Rebranded and restarted, the UCP will remain in the OWA timeline. Reintroduction of several athletes into this new phase of the promotion

Davey Scott

In a set that looks like behind the arena, Davey is in a leather Jacket which says the Squad, and he is in jeans, and a white shirt. He is also wearing sunglasses, but needless to notice he is on crutches. Davey look a little lighter then we remember him]

Davey: Well, what do you know, look who back. Well folks, I don’t think so. For months, I been giving people what they want, and where does it get me, nowhere! Perhaps everyone would like me to be the big prancing knight in shining armor, we’ll personally, I think that [censor], and you all know it. I got a few unfinished business left in the former OWA. Consuelo Salyards, I have faced you twice, and both have even off the score. Now, it is time, to find out who the best of the two. We don’t have to know who is the best, I look at him in the mirror every day. Consuelo, when I get my hands on you, I will kick you [censor: so badly, the coroner will cry! Mr. America. The man every American wants to be. That is a bunch of [censor: and you know it! We have never crossed path, but the more I think about it, I think you are an [censor]! When I return to the ring, I shall take out two birds, with the same gun! What can you do about it? Nothing, there nothing you can do about it!

Walks off the set, with crutches]

Scene changes with the old OWA set being torn down and a new set being built. Everything goes black and the lights come up and you see Shelly Marks and Elaine Bryant sitting behind a desk and behind them the new UCP logo sits.]

Shelly: Welcome to the Gospel Truth, I’m Shelly Marks.

Elaine: And I’m Elaine Bryant and the OWA is no more. Things have been fine-tuned and the folks that brought you the great action in the OWA are back with what is now being called, Universal Cruiser Pro.

Shelly: Important news. Consuelo Salyards contract is in negotiations. Apparently she isn’t sure she can meet the 150 pound weight requirement in order to compete in UCP. Now, this leaves the UCP with the Internet Title possibly vacant.

Elaine: And that’s not the only title up in the air. Let’s hear the new commissioner of UCP.

Commish: Just a quick note, The Extremists have decided against resigning with UCP. Therefore, the UCP Tag Team Championship will be vacated and put on hold.

Also, we are going to disband the Trio Tag Titles.

We have also not heard from Ms. Consuelo Salyards. She still has the Internet Title in her possession, but has not yet signed a new contract with UCP. We are trying to contact Ms. Salyards and will let you know as soon as we hear anything.

Shelly: Shocking news. The Extremists, no longer a part of UCP. The Tag Team titles have been vacated and put on hold, pending a future tournament to find new tag team champions. And what about Consuelo Salyards? Will she continue to be the North American Champion?

Elaine: Speaking of titles, someone still on the hunt in UCP is Mistress Monica Brant. Let’s hear from her now.

Monica Brant

(The camera shows a silhouetted figure walking down a corridor. Then, it cuts to scenes of OWA wrestling action. We see a woman devastating several other wrestlers, male and female. A female voice narrates.)

Voice: once there was the OWA. It was a federation that allowed both genders to compete without bias. Of those wrestlers, a chosen few distinguished themselves as excellent. Including Monica Brant.

(We see the silhouette again, the figure walks into the light, and we see the long blond tresses and athletic figure of Monica Brant.)

Monica: Now, that same federation calls itself the UCP. Cruiserweight wrestling at its finest. And. Mistress. Monica Brant is going to continue to dominate anyone who gets in my way. Count on it!

Elaine: Monica Brant back and ready for action here in UCP.

Shelly: We heard briefly from Davey Scott at the top of the program, let’s get some more in-depth comments from the man who used to call himself the “Renegade.”

Davey Scott

Standing with crutches, Davey is looking on wearing white T-shirt and black jeans, with boots. His hair has been cut to about 5 inches in length since the last time they saw him. Also, he lost about 20 pounds since the last time you saw him, now he looks on looking into the camera, however, not smiling]

Davey: UCP eh? What’s this? They complain about my name changing, but OWA. Or should I say UCP, shouldn’t talk now. There is only one reason I am here, contract. But other than that, you can stuff it. Fans cheering on. They cheer on people like Mr. America. Yea, I am talking to you, Mr. America. You going around, waving that flag, prancing around. What a crock. Mr. America, the time will come, when you go down. It time to find out, who is definitely the best of the fleet, we’ll we don’t need to know who that it is, cause I look at the best in the mirror every morning. The only excuse for you to use, is I am on crutches, and out of action for a matter of weeks. But beware Mr. America, when I am back in the ring, you better start running, cause I will be coming right after you! Another person who should start changing her running shoes pretty soon, is Consuelo Salyards! That right Salyards, I am back, and you know what I am after. I don’t need to repeat my intentions to anyone, cause no one deserves to hear it twice. Better start running. Cruiserweights? If you are that light, running should be no problem, but you are looking at the man, on crutches or not on crutches, I shall run from no man, no woman, and definitely no commissioner! You got that straight? Cause I won’t repeat it if you didn’t, cause none of you deserve the right to hear me speak twice, cause it is a privilege you folks won’t get often! Get it straight!


Shelly: No word from Davey Scott on exactly how he got injured, however, he should be ready for action by Halloween Horror.

Elaine: Someone else who’s going to be ready for Halloween Horror will be Pretty Boy Monty. Let’s get his comments.

Pretty Boy Monty

(A camera zooms across the ocean headed for an island, there are numerous workers running around, moving furniture, making additions, in general working their tails off. In the middle of all the confusion stands a figure wearing a yellow hard hat and a plastic sweat suit. As the Camera zooms in it is sort of hard to recognize exactly who the figure is. The figure takes off the hard hat and reveals a full afro that is an amazing color or red, as the figure turns around the familiar smile of Pretty Boy Monty is immediately recognized)

Monty: Well, Well, it seems as if the cameras are finally back in action. As you can see I have been dispatched by Stacks to get The Mansion back into living condition. A few things have changed since you last saw me eh?! I have a full head of hair, but don’t worry, the nice and shiny Mr. Clean look will be back soon enough. And this little weight suit, we’ll I have to make the weight, it is kinda hard to come down in weight but, no matter a man has to do, what he has to do. Let’s see (walking towards the mansion)

Most everyone has been offered a contract to wrestle again, some may not accept, but that is life, Hell I just glad MP. Inc. or whatever they were called have disappeared. What a joke, but none the less there are still a few folks I owe something to. Mr. America, last I remember we were set for a date, (Opens his planner,) Ah here it is, signed and delivered contract. Maybe we can be the first to dance together. Hell it looks as if I have to work my way back to the top who better to start with, hahahaha, hell the knee should be better by now. Let’s not forget The Femmes and The Elites, Traci is still the Champ and Tony is still crying for respect, hahaha, We’ll folks just wanted to say Hi, You will hear from me again, but I have some things to do

(Walks towards the Ballroom, “No No you idiots the Ring goes inside the Gym, not the Ballroom, I don’t care if there was room…. “)

Shelly: Pretty Boy Monty is back in UCP and ready for action. Sounds like Monty would like to get his hands on Anthony Hazard.

Elaine: Another name back in action is Miguel Thunder. Let’s hear from him right now.

Miguel Thunder

Miguel is standing in the middle of a Japanese gym, wearing a black gi. His hair is apparently dyed blonde, and it is currently light brown due to the water and sweat streaming down from the mop. The camera Approaches him, as he kicks and punches a large bag of sand for working out. As Miguel hits the bag, it makes a deafening WHACK!!!!!]

Hello. Am I interrupting anything??

Huh? What is it!?

I’ll take that as a no. Did you know the OWA is back?

Duh! Why do you think I’m working out? To improve my already good-looking self???

I see you got an attitude since it closed down.

Yah, your point? Listen, I don’t have much time to chat here.

OK, whatever. Seeing you are one of the pioneers of this federation, how do you feel about it being changed?

It surprises me it opened up again. I haven’t heard from the Commish in, what, 2 months? I just supposed it’s over, so I moved to Tokyo to join NJPW, so I did. Now then, what is it???

Just needed your feelings.

Elaine and Shelly are quiet and confused for a few moments before Shelly picks up the task.]

Shelly: Also returning to action here in UCP, is none other than Mr. America. It’s just been announced that Mr. America, along with Anthony Hazard are the first two to be allowed entrance into the Wheel of Torture tournament. He always has a lot to say, so let’s get there now.

Mr. America

The scene opens to a gym that was seen a few months back. The camera pans around to show a juice bar, the familiar ring, and the lifting equipment. A familiar figure stands looking in one of the mirrors. The man turns around to show the visage of Mr. America. He looks at Bob, the OWA camera man and smirks.]

Mr. America: Bob, been a long time hasn’t it?

Bob: Yep. Last time we did this you were had just left the hospital.

Mr. America: Yeah, things change and time goes on. Take a look at this though.

Mr. America backs up a bit to show that he’s got more muscle definition. His upper body has more definition to it.]

Mr. America: Yeah, I lost about thirty pounds to come back to the OWA.

Bob: That’s UCP now.

Mr. America: Different name, but familiar faces. I even noticed someone I knew before I ever stepped foot into the OWA has joined up here. Like I said, a different name, but I’m sure I’ll still be the guy who’s the heat machine. The guy that’s on everyone’s hit list. I wonder if Virgo’s going to bring that Equalizer stuff with him.

Mr. America turns around and looks into the mirror.]

Mr. America: Last time I weighed this much was about a year ago. I started out at 256lbs and added weight to put a power game into my technique. I’ve still got most of the power, but I can actually move faster in the ring too. This time, I’m not coming with just the piledriver either. It’s more refined and a lot deadlier. We’ll see how a leaping piledriver can do for folks.

Mr. America strikes a bicep flex.]

Bob: Well, I’ll ask you a few questions since George is still on vacation. Now that you’re back, what will be your immediate plans?

Mr. America turns back towards the camera.]

Mr. America: I don’t know. I’ll probably be a bit more laid back for the beginning of the UCP. I just want to see how things to. I’ve got a good record. I’ve beaten some of the better known names in the old OWA. I’ve actually improved my tag team skills as well. We’ll see what happens.

Bob: You mean you could be looking for a tag team partner?

Mr. America: Whatever suits my needs when the time is right. Right now, I’m just going to look out for me. Taleis has the TV title and we kept in touch. I just want to see where my old colleague stands.

Bob: As in who?

Mr. America: You’ll know when the time is right.

Bob: What about the rest of the UCP? The rest of the old crew that’s coming back?

Mr. America: What about them? There are some old scores that haven’t been settled. My main focus won’t be on those people or a belt, believe it or not. I was more or a marked man without a belt and that’s the way I want to keep it. I’ll just do what I do best.

Bob: What’s that?

Mr. America: Being the UCP heat machine now. I’ll just sit back and wait to see what happens. When I first came to the OWA, I turned the place on its head. I’m actually a veteran like most of the old guys and gals comin’ back. I’ll wait on my old bones and see what young, new lion or lioness comes to claim my crown. Otherwise I’ll just sit back and watch events unfold before me.

Bob: You actually seem a bit different.

Mr. America smiles.]

Mr. America: As the old saying goes. The more things change, the more they stay the same. The name of the game is. I don’t have to prove myself to anyone here. If they feel I do, oh well. They’ll get over it and they’ll live. I’m not a hard man to find and getting me in the ring is easier than an eighteen year old some alcohol.

Mr. America turns back towards the mirror.]

Mr. America: I’m already geared up for the start. We just have to see how we’ll I can do.

Bob: No comments for anyone? Not even the champions? Most people will probably talk about dethroning them.

Mr. America: Nope. I won’t let the TV belt come between my friendship with Taleis and the same goes for Traci.

Bob: What about all those fun times you had? The times with Wendy Ryker at Ted’s Bar. The time you made a fool out of yourself with Tom Tomorrow as Freddy Fever, Wendy, and Traci looked on?

Mr. America: Something that happened awhile back and it’ll be sometime before that happens again. Not that I don’t want to go out or anything. I just want to actually see what happens. I want to become like Freddy. He doesn’t say that much or do that much. He’s there, though, and you know he is.

Bob: Okay, do you think you’ll win any titles this time around?

Mr. America: We’ll just have to watch and see. If I want a title I’ll shoot for it. Right now I’m just going to shoot for a comfortable place on the couch and watch.

Bob: You’re talking like your old.

Mr. America: Bob, I’m not Anthony Hazard. I’m still young to most of the people here that have paid a lot of dues. It’s just time to see the potential that’s coming into the UCP. There is just one regret.

Bob: What’s that?

Mr. America: The absence of Diamond Brett Robbins. Brett didn’t return, but that’s life. I’m sure I can coax him into turning up though.

Bob: What about Jennifer?

Mr. America: Don’t know what happened to her nor am I that concerned right now.

Bob: You’ve mellowed.

Mr. America turns around with a smirk on his face.]

Mr. America: Nah, I haven’t mellowed. I just don’t have a lot to say. Looking at me speaks for itself because it’s not every day that you look at what every American aspires to be. You don’t look at America’s Perfection all that often.

Mr. America walks off as the camera fades out.]

Shelly is practically asleep. Elaine nudges Shelly who snaps alert]

Shelly: He’s done already? That was short for Mr. America.

Elaine: He sounds much more focused than the Mr. America we saw back in June.

Shelly: Another UCP superstar looking to get back into action is none other than “The Way It Is. himself. Asian Invasion.

Asian Invasion

(The scene opens to show Asian Invasion lounging poolside in a plush mountain resort. The camera goes through several screens of him playing golf, working out, and dancing with the Spice Girls on top of his “The Way It Is” bus. It then cuts to Asian, inside the bus.)

Asian Invasion: Well, it’s been a long time kids, and I’m now back, with the first UCP edition of The Way It Is. I’m sure that you’ve all missed me in our time off, and that’s good. What have most of you been doing, sitting around like a pack of goons for all I care? NOW, it’s time to get back into the ring. I’m so looking forward to Halloween Horror, because Christmas will be coming a little early this year. I’m sure that the Commish is gonna send me my invite ANY day know to be in the tournament, and I can’t wait!!! I know that it’ll be a sad day for professional wrestling when Mrs. America is invited into a tournament, and I’m not. You know America, it’s been a long time, and I just can’t wait to get back in the ring with your flag wavin’ ass, and show you a thing or two about one thing, and one thing only: The Way It Is.

Elaine: Asian Invasion doing what he does best. Talking trash. Apparently, he’s hoping for a spot at Halloween Horror as well.

Shelly: Also returning to action is the former TV Champion, Virgo. Let’s get his comments right now.


{“Thunderstruck” by AC/DC is playing loudly. The camera pans out over a stormy sky, lightning flashing everywhere. The screen moves down, as a quick flash of the OWA TV Title blinked across the screen, lasting merely a split second. As the screen continues to move down, a flash across the screen shows a Canadian flag, but it’s gone just as suddenly as it appeared. The screen moves down to normal level, lightning striking the tree standing in the background, causing it to explode as a branch is torn off. The screen flashes once more, showing a shot of the night sky on a clear night. Suddenly, the camera swings around, revealing a figure standing in the rain, his arms down at his side. He raises his hands up in front of him, a metal pole in each. Lightning strikes the two poles, sending electricity down through the poles, into the figure, and into the ground. The figure drops the poles, and walks towards the camera. As the spotlight from the camera settles on him, the face on the figure comes into view, and looks quite familiar, yet different.}

“Greetings OWA. Surely you haven’t forgotten the most unpredictable man on the active roster? Some may call me by insulting names. Some may address me by my alter ego in other feds. But you all remember me. The man who threw that punk America from the roof top of the arena to the mat below. The man who signed onto the Crew, but was kicked out after a very short time. The man who has everything to gain, and nothing to lose.”

{The figure looks up into the camera, and grins sadistically.}

“That’s right. Virgo’s back. And this time, I ain’t playing no games. While the OWA went onto a summer hiatus, I took on a new identity in both the SWF, and the IWF. Mr. America, you should remember me. As we’ll as those of you in the Underground, or affiliated with it. I took the form of the Master of Disaster, The Equalizer. I had the TV title here. That is nothing compared to what I am doing in other feds. One title already. Held for months. Not planning to let it go. An upcoming PPV, in which I get a World Title shot, a Tag Team Title shot, AND a title defense. All in the course of 3 hours, on one card. Impressive for the guy you all thought would end up being a useless jobber, isn’t it?”

{Virgo chuckles, raising his face to the pouring rain.}

“Old scores unsettled will soon be. Old wounds caused will be reopened. The OWA is functioning again, and it’s open season on all my enemies. And there are many. But Virgo is not alone this time. He has made many friends. Many who share my lack of control. Those who are willing to take risks to get to the top. The Crew, you are a stable, yes, but I know how to function in a stable. And I am aware of how to take them down. You I have not forgotten. The Crew will pay. And I am already making plans to reclaim that which is mine. The OWA TV Title. Yes, I will get it back.”

{Virgo steps back from the camera.}

“Virgo is back, and he is more potent than the last time. If any of you care to test that theory, then I’ll be there for you to find. Until we meet….”

{Virgo turns, walking off into the storm, lightning flashing around him as thunder crashes overhead.}

Shelly: Virgo looks ready to go. He obviously would like to get Taleis back in the ring for a TV Title rematch.

Elaine: He was talking to the Crew. Let’s hear from a member of that rollercoaster organization. Here’s Shogun.


Shogun: The only thing I want to say to all our UCP wrestlers is, Watch out!!!! The Crew and THE MIGHTY SHOGUN have returned. I’m the best martial artist in the UCP, and if anyone wants to take me on, be ready to face my PALM BLOW!!! Remember, THE CREW RULES THE UCP NOW!!!AND ALWAYS WILL!!!!!

Elaine: Short and to the point is how Shogun usually is and the hiatus hasn’t changed him one bit.

Shelly: We just got this in. Consuelo Salyards has just made weight and entered into the UCP and will keep her North American Championship. We’ve got some comments from her right now.

Consuelo Salyards

(Camera comes up on Consuelo Salyards, in a tank top and tight short shorts. Her long black hair is tied in a big red bow, and the Internet title is strapped firmly around her waist. Her sinewy muscles bulge slightly as she puts her hands on her hips.)

Consuelo: Well, well, well. Will you look at this? Brand new name, same old chumps.

(She grins.)

You can count the North American Champ in, even though I did have to eat my vitamins to get up to the weight minimum. No matter, though. I’ll still be kicking your asses just like always. The Femmes are back, my friends, and ready to do a little damage.

(She takes the belt off, looks at it, then drapes it over her shoulder.)

Still looks hellagreat there, doesn’t it?

(She flashes her supermodel smile, then laughs as the camera fades to black.)

Shelly: Consuelo Salyards back in action and still the North American Champion in the OWA.

Elaine: Also back in action is “The Show” Ricky Hype. Let’s hear his comments at this time.

Ricky Hype

scene opens in outside the order window at Buddy Fudge’s Ice Cream Emporium where Ricky “The SHOW” Hype is surrounded by about 20 kids in baseball uniforms as he is ordering all kinds of cool treats for them. On the back of their jerseys is embroidered “Little Hypesters”.]

Hype hands the last cone out and turns to meet the UCP camera crew]

Ricky Hype, holding a Little Hypester in his left arm. ”Oh, hey guys, thanks for showing up! Thought I’d say a few words about the action that’s about to get under way in the UCP. First, I hope the babbling mouths keep them shut at least for a little while before the uncontrollable urge to insert their foot overcomes them. We all know who these people are don’t we?

For example, Flagboy, Rugboy, Girlie-Boy, No-Gun, Scott-Tissue, etc., etc.

Ricky Hype, herds the Little Hypesters over to the Hype-mobile RV. They all imitate the famous shuffle Hype has made so popular with the fans]

Ricky Hype: The Elite is not a force to be reckoned with anymore!!

reporter: Ricky, what do you mean? The Elite has been disbanded?

Ricky Hype: Wait and see fellas. You’ll soon get a look at the new UCP Prime-time attraction!!

Ricky “The SHOW” Hype turns and climbs aboard the Hype-mobile RV. As he turns the camera catches the purple writing on the back of his chrome jacket. It reads, “TEAM CHARISMA”]

the scene chromes out]

Myers Watterson: Welcome to your Halloween Horror Update.

On October 31st, the Wheel of Torture will take it’s revenge as 8 UCP superstars will compete in order to get a change to take on the UCP Cruiserweight champion at Cruel-tide Greetings in December.

Already signed for the event are Mr. America and Anthony Hazard. With 6 more names to be announced.

Also /just/ signed this week:

A rematch for the UCP Television Championship: TV Champion, Taleis will defend against Virgo.

And for the UCP Cruiserweight Championship: Traci Lane in the much anticipated match, will defend against Freddy Fever.

Let’s hear from the King of Disco right now:

Freddy Fever

(Inside Freddy’s Disco Bar, Freddy Fever counts the evening’s receipts, then puts the money in a safe and locks it tight. He turns and chuckles.)

“3 months, I’ve had to wait, and now they want me to wait another? That’s fine. Traci, I’ve all the respect in the world for you as champion, but everybody knows that at Press Your Luck, your title would have been around my waist and they’d be calling me the champion right now.”

“That’s fine.”

“Come Halloween Horror, I’ll be making myself a three time UCP Champion, just like yourself. All the hiatus gave you was a little longer to be called “champ”. We might be friendly out of the ring, but in the ring, I want to be the top dog and if I have to beat you to be there, I will.”


Myers: Freddy Fever ready for Halloween Horror. Let’s go back out to Shelly and Elaine.

Shelly: Thanks Myers. We’re about done for this edition of. The Gospel Truth. However, we’ll close this show with a word from the current reigning UCP Cruiserweight Champion, Traci Lane.

Elaine: For Shelly Marks, I’m Elaine Bryant and we’ll see you next time.

Traci Lane

(The scene opens on an old, battered-looking wrestling ring situated centrally in a small, smoke-filled arena. A row of bright lights illuminates the squared circle as “The Black Widow,” Traci Lane, faces off with a broad-shouldered man sporting a myriad of tattoos. Both combatants are covered with sweat, with a line of blood trickling down the side of Traci’s forehead; her opponent, John “The Bull” Hanley, sports a gash over his right eye and a split lip.

Bull charges, and Traci ducks under, to rebound off the ropes. He spins and catches a dropkick flush on the jaw, sending him to the canvas. Traci hauls him to his feet, scoops him up, then pushes him high overhead, showing him off to the crowd. As the fans cheer “GPP! GPP!”, she braces herself, jumps, then brings him down for her patented Gorilla Press Piledriver. She crawls over him and hooks a leg, and the ref counts one. two. three.

Traci slides off, to have her hand raised in victory, then steps out of the ring. The view fades, to reappear in her locker room, where she sits on a metal folding chair, dabbing at her cut with a towel full of ice. She looks at the camera and offers an exhausted smile.

Traci: Hullo, everybody! This is Traci Lane, just trying to keep my skills sharp while the OWA comes off hiatus. These back-alley “extreme” feds are quite a lot of fun, actually — if you can stand the occasional street fight and barbed wire match, that is. Of course, once we begin our new phase as Universal Cruiserweight Pro, I expect the competition to remain as intense as ever. I’m really not sure what led to this evolution, but no matter — I’ll remain and defend the championship with the same vigor and enthusiasm.

There isn’t much to say right now, except that I hope our original cast — Freddy, Anthony, Davey, America, and even those annoying twits, Asian and Billy — return to do battle with me and the Femmes. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of a spirited struggle with one’s peers, and I’ve missed it terribly.

That’s all from here. I may need stitches, so I’ll need to wrap things up. See you in the ring!

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