens falls out of the ring. Virgo goes through the ropes.

Elaine: “Outside again.”

Sandman: “Yes. Equalizer, or Virgo as he is still known here, can dish out more punishment out here.”

Virgo takes him down with an enzuigiri. Virgo takes him down with a dropkick.. Sleeper. Stevens knocks Virgo into the ringsteps.. Sleeper. Stevens goes for an armbar submission, but Virgo blocks it. “Sleeper. Stevens knocks Virgo into the ringsteps. Virgo whips. Sleeper. Stevens into the guardrail. Virgo takes him down with an enzuigiri. Virgo reenters the ring.. Sleeper. Stevens follows him back in’ Virgo goes for an enzuilariato, but. Sleeper. Stevens counters it with a duck-down move.

Elaine: “And the tables have turned, it seems.”

Sandman: “Mmm.”

. Sleeper. Stevens executes a forearm to the back.. Sleeper. Stevens nails him with a chop.. Sleeper. Stevens takes him down with a legsweep. Virgo whips. Sleeper. Stevens into the ropes, but. Sleeper. Stevens reverses it. Virgo hits. Sleeper. Stevens with an elbow. Virgo is going for the pin’ Referee counts: One, two, kickout.

Elaine: “Virgo unable to get more then a 2 count.”

Sandman: “He’s just warming up.”

Virgo goes for a cartwheel kick, but. Sleeper. Stevens counters it with a side step.. Sleeper. Stevens goes for a headlock takedown, but Virgo counters it with a back suplex. Virgo whips. Sleeper. Stevens into the ropes, but. Sleeper. Stevens reverses it.. Sleeper. Stevens goes for a kick to the thigh, but Virgo blocks it. Virgo whips. Sleeper. Stevens into the ropes, but. Sleeper. Stevens reverses it. Virgo hits. Sleeper. Stevens with a kick.

Elaine: “More offense on the part of Virgo. Hey. who is that?”

Sandman: “Ah. It seems the delivery was made on time.”

Elaine: “What delivery?”

Sandman: “Just some fans of your Television Champion.”

Virgo takes him down with a double underhook piledriver. Virgo is going for the pin’ Virgo pulls the tights. Referee counts: One, two, in the ropes. Virgo whips. Sleeper. Stevens into the ropes. Virgo hits. Sleeper. Stevens with a backdrop.. Sleeper. Stevens falls out of the ring. Referee counts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven,. Sleeper. Stevens reenters the ring. Virgo whips. Sleeper. Stevens into the ropes. Virgo and. Sleeper. Stevens get hit with a double clothesline. Virgo goes for a faceslam, but. Sleeper. Stevens blocks it.. Sleeper. Stevens takes him down with a legsweep.. Sleeper. Stevens whips Virgo into the ropes.. Sleeper. Stevens misses with a clothesline.. Sleeper. Stevens takes him down with a dropkick to the knee.. Sleeper. Stevens executes a swinging punch.. Sleeper. Stevens takes him down with a dropkick to the knee.. Sleeper. Stevens whips Virgo into the ropes.. Sleeper. Stevens executes an armbar submission. Virgo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.

Elaine: “Virgo being manhandled again’this isn’t looking good.”

Sandman: “To you. But this Stevens character is about to get his butt kicked.”

. Sleeper. Stevens throws Virgo out of the ring.. Sleeper. Stevens goes through the ropes. They’re brawling on the floor.. Sleeper. Stevens whips Virgo into the guardrail.. Sleeper. Stevens nails him with a cobra clutch. Virgo reenters the ring.. Sleeper. Stevens follows him back in’ Virgo runs into the ropes.. Sleeper. Stevens takes him down with an armbar submission.. Sleeper. Stevens lets go after 12 seconds.. Sleeper. Stevens nails him with a back suplex.. Sleeper. Stevens runs into the ropes.. Sleeper. Stevens nails him with a swinging punch.. Sleeper. Stevens nails him with a front facelock. Virgo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 10 seconds.

Elaine: “Whose butt is getting kicked?”

Sandman: “My you are impatient, aren’t you? Wait for it.”

. Sleeper. Stevens takes him down with a swinging punch.. Sleeper. Stevens executes a legsweep.. Sleeper. Stevens whips Virgo into the ropes. Virgo takes him down with the Running Forearm Smash. Referee counts: One, two, kickout. Virgo takes him down with a bodyslam. Virgo is going for the pin’ Referee counts: One, two, kickout. Virgo takes him down with a choke slam. Virgo goes for a Boston crab, but. Sleeper. Stevens blocks it.. Sleeper. Stevens executes a slap.. Sleeper. Stevens whips Virgo into the ropes. Virgo hits. Sleeper. Stevens with an elbow. Virgo executes a lariat.. Sleeper. Stevens bumps into Referee.

Elaine: “And down goes the ref! That spells trouble.”

Sandman: “Please. That is standard procedure in the SWF. Its just not fun without someone decking the ref. They need to pay more attention anyway.”

Virgo goes for a piledriver, but. Sleeper. Stevens counters it with a backdrop. Referee is back on the job.. Sleeper. Stevens takes him down with a takeover suplex.. Sleeper. Stevens nails him with a jumping DDT.. Sleeper. Stevens is going for the pin’ Referee counts: One, two, kickout.. Sleeper. Stevens nails him with a short arm scissors.. Sleeper. Stevens lets go after 12 seconds.

Elaine: “Sleeper letting go of a submission.”

Sandman: “Virgo isn’t so generous.”

. Sleeper. Stevens runs into the ropes.. Sleeper. Stevens nails him with an armbar submission. Virgo reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.. Sleeper. Stevens goes for a back suplex, but Virgo counters it with a cross-body block. Referee counts: One, two, kickout.. Sleeper. Stevens executes a slap.. Sleeper. Stevens executes a jumping DDT.. Sleeper. Stevens executes an ipponzei. Referee counts: One, two, kickout.. Sleeper. Stevens nails him with a fist to the midsection.. Sleeper. Stevens executes a short lariat. Referee counts: One, two, thr. kickout.

Sandman: “That guy thinks he is going to pin the champion? I don’t think so.”

Elaine: “He has been doing very we’ll so far.”

. Sleeper. Stevens nails him with a jumping DDT. Virgo takes the Whip and uses it on him.

Elaine: Hey! Virgo just whipped Stevens across the back with that weapon!”

Sandman: “Guess who just got Equalized.”

He goes for the pin’ Referee counts: One, two, three.

Sandman: “The winner is Virgo. Time of match: 15: 21.”

Elaine: “What are these characters doing coming down to the ring? Hey. where are you going?”

Sandman hops into the ring, along with the other strangers, and stand around Virgo. Virgo takes a microphone, and looks out at the crowd.]

Virgo: “Hey Mrs America! I told you I would get you a Christmas present. And here it is. For the rest of you peons out there in the UCP, let me introduce to you, the present I got our beloved Arrogant American. Ladies and gentlemen. I give to you. Trinity and Associates!”

The group raise their hands in the air, cheering amongst each other.]

Virgo: “Meet the Marquee of the SWF, Pagan! The Lord of Fitful Slumber, Sandman! The Men in Black, Mr Shhh, Mr Jones, and Mr Smith! And, the SWF Tag Team Champions, and Elvis. best friends, Rigor and Mortis. The Living Dead!”

The crowd boos, with a few scattered supporters. Virgo chuckles, hoisting both the UCP television title and the SWF International title into the air over his head. Sandman takes the mic and lifts it up.]

Sandman: “America, you were once a member of the SWF. You left, most likely because you feared your lack of a future. Well, even you cant escape Trinity. We dominate the SWF, and we are going to dominate you! Trinity has received special permission, from both President Stevie of the UCP, and President Brian Frenck of the SWF, to attend the UCP’s January PPV. And why? Simple. Trinity is challenging you, Mr America. To a 5 on 5 steel cage match in January. Now, don’t feel bad if you don’t have that many friends. We’ll take you on anyway. Merry Christmas, loser!”

Trinity cheers, as. The Phantom’s Overture. plays over the PA System again’trinity moves out of the ring, heading back towards the locker room, amidst a shower of cups and popcorn, thrown from the fans.]

Sighing and mumbling “What are they doing in this fed?”]

Davey: Prepared to be equalized? Well. equalized this…[extends his finger. the middle one. however, it is blurred: Come on, Pres, don’t you have anything better to do with Deck the Halls then to allow these…whatever you call them. Virgo, I said it once and I say it again, you aren’t the man until you face and beat the man, and that man is me! So cut the chatter, and sign the contract. you against me next week in a TV title match! You are only second rate compared to me boy! If you think otherwise, you as we’ll as you “Trininny” friends will have to prove it as well. However, enough time wasted with that. onto the girl who thinks she
is hot when she is not. this is the bouncing [censor: Shiva!


In the hall leading to the arena major. Shiva and her sister CookLie are resting along the wall, chatting. CookLie’s a fair bit smaller in all regards to her older sister, with black/red peppered hair and wearing a brown leather jacket and gold-rimmed sunglasses. Shiva’s in her ring attire which is no different from regular: black jeans and a black tank-top; her sunglasses are on per usual.]

CookLie:. than the poor bloke had to get a proctologist to get the broomhandle out!

Shiva: *chuckles* Sounds like you’ve been having some fun while I’ve been gone.

CookLie: Yea, but the joint’s nearly dying, like an electric butterfly dangling ever so closely to.

Shiva: *cuts her off* None of that surre alist crap right now luv. Got a new broad to beat up on tonight. After beating the tar outta that bloody Mariko chick

CookLie: *cutting Shiva off* The dame was a former champion I heard. So’s this Stacks you’re up against today.

Shiva: *chuckles again* I think someone upstairs don’t like me very much. Well, anyways, whoever’s thinking its funny to get their high-priced kneecappers after me has a thing coming to them. After I drag this dumb b. oh I shouldn’t cuss in front of the camera should I? Seems everyone’s bleeping that and bleeping someone and the like and it gets rather tedious after a while.

As I was saying: Mr. Stevie-person, prepare to watch one of your angels fall. *starts walking down the aisle as “Sweet Dreams” starts playing. She turns back to CookLie while nearing the door.*

I’ll talk to you after I get this over with. Oh, and for old times sake, that cameraman’s been begging for a hurt since he started filming us. I’d do it but I’m late as it is, so knock yourself out. *exits*

*CookLie turns to the cameraman, gets an evil grin to her and walks towards him, motioning him with her finger. A hand covers the lens and becomes static.*

Davey: Footage for that match will be out later tonight due to the fact that I will say when it goes out. it my show, so I will say what and when goes. Stacks? Angel? Since when? Come on Shiva. stop with the old timers, and start with the new timers. defeat someone worthwhile. Up next, we shall see the two “ladies” from the Femme. it is Traci and Rachel Ryan.

Traci Lane & Rachel Ryan

(The scene: A grungy-looking biker joint, with the usual clientele of shady characters seated at the bar and around various tables. The conversation is rude, loud, and punctuated with fits of uproarious laughter as the local chapter of Hell’s Hammers parties down.

The doors to the bar open, and walking in are Rachel and Traci, decked out in leather jackets, black bras/bustiers, skintight leather pants, fingerless gloves, and sunglasses. They are an impossibly erotic vision of no-nonsense domination, and stride in with shoulders back, heads high, gazing down on the men with smug arrogance. They stroll up to the bar, and slide onto a pair of stools.)

Rachel: Scotch and soda.

Traci: Amoretta sour.

(The bartender blinks, to clear his eyes of the hallucination he must be having, then goes off to fix the drinks. As he returns with their beverages , some bikers have gotten up and clustered around them.)

Scar: Hey! We got us some action! (Gets close to Rachel.) Who you supposed to be? Biker Barbie?

(Rachel lowers her sunglasses slightly, arches an eyebrow in contempt, then turns away. She takes her drink and slams it down in one gulp.)

Rachel: Beat it, stud, before you wind up choking on those chains.

(The bikers look at one another and laugh. Another closes in on Traci.)

Spike: Hey, baby! I got somethin’ else you can drink! (He grabs his crotch and tugs at it.)

Traci: (She looks down between his legs, then back up.) Doesn’t appear to be much to latch onto there, stud.

(More laughter; the guys are really getting a kick out of the attitude the girls are giving them. One of them starts running his hand up Traci’s leg, and she rolls her eyes.)

Traci: Better knock it off, or you’ll be pulling back a stump.

Snake: This one’s got spunk! Hey, babe, let’s–

Traci: (Looks at Rachel.) Ready?

Rachel: Yeah.

(Traci wheels and grabs Snake by the throat. She jerks him up, and to the amazement of everyone, choke-slams him through a nearby table. Rachel casually grabs Spike by the crotch and neck, presses him overhead, then sends him flying into some of his buddies.

The remainder of the battle is ugly, as they variously apply their favorite power moves to the battlin’ bikers, leaving them all on the floor.)

Traci: Nice work. (They exchange a high-five.) Of course, these guys weren’t much by way of competition.

Rachel: Yeah, well, a fight’s a fight.

Traci: Indeed. (They re-seat themselves.) Have you decided on whether to challenge Adam Sanchez yet?

Rachel: What, the faux Enforcer? Yeah, I’ve thought about kickin’ his ass. The time may be comin’ to show. im who the real deal is. How about Monica? Heard from her since the pay-per-view?

Traci: (Shakes her head.) No. I was really hoping our match would change things, but I suppose not.

Rachel: Yeah, we’ll don’t tear yourself up over it. It’s her problem, let. er deal with it.

Traci: It’s hard, Rachel. She’s a Femme, whether she wants to admit it or not. She’s just so headstrong, she won’t let it go.

Rachel: I guess we’re all a little like that.

Traci: True enough.

(One of the bikers pulls himself up, and crawls onto the stool beside Traci. )

Biker: Uh. ahem. I’d like ta apologize for the crude behavior of my friends. Can we buy ya a drink?

(Traci looks at Rachel, who smiles and shrugs.)

Traci: Yes you may. And my name is Traci. This is my friend Rachel.

Biker: (Dabbing at his split lip with a handkerchief). Warchild. (He shakes hands with them.) It’s a pleasure.

(The bartender lines up the next round, and the view fades….)

Davey: Sure, whenever *I* trash a club or a bar, I get permanently thrown out, but if you two WOMEN throw a fight in there, no, nothing wrong there. you can stay, yadda yadda. Everyone talking about equal rights, but I would be the first to say that Females have more rights then males do. Hey Traci and Rachel. this isn’t a porn flick. the only reason I show this trash was cause they paid me to do it. otherwise, it would of been tossed out the window. Come on, dress decent for once. Women are trying to proclaim to me that I am the one who degrade the image of women, but it those two femme that are degrading themselves. you make yourselves look like sleazy sex objects. Geez. if you are going to say something to me about that, save it. it just go in one ear and out the other, cause you are not a fine example of upgrading the image of women. Rachel, if you haven’t notice, you do have a match against Adam Sanchez at Deck the Halls. I personally think the sun is getting to your brain’that ok, there is a good cure for it. go into a freezer in a bikini! That will get you going. Monica? That woman belongs in an Asylum. How can you be so sympathetic. You are so sympathetic it is sickening. If you accept, Monica back into the Femmes, she is just going to break away again’that all there is too it. however, here is a match with Rachel in it. let see if she has improved.

Backstreet Boy vs. Rachel Ryan

Biff: Alright, Ed, looks like we’ve got Rachel Ryan coming up next. Funny how she hasn’t done much since being beaten by Mr. America at Halloween Horror.

Ed: She’s probably been busy recovering from being nailed repeatedly by a baseball bat, Biff.

Biff: Ha, what a wimp!

Announcer: This next contest is scheduled for one fall! (Crowd pops a little) Introducing first, already in the ring. He hails from Blackpool, England, and weighs in at 230 lbs. Here is the BackStreet Boy!

(BSB jumps to the top turnbuckle, and a few ladies in the front row cheer. He’s rather young and good looking.)

Biff: BackStreet Boy? Isn’t that a copyright violation?

Ed: No such thing in the world of pro wrestling, Biff.

Announcer: And, his opponent. She hails from Chicago, Illinois, and weighs in at 205 lbs. This is the Enforcer, Rachel Ryan!

(Rachel comes through the curtains, and the crowd starts to cheer. We see a couple signs that say “Enforce me, Rachel!” Ryan looks confident as she struts to ringside.)

Ed: Rachel taking off her jacket, and she’s got some kind of picture on her tee-shirt.

(The camera focuses, and we see Rachel wearing a picture of a young baby. with Monica Brant’s face.)

Biff: Ha! Ryan rubbing in the loss at Halloween for Brant. She’s smart and sexy!

Ed: You were calling her a wimp before.

Biff: Yeah, but I’d rather cheer for her than BackAlley Boy.

Ed: (Sigh)Bell rings and we’re underway. Lock up and Rachel with a headlock, reversed by BackStreet and turned into a standing armlock. Rachel now turning it over into a hammerlock. BackStreet trying to turn it around. can’t so it. Moving over to the ropes, walking up and over! Rachel releases the hammerlock and BackStreet with a headlock on the Enforcer.

Biff: (Silence. then a sudden snort.) Is it over yet? Oh, guess not. Ryan tosses BS Boy off and into the ropes. Tries for a clothesline but he ducks. Does some stupid wrestling thing and then twists her leg around as she lies on the mat.

Ed: That’s a spinning toe hold, Ed.

Biff: How am I supposed to know that? When’s the last time someone actually used a wrestling hold these days? Rachel grabs the ropes and BS Boy forced to release the hold. He poses for the crowd while Rachel gets up. BS turns around. armdrag by Ryan? And now an armbar? What the heck?

Ed: Ryan working over the arm of young BS, I mean BackStreet, and controlling the pace of this match very well. Ryan now to a standing position, a whip to the ropes, and a boot from the Enforcer!

Biff: Finally! Ryan of the ropes, and an elbow to BS Boy! And now. another arm lock?

Ed: Ryan perhaps showing that she’s not just a one dimensional brawler. She cranking on that armbar. BackStreet grabbing for the ropes, and the ref makes Ryan release the hold. Back Street slides out of the ring, and Rachel follows him to the floor!

Biff: Rachel taking it to BackStreet on the floor, and the kid fighting back! A rake to the eyes and Rachel’s stopped short. BS going to the apron, charging dropkick on the Enforcer! Hey, this kid’s not too bad!

Ed: BackStreet back into the ring, and Rachel getting to her feet. She rolls back in and into a short splash from the Boy. A pin’ 1. That’s it! Ryan too fresh to be caught that easily. A pick up now, and a whip. BackStreet ducking and a knee from Rachel!

Biff: Right into the BS Boy’s pretty face. Ha!

Ed: You change sides rather quickly, don’t you?

Biff: Hey, I’m just trying to call the match fairly here. Rachel now with a standing armbar on the BS Boy. a boot to the ribs! And an elbow to the shoulder takes the poor kid down to the mat. Man, it’s a safe bet BS won’t be signing any autographs with that arm.

Ed: Rachel turning the BackStreet Boy over and going for a pin’ 1. 2. shoulder up! Pushing down the shoulder. 1. 2. shoulder up! A Psyche-out game by Ryan here on the young kid.

Biff: Yeah, fascinating. Ryan hauls the kid to his feet, a whip to the ropes, and a powerslam by Ryan! Impressive versatility shown tonight by Ryan. She picks BS Boy up. gorilla press! That’s the setup as she spins and POWERSLAMS HIM from the ozone! One. two. three, and Rachel Ryan puts away the BackStreet Boy!

Ed: I don’t think the BackStreet Boy knew he was pinned there. Let’s get the official. (Suddenly, Adam Sanchez charges the ring, dressed in street-clothes. He has a length of chain wrapped around his fist.)

Biff: Sanchez in the ring! Ryan sees him, and gets nailed by that chain fist! The Real Enforcer is in the house!

Ed: You were cheering Ryan a while ago!

Biff: Yeah, but Adam’s got the chain now. He’s pointing out as he nails Rachel with a DDT. And now more hits with that chain’ Amazing Rachel isn’t bleeding by now. (Crowd starts to boo.) What’s this?

Ed: Monica Brant coming to ringside! That must have been what Sanchez was pointing at! Traci Lane and Consuelo Salyards not even here tonight! Security has got to break this up before Ryan gets seriously injured here!

Biff: Monica in the ring now, and Sanchez has a pair of handcuffs. Rachel’s groggy and now she’s being handcuffed to the turnbuckle. Monica looking on as Sanchez yells something at Ryan.

Adam Sanchez: I AM THE ENFORCER!

Ed: Ryan trying to get Sanchez, but he moves back. It looks like she’s got a cut over her eye from her, she might not even be able to see. Now Sanchez and Monica talking about something. This was a plot! A plot between them from the very beginning!

Biff: Duh! Brant nodding her head now and Sanchez turning back. a CLOTHESLINE FROM BRANT!

Ed: MONICA BRANT JUST HIT ADAM SANCHEZ FROM BEHIND! And she grabbing at that chain! And hitting him with it! She’s pulling his jacket off and wrapping it around his neck. A pick up now, and a toss over the ropes! Sanchez hits the floor! Brant now, turning back to Ryan.

Biff: Rachel standing in the corner and glaring at Brant. Some kind of stare down going on here and Monica walks up and hands something to Rachel? It’s the keys! Monica letting Ryan out of the handcuffs!

Ed: What is this? Security at ringside, now, escorting Adam Sanchez back to the locker room. Rachel’s got the handcuffs open, but she’s still eyeing Brant. The Mistress just standing there and now she’s talking to her. Folks we can’t. can’t tell what she’s saying but. Rachel’s nodding. I can’t believe this folks, these two having some kind of conversation and a handshake!

Biff: Folks, we might have just seen some kind of rekindling of old friendships here on the Gospel Truth. We’ll try and get more information as it is available. For now, we’ve got to get back to the control room.

Davey just looks in shock…]

Davey: Great, here we go. the reformation of the original Femme. just what this fed needs. NOT! You know the mistress has a trick up her sleeve. wait, she doesn’t have sleeves. so that leaves one place, ya, you know. right there. Monica, I guess you finally broke down and found out you could live without the Femmes eh? Guess you are weak, something that is not wise to be shown in the UCP. Unless. Rachel, if theory works out, how could you be DUMB enough to accept this women handshake. that would be. like me and Mr. America handshaking and will you see that happen. NO. The Crew already fell, and here comes the fall of another long time stables. here comes the fall of the Femmes. Why? Cause the entire group are nothing but two bit [censor: that use attraction to distract the men so they could use the low blows. you know what girls. that won’t happen. I, for one, don’t trust you. so don’t even think about it. I wouldn’t be dumb enough to team up with the psychotic Monica..Mistress. HAH! Try Mistressing me, and see where that gets you! However, here are comments who was just double crossed. the Enforcer. Adam Sanchez.

Adam Sanchez

the Enforcer is sitting on top of the turnbuckle in a dark arena]

Enforcer: I always like to come and see the arenas before they fi’ll up. There’s a tranquility now that is shattered when the fans take their places. When it’s this quiet you can concentrate on things. For example, I was just visualizing my victory over Mr. America. A long drawn out match, much like most of his interviews but a lot more interesting. We are both bleeding, barely able to stand. America delivers a kick to the gut and attempts his finisher, but I manage to push off and knock both of us to the ground. Exhausted, I begin to stand when America leaps at me. I dodge aside and sweep his leg. Just barely I manage to pull him through the Jailhouse Rocker and lock my hands into the Boston Crab. I’m so tired that I can barely keep my grip, but that only make me lean back more. America is too tired to break out, but too stubborn to give up. Eventually, my grip breaks and I fall to mat next to him. Crawling to opposite corners we pull ourselves up by the turnbuckles. We stagger to the center of the ring where I block America’s punch and deliver a blow to the stomach. I bounce off the ropes, moving by more momentum than effort, and deliver the Inverted Rollover Hiptoss. Rolling over just enough to push him to his back and cover him I get the three count. But enough of that. I don’t want to give away my plans.

Enforcer: What really makes me think is the absence of tag teams in the UCP. Are the teams supposed to show up before the belt or vice versa? Will they ever return? I am itching to return to my beginnings. I am looking for a tag team partner who is willing to give anything to win’ If any of you can live up to the likes of Devastator, then step out of the dark and bring tag team competition to its former OWA glory.

Scott sighs in disgrace…]

Davey: Adam, look at that match. you got it big time boy. Gee. what a detail match you dream up, but that all they are, dreams. You can dream all you want, but welcome to the real world. If anyone can live up to the greatness of Devastator? Give me a break. You don’t have what it takes to team with me boy! The only thing we have in common is we are both from Arizona. PERIOD! So don’t count me in’ Anyhow, here are some words of intelligence (snicker) from Taleis.


You see a lot of trash scattered about the room. old fast food containers, newspaper articles, magazines, and various other garbage. There’s some inexpensive furniture scattered around the room. a couple of chairs and a leather couch. An entertainment center is on the far wall of the room, opposite the furniture, with a good sized TV and stereo within it. Suddenly, the door on the far side rattles.]

Voice: God[BLEEP: piece of [BLEEP: door. ah, to hell with this!

The door abruptly crashes inward, and Taleis stumbles through, carrying a couple of suitcases.]

Taleis: Damn. guess I should’ve had them clean this place while I was gone.

Taleis puts his suitcases down and clears a place on the couch. He sits down on it and leans back, stretching his neck and arms.]

Taleis: Well, UCP, Halloween Horror has come and gone, and did I do what I said I was gonna do? Well, yes and no. I said I’d kick Virgo’s ass and that I did. I also said I’d retain the Television title. which, quite obviously, I failed to do. Oh well, my interest in that particular belt had about run it’s course anyway.

Taleis shrugs.]

Taleis: Now that I’ve been relieved of the TV title, I can move on to other things. such as Executioner’s newly won North American Championship title. Executioner, consider this me calling you out and if you accept, consider it me putting you out to pasture, where old guys like you belong. Speaking of old guys. whatever happened to the so-called “Legend”, Anthony Hazard? Ever since I humiliated him in the ring, he’s nowhere to be seen — or heard. Guess the old fogey couldn’t handle the heat, so he got out of the kitchen.

Taleis puts his feet up on a nearby stool, his face reflecting his contemplation.]

Taleis: Lots of people here in the UCP that I haven’t wrestled and a lot I’d like to put in their respective place, quite frankly. Who are some of those people? Well, I thought you’d never ask. [Taleis smirks.: Number one. Asian Invasion. This guy has been running his mouth off about wanting a shot at the TV Title ever since the OWA became the UCP. Well, Invasion, I may not have the belt anymore, but I’ll make you a deal. Accept my challenge, and if you ever get a TV title match, I won’t try to interfere against you or Virgo, or whoever else may be the champ. But turn me down, Invasion, and I will personally see to it that you will never, ever have the slightest chance of winning the Television title. or any other title, for that matter. As you can see, it would be in your best interest to accept. so don’t disappoint me, old boy.

Taleis cracks his knuckles, then puts his hands behind his head.]

Taleis: I’ve only got the time to address one more person I’d like to hook it up with and That’s none other than our UCP Cruiserweight champion, “The Black Widow” Traci Lane. However, I plan on addressing Traci with some respect. I mean, she IS the champion, and she’s also a friend of a friend of mine, after all. Traci, I’ve been watching you wrestle ever since I came into the OWA, and I’ve been impressed almost as long. Put the title up, or don’t. you make the call on that, but either way, I’d like to test my skills against the best wrestler in the UCP, and that belt says it’s you. Any time, any where, you name it, and I’ll show up. [Taleis grins.]

Taleis stands up suddenly, the grin fading.]

Taleis: Oh and Virgo, Scott. don’t think I’ll get so involved with my own ventures that I forget about my friendships here in the UCP. I’ve got their backs, and they’ve got mine and I am ALWAYS watching. Remember that.

Davey: You got to be kidding me. Taleis, is this one of few empty threats your are issuing out? Taleis, you have yet to meet me, but let face the facts, you better hope you never face me! Cause I don’t just talk the talk, but I have walked the walk, and I will walk right over you if you cross my path, and don’t forget that! Oh, if you even step into a fight between me and America again, you shall end up on the permanently injured list. You will see what I am talking about. next!

Mr. America

The scene opens to the outside of a club. People dressed in all attires are lined up front the outside of it. A man walks by wearing a pair of brown slacks and a collar shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Another man walks by with two women on his arms. A steady beat pumps from the inside of the club as a faint sound of DJ Cool’s “Let Me Clear My Throat” floats through the air. Bob, the UCP cameraman hoists up his camera and turns to his left to show a male and a female exiting the car. The female is decked out in black slacks and a white blouse that doesn’t fit the attire for the club. The man has on a pair of blue jeans, a plain, blue T-shirt, and a baseball hat put on backwards with the visor towards the back of his head. They step up towards the line, but are quickly recognized by a bouncer. The bouncer nods as the two make their way to the front of the line.]

Bouncer: Hey America. Long time no see. I thought this femme fatale had actually tamed the wild heart of yours.

Mr. America: Yeah Stevie, she tried, but she couldn’t do it.

Jennifer frowns and crosses her arms.]

Stevie: It seems that she doesn’t like this atmosphere.

Mr. America: Yeah, we’ll she’s the one who whined to get here.

Mr. America heads in to the club and vanishes among the people. Jennifer’s eyes close a bit as Stevie turns to her.]

Stevie: Hey, I’m Stevie. I’m the bouncer of this joint. Have a good time.

Stevie offer his hand, but Jennifer refuses it.]

Stevie: Okay and your name?

Jennifer: Ms. Dial and I prefer to shake hands with an uncivilized barbarian.

Stevie lets out a chuckle.]

Stevie: Okay “Ms. Dial”. Have fun in there and you’d probably want to stay by American’s side. You don’t want anyone else picking up your date.

Jennifer glows with anger and starts to say something. Stevie turns around and checks the id of a few people and let’s them into the club.]

Stevie: Hurry up Ms. Dial. The night is still young and there isn’t a party going on out here.

Jennifer bites her tongue and heads into the club. Bob follows her in’ The scene changes on the inside as a huge dance floor takes up the middle of the place. A disco ball hangs from the ceiling as the lights flicker to the rhythm of the music. The main bar hangs to the right as many single women and men occupy the places, too scared to get up the courage to ask each other to dance. The camera pans to the left to show a smaller bar where men and women sit enjoying a conversation. Tables sit around the smaller bar with groups sitting at the tables. Jennifer looks around for a minute as men walk by and check her out. She keeps looking without a second glance. She notices Mr. America at the smaller bar talking to the bartender. She heads over towards him with Bob in tow.]

Mr. America: Yeah, thanks Mike. IceHouse is fine for tonight.

Mr. America turns around as Mike puts the beer on the table.]

Mr. America: So, what’s your take?

Jennifer looks around and rolls her eyes in disgust.]

Jennifer: This is how you “unwind”?

Mr. America turns around and grabs the beer. He takes a sip and puts the beer back down.]

Mr. America: You’re the one who begged to come with me tonight. It’s not my fault and you have legs. You can walk home.

Jennifer turns around and walks towards the other end of the bar. Mr. America shrugs as a female comes walking up to him. Mr. America grins and
leans back onto the bar.]

Mr. America: Excuse me. I just saw a winning combination.

The female stops.]

Female: Oh yeah, what was that?

Mr. America: Me, you, the dance floor. It’s got winner written all over it.

The female giggles and leans up against the bar.]

Female: Oh? Really?

Mr. America: Yeah.

Female: My name’s Andrea.

Mr. America looks at Mike and grins. Mike groans and goes to wait on another customer.]

Mr. America: Andrea is it?

Andrea: Yeah, and you are?

Mike groans again from behind the bar and mouths the next line from Mr. America perfectly.]

Mr. America: Me? Well, I’m what every American aspires to be because I am America’s Perfection, Mr. America!

Mike looks at Bob.]

Mike: He’s got it down to a science.

Bob: Damn right he does. It gets old after the first time.

Mr. America: So tell me. What is it that attracted you towards me?

Andrea: We’ll it wasn’t you persay. It was the cute guy with the camera.

Mr. America frowns.]

Mr. America: Oh.

Andrea: But since he’s busy, why don’t we get busy?

Mr. America: As in the dance floor?

Jennifer, having overheard the conversation turns around and walks back over to Mr. America]

Andrea: Yep!

Jennifer pushes Mr. America aside.]

Mr. America: YO!

Jennifer: You make me sick!

Andrea throws her hand out.]

Andrea: Excuse me!?

Jennifer: For you to fall for such a moronic pickup line not only disgraces me, but the image of every woman in here. It is easy to see that your shoe size more than outmatches your intelligence level to say the least. Frankly, I want to head to the women’s bathroom to vomit up what I had to eat today when I see you giggle in such a manner that gives women the image of nothing more than a sexual plaything for a male! You are the anathema of the women of today’s society that have made it their life pursuit in order to give a better image than you show.

Jennifer turns around towards Mr. America as Andrea gets a really confused look on her face.]

Jennifer: To think that you help add to that bad imagery that the male dominated society wants to keep of us women. I actually had the train of thought that you were different since Tom seemed to think so highly of you and it appears that I was dead wrong in my evaluation of your views on women!

Mr. America leans back and looks at his fingernail.]

Jennifer: I thought you had the decency to not exploit women for anything more than objects and yet here we are and you are making an ass out of yourself in front of the entire club. Worst of all, is you want to think this “scene” is something good while it was established to do nothing more than portray women in the old ways of the old civilizations.

Mr. America: You done yet?

Jennifer: What!?

Mr. America: Good, now shut up.

Mike: At least there’s one woman here with a brain’

Mr. America takes Andrea by the hand and leads her to the dance floor. Jennifer crosses her arms and taps her foot.]

Jennifer: I do not believe the nerve of him.

Jennifer takes a seat at the bar and continues to stare at Mr. America with an angry glow in her eyes. The camera turns towards the entrance to see Davey Scott walk into the bar. Davey was wearing black jeans, a black shirt, and a baseball cap backwards, pulling what ever hair he had left, back. He asks for some Bud Light and he got the drink. He was just unwinding from a day of work. Jennifer notices Davey Scott and recognizes him almost immediately. Jennifer walks over towards Davey with an evil gleam in her eye.]

Jennifer: Excuse me, would you like to dance?

Davey Scott looks at Jennifer with little interest.]

Davey: No.

Jennifer moves back a bit.]

Jennifer: Come on, a bit of exercise could not hurt you.

Davey turns around and sat there looking annoyed, and really didn’t want to put up with this crap.]

Davey: Why don’t you move on to some other guy, and do your fling.

Jennifer: Excuse me? Do my fling? For your information sir, I just don’t go throwing my self around from man to man like most men would assume. All I wanted to do was dance, but now. to actually be in presence of such slime.

Davey: Would you just shut up and leave me alone?

Davey still look annoyed, and he turned around ignoring Jennifer’s ranting. Geez, she as bad as Mr. America. However, as he turned around, she turned him around again so he is facing her again’ “Give me a break” was the expression on his face. Jennifer looked like steam was about to come out of her ears.]

Jennifer: Listen halfwit. I asked *you* to dance. I can take a simple no, but show me the proper respect I deserve and do not come to the conclusion that I am some piece of meat to be thrown out of the way.

Davey: I said no, and you are still bugging me. if you want proper respect, you should take no as no! Geez. can you leave me alone for once?

Jennifer: So, you would actually turn down the chance of having someone who’s smarter than you by your side? Or are you just in it for a body?

Davey: No. I would turn down both of them, cause I don’t want to put up with that crap, OK???. Now get out of my face, for the last time.

Expecting her to leave, only to receive a smack across his face. Davey grew furious, and then he snap. He pushed Jennifer away from him. Considering Davey strength, and Jennifer body weight. she got thrown quite a bit. She crashes into the dance crowd.]

Davey: Parties over.

Davey gets up and tries to walk off. The people who are dancing stop as Jennifer is helped to her feet. As Davey turns around he’s nailed by a flying forearm from behind by Mr. America. The flying forearm sends Davey crashing over a set of tables as the people at the tables scatter. Mr. America takes his hat off and throws it to the side. Mr. America gets into a fighting stance.]

Mr. America: You just screwed up Davey. I put you through a table earlier and I’m about to do it again!

Davey Scott gets back to his feet and charges Mr. America, tackling him to the ground. Davey lands on top and starts swinging wildly, connecting with most of his punches. Mr. America tries to block the punches, but Davey’s knee has one of his arms pressed to the ground. Mr. America uses a double-leg hook to pull Davey off of him. Mr. America gets to his feet as Davey Scott rolls through, hops up, and levels Mr. America with a clothesline that sends him backwards to the floor. Davey Scott grabs a chair and breaks it over the back of Mr. America, sending America back to the ground.]

Davey: I screwed up? I was minding my own damn business until this bitch comes along and is practically over me! I guess you need a better taste in women!

With that, Mr. America crashes into Davey, and pounding him down, then setting him up for the Made In America, only to find himself subject to reversal turned into a powerbomb. Mr. America getting booted by hard boots of Davey, America kick Davey’s knee, making Davey fall and in a lot of pain’ Davey and America gets up exchanging blows, as Davey throws America over the bar counter, and into the liquor shelf. Broken glass splatters everywhere, and Davey runs using the chair for height, flies over the counter, only to get a boot from America in the chest. Davey and America slowly getting up, and pounding each other again’they are both bleeding, again and they are both beating the hell out of each other. Before either of them gain any advantage, the bouncers showed up and separated the two men. Davey broke the restraint, and tackled America to the floor, and they were rolling over delivering punches to each other. By the time the bouncers got them away from each other, the club like the ring half the time, was completely trashed! The bouncers try to keep restraining Mr. America as he struggles more. A man comes up from behind and grabs Mr. America into a double chickenwing to restrain him more. The camera pans in to show Taleis.]

Taleis: Alex! Get ahold of yourself, dude!

Mr. America: Let me go Matt! Let the f[BEEP: go of me!

Davey struggles a bit more as two more huge bouncers grab his arms and restrain him. Stevie comes up front.]

Stevie: The police have been called and frankly I’m not impressed with the display of maturity you two have shown. You two are going to pay for the damages and I had better not see either of you around here again! Does this look like the UCP to you!? Do I look like I’m the guy who runs the UCP!?

The whole bar groans as Mr. America, Davey Scott, and Taleis give the camera a funny look.]

Bob: Who didn’t see that one coming?

Mr. America and Davey Scott are escorted out of the place. Mr. America is pushed on direction as Davey is pushed the other.]

Davey: This isn’t over America! Trust me, you just messed up in royal fashion!

Mr. America: Can it “Sexy Boy”! You screwed up! YOU DID!

Davey extends his middle finger.]

Davey: Well, “America’s Perfection”, we’ll see what happens. Trust me, you’re going to see a whole lot more of me in the near future.

Davey is pushed out of view as Jennifer comes walking out.]

Jennifer: That was real mature. What the hell were you thinking?

Mr. America: Saving your sorry ass.

Jennifer: Excuse me, but I *don’t* need your help! I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.

Mr. America: Sure Jennifer, I’m real sure about that. You talk yourself into too many problems that you’re not able to handle.

Jennifer: That’s funny coming from the walking ego.

Mr. America shakes himself loose and glares at the bouncers as they walk back towards the bar.]

Jennifer: What, are you going to show off your masculinity and beat them up too?

Mr. America: Jenn, just f[BEEP: off. I don’t care what feministic thoughts are running through your mind right now because if you want a verbal argument I’ll
walk right through you!

Jennifer straightens up.]

Mr. America: I don’t want to even hear it because you’ll stick your foot in your mouth, chick.

Jennifer: Chick?

Mr. America: I’m sorry, did I offend the babe here?

Jennifer eyes close a bit with anger.]

Mr. America: Face it, the only asset you do possess is your body because your mind sure as hell doesn’t work.

Mr. America walks off as Jennifer watches him go. A few moments later a car starts up and takes off. Jennifer stands there looking like she can’t believe that just happened. Davey Scott pulls up in his Harley Davidson and stops.]

Davey: Hey toots, tell your “boyfriend”, next time. he won’t be able to walk away!

Davey speeds off as Jennifer shakes her head. She turns around and walks to the pay phone behind her. She puts in a quarter and dials a number.]

Jennifer: Hey Traci. Yeah, it’s Jenn. Yeah, we’ll he just left me here. I need a ride back. you can? Yeah, I really do appreciate it. yeah. yeah. I
will see you in a few minutes.

Jennifer hangs up the phone as a man walks up to her.]

Man: Hey baby.

Jennifer: I am *not* in the mood, bucko! Back off while you can still walk!

The man backs off with a confused look and heads towards the club. Jennifer stands there tapping her foot for a few minutes as anger is present on her face. A car pulls up and Jennifer gets in as the camera fades out.:
Davey: Hah, they just don’t know when to quit. I have no comment for this footage as the Commissioner has forced me from comment for this footage, however, up next. it none other then Godiva Rage!

Godiva Rage

Godiva Rage lies poolside, sipping a strawberry daiquiri. Her eyes are covered by big sunglasses and she wears a big floppy at that has more material than is present in all her swimsuit. She crosses her legs, balancing the drink in her palm.]

Godiva: Oi, what was the ruddy big deal, eh? Stacks Coltrain, you could’ve at least offered me a sweat. You know, before or after the match. I mean really. This ain’t at all a test. Blimey, I mean I’ve. ad blokes lay down for me before, bu it ain’t never been in the ring, you know. Well, UCP, I. ope you’re offering me a bit more of a challenge sometime soon right, cause if I get bored bad things start to. appen to people. And I ruddy we’ll don’t want that to. appen. Oy, this Mr. America is lookin’ pretty keen. I was wonderin’ if you’d like to tango a bit with the British Bombshell. I know you colonists have this thing against the we proper folks. And I know, as puritanical as you are that you can’t. ang with me and my degenerate nature, but why don’t you give it a go.
Let’s see if you can. old on this ride or if I’ll toss you right out of the saddle.

Godiva winks malevolently.]

Godiva: Ta!

Davey: British Bombshell? I don’t think so. Sorry, you ain’t that beautiful, so you better catch up on your beauty sleep, a millenium worth! As for me, no, I don’t do the tango with half-wits. Colonist? Whoa whoa here, I am a full fledged citizen of the United States, when did it change back to the Empire of Great Britain? Or is this all part of her delusional dream? Well, time to wake up, you raging [censor], this place no longer belongs to the United Kingdom. no more. Man, we broke away, what. 200 years ago? Where you been? Come on a try to ride my saddle, you will find it rather long and bumpy. You don’t want to try me, woman. cause you will find yourself, down in the dumps and that is a guarantee. However, a news brief. 2 title matches, possibly three. Here is the lineup so far for that night. For the TV title, oh god. you think Deck the Halls was bad, here is a worst idea. however, with the new show, Primal Rage, it doesn’t matter. it not the main money maker. However, it shall be Virgo vs. Asian Invasion. Two of the biggest waste of time this fed has. Virgo and the Trininnies. What next, America and the Underpants? Anyways, ahh. here is a good match, on the line, the Internet Title, it shall be the Executioner vs. who else but moi! It is about damn time someone signed that damn contract. Now it time to weed out the has-beens and my first target. is Executioner! Well, that all the time I have to talk tonight, however, after I leave educating you fools, the feature match of the night shall appear. however, first, closing thoughts. Never fear, my commoner intellect deficit, I shall keep it short, and sweet. Virgo and Trininnies. grow up, we are not here to put up with the wannabe stable of the world, and if you bring in the Underpants, I shall seriously start heading to the door. Executioner, a lost soul who about to be abolished, can we say, night night? Adam Sanchez, don’t give up your day job. it doesn’t look like you will be enforcing anything but you r stupidity. Traci and Rachel, get a tailor. if you are not going to dress appropriate, then don’t blame me for treating you like I do. You ask for it! Monica, get some therapy. First you made, then your happy, then your sad, then you are with the Femmes. get some help. you are obviously losing it. Asian Invasion, better brush your teeth and get ready for bed, cause it is lights out! Shiva, the only thing you remind me of is that Mortal Kombat character, ugly and stupid! Show some improvement, then you can talk! Rage, get into the right century, cause you are so backtracked, you might think you are the biggest hit when you are just last years news!

Producer: Come on Davey, we got to do the feature.

Davey: Yea Yea Yea. alright, hold your pants up. I am a man, not a woman! Anyhow, here is the time-waster, I mean feature match of the evening.

Ed: Interesting comments…

Biff: …lots of them…

Ed: …from Davey Scott. Next week, he gets his chance at the North American Championship during the debut of UCP’s Primal Rage. Also signed for that match, Virgo defends the TV Title against Asian Invasion in a preview to their contest at Deck The Halls.

Biff: Now. I’ve got a scoop.

Ed: You’ve got a scoop? Oh please.

Biff: Check this out. Traci Lane will defend the UCP Cruiserweight Championship against Taleis.

Ed: What? Let me see that. well. I’ll be damn.

Biff: Ha! I finally outscooped Ed!

Ed: Miracles can happen. let’s go to ringside.

Shiva vs. Stacks Coltrain

Announcer: This match is one fall. First. coming down the aisle, weighing in at 165 pounds. this is Shiva.

Shiva comes down the aisle. enters the ring]

Announcer: !and her opponent. now approaching ringside, weighing in at 185 pounds. representing the Crew. this is Stacks Coltrain!

Ed: There’s the bell and we’ve got a lockup. Shiva blocks a side suplex and nails a body slam. Shiva goes for a elbowdrop, but Stacks with a rollaway and both wrestlers are back on their feet.

Biff: Lockup. no. Shiva with a kick to the midsection and a DDT. cover. one. two. kickout by Stacks. Shiva clamps on a clawhold but Stacks is in the ropes. Shiva with a slap and Stacks pushes Shiva and Shiva collides with the referee.

Ed: Stacks takes advantage of Shiva’s distraction and nails her with her Spinning DDT. this one is over. Stacks with the cover but no ref to count. the referee is down. Stacks up and is trying to wake up the referee.

Biff: Referee is shaking his head. wait. Shiva from behind with a rollup!! One. two.

Ed:.she’s got the tights.

Biff:.three!! Shiva with a quick win!!!

Announcer: Winner of the match in 3: 01. Shiva!!

Ed: Stacks is pissed.

Biff: She’s not too bright.

Ed: Next week we’ll be here for the debut of Primal Rage, for Biff, Elaine, Shelly, Myers and for Davey Scott. I’m Ed Bagel and we’ll see you at ringside.

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